David Hendbound imprisoned and tortured anybody who got in his way until they did it his way. Unless you were doing it his way, you had to stay in hiding to stay out of jail. That's where I was now with my wife and child. We had two rooms. The bigger room two cots on it and a blanket. One cot for my wife and I and the blanket served as a cradle for our one year old daughter. The room also had a kitchen, or what could be called a kitchen. We had a portable mini stove. The smaller room was our bathroom. One side was the toilet and the other had a barrel in which we bathed. This is my home and has been for the past two months. We have friends who pretend to be on the other side and give us food.
Sometimes, as I get my new food, I feel very World War Two. Sometimes, I feel like breaking out and actually seeing the sun again and feeling its rays on my skin. I feel like going up to David Hendbound and telling him how many people are in misery for his happiness. Sometimes I pity Hendbound. He had no meaning in his life besides this crusade of his. He will eventually be overthrown like his father, and then what will his life be? Assuming that the rebels don't kill him on the spot but keep him in jail or something, what will his life be to him then? Will he consider everything a waste and regret all he had done to harm people? Or will he not regret a thing and try to take over again and again?
I stopped writing at this sentence. Again and again. Cathy wanted to try again and again because she had faith in us. I had no faith whatsoever. Why bother? Why try for something that was obviously doomed? Why was my character Hendbound so much like Cathy? Why was I basing my evil character on Cathy? She is anything by evil, she is…hopeful.
Perhaps David Hendbound isn't evil, just hopeful. He hopes that by doing what he is doing he will achieve happiness. He is risking everything, literally everything, to get even an ounce of happiness. Maybe that's just me being a good person and trying to find the good in everyone. Hendbound seems to find happiness and joy in the torturing of other people. There is no good in that man.
But Cathy is good. I know she is. Suddenly I was stuck. I couldn't write anymore. I decided to go to Jake's apartment. Whenever I was stuck, my editor could help. Besides, I was in dire need of a shower.
I walked over to Jake's apartment and showed him what I had. Jake read it over while I showered. When I came out Jake said, "This is fucking awesome."
"Thanks, Jake," I said.
"No, seriously, Jamie, this is good shit," Jake said.
"But still shit, yeah, I get it," I said. "I knew it wasn't that great."
"Man, good shit is good! You should know that by now, Jamie," Jake said. "This says best-seller all over it! This is your comeback series!"
"Whoa, series? Jake you know how I feel about series," I said. "I won't do them. I get bored with the characters too easily and then they lose their personality. It would just be money lost, not gained."
"Jamie, as your editor, I demand you to turn this into a series!" Jake said.
"You can't do that, Jake," I said.
"I can't?" Jake asked.
"No, you can't. You can only edit what I write. If I don't write a series, then you can't edit it," I said. "Does that make sense?"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah all right already," Jake said. "Hey, where's the little bundle of joy I always curse in front of?"
"If you mean my daughter Lisa," I said, "she's with her mother."
"Why is she with that bitch?" Jake asked.
"Because that bitch gave birth to her?" I said.
"Oh, sure, use logic," Jake said. "Way to mess with my head, man! You know math isn't my best subject."
"I'm not even going to try to argue with that," I responded. "Look, Jake, can I hang here for a while?"
"Homeless?" Jake asked.
"For the moment, yes," I said.
"What happened to what-her-face with the nice ass?" Jake asked.
"Cathy?" I asked. "We broke up."
"Oh, so it's not that your homeless," Jake joked, "You're girlfriend-less."
"Can I stay here for a while?" I asked again.
"Sure, I've mooched off of you enough," Jake said. "You can have the couch."
"Thanks," I said. "I'm just going to sit and write for a while, okay?"
"Sure, Jamie, sure," Jake said. "I've got to get some food in here now that I've got a guest. You sit and write." I nodded and began writing again.
"Honey?" my wife Tina said.
"Yes?" I replied.
"I've been thinking. I mean, I want Amy to grow up and have a good life," Tina said, "I just don't think I can give her a good life if we're in hiding."
"Are you saying to want to follow the brutal orders of Hendbound?" I asked.
"I'm saying that coming out saying we've seen the light and if we pretend to do all that and Amy get have friends," Tina said. "She could go to a school, a good school. I want something better than this for my baby."
"I don't want Amy to think she has to change who she is to be accepted," I said. "You were a teacher. We'll be teaching her not only math and English, but how to stand up for her opinions."
"I hardly think when she's 5 years old and lonely she'll think, 'At least I'm standing up for my opinions. Here's a plus, I get to sleep on a blanket.' How hard will it be to pretend?" Tina asked. "We'll still be for the right cause. We'll bring food to other people. I just don't want to be the other people."
"You don't want to be a charity case, is that it?" I asked. "All this talk about you want a better life for Amy. Bull, Tina, that's bull. You always hated people doing things for you. You want to be independent and I love you for it. But you have to realize that in this situation we need other people's help."
"Not if we were out there! We could be free again! Free! No more hiding or taking a bath once a week, if we're lucky. Free, honey, free!" my wife said with such a fire of passion I had never seen before. It was amazing how energized someone could get about something so impossible.
Impossible. Never can happen. It won't work. Unattainable. Unfeasible. Cathy.
(Thanks for the continuous reviews! Is this book Jamie's way of wallowing? What does Cathy think of the book, or as much as she has? Please Review!)