Just so anyone is curious, no, I don't mean to imply in the story that Téa and Joey hate each other. I just think that they can get on each other's nerves likes brothers and sisters do. (Which my own siblings can testify to.)
Chapter 2: The Airport
"…And that's fifty points for me. I win." Yugi checked off a square on the piece of cardboard he held.
Téa sighed, flinging her board across the van. "I can't believe it."
Joey looked up. "That you lost, or that Yugi found the white stretch limo before you did?"
"That's we're playing 'Roadside Bingo'! I can't believe that we're so bored that we have to revert to games for whiny seven-year-olds!"
Yugi shrugged good-naturedly. "It kept you and Joey from killing each other for an hour."
Joey paused from collecting the boards. "Why did your dad happen to have these on hand, Téa?"
Yugi frowned and examined the boards closely. "Aren't these the same bingo boards we played with back in second grade, when your mom drove us places?"
Téa blinked, flushing a deep red. "Oh my God, I can't believe they kept them," she groaned.
Joey grinned evilly. "Are you sure that you didn't keep 'em?" he suggested. "To use when you and your parents go out?"
Téa turned even redder. "Joey Wheeler, you have some nerve…" she began.
"Come on, Téa, we won't tell if you still play kiddie car games, everyone has their guilty pleasures!"
"JOEY!" Téa was practically frothing at the mouth now, and looked ready to rip the blonde's head off his neck.
Unfortunately, Joey, not being of the same perception as his compatriots, continued to 'dig his own grave.' "I mean, I never woulda pegged you as being the…GARG!"
At this point, Téa had launched herself from her seat and begun to throttle him. Yugi briefly wondered why the seatbelt wasn't holding Téa to her seat (Wasn't that sort of defeating the purpose, after all?) before trying to separate the two.
"Don't stop me, Yugi!" she shrieked like a madwoman. "Kill! Rip! Tear!"
"Garfle," Joey gurgled, which could have meant anything…or nothing. Yugi decided that he was trying to say "Help me, Téa's lost it!"
"Um, guys…" he tried. Téa went on choking Joey, whilst the blonde turned some very interesting shades of blue Yugi had only ever seen in that jumbo-sized box of 96 crayons he still kept from childhood (safely hidden under the bed, of course).
Oh, great…As the shrieking and gurgling reached a crescendo, there came a scream from the cabin: "DON'T MAKE ME STOP THIS CAR!"
The three blinked in confusion, even Joey. Yugi climbed into the front to see Tristan, hands clenched on the steering wheel, with a blank look on his face. "Uh…Tristan?" Yugi ventured.
Tristan shook himself, and his expression returned to normal. "Wow…I finally turned into my dad…" his voice held a note of awe and utter horror. "What was going on back there? It sounded like a massacre!"
"Uh…" Yugi struggled for explanation. "Joey," he finished, hoping Tristan would understand.
"Ah," the brunet nodded, in complete comprehension. "Just go back there and tell him to shut up unless he wants to ride on the roof, 'kay?"
"HEY! I heard that, you big lummox!" Joey shouted from the back of the van.
"Good," Tristan replied languidly. "Now shut your yap before I have to come back there and beat you."
"I'd like ta see you try, you doof!"
Tristan yawned.
"So, how far are we from Domino?" Yugi queried.
Tristan's eyes briefly flickered to the roadmap covering the passenger's side of the dashboard. "We're making pretty good progress. In an hour or so, we should be near L.A."
"Cool!" Téa's eyes sparkled.
"And no, we're not stopping to go visit shops or whatnot," Tristan continued, "We will drive by. You may lean out the window and take pictures if you wish, but we will be avoiding the city like the plague."
Téa gave him a raspberry. {A.N. You know, that thing where you stick your tongue out and make a 'Pbbft' noise? I can't do it, but my sister can. It's funny…}"Mean."
"I know," Tristan drawled, "I'm SOOO mean." He gave a brief, evil grin. "But watcha gonna do?"
Joey shrugged. "Besides, the traffic's horrible. Tris is right. We should probably just stay clear away from L.A." He paused. "Hey, I made a rhyme!"
"Whoop-de-do," Téa muttered. Yugi sighed.
"I'm a poet, and I don't even know it!"
Perhaps God was smiling on Téa and Yugi, or maybe even Fortune herself favored the teens. While a bolt of lightning did not spring from the heavens to knock Joey unconscious to stop his horrible poetry, the next best possible thing happened.
Yugi's cell phone began to ring.
"Is that the can-can?" Tristan blinked.
Yugi smiled sheepishly as he reached for it. "My cell assigns different callers a specific song. Téa's is 'Dancing Queen,' and so on, but I can't remember who has the can-can." He frowned briefly, before turning the phone on. "Hello?"
The short teen blinked as he listened to the caller. "Uh…hey. Nice to hear from you, too."
Joey bounced over. "Who is it?" he asked breathlessly.
Téa smacked him upside the head. "Quiet. Yugi's talking on the phone."
Joey scowled. "I can see that."
"Then shut up!"
"YOU shut up!"
"No, you shut up!"
"NO, YOU!"
"YOU!"
"No, YOU!"
"YOU!"
"YOU!"
"SHUT UP BEFORE I HAVE YAMI MIND CRUSH YOU!" Yugi screamed.
The bickering friends' eyes bulged, and they hastily scuttled away from each other.
Yugi sighed. "Sorry about that," he apologized to the caller. "You were saying? You're where?" He bit his lip. "I don't know…we weren't planning on going into the city, but…"
Whoever was on the other end began yelling loudly. Téa could almost make out some of the words. She swore she could have heard 'ring,' but maybe it was something else.
Yugi sighed heavily. "Okay, okay, we'll be there. I promise. Okay. Okay. Goodbye. Okay. GOODBYE!" With that, he punched the little button to end the call session.
He looked up to see Téa and Joey's expectant faces. "Who was it?" shouted Tristan. "And what did they want."
Yugi fiddled with the cell. "That was Bakura calling…" he began.
Joey blinked in confusion. "What'd he want?"
Téa briefly looked confused. "I thought he was in England for the summer, visiting relatives.
"Well, he's back. He's stuck at Los Angeles International Airport, {A.N. Don't own that, obviously} and he kinda wants us to pick him up."
Joey scowled. "He's got a dad. Why doesn't he pick him up?"
"His dad is in Egypt. Work."
Joey made a sympathetic face.
Téa frowned thoughtfully. "So, does he think that we're back in Domino?"
Yugi shrugged. "Most likely."
A semi-wicked grin crept onto her face. "I guess he doesn't know that when he called the Yugi Motou hotline, he just got himself pulled onto the Road trip!" she snickered.
Joey grinned. "We're sure as heck not gonna turn around. May as well take him with us."
Yugi scampered into the cab to negotiate with Tristan.
"WHAT?"
The van skidded off to the side of the road.
"Please?" Yugi whined.
Tristan set his jaw. "No way. We are not going into that traffic trap."
"But it's Bakura! He'd be stuck there all alone…"
Tristan sighed. "You won't let up until I say yes, will you?"
"Nope!"
Tristan squeezed his eyes shut. Why do I have to be the 'nice guy'? "Fine. Yes."
"Whoo-hoo! Los Angeles ahoy!"
Tristan briefly considered smashing his head into the steering wheel.
Bakura sat patiently upon a horrible orange vinyl chair, the kind that molds itself to your body, sticky on any exposed part of your legs. He gulped, clutching his carryon. He didn't like airports. Too many people. Too many crazy people. And too much possibility for his Yami to go off and destroy something.
He allowed himself a brief glance to the side. A hugely fat woman with bluish hair and too much stifling perfume smiled at him. Her eyes gleamed under her rhinestone-rimmed glasses. "If you aren't a cute one," she purred.
Bakura quickly turned away, squeezing his eyes shut.
Yugi, get here soon!As Tristan navigated the (indeed) heavily-trafficked streets of Los Angeles, he grumbled underneath his breath the entire time about traffic, Yugi, airports, and how he really hated himself. Not that anyone in the back was paying him much mind. Joey and Téa had been getting on each other's nerves for the past hour, and had been bickering over a granola bar.
Yugi decided to count the individual fibers in the carpet, thus ignoring his now-psychotic friends.
He had reached 27,00 by the time that Tristan slammed the brakes to a halt, announcing (with bad grace) that they had arrived. "I will be remaining inside the vehicle," he said grimly, "so you can just hop in, pick Bakura up, and come back out."
"Don' worry, Tristan," Joey grinned, giving him the thumbs-up signal, "twenty minutes, tops."
As they disembarked from the van, Yugi could have sworn he heard Tristan mutter, "Yeah, I've heard that one before."
The very fat women gave Bakura a predatory smile. "If you aren't just the cutest little thing," she purred, "I could just eat you up!"
Bakura eyed the rolls of fat under the orange-and-purple muumuu and started quaking. I really hope she doesn't like eating British kids…Yugi, save me!
"This place is huge," Téa murmured, craning her neck in all directions.
"Téa!" snapped Joey, "Don't do that! It makes you look like a tourist!" He put his hands behind his head, walking forward, when his jaw literally dropped. "Oh my God! It's that guy! It's him! It's Lucas!"
"Who?" Yugi inquired. Maybe it's a friend of his…
Joey was practically salivating. "It's Lucas! From One Tree Hill!"
Téa blinked. "Chad Michael Murray is here?" She shrugged. "Cool."
/Yugi…who is this "Lucas" of whom Joey seems to be so fond of?/
He's an actor, on that 'TV' thing I explained to you.
/Oh…/
"I've got to get his autograph!" Joey yelped. He started running in the starlet's direction.
"But what about Bakura?" Yugi hollered.
"We'll get him later!"
Téa rolled his eyes. "I'll chase after him, Yugi, you go get Bakura."
"…Okay…"
The fat lady had sidled over a few seats. "How'd you like to come home with me?"
Bakura sweatdropped. I'm in trouble, I'm in trouble, I'm in trouble…
What is going on?
Bakura brightened. Yami had just been awakened from his nap. Maybe this could work…
/I'm in trouble, Yami…/
You usually are… the ring spirit muttered. Fine…I'll handle this…
As Bakura was shut into his soul room, he smirked. He felt rather sorry for the old lady, now.
Téa was doing the best she could to keep up with Joey. She'd pulled off her sandals in favor of running barefoot through the airport. People might have given her odd looks, but she was too busy screaming and chasing after the blonde to notice.
She finally caught up to Joey as he was attempting to climb up a "down" escalator, chasing after his target. She panted, and then smirked as she straightened up. "You know, Joey," she drawled, "I never would have pegged you as being that type."
Joey blinked as he stopped scrabbling for a grip on the rubber banister. "What type?"
T"ea's smirk became more pronounced. "Honestly, I won't tell anybody else. I never knew you were into guys."
People bustled about the airport, scurrying to terminals, greeting loved ones, or buying soft pretzels. The bustle was broken by a roar not unlike that of a Boeing 747.
"I'M NOT GAY!"
People stood still, shocked by the outburst. Then, a fly (who had not been affected by the bellow) landed on a pretzel, causing the vendor to reach out and squish it.
Life returned to normal.
Téa began striding in the direction she had seen Yugi walk off in. Joey followed behind her, protesting and babbling the whole way. "Honestly, Téa! How could you think that of me! I would never—I mean, what in the world… I love Mai! Everybody knows THAT!"
Téa felt like doubling over and cracking up. Joey took small things like this rather seriously, so she loved setting him off. "Then why were you practically drooling when you saw him?"
"Because Serenity watches that show!" he declared. "I wanted to get his autograph for her!"
"Suuure you did."
"Of course!"
"Uh-huh."
"What, don't you believe me?"
"Not entirely."
"What do you mean by THAT?"
"Just what I said."
"I'M NOT GAY, DARN IT! I'M NOT, I'M NOT!"
Yugi sighed. The airport was very big, and his legs were only so long. Walking large distances could get very tiring. Finally, he had managed to convince a desk clerk that he was not looking for his mother, and elicited from her the terminal that Bakura's airline had docked at.
He blinked as he arrived.
A small fire had erupted at the terminal, and the frantic desk clerk was attempting to locate a fire extinguisher. Several passengers were cowering at the other end of the waiting station under a barricade of overturned chairs. A fat, elderly lady was running around in circles, squawking, her wig on fire, and a rather large hole in the rear end of her muumuu showing polka-dotted bloomers. A security officer and the pilot were in another corner, arguing heatedly, looking as if they were ready to strip off their jackets and fight.
Standing serenely in the midst of the chaos was Bakura, clutching his carryon, and smiling angelically. "Hullo, Yugi! Ready to leave, chap?"
Téa was cheerfully sitting by the luggage carousel, ignoring a frothing Joey who was flirting with every woman in sight (regardless of age, features, or marital status) to prove his "manhood," as he put it.
Yugi and Bakura exited the elevator, one looking a bit shell-shocked, and the other cheerful as a granny on bingo night.
After a brief round of greetings (Téa giving him a hug, Joey shouting hello while trying to beg a twenty-something brunette for her phone number), Bakura picked up his suitcase, and followed Yugi out the door. Téa had to drag Joey by the ear, but managed to wedge him through the revolving door.
As they piled in, Tristan clapped Bakura on the shoulder, giving him a cheerful hello.
Guess Tristan's cheered up… Yugi smiled.
"Off to home!" Bakura chirped happily. He blinked. "Why do you all have the most guilty looks on your faces?"
Joey sighed. "It's a long story, Bakura…"
"We'll fill you in," Téa added.
As Yugi shut the door, Tristan paused, sniffing the air. "Does anyone else smell brimstone, or is it just me?"
AN: Whew, another chapter down. Sorry for the LONG pause, I was just incredibly lazy. I also had to re-write the first chapter, because Duke was originally supposed to be picked up here. Don't worry, we'll see him later…
And yes, Yami Bakura may have more episodes of chaos in the future…
No, I don't own Chad Michael Murray or 'One Tree Hill.' My sister Tory absolutely loves that show, so I decided to toss that in there…
Review time!
Anime-ruthless: Aw, thanks! I'm glad you like this! Don't worry, you will be kept laughing for MANY chapters to come…
Next time…
Bakura goes spastic as he learns that he's stuck with the gang for a cross-country trek, and Joey learns the hard way that you shouldn't mess with Téa. Yugi and co. decide to make a sidestop that yields yet ANOTHER passenger…