The Enemy

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Chapter ten – Special ones.

Kirra:

It was late in the evening before I was finally given a few hours to myself and since I wanted nothing more then to relax, and hopefully purge these strange images of Karena from my mind, especially after what she had done to father, I opted to go to my room to meditate.

Meditation of course required that you clear your mind of everything, letting no part of your day to day life, intrude. It wasn't easy to do for stray thoughts would often creep in and almost demand attention, but such stray thoughts had to be swept clear.

However I was used to the requirement of meditation but every once in a while even when I was deep in the meditation process an image would come up.

These images were not quite like the ones I had of Karena, for those images were very clear. While the images I had during meditation were never that clear or defined in any particular way. I would have a sense of certain beings around me and I could feel what their relationship was to me but these beings came more in a strong feeling of emotion or colour, like an aura.

I often wondered if these meditation images ought to be banned from my mind like the common thought of what I had to do yet in the day, but I had learned that they never lasted all that long but trying to banish them completely was almost impossible. It was often better to let these meditation images play themselves out, for once they had done so I could concentrate on true enlightenment.

So tonight when they came sneaking in, I almost welcomed it and as I had in the past I was willing to let the image play itself through.

I saw myself as a young child, very small crawling on the floor and I had a feeling that the young me was looking for one of the special ones. The younger self knew that there was two special ones in her life but she was looking for a specific one.

The one with the soft voice and soft body, the one who had the long thing that chased after him, which was so much fun to grab and yank on.

Suddenly I saw him, and this was what was truly strange, because for once I really could see him. It wasn't just a sense or a feeling of emotion, it was really him!

He had brown fur, which covered his entire body and that was what made him so soft, the fur was shaded some lighter areas, some darker, with a lighter underbelly, he had dark brown eyes and long whiskers on a pointed nose, and a long skinny hairless tail. He wore a battered faded robe about his thin body.

With seeing him so clearly I was able to think of his name even before my child self spoke it in the image that played on.

" Spiner."

He pulled me onto his lap and I stood on chubby legs, bouncing slightly in his arms and on his legs as I hugged him. I saw him say something but I couldn't hear what he said. It was lost in a low murmur. However I did feel the warmth love and tenderness in his quiet soothing voice and I knew it was part of what made him so special to me.

" Spiner" the child said again.

Then I felt the other special one in my life draw near and I turned on Spiner's lap to see him.

Only thing was I couldn't see him, except for the usual way, the feeling of emotion that came with him.

The feeling I got from him was a bright orange glow of love laughter and happiness. He brought joy with him like the sun itself when it made an appearance after weeks of rain and dreariness. He was special to me because he was…

I had to think about that. He was what…he was…Daddy!

With that revelation the image and my brief stint of trying to meditate vanished as if it was ninja trained. For once I wanted to bring the image back, probe at it, dig at it, try to find the answers that eluded me. Try to find out more of what I had seen.

If I had seen Spiner why not daddy?

Who was daddy?

I jerked my eyes open and exhaled a large breath, knowing any chance of meditating was well and truly gone now I tried to puzzle over the image itself.

Spiner, could he possibly have been a lab animal much as myself?

Was this a memory of my time in the lab? Could someone as young, as I had appeared to be in that image, I'd swear I was an infant judging from what the image had revealed of my younger self, be capable of remembering such an event later?

I had no doubts the image had shown a younger me, I had no doubt on that count, I just wasn't sure if it was possible for a child under the age of one to remember such an event. Perhaps the image was a fake, like the images with Karena were false.

I had a feeling the one I thought of as daddy, was not the man I called father. Father was not warm and happy, not the way I knew daddy could be. Nor was daddy Spiner, for it was obvious to me, that the two were separate beings.

That made me consider the fact that daddy might have been one of the scientist in the lab, a person who might have treated me with a bit more empathy then the others had and I might have called or thought of him as a father to me.

There was something about daddy, Spiner and my past that I felt I really ought to know but I had nothing to go on, except for the scant information father had given me over the years about my past.

Of course, father could only tell me, what he himself knew or was aware of and he probably hadn't worried about too much beyond the fact he had seen I shouldn't be living in those sort of conditions so took it on himself to adopt me and give me the best he had to offer. My past wouldn't concern or worry him in any way.

I knew it shouldn't worry me either, it was the present and future that was far more important as a ninja I fully accepted that fact, but I couldn't help but wonder about what my life was like before the lab, or if I had always lived in the lab. I had so many questions about my early life and no matter how I tried I didn't seem able to put them to rest.

I knew that even if there had been someone I related to quite well in the lab, didn't mean my father was aware of him, or what became of him.

Nor could I doubt father's story for I knew he couldn't, he wouldn't lie to me. I trusted him and he had no reason to lie.

I smiled a little in actuality if daddy really existed he might be happy that father had gotten me out of that horrible lab because father was able to do so much more for me then daddy ever could of.

I was free of the lab, I had travelled to various parts in the world, I was well educated and I had grown to be a powerful kunoichi. What more could I ask for?

Something from deep inside of me whispered, But are you loved?

Father loved me. I knew he didn't always show it, or say it. He was by no means demonstrative with his affections but there was many ways of showing and expressing love, and I knew that he did love me in his own way.

Again that whispered voice rising from some dark nether world within Are you sure? True he can make use of you, and he most certainly has made use of you and your skills. How often have you killed for him? Do you really think he cares for you, or do you think he might secretly hate you because you are like them?

I scowled and shook my head to clear those doubts from my mind. Of course father loved me, and he cared about me or he would never have stepped in to release me from the lab where I had suffered so greatly.

I realized that I had almost betrayed my father in the longings to know more about Spiner and the being called daddy.

I was ungrateful to question my father or his reasoning, I didn't need proof of how much he cared about me. It was enough to know that he did care. That he loved me in his own way.

Hadn't father told me that, I, of all the Foot at his command or disposal would be the leader of the Foot clan. As a leader he had taught me to never show weakness or rely on others, to stand on my own two feet.

He boasted of my skill and ability I often heard him, and he knew that he could trust me with his secrets for I would never betray him, I was loyal and obedient to him.

How could I ever betray the one man who had done so much for me? I owed him my life, my freedom and so much more. It was an honour and a pleasure to serve him or do a few simple tasks that he needed done, and I felt that it was small payment for all he had invested into me over the years.

I knew that I often felt like questioning him or became irritated at his often brisk indifferent way, or how sometime he treated me so much like a child but at the same time I knew that if I was to be all he expected of me, if I was to be what I should be, I would play the role of the dutiful daughter accepting whatever he gave.

I knew I failed him.

I took a deep breath and silently vowed that I would try harder to prove my worth to him. I would not fail him or let him down because he had never really let me down.

Daddy didn't matter to me. Daddy, if he existed, was a part of my forgotten past and the past was not important. Father was the one who mattered, father had been the one who had been there when I needed him.

Wasn't being there a form of love in and of itself? I was pretty sure it was.

Yes, I realized where I had been wrong and I was determined to bury my forgotten past once and for all and move on. I would prove my love to father in ways that he would appreciate and, he would know I was truly everything he wanted me to be.

Father was the only important and special one in my life, these images true or false, had no real connection to who I was now or who I was going to be in the future so I pushed them aside.

TBC

Lunar Ninja: I see you and your dragon friends have found The Enemy. Hang on tight because Rama is slowly going come to her senses one way or another. As for next chapter we have a wonderful cliffy that will have you ready to sic your dragons on me. After all in the original story I was called an evil author and the devil for what I do in chapter 11! So don't miss it cause I know how you love your cliffies girl! A gratitude for all your insights.

Reinbeauchaser: Yes Yukio's game playing gets more intense and strategic every time you turn around and poor Rama/Kirra is really caught up in the mess. Next chapter is the one that you might have some problems with just keep in mind what I told Rama when I wrote the story in the first place. There will be light eventually. Look at the list I sent you if it helps. Yes such a pity that so many parents lose their children in more ways then one.

A gratitude for your insight.