The Enemy

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Chapter Sixteen – True Or False?

Kirra:

The strange images continued to come. I tried to ignore them and push them aside but it didn't seem to work.

If this was a ninja mind trick it was very elaborate and I was starting to have my doubts over how such a thing could be planted in me, by the enemies. I was so much on guard and in reality we hardly spoke to one another, so the idea of it being a mind trick made very little sense.

I didn't get much sleep the night before, it was starting to be a habit going on very little sleep, under normal circumstances the lack of sleep alone would not be that bad, but with what seemed to be a constant barrage of images, on top of the fact I needed to have all my wits about me when dealing with our enemies, well I sort of knew that I was sliding downhill in my capacity to do my job correctly.

I managed to drag myself through the day, doing what was expected of me, running far more on automatic pilot then any thing but I was grateful for the day end when I finally slipped into my room and into bed, exhausted mentally and physically all I wanted was to sleep.

My head had been aching, pounding and throbbing through out the whole day and it wasn't about to let up even now in the darkness of my room. I longed for some sort of relief, as I rubbed my temples, so far everything I had tried to ease the persistent ache hadn't even touched the pain.

I closed my eyes groaning miserably and saw a large grassy field with dark low bushes in it, the warm sun was beating down and my younger self was busy picking fat, juicy berries off the bushes and cramming them into her berry stained mouth.

Michaelangelo was nearby also picking berries, which he dropped into a bucket that he carried, I sidled up next to him and my fingers tried to dip into the bucket.

Suddenly my fingers were rapped ever so gently " Get your fingers out of there girl" Mike scolded.

I looked up at him " Good berries daddy."

" Yeah but if you want me to make a treat out of them" he explained patiently giving a small shake of his head.

" What kind treats?" I wondered.

" Oh I don't know Rama a cake, or pie, maybe tarts or muffins. I could do all kinds of things with these berries if you would only stay out of them."

" I want pies and tarts," I decided.

" Then start putting berries in the bucket and not in your mouth" Mike spoke sternly but he laughed as if to ease the harshness of his words.

The image faded and I breathed heavily, I must have quite the imagination, I told myself, for the turtles only lived in New York City, and one could not find such a large open place, as that field had been, where we had been picking the sweet fruits. It looked far more like what one would find on a farm.

Then again even the Foot were aware that the turtles would disappear from time to time for certain periods, they would seem to disappear off the face of the Earth for weeks or moths, and the Foot would search to find nothing. Then it was assumed the turtles had either died or moved away living the city to us. It wasn't to be though, for the turtles always returned.

Perhaps this field was in farm country a place where the turtles could recover from injuries or relax for a time, perhaps it was a type of home away from home, but their call to duty, to honour meant that they returned to battle us and keep us from achieving our goals.

Before I could puzzle it out though there was another image that came over me.

" Rama come see what I have for you?" Sang out Mike's voice.

I was only a toddler but I went running to him catching sight of him and the things he held in his hands, they were so brightly coloured they caught my eye.

"Preey" I squealed.

" These are flowers Rama. Here smell this red one" Mike offered a red flower.

I inhaled and the smell was intoxicating fragrant and rich, the petals felt so soft and fine under my fingers.

" It is a rose Rama. This white one is a daisy."

" Where git floer daddy? Where find rose?" I demanded.

" Topside Rama flowers need sun and rain to grow. But you can't go topside it isn't safe for you." He grinned a bit, " Every once in a while though I can bring a bit of topside to you." He vowed.

Topside was a word that I heard often, even then, topside I knew was where people lived, it was where food came from and when Dad and my uncles wanted to go topside during the day they always put on long coats and pulled on a hat.

Another image came almost instantly this one showed a dark room.

I was sitting huddled on the floor wounds covered my arms and legs. I felt so hungry and so thirsty. I was crying.

" Daddy, Karena? Help me please I want to go home" I sniffed wiping my beak with the backside of an arm " I'll be a good girl daddy. I won't break topside rule to see Jessie no more. I promise daddy I be good" I sobbed even harder " Just get me away from bad ninja."

The image faded under the assault of my head's brutal pounding, which had intensified since I'd come in to my room.

Topside rule, what sort of ridiculousness was that? I scoffed to myself. It made no sense but some part buried deep inside me seemed to know what it was for it replied almost instantly.

No going topside.

But Jessie had been topside.

Great, I thought, so who is Jessie?

Then it dawned on me that I knew exactly who Jessie was, it had been one of the images I had gotten the other day, the one with me in the hooded sweatshirt playing with the boy.

I pushed and probed at my mind seeking more information and was surprised at how easy it seemed to come to me.

Jessie had been my friend, he couldn't talk properly and the two of us would get together to play almost every day. I had trouble moving the manhole cover up but because it was so heavy I never placed it back down securely, that way I could return home when our visit was over. Lifting the lid up wasn't as bad as trying to pick a manhole up off the hole itself.

My head throbbed quickly and I stopped closing my eyes and sighing heavily as I relaxed into my pillow unwilling to do any more digging at the moment.

The ninja that had come that day must have captured me and sold me to the lab where father had found me.

But something about that theory just didn't make sense to me, I had a feeling that was how I had ended up in the lab but I had a hunch that something wasn't quite true. I mean why would ninja sell me to a research lab?

Maybe because you were the ninjas enemies and they felt it would get rid of you. A voice whispered from somewhere in my tortured brain.

I supposed that was possible, far more believable at the very least and it gave credence to all the other images of me being part of the turtle's family.

Except the building silhouettes in the first image I had of Jessie was of New York City and the only Ninja clan that I knew, even operated in New York was the Foot Clan and father had been the leader for years, far longer then I had been alive.

Father would not sell me to a lab just to free me from it at a later date, so these images just had to be false.

The voice from in my brain whispered back, at least it was considerate enough to whisper. You are so sure are you? All that depth, the feeling it brings up, all of that is false. Just because you believe your father hasn't lied to you.

Father has no reason to lie to me. I defended quickly.

True, unless he didn't want you knowing who you truly are.

I snorted, so what? What if, I had been, at some point in my life a part of the turtle's family? Lets say, for the sake of argument, that these images that kept coming were true and I was Michaelangelo's daughter.

The turtle's hadn't come for me, they had left me in the lab to rot, to be tortured or killed. They didn't care enough to try and get me back they just preserved their own hides. They had given up on me first. Now they expected the fact that I had once been one of them to buy my loyalty.

If father had been capable of finding me, then surely my family could have, if they had really wanted to.

Obviously I didn't matter to them.

If they cared so little for me, why should I feel anything for them?

Now that is a very good question, but considering the fact it was Foot Soldiers who took you from the rooftop wouldn't the man you call father, have a far better idea where to find you?

I slammed my fists down onto my bed in a sudden burst of rage and frustration, for I was right back at square one again.

It didn't make sense for father to lie about my beginnings. The feelings, no matter what feelings these images brought up, just couldn't be true.

Again the voice whispered, Unless your father is lying to you.

For what reason, to what point, or advantage would the lie give him?

He didn't want you to know you had a family out there. You know what he is like. Remember in the prison hold the other day, the look your father gave to Michaelangelo when he said the words ' I wouldn't let a child of mine fall into enemy hands.

I recalled father's look and tone it had been as if he was mocking the turtle, and Michaelangelo had taken the bait.

I shook my head in denial. No, No, NO! It couldn't be true and yet somehow it seemed possible. My father had no reason to lie to me, I told myself firmly but that didn't still the voice or stop the doubt from trying to creep in.

Your father does know the truth. He just prefers to keep it well hidden from you. He wants you to hurt them. You know that it is true. It is just you rather go on believing what ever Yukio told you to believe.

You are wrong!

"The turtles are not my family, I was found in a lab and father found me and…" I insisted repeating what I knew to be true of my past, like some mantra used for seeking peace or enlightenment during meditation.

That's it keep repeating those lies to yourself, maybe one day you will fully accept them as the truth. The inner voice mocked me.

" It is true. I know it is" I almost yelled those words into the silence of my bedroom.

You are a powerful Kunoichi trained for espionage, why not use those skills and search your father's private rooms for any proof of your past. He must have something hidden about who you truly are. The voice urged.

The very thought caused me to tremble in fear, it was an insane desperate notion.

" You know what father would do to me. If he caught me going through his personal stuff I'd have the worst lesson of my life. He might even kill me, there are faster ways of committing seppuku." I moaned, " I can't! I won't!"

Well there are two types of trouble in this world Ramiela, the type you get caught at and the type that you don't. So just make sure that you don't get caught.

Those words sounded very familiar to me, as if I had heard them at some point in my life before. I also found it rather odd to know my inner voice called me by the name Ramiela not Kirra.

I shook my head, I just couldn't do that to father. There was no way I would betray him like that, not after all he had done for me against a few faulty memories. It just wasn't worth it.

Then get one of the turtles to confirm. Michaelangelo…

" Is a liar and can't be trusted!" I snapped sharply.

Look either your father or Mike is lying. They both can't be telling the truth. He mentioned your cat Baka before you had the memory of the cat. Maybe you need to question him about things you have seen to see if he can confirm any of it. The voice suggested, Since it is obvious you are too scared to go against your father, the least you can do is search for proof through Mike.

There was no need to betray father or to doubt him for that matter, so I wasn't about to search his person effects for proof. However torturing Mike might just be the way to find out the answers I wanted and be sure that he told me the truth of the matter.

I hadn't tortured him since yesterday and I wasn't getting any rest. I decided as if that settled that matter.

My inner voice was silent, having no more to contribute, though my head still ached tremendously.

I had to find out about these images once and for all so I could finally lay them to rest and ease the persistent nagging.

Learning the truth about my past was suddenly of utmost importance to me, and I knew I had the means to find out now, while the turtles lived, after all once they were dead I might never know who I really was and I knew now that I needed to know if I was to ever find true harmony and balance.

TBC

Reinbeauchaser: Oh yes, a great deal of both memory triggers and confusion for poor Rama/Kirra. As I told you in a seperate e-mail i did purposely use some scenes from early Rama stories for readers to connect to. A gratitude for your insight.

Lunar Ninja: Those memories can be either a good thing or a bad thing and only a few more chapters may verify, which way it is going to be. Hope you enjoyed your trip and it is good to have you back. A gratitude for your insight.