-3-

I woke up feelin' like the whole fucking Kutou army was trampin' through my head, and wondered how much saké I musta had to be feelin' this shitty.

Then I remembered.

"Aw, fuck," I groaned, and was just about to sit up and have a look around wherever-the-hell-I-was, when I felt this hand on my shoulder, real gentle and careful.

"Tasuki? Are you awake?"

Gahhh, it was Tama. I didn't know whether to be glad I wasn't in this thing alone, or pissed as hell that of everybody in the whole fucking country, it had to be Tama who got kidnapped by slave traders along with me.

I scowled and opened my eyes. "Whaddya fucking think?"

When I tried to sit up, the guy actually put his goddamn arm around my back to help me—and lemme tell ya, I woulda tore him a fucking new one over that one…only it turned out that I really needed the help, 'cause my stomach was bigger'n ever and my back was achin' almost as bad as my head. I felt like shit, and if that wasn't bad enough, the floor was rocking and tossing under us, makin' it pretty damned clear just where we were.

We were on a fucking boat.

A boat. In the water. In really fucking deep water, prob'ley miles and miles away from the coast so there was nothin' around us but water, nothin' anywhere but water…

I clapped a hand over my mouth, all of a sudden feelin' like I was gonna be sick.

And fucking Tama got away from me as quick as he fucking could, the shithead. Sure, stick right by me 'til it looks like I'm gonna puke, then get the hell away and leave me all by my—

But before I was even through cussin' him out, he was back, settin' this heavy bucket down beside me, then helpin' me lean over it like I was some fucking weakling or something. Asshole.

But thank Suzaku, the sick feeling passed without me havin' to throw up, and I leaned back against the wall, wantin' to close my eyes and go back to sleep but knowing I couldn't. I mean, goin' to sleep wasn't gonna change a damn thing, and how the hell was I supposed to get us outta this if I was lyin' around like a damn rock, huh?

I looked around. We were in this grimy little cell with bars for a door and nothin' in the way of furniture but some straw and a couple a' boxes and barrels.

"Real fucking cozy," I muttered.

Tama sat up a little straighter. "I'm going to get us out of this," he told me, lookin' all determined and shit. "The next time one of them comes in with food or water, I'll attack him, and then we'll steal a lifeboat and—"

"Yeah, 'cause your last plan worked out so fucking well," I growled. "Anyway, that's a stupid-ass plan, 'cause it's just what they're gonna expect. They'll prob'ley have a whole bunch'a guards outside or somethin', and then we'll get caught and stuffed right back in here, only this time they won't give us any food or water!"

Tama looked kinda deflated, and I almost—almost—felt bad for trashin' his idea. But it really was a stupid-ass plan, and hell if I was gonna go along with it just so I wouldn't hurt his precious goddamn feelings!

"Look," I said, rubbin' my eyes, "this isn't gonna be easy, no matter what we do. Even if we can get outta this cell, I ain't exactly fit for a quick get-away, if ya know what I mean. …and you are not fucking carrying me, so get that look off yer face!"

Tama closed his mouth. "Fine," he said after a second. "What do you think we should do, then?"

"Iunno. Lemme think for a second." I tried to shift my position a little, 'cause the truth was that I was really fucking uncomfortable, but it seemed like no matter how I sat, it didn't help. "Shit," I muttered, "how do women put up with this?" I shifted again, cussing some more under my breath, and when I looked up again, Tama was wrestlin' his arms outta his shirt. The fuck was he doin'? Next thing I knew, he was leanin' in towards me, all flesh and muscle with his shirt in his hands.

"Y-Ya know," I managed, "just 'cause I got all the right parts now don't mean I'm all of a sudden interested in guys!"

Tama looked pretty surprised for a second, and then he got this weird look in his eyes and leaned closer, so close that I could feel his breath against my face. "But aren't you always saying how much you hate girls?" he asked me in this low, silky voice, an' my heart was suddenly goin' about a mile a minute, 'cause shit, he just kept leanin' in closer an' if I knew what was good for me, I'd move the hell outta the way or hit him or somethin', but hell if I could move a muscle…

At the last second, he changed direction, leaned around me, and tucked his balled up shirt behind my back like a cushion.

"Baka," he said, an' I could feel my face gettin' red. "I was just trying to make you a little more comfortable. Just because you have the right parts now doesn't mean I'm interested." He stopped then, his eyes gettin' all wide, an' I knew it'd just hit him what that meant, me havin' the right parts.

Before he could say anything, though, I grabbed his shirt from behind me and threw it at him. "YEAH, ARRIGHT, SO I'M A FUCKING GIRL!" I hollered. "How the hell do ya think I could have a fucking baby inside a' me if I wasn't, huh?"

I rubbed a hand over my face, wipin' away the tears that were suddenly there.

"Shit," I managed after a second, "it ain't like I'm really a girl. It's just a fucking spell. Right? Changed my body all around, but I'm still the fucking same. I'm still Tasuki. I'm still…me, I just…aw, fuck, Tama, put the goddamn hanky away. I'm fine."

He just kept holdin' it out, though, so after a second, I snatched the thing away from him and blew my nose into it.

"It's okay if you feel emotional," Tama said, usin' this real soft, gentle voice I'd only ever heard him use with Miaka. "It's normal. Before my mother had Yuiren, she was crying all the time, and having mood swings, and craving strange foods. It's normal."

I held my arms out to my sides. "Does this look fucking normal to you? I'm a freak of nature, for fuck's sake, and all 'cause a' that stupid fucking sorceress, that stupid woman. Shit, if she was sittin' right in front'a me, I'd burn her to a fucking crisp! What the hell was she thinkin', doin' this ta me? What'd I ever do ta her? She asked my fucking opinion! What the hell was I s'posed ta do, lie to her? If she didn't wanna know what I thought, she shouldn't a' fucking asked me!"

For awhile after that, neither of us said anything, me snifflin' and Tama workin' on gettin' his shirt buttoned up. After a couple a' minutes, I started feelin' a little bit more in control of myself, so I wiped my face one last time and tossed the hanky back at Tama. He caught it and tucked it back into his pocket, even though it was all soggy with snot and tears.

He was still lookin' at me like he thought I was gonna fall to pieces any second, the shithead. Meanwhile, I was wishin' real bad for some saké, but since that wasn't gonna happen, I figured I'd better go with Plan B: change the damn subject to somethin' a little less uncomfortable. I cleared my throat. "So, uh, Yuiren… She the little one?"

Tama opened his mouth like he was gonna answer, then stopped with a frown on his face.

It was about then that I remembered—shit, Tama didn't know I'd ever met his family. I opened my mouth to try to cover it up with somethin' lame like "Nuriko told me," but Tama figured it out before I could.

"You were with them, weren't you?" he asked me quietly. "When Miaka took Mitsukake to heal my father."

I looked down, for some reason havin' trouble meetin' his eyes. Iunfucking know why, 'cause it ain't like I did somethin' wrong just by bein' in his fuckin' house while he was off in Kutou gettin' all evil and shit. "Yeah," I said, then got over whatever-the-hell-it-was and met his eyes. "So yer pretty close to your little sister, huh? Seemed like the kid didn't shut up about ya the whole time we were there."

Tama got this soft smile on his face, like somethin' had made him real happy, and closed his eyes for a second. "Yeah, we're really close."

"I got sisters too," I said in a dark voice. "It ain't no fucking picnic, I'll tell ya that."

"Yuiren isn't so much like a sister to me as a daughter," Tama said, an' for once I had the good sense to keep my mouth shut and just listen. "My mother died giving birth to her, so I'm the one who raised her. She calls me 'Big Brother' in front of all the other kids, but when we're alone, sometimes she…she calls me 'Papa.'"

Iunno if it was all the fucking girly parts in me or what, but somethin' about that really got me. I could feel myself gettin' all choked up again, so I cleared my throat and figured I'd try for another subject change—but before I could, there was this janglin' sound from the door. I turned around just as the bars swung open and this big, bored-lookin' guy leaned in and set down a tray of food.

It was right about then that I realized I was fucking starving.

I started crawlin' over to the tray, hopin' I wasn't about to send Tama into a major Miaka Flashback with all the eatin' I was about to do…but just as I got to the tray, I realized the guard was still standin' there, lookin' down at me. I wasn't wearin' nothin' special, now, understand—just my usual clothes, though of course they were hangin' kinda different on me now: my shirt didn't quite cover all a' my big-ass belly, an' my chest was a little bigger. Not much, don't get me wrong—just a little. Truth was, I really didn't look all that different, or that much more like a girl—I looked like I usually did, 'cept with a little more padding in some places.

But the asshole guard was lookin' at me like I was a fuckin' harem girl or somethin', and before I knew it, he'd grabbed me by the arm, dragged me out into the hallway, and slammed the cell door shut behind us.

"I don't care what the boss says," he said, gettin' his nasty-ass face all up in mine. "I think you're a good-looking girl." He laughed, an' the spray of foul breath just about made me gag. "And even if you weren't, there's some places where it don't make a difference, if ya know what I mean."

I could hear Tama rattlin' the bars, yellin' stuff at the guy, but I was glad he couldn't do anything.

That left this asshole all to me.

I swung my arm back, all ready to slam it into his gut…but he musta felt me tensin' up, 'cause he grabbed my wrist before I could hit him and twisted it around behind my back. I let him know what I thought about him an' his mother after that, but he just laughed and twisted my arm some more. It felt like he was about to fucking rip it off, but hell if I was gonna let him know how much it hurt. Shit, no. I bit down on my lip, tryin' hard to think of somethin' to do an' kinda wishin' that maybe Tama wasn't on the other side a' the bars, 'cause it woulda been nice to have some help right about then.

"You can go ahead and scream if you want," the bastard whispered in my ear. "Everybody else is ashore gettin' supplies, so there ain't nobody around to hear."

He had me twisted around so my back was pressed up against him, an' while I was tryin' to struggle outta his grip, he got his filthy fucking hand under my shirt and ran it up my side. I just about threw up, havin' him feel me up like that, but I don't think he woulda cared if I had. He was lovin' it, the sick fucker—I could feel him pushin' against the back of my leg, all hard and eager—and that was when I realized, with this cold, dead feeling in my chest, just exactly where this was goin'. What he wanted to do to me.

I ain't naïve. I know there's some bastards out there who'll do whatever they want to whoever they want…but goddammit, they were never s'posed to be able to do it to me!

I struggled harder, tryin' to wrestle outta his hands or at least get turned around enough to hit him, but the guy was too strong and I didn't have the maneuverability I used to. I managed to get a kick in, slammin' my foot into his kneecap—but that was when the knife came out. He stuck it right up against my throat, so close to the skin I had to try not to breathe too hard or risk gettin' cut.

Everything got kinda slow for a minute.

While I'd been strugglin' with the bastard, we'd somehow got turned around so now I was facin' back towards the cell. I could see Tama standin' there behind the bars, lookin' about as sick as I felt, even sicker 'cause he knew he couldn't do a damn thing to help me. I could see it in his eyes, how bad he wanted to tear right through those bars and come to my rescue, but the things were fucking iron, and so of course he couldn't get through.

So he was gonna hafta watch.

"That's a good girl," the bastard purred, still talkin' right inta my ear so his voice was way too loud. "You behave, or I'll cut that baby outta your belly and have him for dinner—you got me, sweetheart?"

"Yeah," I managed, "I gotcha. But hey," I went on, not caring that my voice was shakin' like crazy, "if we got the whole fucking ship, whaddya say we find a better spot than this, huh? Y-Ya don't wanna get an ass full a' splinters, right?"

Tama's eyes widened, but I gave him a look that said shut the fuck up! and he didn't say anything. But yeah, he knew exactly what I was doin' and why I was doin' it. But too damn bad! There was no fucking way I was gonna make him watch this.

Besides, maybe if we got someplace else, there'd be a weapon lying around somewhere—or maybe the bastard'd trip on the stairs and I'd be able to overpower him, or…or somethin'…

But he wasn't goin' for it. Instead a' answerin' me, he grabbed me by the neck and threw me onto the floor. I landed on my back so hard the wind got knocked outta me, and before I could catch my breath he was on top of me, pinnin' my wrists up over my head and holdin' my legs down with his knees.

"Oh, fuck," I whispered.

"Not gonna scream, huh?" And then before I could turn away, he slammed his mouth down into mine, forcin' his tongue past my lips and rammin' it so deep into my mouth that I gagged. "That's okay, sweetheart. I like a challenge."

And that was when something exploded.

Little chunks of metal went flyin' everywhere, stirrin' up this big cloud of dust and debris, and all of a sudden it was like there was a fuckin' tornado in the ship or somethin'—wind roarin' around us, knockin' the bastard off a' me with a howl that mighta been pain…

Once the smoke cleared a little, I lifted my head…and my mouth just about dropped open. The bars to the cell were gone. Looked like somebody'd fuckin' blown 'em apart. All that was left of 'em were these jagged little bits still stuck to the floor and ceiling; everything else was in pieces on the floor. That sight was nothin', though, compared to what was comin' through the doorway.

It was Tama, only like I'd never seen him before. Wind blowin' around him, whippin' his clothes around and blowin' his hair straight up in their air. His seishi symbol wasn't just glowin' but on fire, glarin' out from his forehead so bright I had to squint against it. His eyes were barely human, and there was so much hatred and fury in them that for the first time ever, I was actually scared of him, of the power he could get a hold of.

…and then just as quick as it'd come, the wind died down, the symbol faded away, and Tama was just Tama again. He came over to me and held out his hand, an' I was so shaken up that I could only stare at it.

"Come on," he said, an' he sounded pretty shaken up himself. "You heard him—everyone's off the ship, so we must be docked somewhere. If we're going to escape, now's the time to do it."

I glanced behind me, wantin' to say somethin' smart to that bastard before we left…but he was layin' there on his back, his blood soakin' into the floor, a piece of iron the size of a sword stuck through his chest.

I shivered. Then I took Tama's hand and let him pull me to my feet.

We got the hell outta there, Tama pullin' me down the hallway after him, me doin' the best I could walkin' on legs that didn't wanna stop shaking. We were just about to the steps that led to the deck when we passed this little room with a lantern sittin' in it. Just like our cell, there was hay all over the floor, an' before I even thought it through, I let go of Tama's hand and went inside.

"Take this, ya bastards," I whispered, and shoved the lantern off the table. It hit the floor with a crash of breakin' glass, an' pretty soon the hay was smokin' and crackling with fire.

"Tasuki, come on!" Tama said, an' before I could even turn around, he grabbed my hand again and we were back to our quick get-away. By the time we got off the ship, the smoke was trickling up into the sky in this long, thin stream, an' Tama was still holdin' tight onto my hand.

To Be Continued…

Notes:

As ever, big thanks and boxes of chocolate to the reviewers: aderine no miko, Everqueen, Grand Lethal, Emmi-chan, Skittles1, fluffy-sama's worshiper, Mrs. Tasuki, a.k.a. Arashi, roku kyu, x Belles Reminisce, and Whitney-chan2005. I really appreciate you taking the time to review!

Thanks, also, to the faithful beta-readers of this chapter, Roku Kyu and Purple Mouse, whose insightful comments were invaluable to the editing process.

And now, stay tuned for a sneak peek of Chapter Four, to be posted next Monday, May 9th!

Chapter Four: Could Be Worse…

"Tasuki," he said in a soft voice, an' even though he was starin' at the road an' not at me, I was still havin' trouble lookin' at him, an' was almost…scared of what might come outta his mouth next.

"I think," he said slowly, "that this time away from Miaka is a good thing."

Huh?

"Huh?"

Shunyata Ryuen