Whoa. Long time and NO update. Sorry, ElfQueen! But here it is, in all its glory… Ladies and gentlemen, ElfQueen86 and Crescent Venus humbly present the fourth chapter of their Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfiction as a tribute to one of the greatest recording artists in the history of man: "Weird Al" Yankovic. Al, we heart you.
Chapter 4: Albuquerque
As Yugi would mention later, it was a very, very good thing that Duke had his license. This meant that Tristan wouldn't be so grouchy all the time. It also meant that he could take a nap in the back, too.
So, whilst Duke merrily drove along and fiddled with the radio, Bakura sulked about his ferns, Téa and Joey fought or ignored each other, and Yugi counted random things. And Tristan made funny noises as he slept. But we shall not dwell upon that.
Finally, Duke managed to find a station to his liking.
"Howdy, people," the DJ drawled in a voice that sounded much like that of a Kentucky trucker. "You're listenin' to Hardcore 10-4, the sound of Albuquerque."
"Is this country music?" Yugi peered suspiciously at the radio. "I don't like country. I don't want to listen to country."
"Too bad!" Duke cheerily informed him. "Driver's choice!"
"Now, for y'all out there, we've got a real treat today. That's right; our weekly Stump the Expert trivia contest!"
"Oh, goody," Téa mumbled.
"All y'all have ta do is call in with the correct answer, and you could win a fabulous prize!"
"He sounds like Bob Barker—only scarier. And he keeps saying y'all," Téa commented.
"These contests are so stupid," Joey complained. "They ask ya really random stuff that NOBODY knows, like, what the capital of Florida is…"
"Tallahassee," Duke supplied.
"…and the prize is always something stupid, like a free facial…"
"And what's wrong with facials, may I ask?" Téa inquired frostily, giving Joey a Death Glare.
"They're girly," the blonde snorted in contempt.
"So?" Duke inquired frostily.
Joey, Téa, and Yugi stared at Duke. Duke stared at them in the rearview mirror. "What?"
Téa shook her head. "You're such a metro."
"And is there something wrong with that?"
"…and now, this week's question," the DJ continued. "What is the correct number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy's butt?"
Yugi smacked his forehead. Téa burst out laughing. "My God," she managed through her snickers, "who would honestly…"
"Hello? This is Hardcore 10-4, right?"
Joey was leaning forward earnestly, Téa's cell phone clutched to his ear, staring at the radio intensely.
The brunette looked from her empty hands (where her phone had been thirty seconds ago), to Joey, and back.
"Yer're on the air, pardner. What's yer answer?" the DJ drawled.
"One million, 283 thousand, 217." Joey bit his lip and clutched the cell phone even tighter.
Complete silence.
"Uh…well…"
"Nice try," Duke smirked.
"You're off by three…"
The car swerved violently to the right as Duke promptly collapsed onto the passenger seat.
"But close enough! You win our grand prize—a one-night stay at tha Albuquerque Holiday Inn!"
"WHOO HOO!" Joey punched the ceiling and cheered. Yugi clapped happily for Joey's good fortune. Téa rolled her eyes. Tristan threw a pillow at Joey, mumbling at him to "Keep it down, idiot."
Bakura had rushed to the front to revive Duke and attempt to prevent the vehicle from sailing horizontally off the exit ramp.
"Stay on tha line while we set y'all up!"
Téa slumped in her seat. "This does not bode well."
"You've got to be kidding me."
"Uh…no?" Joey offered.
Téa stared at the room the radio station had provided them with. "Two beds and a sofa."
Bakura patted the coverlet of the nearest bed. "Nice, huh?"
The brunette gave him an incredulous look. "There are six of us. There are only three beds."
"Very good, Téa!" Duke remarked, clapping. "You've learned to count!"
Téa's backpack made contact with Duke's face approximately ten seconds later.
Whilst the dice-player twitched in agony on the floor, Joey surveyed the room. "So yer problem is…?"
"We'll have to sleep with each other, genius." Téa rolled her eyes.
Joey and Tristan briefly eyed each other.
"I call sleeping with Téa!" Joey shouted, with an unmistakable smirk.
Five seconds later, he joined Duke on the floor.
The brunette threw her hands up in the air as she turned to the remaining three boys. "Look, divide the beds however you want; I just refuse to sleep with one of you."
Yugi blushed faintly, nodding.
The girl turned around, heading for the small bathroom. "If you need me, I'll be taking a nice hot shower. Pretending I'm not with those two in a hotel room." She jerked her thumb at the groaning lumps on the floor.
It had been a long, hard, and fairly sleepless night for the unfortunate Miss Gardner. It was decided that she would sleep on the couch, with the boys divided up among the beds. Unfortunately, the couch smelled of sauerkraut.
Téa hated sauerkraut.
When she was little, her mother had force-fed her a bowl of the stuff in the conviction that "It's good for you!" She was nearly at the point of stuffing it down the girl's mouth in a funnel when Mr. Gardner had intervened.
But to this day, Téa could not look at a bowl of the pickled cabbage without the urge to hurl it out the nearest window…or stomping it into a small pile of mush if the room didn't have one.
So, at eleven o'clock at night, she was forced to vacate the sofa, or else be forced to remove it from the room. Besides, the windows weren't big enough.
The floor wasn't too comfy, but she managed to make herself slightly comfortable. Unfortunately, she soon discovered that Joey not only snored, but also talked in his sleep. After a half-hour-long tirade about donuts and blond girls in mini-skirts, Téa was once again forced to find a new sleeping area.
Or strangle Joey. Whichever was easiest.
As a last-ditch resort, she lined the bathtub with towels, stole a pillow from one of the beds, grabbed a heap of blankets, and made a small bed. With the door locked from the inside and firmly closed, she curled up into the fetal position, and tried to gain a few hours' sleep.
It must have worked, because the next thing she knew, Bakura was banging on the door, begging to come in and use the loo.
After unlocking the door, she hid behind the shower curtain while the British boy relieved himself.
"What are you doing in here?" he innocently asked as he finished washing his hands.
She rubbed the back of her neck, which seemed to have gotten stiff. "Sleeping. Or trying to, anyway. Joey smells and the couch snores. I mean, Joey snores and the couch smells," she corrected, flustered. She laughed nervously. "I'm running on maybe four or five hours' sleep here. Don't mind me."
The pale boy laughed good-naturedly. "I know what you mean. I had to share with Duke." He suddenly scowled. "He likes to roll around. He kept smacking me in the face." Here Bakura paused thoughtfully. "And then he kicked me in the back of the knee somehow."
Téa chuckled as she pulled herself out of 'bed.' Time to hit the road…
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, 'THERE'S NO FOOD'?"
Téa and Duke stared, flabbergasted, at a nervous Tristan. He held his hands up in the universal 'don't hurt me' position.
"Apparently, no meals were included with our free room, and the hotel doesn't serve breakfast on weekdays."
Joey whimpered from where he'd collapsed upon receiving the news. "Donuts…"
Yugi sighed. "This would be our luck, huh?"
/What's wrong/
/There's no food for breakfast/, Yugi explained to Yami. /We're going to have to go out and buy something soon, because none of us have eaten for twelve hours./
A pause.
/Neener, neener, neener/
/It's NOT FUNNY! Just because YOU don't have a physical body doesn't mean you can make fun of the needs of those who DO/
/Yes, I can./
/No, you can't./
/Can too./
/Can not./
/Can so./
/Can not./
/Can too./
/Can…/
"YUGI!"
"Eh?" The short boy blinked violently, realizing the entire group was staring at him.
"See?" Duke gestured dramatically. "The hunger has already begun to cripple us. First Joey," he pointed at the mumbling prone figure, "and now Yugi! The poor kid's begun to hallucinate!"
"I was n-" Yugi cut off before he realized that explaining that he had been arguing with Yami would cause a lot more stupid, unnecessary questions that it would answer. "Never mind."
"Donut…"
"We get it, Joey!" Tristan barked. "Just hang on, already!"
Duke sighed and bent down, picking up an arm. "Let's just go. It shouldn't be that hard to find a donut shop around here."
"Kay," Tristan agreed. He turned to the others. "You wanna come with?"
"I'll stay here," Téa demurred, eying the beds. "We can…um…maybe mooch some of those chocolate mints off the maid."
"Capital idea!" Bakura exclaimed. "I'll stay, then. I do love a good mint."
"And I'll, uh, keep you company!" Yugi volunteered.
Tristan raised an eyebrow. "Fine. We shouldn't take long." He nudged Joey's body. "Duke, grab his left, I'll get the right."
The black-haired boy grunted as he attempted to pry the blonde off the carpet. "God, he's freakin' heavy! What does he eat?"
"Whatever he can get his hands on," Tristan answered as the two dragged the Duelist out of the room.
"Here we are!" Tristan announced cheerfully as he dragged Joey by his ankles. Duke pushed the door open, the bells jingling merrily to announce that yet another happy soul had come to partake in donut goodness.
Tristan carefully dragged Joey over the threshold, Duke following.
The guy behind the counter glanced up. This donut salesperson was not in a good mood today. He was in a bad mood because something very bad had happened. What had happened? We shall find out.
"Yeah, whaddya want?" he growled, folding his arms in a rather grumpy and not-so-nice-ish fashion.
"Hi!" said Tristan brightly, dropping Joey's ankles for a moment. "You guys got any glazed donuts?"
"Nah, we're out of glazed donuts." The man leaned back, squinting his eyes in a suspicious fashion. After all, the one kid had dragged a dead body into his shop, and the other was wearing leather pants. Something strange had to be going on.
"Well, you got any jelly donuts?"
"Naw, we're out of jelly donuts."
"You got any Bavarian cream-filled donuts?"
"Naw, we're out of Bavarian cream-filled donuts."
Tristan's eyebrow twitched. "You got any cinnamon rolls?"
"No, we're out of cinnamon rolls."
The brunette boy gritted his teeth. "You got any apple fritters?"
"No, we're out of apple fritters!"
Tristan's eyebrow twitched, his teeth gritted together, and he gripped the counter, stepping over Joey's legs. "You got any bear claws?"
The man behind the counter paused. "Wait a minute. I'll go check."
As he turned and left, Tristan turned back to grin at Duke. The black-clad teen was leaning against the wall, examining his nails. "Fun," he said flatly.
"Fine, then. No donuts for you."
The man returned, with a grin on his face. He carried a white bakery box in his hands. Tristan's face lit up like a small child on Christmas.
Finally! Donuts! I can hardly wait…
The man's grin turned sadistic. "No, we're out of bear claws!"
The teenager's eyes filled with tears, and his lower lip trembled. Duke sighed, and pushed himself off the wall, striding to the counter. "In that case…" he stopped, bewildered. "In that case, what do you have?"
The man showed them the box in his hands. "Well, all I got right now is this box of one dozen, starving, crazed, weasels."
Duke stared as the box twitched and squeaked.
Tristan extended his arms happily. "Okay, I'll take that."
"What is wrong with you?" Duke shrieked as the brunette paid twenty dollars for the box, and picked up Joey, dragging him out by one leg.
"Look, food's food. And I'm starving." He offered the box to Duke. "You can have some, too."
Duke wrinkled his nose. "No, thank you."
At this point, a homeless man, carrying a Styrofoam cup, wandered down the street towards the boys. Perhaps he was drawn to them because of the bakery box in their hands. Maybe he hoped he would get a donut."Excuse me, fellas," he said, stopping. "I haven't had a bite in three days. Would you…" He waved the cup suggestively.
Tristan looked at the box, and sighed. I'm hungry, but this poor guy is starving. I can wait.
He held the bakery box out to the man, who gratefully accepted it. The man lifted the box, wondering what sort of donuts the boys had bought. He blinked as he opened the lid.
"AAAAGGGGHHH!"
"Mmmm." Téa pulled the wrapper off another chocolate mint, popping it into her mouth. "This is great! Bakura, where'd you find all these?"
She was sitting with Yugi and Bakurs on one of the hotel beds, a mound of chocolate mints almost as big as Yugi in the middle. At least, the pile had been as big as Yugi…before they starting eating.
The British boy smiled shyly, eyes downcast. "Well, there was this maid's cart out in the hallway…"
Yugi leaned forward, violet eyes open wide. "So you stole them off the cart?"
"Actually, no. The maid was there. I somehow managed to…er…con her out of them."
Téa cocked an eyebrow. "This doesn't involve your yami, does it?"
Bakura repressed a shudder. "Goodness, no. You would have heard the explosion." He took a deep breath. "I actually managed to convince her that I was an actor from the Harry Potter movies."
Yugi frowned. "But none of the actors resemble you."
The pale boy shrugged. "I hinted that I played Malfoy, and she got rather excited. Then she made me sign a bath towel before I left." He paused as he unwrapped another candy. "I couldn't remember the boy's name, so I just wrote mine in very messy script. Hopefully, she won't notice."
"And hopefully, the rest of the guests at the hotel won't notice that we swiped all their mints," Téa added.
"I wouldn't worry," Yugi reassured her. "Nobody's probably noticed by now."
The large person stared at their pillow. A small indentation remained where their chocolate mint should have been. It snorted in anger, its nostril flaring.
The large person stood them self up. They would not rest until the missing chocolate mint had been found.
Tristan and Duke stared as the man screamed and lunged around the street, weasels gnawing at his face.
"AAAAUGH! Get 'em off me! Get 'em off me!"
He ran sideways into a garbage can, clawing at his face. The man managed to detach one before he picked himself off the ground, and ran down the street, screaming for help.
"He looks like a constipated wiener dog," Tristan commented.
"Oddly enough, he does," Duke agreed.
"Mmmm, these are sooo good," Téa remarked, popping another chocolate mint into her mouth.
"Normally, I wouldn't eat so many of these," Yugi agreed, "but beggars can't be choosers, I guess…"
"Hey, Bakura," said Téa, pausing her eating for a minute, "what are you doing over there?"
The pale boy turned around from where he'd been rummaging through his overnight case. "Well, you see," he began, blushing, "I heard on the radio a few days ago that a new Sea World is being built here in Albuquerque, and I was checking to make sure I had…this."
He looked left. He looked right. He looked up, then down. Finally, Bakura looked to his front, back, and diagonally. Finally, he brandished…
"A snorkel?" Yugi blinked.
"Not just ANY snorkel!" Bakura protested. "It's my lucky snorkel! It was autographed by the Queen herself!"
Téa scratched her head. "Um…hurray."
Bakura beamed. "And it glows in the dark, too!" He cupped his hands around one end, peering at it in the shadow it created. "Oooh…glowing…"
Téa shook her head and returned to her chocolates. Yugi, however, seemed flabbergasted over the idea of a Sea World in Albuquerque.
"But…Albuquerque's landlocked…"
"I'm sooo hungry," Tristan groaned, tugging Joey along by the ankles.
"I'm just as hungry as you are, but you don't hear me complaining," Duke muttered under his breath.
"Look, when you've been lugging Joey around Albuquerque by his ankles, then YOU can complain, okay?"
"Fine."
Joey drooled, his face grinding along the concrete.
"So…where are we gonna find something to eat, anyway?"
"I don't know. There don't seem to be any restaurants or grocery stores in this part of town. Weird, huh?"
"Freaky weird," Duke grumbled.
"Maybe we should just go to the nearest store and ask if they can give us directions to the nearest snack stand or something."
"All right!" Duke brightened and ran in the direction of the nearest shop, pleased by the introduction of a plan.
Tristan sighed. "I wonder where he gets the energy from…" He grabbed Joey's ankles once more, and trudged off in the direction that the short boy had gone.
The last room…the only one where the stolen mints could be…the large person smiled in triumph, nostril flaring with anticipation. Steal MY mints, will you?
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door.
"Well, now, who could that be?" Bakura asked, scratching his head.
"Maybe it's Tristan and Duke! Maybe they found food!" Yugi brightened, straightening up.
"Who is it?" Téa called.
No answer.
"Who is it?" Téa stared at the door.
"WHO IS IT?" She had now switched into 'Scary Téa' mode. Hoo boy, you do not want to be around her when she's Scary Téa…
"They're not saying anything…" Yugi mumbled. Something's not right…
"I have a sneaking suspicion…" Bakura mumbled.
Veins pulsing, Téa strode to the door and yanked it open. "Who-"
Standing before her was a big, fat hermaphrodite with a flock-of-seagulls haircut and only one nostril. And it did not look happy.
"Aw, man, I hate it when I'm right," Bakura mumbled.
"I KNEW it!" The hermaphrodite bellowed. "YOU'RE the ones stealing all the mints!" And with a war cry, it launched itself at the pile.
It was just the kind of luck Bakura had for his yami to surface at that moment. It only took Yami Bakura 3.57 seconds to process the situation (fat hermaphrodite tackling pile of chocolate) and decide upon a rational course of action (ATTACK!).
Téa and Yugi, meanwhile, flattened themselves against the wall, clinging to each other as the other two bit, kicked and punched over the pile of chocolate.
"May-maybe we should call security?" Yugi's eyes were wider than saucers by now, which would quite possibly be the size of dessert plates.
Téa, however, had a different idea. "YEAH, Bakura! You go, man! Aim for the kidneys!"
"Duke, I don't think this is the best place to ask."
"Why not?"
"Dude, take a look around. It's a calligraphy store."
"So…?"
"…Never mind."
Tristan had had a slight bit of difficulty dragging Joey through the door—his head kept getting stuck in the doorjamb—but now the group was inside the air-conditioned shop. Tristan appreciated the cool air, but he would have appreciated a soft pretzel even more by this point.
The store was, indeed, a stenciling and calligraphy hobby shop, with numerous displays set around the floor randomly. This made maneuvering around very difficult, since the unconscious Joey was the proverbial bull in the china shop. The store appeared to be nearly deserted, except for one shopper perusing various pens.
Seeing as she was female and under the age of twenty-five, Duke made an instinctive beeline for her, momentarily forgetting his ardent desire for something to eat. Slightly startled, she looked up as he stood by her side.
Duke turned on his patented 100 mega-watt smile. "Good afternoon, miss. I happen to be new in town, and in need of some assistance."
Either reassured by his friendly demeanor, or simply dazzled by his dark good looks, the girl smiled and held out her hand. "Hi. I'm Zelda. I'll be happy to hel-"
Duke took her hand and kissed it, staring dazedly at her. "Zelda…such a beautiful name…"
"Uh…" Zelda sweated nervously. He was still holding her hand and staring at her.
Tristan raised an eyebrow and shook his head. "I'm Tristan. The unconscious one is Joey, and the spaz is Duke."
"Your hair…it's the color of strained peaches…"
"Would you happen to know a place—hopefully nearby—where we could grab a bite to eat? This one," Tristan indicated Joey by shaking his leg, "passed out from hunger, and I think Duke's gone into some sort of nutrient-deprived stupor."
"Sure!" Zelda cheerfully replied, somewhat reassured by the normal-sounding guy in the trenchcoat. "But, first, get this guy off me."
Meanwhile, Yami Bakura and the hermaphrodite seemed to be evenly matched in their fierce battle. The hermaphrodite had begun by trying to yank the spirit's beloved bushy white mane out by its roots, so the latter defended himself by biting his opponent in the esophagus.
Téa and Yugi had huddled behind the couch for protection, the brunette screaming in bloodlust, and the spiky-haired boy hiding his face in his hands, praying that they wouldn't have to pay for any damages incurred by the hotel room.
At this point, the hermaphrodite had nearly chewed off Yami Bakura's left eyebrow, leaving the ancient spirit quite understandably upset. With a fierce cry, he pushed himself back, landed on the couch, and swan-dove onto his opponent, screaming the Xena battle cry. At this point, Yugi pulled Téa down to the floor with him, attempting to prevent her from being smacked in the head with any random flying objects.
As a result, Téa ended up pinning Yugi to the floor with her superior weight, noses touching, and Yugi's face as red as Joey's sister's hair. Now, despite the shrieks and crashes that marked the fierce tussle occurring in their hotel room, the situation was rather romantic…the two of them…together…faces so close… And Téa, being an opportunist, decided to make her move.
I've been too scared to admit it, but I've had a crush on Yugi for the longest time…maybe…now…
Téa leaned forward, closing her eyes. Yugi flushed even deeper red, if that was possible. Her lips got closer… Yugi closed his eyes…
A bloodcurdling scream pierced the air, and a floor lamp sailed across the room to crash near the sofa. Yugi yelped and bolted upward, violently smacking his forehead against Téa's.
As the two groaned and massaged their aching foreheads, Bakura—or Yami Bakura, it was hard to tell—was screaming bloody murder and throwing things. Quite normal, really, but with a hermaphrodite thrown in, anything was possible.
Steeling his nerve, Yugi peeked around the corner of the sofa. The intruder was gone, one bed was broken, along with most of the furniture, and Yami Bakura was hopping up and down, screaming, and trying to rip the phone out of the wall to throw it.
He turned back to Téa. "It's safe now, you can come out."
"What happened?" Téa blinked as she crawled out from behind the sofa.
"He TOOK IT!" Yami Bakura screamed, dark brown eyes ready to explode. His mood quickly 180'ed, though, and he collapsed onto the remains of the bedframe in tears. Bakura surfaced, wailing like his puppy had been run over.
"He g-got awaaaay with it!" he sniffled.
"With what?" Téa asked, a bit gentler than before.
"M-m-my SNOOOOOORRKKKKELLLLLL!" Bakura sobbed.
Yugi patted Bakura on the shoulder, wondering if all British people were just crazy, or just this one.
And once again, Yami Bakura surfaced, hair sticking out more wildly than before, and eyes glinting with murderous intent. "I WILL NOT rest," he swore, hopping onto the broken headboard to strike a dramatic pose, "until the one-nostrilled man….thing…is brought to justice."
The others clapped.
And with this, Yami Bakura leapt off the bed, and made a dash to the elevators, leaving Yugi and Téa to follow.
Zelda led the way down the street; nervously conscious of the group she was leading. Duke was still slathering over her good looks, and Tristan was following, nonchalance written across his features as he casually strolled along, with an unconscious Joey slung over one shoulder.
"I can take you to my work," Zelda offered. "It's my lunch break, and the cafeteria should still be open."
"That would be simply delightful," Duke purred.
Tristan smacked Duke in the back of the head. "We'd appreciate it very much," he stated simply as Duke stopped drooling over Zelda long enough to rub the back of his head.
"So…where do you work, anyway?"
Chocolate is not very nutritious for you. It provides you with only a small amount of energy. So if you've eaten a small amount of chocolate, you'll get an even smaller amount of energy.
Thanks to these basic principles, Bakura, Yugi, and Téa ran out of steam a few streets away from the hotel. After managing to pry themselves off the sidewalk, the trio made its way to the nearest park bench.
"But where did he go?" Yugi mused. "The desk clerk saw him leave the hotel…"
"Who…huff…knows," Téa panted. "He could…puff…be anywhere by now."
"Snorkel…" Bakura whimpered.
"Okay, Yugi, think," the small teen mumbled to himself. "If I was a snorkel, where would I be?"
/Snor…kel/
/Never mind. I'll explain later./
/That's what you always say…/
"Well, obviously somewhere with water," Téa was saying as Yugi closed the mind link to Yami. "But where would you find a body of water around here, besides the municipal pool?"
In a twist of irony (because the world is extremely ironic), the three tired teenagers looked up. And looming in front of them, majestic in its still-uncompleted, opening-on July 15th, -fun-for-all-ages grandeur was…
"Sea World!" Bakura cried happily, clasping his hands.
"That was convenient," Yugi remarked. "Maybe Bakura's snorkel is in there."
"But it's still under construction," Téa pointed out. "It isn't even open to the general public yet. Why would the snorkel thief by in there?"
Bakura, however, had not been listening to Téa's logic, and launched himself at the building.
Yugi and Téa sweatdropped as they watched Bakura break through the doors like they were balsa wood. "I guess that's our cue to follow."
"But why are they building a Sea World in Albuquerque, of all places?" Tristan asked as they followed Zelda to the personnel-only area.
Zelda shrugged. "Why not?" She grinned at the startled look on Tristan's face. "Well, it's going to be the first in a bigger, nation-wide chain. It's our goal," she recited from the staff meeting on Wednesday, "to have a Sea World in every state of the Union, so the nation's children may become acquainted with marine life."
"It sounds vaguely wrong," Tristan mumbled, as he pushed open the door to pull Joey through.
"A fridge!" Duke cried dramatically.
"NO!" Zelda shrieked. "Don't open that! That's for the…"
By this time, a starving Duke and Tristan had discovered several buckets of raw fish, and were trying to consume them in their extreme hunger.
"…for the animals…"
Our intrepid snorkel hunters gaped as they traipsed through the uncompleted structures in the park. Various staff members were milling around, frantically trying to finish the park's completion. Thankfully, nobody stopped the teens to ask why they were trespassing, or to call security.
"Where do we look first, I wonder?" Bakura mused.
Splashing noises were coming from a large, amphitheater-like structure to their left. Yugi turned to look at Téa. Téa turned to look at Bakura. Bakura was trying to figure out where they were on the map.
Sighing in frustration, Téa grabbed both boys by the collar, and dragged them off in the direction of the building, Yugi nearly dangling off the ground.
Upon entering the building, they gaped. It was an amphitheater, and one that surrounded a very familiar-looking pool. Yugi frowned for a moment, trying to place it in his mind…
With spectacular timing, a massive killer whale leaped out of the water. The three screamed, and clutched onto each other.
"Never fear! It is I, protector of the ocean and friend of all who dwell in it!"
Yugi blinked. "Is Shamu talking to us?"
Téa coughed. "Uh, no. Look at the guy riding on Shamu."
"Oh."
True enough, standing on top of the killer whale, scuba gear and harpoon in hand (and to Téa's secret delight, only wearing his swim trunks), stood none other than the famous Ocean Duelist Mako Tsunami.
What he was doing in the killer whale tank was a complete mystery to our three intrepid friends, but it was suddenly deemed unimportant. What they really wanted to know was if he'd seen Bakura's snorkel.
"I was asked to become an employee here, and I gratefully complied, Mako told them proudly, waving the harpoon in his hand around to compliment his words. "So Shamu-" here he nearly beheaded Bakura "-and I are training together." He beamed at them.
"That's nice, I'm sure," Yugi stammered, trying to edge away from the harpoon-swinging duelist. "But what we're really here to look for is…"
"HEY YOU GUYS!"
"What now?" Téa grumbled.
Tristan and Duke were running towards them from one of the buildings, dragging a yellow-and-blue lump with them. The four standing by the whale tank waited as the two boys caught up. As they keeled over, panting, Yugi grinned. "You guys found your way back! Great! …and why are you dragging Joey?"
"Long story. We're still looking for food," Tristan groaned. "We ran into some girl at the calligraphy store, but that turned out to be a bust."
"Yeah," Duke grinned, "she sure di-"
At this remark, Téa picked up Joey's limp arm and began smacking Duke with it.
Before anyone could restrain Téa—or pick up Joey's other arm to smack Duke with—Zelda came running out of the building that the boys had so recently vacated. Her pretty face was dark with anger.
"You ruined the food for the sea lions!" she shrieked. "Now I have to go all the way to Roswell for more fish!"
"Can't you just go in town?" Bakura asked, confused.
"No, you dolt!" Zelda shrieked. "There ARE no supermarkets in Albuquerque!"
The group face-faulted at this astounding revelation. "Then why did we waste so much time looking for food?" Tristan muttered. At this, everyone glared at Bakura.
Zelda, however, was more interested in Mako. "You were playing with Shamu again, WEREN'T you?" she accused.
Mako's head drooped as he stared at his feet. "Yes," he mumbled, ashamed.
"That is IT, Tsunami! First it was eating the fish on display, then it was trying to make the seal play a trumpet…you're FIRED!" Zelda paused for a moment, and then turned to the left. "SECURITY!"
In approximately 3.245 and a half seconds, two large, beefy-looking lifeguards popped up on either side of Zelda. She said, sweetly, "Nathaniel?" (as the one on his right cracked his knuckles), "Superfly?" (the one on the left did the same). "Please escort Mr. Tsunami and his friends off the premises."
Mako briefly considered using his harpoon to fend them off, but was jerked away by a madly stampeding Yugi, Téa, Bakura, Duke, and Tristan, who was carrying Joey.
If Mako had known what he was getting into, he probably would have saved himself a lot of trouble and just sliced his limbs off with a chainsaw.
18 pages! How the heck did I end up with an 18-page tribute to Weird Al's song "Albuquerque"? (scratches head)
I'll try to continue this during the summer—writing this just isn't as much fun during the school year.
To try and go through the entire chapter and point out each detail would be incredibly OCD-esque, so I won't.
Reader Review ResponseElfQueen86: Now you can stop yelling at me. Your favorite chapter is here!
Ed: Thanks! Sorry it took so long, though.
Omega19x: Trust me, the convention is going to be wild. Come on: Yami Yugi, Yami Bakura, Kaiba AND Pegasus all under one roof? Chaos, man. Pure and utter chaos.
Next chapter: On the road again…and it's onward to Iowa…as long as they steer clear of cows and bikers…