Heaven's Gate: Moments In Time

Birthday Wishes and Christmas Kisses

The morning of Bosco's fifty-seventh birthday arrived with a blast of freezing rain that made the icicles on the trees look glassy, like bright diamonds hanging precariously from their cold brown branches. All around our yard, the hardened snow glistened from being tormented by the stinging pellets. After the rain had stopped, however, and the sun peaked out from behind the clouds, everything sparkled and looked crisp and quite pleasing to the eye.

I had awakened early when I had heard the sweet morning cry of my precious Little Faith. I lay there for a moment listening to the sound of her babbling and various noises that children of that age made. I smiled as I thought about all of the time that we had to look forward to in the next few days. Time that would be spent with our family. All of us around the Christmas tree, opening gifts and laughing and catching up on old and new gossip.

I rolled over on my side and faced my second husband, who was peacefully sleeping on his back. Oh, how the years had flown by. The years since we had met each other at the Police Academy, the days and hours and minutes, like sand through the hour glass, had all flown by until we found ourselves in our retirement years. I thought about all of the times that Bosco had been by my side, encouraging me, helping me, loving me. I reached over and traced my finger tip across his beautifully shaped lips, teasingly. He didn't even flinch. He could sleep through a hurricane, while I could wake up to the sound of a pin drop on a cushioned carpet floor. Fifty-seven. My Bosco was fifty-seven years old today.

I had truly found a piece of heaven in his arms. Never before had I had such passion for a man, such love it made my heart both sing and then ache at the thought that someday I would have to live without him as I had to learn to live without Emily and Charlie. It had been a long road for the two of us, long but filled with the kind of love that takes years to develop. I didn't know how I had ever been so lucky to have found someone like him. What would I ever do when he was gone?

I pushed those dark thoughts away as I heard my name being called by Little Faith in the next room. I pushed back my covers and scooted out of bed and threw on my robe. After rearranging the covers over Bosco I quietly slipped out of the room and closed the door.

I opened the door to Emma's old room where she and Rob always stayed when they were home. After our granddaughter was born Bosco had taken on the task of redecorating the entire room to be a nursery for his 'other' princess. He wanted a place that would be suitable for both Little Faith and for Emma for when they came and stayed with us. The room was painted a light pink with a darker pink boarder. It was almost twice as large as Mikey and Brett's rooms were, but they had never minded that. The king-sized bed was made of cherry wood, with oversized posts that supported a white canopy of heavy lace. It had a matching pink comforter and throw pillows. The dressers were also cherry wood, dark and shiny, complete with silver frames on top displaying pictures of Emma and Little Faith when they were in their various stages of development. Everything had been redecorated to suit our daughter's tastes. Even the baby's crib had matching bedding along with a beautiful mobile of Noah's Ark hanging over the top. Emma had been completely excited when Bosco had showed it to her for the first time, the love and pride he had for her very obvious in his voice as he lead her around by the hand. He had also decorated the crib area with a small desk and chair set for Little Faith for when she was older.

I quicky stepped into the room and plucked my girl out of her crib and held her to me and kissed her cheeks. " You want to go downstairs with gramma and have some breakfast?" I cooed to her. She giggled and snuggled her warm body close to mine.

A princess she was, complete with her dark hair and sparkling eyes and sweet disposition. Very seldom did we see her in anything but a dress. I could tell that she was surely going to be like her mother, who at the age of three did not want to wear any clothes unless it was a dress and she always, always had to carry a purse. A very precocious child, she was only a year old and was already talking. Her hair had grown to the base of her neck and it was thicker than I'd ever seen on any other baby. She'd laugh and clap her plump little hands together and say ' gapa' over and over again. It was her name for Bosco. She spent a great deal of time with Bosco and myself, as Emma and Rob were both working full time and trying to find time for each other. We loved having her close to us where we could spend full days and evenings with our granddaughter. It also was a blessing because it meant that we got to see our daughter on a regular basis.

Emma and Rob and Little Faith had arrived about one a.m. They had been to visit Rob's parents and had ended up staying later than expected when Rob's little sister, Angi, had surprised them with a visit. Angi had been in Somalia with her boyfriend for the last six months and hadn't told anyone that they were coming home. From the few minutes that I had spoken to them I got the impression that the visit had gone well.

As I started out of the room, a sleepy voice came from underneath the covers of the pink duvet.

" Thanks for getting her mom."

" You're welcome honey. You just rest and Little Faith and I will go have some breakfast...won't we? Yes we will." I said and made some funny faces at my granddaughter. She giggled and reached up and grabbed a fist full of hair in her hands. I shut the door and proceeded downstairs.

I was almost to the kitchen when I heard Brett talking rather loudly. He was angry and there was no mistaking the tone of voice he used.

" I'm not saying that! Don't put words in my mouth! What else do you expect?" Came his cross voice. Oh, he sounded like me when he was angry; his voice tight and wound, as if he would come apart if he had to say another word.

Silence. I guessed he was using the phone. I started closer, but walked as quietly as I could. I wondered if this had anything to do with Carly.and the secret relationship that I knew they shared. There hadn't seemed to be anything wrong between them when they were here together the night before, but I knew that both of them were very private people and they probably wouldn't have said anything to me anyway.

" What do you want me to tell them then?" He asked in a tired, defeated way. I peaked around the corner and caught a glimpse of my third son leaning over the kitchen sink, his free hand running through his short blond hair. He was standing there in nothing but his boxer shorts, his hard body muscled and sculpted. He didn't even work out and he was still stunning. That had always made Mikey a little cross, for Mikey had to work out every day to attain the body he had.

He seemed to listen for an eternity, bowing his head and cradling it in the palm of his large hand. He shook his head slowly back and forth, as if to deny what he was hearing.

" Alright then, I won't tell them, but they're my parents and they love you. What would they think if they knew..."

He was about to say whatever it was that they were fighting over and right at that very moment, fate swooped in decided to make me sneeze. It was loud and harsh and there was no way to disguise it. Little Faith laughed loudly. I stepped into the kitchen, knowing that I was discovered and casually walked over to the high-chair.

Brett turned around quicky, his eyes widened with shock and surprise at my sudden entry. A glimmer of fear passed through his features before he hurriedly told whoever was on the phone that he'd call them later.

He set the cordless down on the counter top and crossed his arms over his shapely chest, his blue eyes ablaze. " Mom! Were you trying to listen in on my conversation? Havn't you learned by now?" He snapped angrily. It was the harshest tone he had ever taken with me.

Hurt by his tone, I set the baby in the high-chair, my back to him. I didn't want him to see my eyes betray my mouth. " No. I was coming down here to give the baby her breakfast. I didn't know you were in here until I saw you Brett." I said softly.

Instantly he was sorry. I turned around and looked at him, fear growing in the pit of my stomach, wondering what he was so upset about. I still worried about my son and I couldn't help myself.

" I'm sorry, mom. I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did..." His voice trailed off, obviously wanting to say more, needing to say more but didn't know where to begin.

I walked over to him and gave him a hug. " It's ok baby. Is there anything you want to talk about?"

He smiled at me in a tight amused way and shook his head. " You never stop wanting to know every detail of my life do you"? And before I could answer he put his hand up. " It's ok. I don't blame you for it. But this is something I have to get through by myself". He said softly, pointedly. I stood there and stared at him. " Ok. Just remember that I'm always here for you if you need me."

He kissed me briefly on the cheek and started towards Little Faith, whom he hadn't seen since she was born. He scooped her up from her high-chair and lavished kisses on her small cheeks. He held her to him and squeezed tightly. " How's my baby girl? Did you miss your Uncle Brett?" He cooed at her.

I busied myself by putting on a pot of coffee and mixing the baby cereal for Little Faith. I couldn't help but wonder what turn of events would lead me into knowing the truth about what was going on with my third son. He wasn't going to talk about it no matter what I said, so like the fool I often was, I decided that he would tell me in his own time, not realizing that sooner or later I'd wish that I had never inquired at all.