Trouble Magnet
by Adalanta
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, but this scene is. Hah! Finally! Something of my own!
Author's Note: This story takes place near the end of the episode "Colonial Day." Okay, has anyone else besides me noticed how much trouble Lee always seems to get into every time he leaves the Galactica? Well, that observation led me to conclude that surely someone else must have noticed that, too, and who better to see it than Kara? This is my first attempt at humor (notice the word "attempt") so I'm a bit nervous. Please, take a second to leave a review and let me know what you think. Thanks!
Trouble Magnet
The Raptor flight from Cloud 9 back to Galactica was long and quiet.
Too quiet.
The political conference onboard the Luxury Liner was finally over. Disaster had been averted – again. He should have felt relaxed…or at the very least relieved.
But he wasn't. Instead he felt uncomfortable and uneasy, almost nervous. And the reason for that was sitting right next to him in the co-pilot's seat. None other than Lieutenant Kara Thrace.
"Will you stop staring at me!" the frustrated words finally burst out as he reached the end of his patience.
"No."
The calm, simple reply was maddening, and it took all the self-control he possessed not to swear aloud. Instead, he settled for gritting his teeth and asking, "Why not?" in a tight voice.
"Because I'm thinking," she said vaguely.
He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, taking in her narrowed gaze and the stubborn look on her face. Alright, he decided, sighing mentally. If you want to play it like that… "About what?"
"You."
Well, that makes sense considering you've been staring at me nonstop for the last fifteen minutes! he thought sarcastically, barely resisting the childish urge to roll his eyes. "What about me?"
"I'm trying to decide how someone who is so 'by-the-book' and obsessed with following orders can attract so much trouble."
Lee's head automatically jerked to his right to stare, slack-jawed, at his best friend. "W-what?" he eventually stammered, too stunned by Kara's words to come up with anything more intelligent.
"I'm serious, Lee! I swear, you're like some kind of trouble magnet! Every time you leave Galactica for another ship, you get hurt!" Kara met his stare with one of her own.
"That's not true," he protested, breaking the stare and refocusing his gaze back through the cockpit of the Raptor.
"Oh, it's not, is it?" she said, her voice coated thickly with sarcasm. "Okay, let's start at the beginning, shall we? First, you were picked up by Colonial One after your run-in with the Cylons. While onboard, you were knocked unconscious by the electromagnetic pulse that you created. Right?"
Hmmm, forgot about that one. He reluctantly nodded. "Right."
"Then, when you were aboard the Astral Queen, you were attacked, beaten, and then held hostage for several hours until yours truly," here she stopped to point to herself, "came to rescue you."
Here he disagreed. "You didn't have to rescue me, Kara." He didn't try to hide the hint of anger that bled through into his words. "I was doing fine on my own." In all honesty, he had been a little relieved to see her, although he still firmly believed he could have brought the hostage standoff to a peaceful end. Well, almost peaceful, he amended, his mind flashing back to the violent, psychotic prisoner he'd shot and killed. He didn't feel badly about what he'd done – the man had already shot Cally and would have killed her if he hadn't intervened.
There was a brief pause in his friend's tirade as she considered his words. "Okay, I'll give you that one. But that doesn't change the fact that you were beaten up and held hostage," she added quickly.
"Fine," he said shortly.
"And today on Cloud 9 you managed to get into a bar brawl where you got hit over the head with a beer bottle and nearly choked to death," she concluded, a smug smile spreading across her face. "Admit it, Lee. You're jinxed."
Making a few minor course corrections, he took the time to consider her argument and had to admit that everything she'd said was factually true. He had been injured on all three ships – and not long after he'd arrived on them, either. Can that really be true? Am I jinxed? Cursed? Swallowing hard, he thought about all that had happened to him over the last couple of months, all the pain – physical and mental – that he'd endured…
And then it hit him. It was so simple and obvious that he nearly laughed out loud.
Turning to Kara, he very calmly and deliberately announced, "You're right, Kara. I am jinxed…" He paused a split second for effect before finishing, "and it's all your fault."
Now it was his friend's turn to look shocked – a look that he personally loved and rarely saw. Her jaw dropped. "What are you –" Shaking her blond head, she snorted softly in disbelief. "Oh, come on. You can't blame me for this! You're the one getting into trouble – not me!"
"Exactly!" He said triumphantly.
She narrowed her gaze suspiciously. "And what does that mean?"
"Think about it, Kara," he grinned, blue eyes sparkling with mischief. "When did my bad luck start?"
"After the Cylons attacked," she replied, confusion coloring her voice. "When the war started."
"Right. And what happened before that?"
"Before that?" she paused, frowning as she thought back to that day. "I don't know. Lee Adama, what are you talking about?"
"I went to see you…in the Brig…" His voice trailed off, waiting for her to continue where he'd left off. She remained silent, her frown deepening. "You'd just gotten thrown into the Brig for striking a superior officer, Kara! For Lords' sakes, you should have been court-martialed, but did that happen? NO! Because somehow, some way, you managed to transfer all of your bad luck to me when I went to see you!"
Kara stared at him, wide-eyed with disbelief. "Okay, Lee, you've officially lost it! You've taken one too many blows to the head!"
"I'm serious, Kara! Think about it for a minute. What happened?" He gestured towards her in the co-pilot's seat. "You got released from the Brig, charges dropped, flight status fully restored. No repercussions whatsoever!" He laughed once as he gestured towards himself. "And what happened to me, the person who hadn't even had a rough landing in the last two years? I nearly get killed three times – and that's just in the first twenty-four hours! I've lost track of how many times since then!" He stopped to take a deep breath, only belatedly realizing how loud his voice had risen as the complete and utter silence rang around him.
"Wow." Kara's voice sounded hushed. "I…um…wow," she stammered after a short pause, looking at him with raised eyebrows. "You really need a break, Lee. A long one. Several days, at least."
"Yeah," he muttered, turning away from her, "like that's going to happen."
"Listen to me, Lee," she replied, having heard his rebellious remark. "I mean it. You've been running yourself ragged working as both the CAG and the President's military liaison. As far as I know, you haven't even taken a day off since this whole thing began. Well, have you?" He remained stubbornly silent, refusing to admit that she was right. After a brief pause, she sighed and went on. "You need to take a break. The squadron can survive without you for a few days, you know. I'll keep an eye on things for you while you're off."
"Oh, that's reassuring." The sarcastic remark earned him a new bruise as Kara reached over and whacked him hard in the upper arm. "Hey!"
She smirked at his offended tone. "Serves you right. Here I am, trying to do you a favor, and you practically laugh in my face at my all-too-generous offer." Shaking her head, the blond pilot sighed heavily once more. "When we get back to Galactica, you and I are going to sit down, take a close look at the flight schedule, and rearrange it so you can have some time off." Kara paused to clear her throat. "I just have one request."
"Really?" He glanced over at her, curiosity getting the better of him. "And what's that?"
"Whatever you do, don't leave the ship."
THE END