"This sucks. I can't even eat comfort food right," I said as I stumbled into my bedroom after throwing up in my bathroom.

"Don't say that," Heather said. Thank god she was still there.

"Do you know any other person who throws up after eating supposed comfort food?" I asked her. She stood there in mock-thought for a moment.

"Hmmm, let's think," Heather said. "Yeah! My best girl friend in college threw up after every time she had comfort food. Well, she threw up after every meal, I don't think that counts."

"Thanks for the support, Heather," I said flopping on my bed. "You are a true friend." I looked over at Heather, who flopped down next to me.

"Look, I throw up after eating too much comfort food. It's good though. It's like getting the pain out of your system," Heather said. "It's good to get it out." I looked at her with a skeptical look. "What?" she asked. "All I'm saying is that it's like getting Jamie out. Let it all out." At that moment, I had to get something out right away. I covered my mouth and ran to the bathroom again. Heather followed me and held my hair back. After that little, err… episode, we laid down on my bed again.

"Is it weird that I miss him, I'm angry at him and I'm happy this happened all at the same time?" I asked Heather.

"No, you're just going through the stages," Heather said with a shrug.

"The stages?" I asked sitting up on my elbows.

"You don't know the stages?" Heather asked me getting up on her elbows as well.

"Uh…no. Should I?" I asked.

"Yeah," Heather said. "Ok, these are The Five Stages to Getting Over a Guy. Stage 1: Shock/ Disbelief. This is usually when you first hear about it. For you, it was crying and asking him to stay. Stage 2: Anger/Sadness. This comes pretty quickly after Stage 1. This is when you eat your comfort food and cry. Then, five minutes later, you'll be so angry, you'll swear off men forever. Are you with me on this?"

"Yeah," I said, trying to absorb all of this.

"Okay, Stage 3: Wanting to a) Get him back or b) Get over him. This is when you don't know if you just want to be with him again or just want this whole process to be over," Heather continued. "Stage 4: Loneliness. In this stage you don't exactly miss the person, but you miss the idea of being in a relationship. You know what I mean, right?"

"And Stage 5?" I asked.

"That I'll tell you when you get there," Heather said with a smile. "So now I think you're at a Modified Stage 2. You miss him (AKA sadness), you are anger at him and you're happy…why the hell are you happy?" Heather said.

"Well, I mean, at least it happened now before anything permanent happened, like a baby or a marriage," I said.

"I think you've already done the marriage thing with Jamie, and that didn't work out terribly well," Heather responded. "And you practically adopted Lisa, so really, you already had permanent."

"Thanks for making me feel better," I said lying back down.

"You've got to be brutally honest with yourself in Stage 2. How do you ever expect to get to Stage 3 if you always feel angry and sad?" Heather asked me.

"Stage 3 doesn't sound so peachy right now. I think I'd rather stay in Stage 2," I said curling into a ball.

"Nobody can live in Stage 2," Heather said. "Trust me. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt."

"Where are you in the stages?" I asked. "With Richard, I mean."

"Stage 3 ½," Heather replied easily.

"There's 3 ½? You never told me about a 3 ½!" I shouted.

"Well, it isn't a real stage. I mean, I almost just miss the idea of Richard, but sometimes I want him back. I don't really know where I am. So I guess I'm in Stage 3 ½," Heather said. "Don't worry, it's a very rare stage. First time I've been here. It ain't much better than Stage 3, so don't get excited."

"Trust me, I'm not," I said. "You like me right?"

"Hey, who was just holding your hair out of the way of your puke?" Heather said with a smile.

"Well then why doesn't Jamie like me?" I asked.

"I think he does, that's why he left," Heather said.

"Well that makes sense," I said sarcastically.

"No, it's like if you love something, you'll set it free," Heather said wisely.

"I wasn't trapped, though," I replied.

"Not trapped yet. I think Jamie realized he had been here before. He didn't want to lead you down the same road and get hurt and left in Ohio," Heather said.

"I haven't done a tour in ages, " I said.

"You know what I mean," Heather said. "He loved you, but he knew he would eventually hurt you. He decided he didn't want to drag you along for another terrible ride and frankly, I agree with him."

"I thought you said we already had permanent," I said, "So I shouldn't be happy."

"I said don't be happy because someone broke up with you, Cathy," my friend said. "But you can be…relieved. Just think of it as a burden off your shoulders."

"What happened to being 'brutal honest' in Stage 2?" I asked Heather.

"There's a time to be brutal," Heather said after a moment of thought, "and maybe there's a time to be gentle."

"Can I have a hug while you're being gentle?" I asked.

"Of course," Heather said and gave me a big hug and held me for a long time.

(Thanks for the reviews! This one is longer, like I promised. What stage is Jamie in? Please review!)