Chapter 8

This is what was happening outside the hospital room after Angel and Cordy left.

"We should talk Cordy." Angel said after a few seconds of uncomfortable silence.

"What's there to talk about?" Cordy asked in such a harsh tone that it made Angel almost flinch. And you know how tough Angel is. The people closest always seem to be able to cut deepest though.

"You know." Angel said simply, having gotten over the whole almost flinching incident. Cordy sighed heavily. Angel couldn't tell whether this was because of her knowing and not wanting to talk or her not knowing and being annoyed at the fact that he should know that she didn't know. Trying to get his mind around all of the possibilities was making his head spin. But that usually happened in these kinds of situations. But Angel pretty much knew that it was a 'knowing and not wanting to talk' sigh. Call it male intuitiveness (contradiction there). Actually no, call it Angel intuitiveness.

"Alright then. Fine. Let's talk."

"I'm sorry, I really am sorry that we can't be together." Angel started and then motioned for Cordy to talk. She glared at him,

"What is this? You say something then I say something to that?" Angel shifted uncomfortably indicating that that was exactly what he was planning. Cordy continued,

"Well, I don't know what to say Angel. Of course I should've guessed that this was coming. You not being able to... Well, it being impossible for us to be together. But I thought that you'd at least do it with some style."

"I'm sorry Cordy, it's just that if we get involved before you know it we'll be in too deep and we'll want what we obviously can't have and you have no idea how hard that is and how much pain it can bring up and I know it hurts now but it'll end up hurting even more and…" Angel had actually, for once in his unnaturally long undead life, babbled. Must've caught it from Fred, or he could've just learned it from Willow and this was just on of those classic babbling moments. Or maybe he was a closet babbler and he just couldn't help himself in this particular babbling moment. Cordelia cut him off.

"But of course you would know all about that because of Buffy. Right?" Angel looked distinctly uncomfortable and slouched into himself even further. Obviously her words had cut into him more than even she could know.

"Please Cordelia." With those two words, coupled with Angel's pleading puppy dog look (you have to admit that that look is pretty powerful), Cordelia finally softened (I mean who wouldn't?). Angel continued on with such passion that no one would be able to disbelieve him,

"I love you so much, you have to know that." Angel said, meaning every words, and Cordelia knew that. Cordy couldn't help but smile despite herself.

"I know." Smiling was apparently catching as Angel felt the ends of his mouth twitch in an upward direction. Okay, more than just twitch. Despite the fact that she hadn't said 'I love you too' he still felt the urge to grin like an idiot. So he just continued instead of standing there grinning like an idiot.

"And if I'm meant to get my soul secured. Then that's what the Powers are going to make sure is going to happen. So all we have to do is wait." He said. Cordy's eyes got to the stage were they were about as soft as they could get. Angel moved closer to Cordy and continued softly with the whole big brown eyes package,

"Are we in love?" Once again Cordy couldn't help but smile and even let out a breath from pure joy.

"We are." Then, despite what Angel had said before they still moved closer together. Angel reached down and cupped Cordy's cheek in one of his big hands. She looked up at him with her own big brown eyes and he swooped down and captured her lips with his. When they separated Cordy smiled slightly before saying,

"So now I know how much those heart wrenching speeches are worth." Angel smiled down at her.

"You make me forget everything else. You're the only thing that matters." Cordy's smile brightened and was about to reach up for another kiss until she heard the long beep that was coming from the hospital room holding Russ and Fred that they had just vacated. Cordy looked at Angel to find her own fear mirrored on his face. Then, once again they shared the same thought.

Angel and Cordy burst into the room at the sound of the constant beep and saw Fred lying with her head on his chest.

"Ah love you Russ."

Cordy stood there and felt a coldness sweep over her. She couldn't believe it, while she and Angel were sucking face Russ was in here dying. She felt tears spring to her eyes and wished she could ask for forgiveness from Russ. Then, in an instant the coldness disappeared and she felt as if she'd been granted forgiveness from her dead friend. She closed her eyes in thanks.

Meanwhile Angel was feeling the guilt. It spread through him like a wildfire. As he looked at Fred with her lying on Russ' chest he felt as if he'd betrayed Russ in some way. As if him fixing up his own romantic life outside was only guaranteeing the death of Russ' inside the room. He knew that this was one more life that he'd managed to ruin. It brought back memories of back in the Day. He closed his eyes, grieving Russ' leaving.

Whilst this was going through Angel and Cordy's respective heads Fred had her own thoughts to process. Like her sadness and the tears that were rolling slowly down her cheeks. All she could feel was her love for the man whose chest she was lying on and the fact that maybe if she'd been more open to opening herself to him, to let herself feel her love for him then he wouldn't be dead. This was all her fault. As she thought that a new bout of sobs racked her body.

And that wasn't the only thing which racked her body. It was also racked with guilt. A deep guilt which cut so deep that not even five years in a hell dimension could reach that deep. Like I said before, the people closest always seem to cut the deepest. And right now Fred could say that she'd been cut so deep that there would be no way she could heal. Well, there was one way. And the chances of it aren't very promising but then Fred was lucky enough to have this once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing happen to her.

After all of these things happened the monitor next to Russ seemed to blow a fuse and Russ began to shake violently. Fred backed away slowly, mesmerised and terrified at the same time. Then Russ's back arched against the bed and his eyes and mouth opened to have blinding white light come out of both of them. Angel, Cordy and Fred all backed against the wall. Fred, for once, was the one closest to Russ and looked on with less fear than the others in her eyes.

The white light last for a second and whilst it did scars and bruises on Russ' face shrank away. After his whole body set itself right Russ collapsed back onto the bed. All three humans (okay, two humans and one vampire) began approaching him until Russ sat up like a Jack in the Box. Cordy actually jumped, Angel was reminded of how Darla woke up after being revamped by Drusilla and Fred just smiled radiantly.

Fred was the first to approach Russ who turned to look at her almost mechanically. Then his limbs seemed to lose all mechanistic features as he saw her and smiled slowly and said softly,

"I love you too." Fred then launched herself at him and they kissed with burning need and more passion than seemed safe. When they finally separated slowly Cordy went in annoying information gatherer mode. (Hey this sounds like she's a reporter! Joking, sorry to all you reporters out there.)

"How did you regenerate? I thought that you didn't have enough energy." Cordy asked (and then said). Russ shifted his eyes to Cordy and proceeded to explain what he'd figured out so far.

"I'm guessing Fred had something to do with it. I'm guessing love had something to do with it really." Then he lifted the shirt he was wearing to show his taut, slight six-pack stomach. He pointed to an area left of the six pack and said,

"You see, I used to have a scar that went from the bottom of my ribs to my waist that, no matter how many times I regenerated, never went away. I just couldn't regenerate enough, because it was pretty deep. But now I'm in a whole new body. A brand new body. All thanks to Fred." Fred blushed at all of the credit (some of it was also probably form the previous lifting of the shirt) and said,

"Aw, it was nothing." But Russ would have none of it. And Fred knew that it was a whole lot more than nothing. Just minutes before she was feeling guilt so deep. All three of them were and now it was all gone, it had all disappeared because Fred had said three simple words. In the past those three words had proved difficult for many people and possibly that was why they were the three magic words. But all Fred knew was that in mere seconds she'd gone from incredibly sad and guilty to happy and proud of herself. The transformations we go through.

"It was my life Fred." He said gently and took her hand in the two of his own. Their eyes connected and Fred knew that she could never love anyone else as much as she loved Russ at this moment. After a few seconds Russ chuckled to himself and looked away from Fred. Obviously a private thought.

"What?" Fred asked. Russ looked back at her and replied,

"I can't believe that the Powers That Be have watched Moulin Rouge." That was simply too cryptic for Cordy to pass up and she jumped in, right on cue.

"The PTB have seen Moulin Rouge? As in Moulin Rouge the movie?" Cordy asked, practically bursting from curiosity. Angel, however, was absolutely lost and so was Fred, considering the fact that she was in Pylea at the time Moulin Rouge was released.

"Yeah, they said that I would get my power when I learned something that I would discover was the best thing in the world. And, as you and I know, the main philosophy of Moulin Rouge was…" Cordy finished it off for Russ.

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return."