Usual disclaimer applied.
Okay, I'm ashamed of myself here. ElfQueen and I go to all the trouble of coming up with this fic, and I go off on my own "Sabrina the Teenage Witch" tangent, and completely ignore the other two running fics I have. Sheesh. Out of my supreme guilt, may I present…
Chapter 3: Viva Las Vegas
"WHAT???????????????"
Yugi sighed in frustration, whilst Téa looked incredibly guilty; Tristan rubbed his ears in pain, and Joey…
…was eating a granola bar and completely ignoring the frothing British boy next to him.
"What do you MEAN, we're not going back?" Bakura seethed, his normally doe-like eyes widening in rage.
Yugi sighed for the 38 millionth time. "Look, we'd decided on this road trip before, we need to get to New York as soon as we can, and taking you back to Domino just wasn't in the plan."
"But who will water my ferns?" Bakura whimpered, his anger subsiding. On second thought, perhaps he was merely switching tactics in order to ensure his success at coercing Yugi and co. to drive him back.
Joey shrugged. "They'll survive. Just water 'em a lot when ya get back."
Bakura looked scandalized. "Joey, you can't do that! They'll die!"
Joey blinked. "Oh."
Bakura glared.
"Do you really need to take care of them? I mean, you can always buy new ferns, right?"
"What do you mean, do I need to take care of them? Of course I do!"
Joey frowned slightly. "C'mon, Bakura, Yugi really needs to do this."
"But what about MY needs? You're so selfish! You never think about me!"
Téa rolled her eyes before turning to pick up her water bottle. "What is this, marriage counseling?"
Needless to say, Bakura was firmly overruled. The fair-haired boy pouted as they crossed the California-Nevada border, and attempted to write a plea for help in the fog his breath created on the window.
It was as they took a break at a rest stop that Tristan proposed an idea he had been nurturing since L.A.
"Why don't we go to Vegas?"
Téa, Yugi, and Bakura looked up at him, astonished. Joey, who had been squirming the past three miles, was currently utilizing "the little Duelists' room."
"Well," Téa began slowly, "it would be nice to go…but only if we didn't spend any money at a casino or anything."
"C'mon, Téa!" Tristan groaned. "Going to Vegas and not spending at least five bucks at the craps table [stop blushing, Bakura], is like going to church and sleeping through the sermon."
"I only did that once!" Joey barked as he rejoined the group, "and you'll never let me forget it, willya?"
Tristan rubbed his forehead. "Whatever you say, pal."
"What do you think, Yugi?" Téa chirped, trying to restore a sense of normalcy into the conversation.
Yugi bit his lip. Okay, we can go off on a mini-tour of one of the neatest cities in the U.S., or we can make it to New York slightly early.
"Will there be fire and alcohol?" Bakura suddenly wanted to know. Strangely, none of Bakura's friends caught the wild glint in the boy's eyes, nor the sudden messiness of his hair.
"Duh, it's Vegas," Joey snorted.
"Then we're going, and none of you foolish mortals—er, guys, can stop me!" he triumphantly cried.
The entire group blinked.
"Okay…" Yugi slowly acquiesced, "but as long as we don't do anything illegal. We can't afford jail time."
Bakura snorted. "Please. Legality is highly overrated."
Téa brushed her skirt absent-mindedly. "What are we going to wear?" she murmured. Yugi looked at her sideways.
Tristan was still driving, Joey being slightly hyper off the protein bars he'd bought at the rest stop. Bakura had commandeered shotgun, and was trying to help Tristan navigate. None of the teens could now miss the slightly manic glint in his eyes as he contemplated something…
"Does it really matter what you have on?" Yugi murmured. "When you go into the city, I mean."
Téa looked at him, and blushed faintly. "It's a girl thing, I know. But…well…it's my first time in Vegas, and I want to…well, I guess, make a good impression."
"Téa, none of these people'll see ya again," Joey drawled.
She blushed, a little deeper this time. "I know, I know."
"I think you look nice in what you have on now," Yugi pointed out. He stopped and blushed, realizing what he'd just said to her. Oh, man, she knows now…
Yugi's got a girlfriend, Yugi's got a girlfriend…
/Yami, shut up./
Can't make me.
/You're a pain in the butt, you know that?/
I live to please.
Yugi groaned, and rolled his eyes. He could ignore Yami by taking off the Puzzle, but the Pharaoh would get huffy about it later, and do that stupid holier-than-thou 'I'm going to ignore you' shunning thing.
Téa smiled at him. "Thanks…" She was wearing a faded jean skirt trimmed with rhinestones and metal studs, and a soft white blouse embroidered with blue flowers.
Joey had been watching the interchange with eyes like a hawk, and let an insane grin slide across his face. "The two of you are so cute…" he grinned, reminding Yugi slightly of an insane monkey.
"What are you talking about, Joey?" Téa sighed, a vein slightly pulsing in her temple.
"Aw, don't try and deny it—you look adorable together!"
"Joey, explain yourself."
He smirked. "What—that you an' Yugi like each other?"
Téa and Yugi gaped at the blonde, looking much like a pair of sea bass.
"Yugi an' Téa, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…"
As Bakura attempted to decipher the map, Tristan was attempting to find the appropriate turnoff. "Do we turn here…or a quarter mile down the road?" the brunet mumbled, studying the map intently. "Then again, if Joey hadn't spilled his orange Happy Juice on it, I might be able to read the blurry, patchy spots."
"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!"
Bakura's eyes bulged until they, quite frankly, were nearly bulging out of his head. "What's that?"
"Téa and Joey arguing. Look at the number here. Do you think that's a seven, or a four?"
Yugi backed against the side of the van, watching as Joey was tied up into a pretzel, choked with his own arm. /Téa is scaaaaary when she's mad…/
"Uh, Téa?" he ventured.
Her blue eyes shone with manic delight as she nearly cut off Joey's respiration altogether.
"Téa, are you sure you don't need medication or something like that?"
She giggled madly as Joey flailed his left leg.
"TÉA! YOU'RE SCARING ME!"
Guiltily, the brunette started. "Oh—I'm sorry, Yugi."
"It's okay." They looked at each other for a minute. "Oh…and, Téa?"
"Yes?"
"Could you let Joey go now? He's turning funny colors."
She looked down at the maroon-faced boy she was choking. "Oh. Right."
And thus, Yugi Motou averted a near-crisis: preventing the death of his comrade, Joey Wheeler, and preventing the incarceration of his childhood friend and current crush, Téa Gardner.
Meanwhile, Tristan and Bakura had finally deciphered the map, guiding the group onto the correct highway leading to the city. The van inched closer and closer to the city, the occupants getting more and more excited.
Bakura was simply fidgeting, asking petulantly every five minutes, "Are we there yet?" Tristan kept gritting his teeth, answering to the negative. The twenty-third time this occurred, the teen violently whirled to face him.
"WOULD YOU LIKE TO DRIVE? HUH?"
Needless to say, Tristan would be relieved of driving duty for quite some time after this excursion was completed.
Flashing neon lights, casinos galore, and twice as many cars as L.A. announced that they had arrived in the Las Vegas city proper. Joey was fascinated by the blinking signs, nose pressed against the window. Téa huddled at the other end of the van, hoping nobody would think they were connected in any possible way.
Tristan managed to finagle a parking spot at "The Wheel O' Fortune." Yugi had to spend five minutes explaining to Joey that it was not the headquarters or the TV show, and they were not there to be contestants.
The valet was suspicious of the battered keychain Tristan handed him, (especially of the bright pink flamingo hanging from the chain) but Téa remembered to smile prettily at him, and the group was escorted into the casino proper.
The five teenagers stood in awe. The lobby was composed of white marble and gold leaf décor. Further on was a restaurant, and to the left was the actual casino.
"This place even smells rich," Joey gaped.
"I feel so…tiny…" Yugi whispered.
Tristan shook his head. "Hate ta break it to ya, buddy, but…"
Yugi swiftly kicked Tristan in the shins. "Don't remind me."
Téa began scolding Yugi for acting so violently, so no one noticed Bakura slip away…
The group had managed to finagle a table in the restaurant, and were enjoying an appetizer platter (the cost being almost that of a regular entrée at a normal restaurant, and the entrées being…even more expensive), as lounge singer after lounge singer performed the dinner entertainment.
None of them were actually very good, but a few of them were "pretty hot," as Tristan put it, so the male section of the group was briefly, and happily, distracted.
Téa, annoyed at all of them, and upset with Bakura for leaving, sat at the other end of the table, devouring every single mozzarella stick on the platter, disregarding the fact that too much cheese is not very good for you.
But as the show wore on, Téa continued to consume large quantities of processed cheese, Bakura still continued to elude the group by staying…wherever he was at…and Joey had become dazzled by one of the singers in particular.
Her name was Candy. "Cotton" Candy. A cutesy nickname given to a girl who really should have just finished high school, went on to college, earned a degree, found a fulfilling job, and became a productive member of society. Instead, Candy dropped out to become a lounge singer.
She wasn't a very good one, but that was beside the point in Joey's book. Candy's lack of talent apart, the show was unremarkable. Except for the fact that Joey seemed to have become more smitten as Candy's rendition of "It's Raining Men" continued, totally forgetting his quasi-girlfriend, Mai Valentine.
At one point, a rather annoyed Tristan had to physically restrain Joey from leaping onto stage to join the lounge singer of his dreams. And so, Yugi became the only unoccupied member of the group. He soon found an occupation in wondering just where Bakura had gone.
Yugi, is it a good idea to let Bakura out on his own?
/He's fifteen, Yami. Bakura's the most sensible out of all of us. Why should I be worried?/
Yami Bakura.
/I'm worried, I'm worried, I'm worried…/
"I'm gonna go find Bakura!" Yugi announced, leaping from the table. His three friends, busy with cheese and lounge singers, seemed oblivious to his declarations. Yugi, not caring at this particular moment in time, ran to the nearest door.
Do you have any idea where you're going?
/Not really. You?/
Nope.
/I really hope this isn't the ladies' room…/
Instead, our intrepid explorer had found the kitchen…where a small-scale pandemonium had erupted.
Every stove was on fire, with chefs running to and fro from the freezer, desperately attempting to smother the fire with ice. A double-decker wedding cake, set aside for some couple reception, had also been tampered with, the plastic bride and groom in flames. The sprinkler was attempting to help, despite the fact that it had been severely beaten with a blunt object.
In the midst of this, Yami Bakura sat on a counter, alternately drinking a bottle of Jack Daniel's and playing with a lighter.
Yugi immediately recognized the maniac glint in the boy's eyes, realizing it was the spirit of the ancient tomb robber before him, not his quiet, fern-loving, alcohol-intolerant friend Bakura.
He glared. "I can't take you anywhere, can I?"
"Lighten up," Yami Bakura slurred slightly. "I'm not that drunk…"
Suddenly, the door on the opposite side of the room flung open, with a frantic-looking chef pointing at the two boys. "It's him, Bob! The one with the crazy hair!" A burly, gorilla-like security officer, obviously Bob, stomped in.
Unfortunately, the chef and Bob had differing views on how "crazy" hair could get. The chef referred to Yami Bakura's spiky, bushy, silvery mane. Bob thought it meant the kid with bleached bangs and spiked black hair.
"You little troublemaker…" he growled, advancing on Yugi.
"Time to go!" chirped Yami Bakura, who leapt forward, and automatically smashed into the door.
Yugi blinked. In his Soul Room, Yami snickered, and momentarily possessed Yugi. "Smooth, thief, very smooth."
"Shut up," the tomb robber mumbled, "I thought it was a swinging door."
Bob was advancing even more.
"Time to go!" Yugi screamed, grabbing Yami Bakura by the collar and dragging him out the door.
Meanwhile, on stage, Candy had her arms spread, ready to deliver the crescendo of "Hit Me Baby, One More Time." Joey was faintly drooling in his seat; Tristan looked nearly comatose; Téa looked as if she'd had enough cheese.
At that precise moment, Yugi ran screaming out the door of the kitchen, dragging a rather drunk Yami Bakura behind him, with an apelike security guard chasing after them. The poor boy nearly collided with the singer, but jumped off the stage in time. Unfortunately, Bob, with the grace of a rhino, smashed into Candy, knocking her down, and stepping on her hair.
Oddly enough, her hair skidded across the floor.
Joey's jaw dropped to the floor. "It was a wig?"
Tristan smirked. "Next time, stick to dating duelists. They may be crazy, but what you see is what you get."
As Candy shrieked, clutching her buzz-cut styled head, Bob was running towards the door Yugi had himself run out of. Unfortunately for Bob, the lounge singer had had enough, and leapt off the stage, attempting to claw his eyes out with her six-inch-long manicure.
Yugi skidded into the main lobby, eyes darting around to try and find somewhere to hide. The casino! That's it!
"You know, you're really strong for a guy who's 4 foot 10," Yami Bakura slurred, attempting to stand up.
"Looks are deceiving," Yugi muttered, as he dashed into the casino.
While it was a veritable mass of humanity, Yugi had run into a problem. Where exactly should he hide? Under a poker table?
There was a roar in the direction of the restaurant. Yugi decided to take his chances. He grabbed Yami Bakura around the waist, and dived under a nearby table.
Yugi huddled there, praying that Bob wouldn't come beat the crap out of him. He shuddered and shifted his position, accidentally stepping on someone's shoe. "Sorry," he muttered.
"Yugi?" Yami Bakura didn't sound very happy…which was nothing unnatural but never a good sign.
"Um…yeah?"
"My tummy hurts."
Aw…poor widdle tomb robber's got himself a belly ache?
/Yami, you can be vicious sometimes./
Thank you.
"Yugi?" Once again, someone else was trying to talk to him. Most likely, it was the owner of the shoe. This time, there was more incredulity in the tone than anything. And it was really familiar, too?
"Um…yes. This is he." Or was it 'This is him'? He'd never been able to figure it out.
"What are you doing down there?" He could almost hear the smirk on the speaker's face.
"Hiding from security."
Yugi could hear a smack, as if the speaker had smacked himself on the forehead. "May I ask why?"
"Uh…" Better say something… "The crazy spirit inside Bakura's Millennium Ring took over and set the kitchen on fire."
"Why am I not surprised?" the speaker muttered. "It really is the quiet ones…"
How come he's not freaked out by my response?
"You don't have any idea who this is, do you?"
"Not really," Yugi answered, with more cheerfulness than he felt.
The speaker quickly ducked under the table. The speaker had a sharp-featured face with bright, mischievous green eyes, and a spiky mass of black hair pulled back into a ponytail.
"DUKE?" Yugi yelped.
"Sssh." Duke hissed, glancing back. "People are gonna wonder what I'm doing. Are you here alone?"
At this, Yami Bakura raised his head to focus bleary, bloodshot chocolate-colored eyes on the dice player.
"Oh, hi, Bakura! How're ya doing?"
At this, Yami Bakura leaned across the floor and promptly threw up on Duke's shoes.
Tristan stood in the middle of the lobby, looking thoroughly unhappy. Téa had dashed to the bathroom, complaining of stomach problems, and Joey was moping in a chair…over either his "unfaithfulness" to Mai, or the fact that Candy was a boot camp runaway.
"Where could Yugi be?" he growled. "I want to leave now, before anything else happens."
"MY SHOES!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!"
Duke sprinted from the casino to the men's room. "Hi, Duke," Tristan greeted.
Yugi sheepishly trailed the dice player, half-dragging Yami Bakura.
Tristan eyed the pale boy. "Do I want to know what happened?"
"Not really," Yugi replied, eyes darting to the side.
"He threw up on my shoes!" Duke nearly screamed, stomping out of the bathroom.
"Said I was sorry," Yami Bakura mumbled.
"You don't mean it."
"But I apologized."
"But you didn't mean it."
"…so?"
Téa staggered out of the bathroom. "We need to get to the drugstore or something. My stomach feels horrible," she groaned.
Duke glowered. "Not you, too."
"THERE THEY ARE!" Bob burst out of the door, having just pulled Candy off. He looked rather worse for the wear, sporting a black eye and several scratch marks across his face.
"Ready to go?" Tristan chirped, slinging Yami Bakura over his shoulder.
"Let's," Téa agreed, stomach problems forgotten for the moment.
As Bob charged, Téa and Duke hauled the bawling Joey out of the chair, Tristan leading the way to the parking lot. Yugi grabbed the keys from the shocked valet, and the six teens escaped into the night.
Wow…that was a substantial amount of Joey-bashing. Sorry for that, it wasn't intentional. I felt the need to up the comedic relief, so there you go…don't worry, Joe, it'll all be okay later…
Sorry if this seemed rushed, I had a case of writer's block regarding how this chapter was to go. But it's done now! Yay!
Time for Reader Reviews!
Anime-ruthless: See, I'm continuing, and other people are reading, too! Yay! Thanks for your loyalty! It's what's keeping this going!
ElfQueen: You know I do a great job. And claps for you, because you're helping to write this!
EmeraldShadow: I know you won't. Because if you revoke my privileges, then I can't log on to the school network, thus I can't do classwork, thus I have more work to do at home, thus I have no time to write!
Sean: Yes, the Kaiba brothers are in this story. You won't meet them for a while, however, but I think I will use that line.
Next chapter: This is going to be entirely dedicated to Weird Al Yankovic, because ElfQueen and I are obsessive fans. Next stop: Albuquerque!