Anacrusis

Disclaimer: I am not the owner of Gundam Wing, however I am the owner of the character Melinda Chichester and any other OC's that may appear.

wantinlife: Well I didn't keep up to the part about updating quickly, I apologise, but exams came and I must do them before I come back to writing. I looked over it and I wasn't pleased, so rewrote it. I'm still alittle reserved about this chapter and I welcome your input if you are still willing to give it. I agree with you about the importance of IC stories. I tried my best to keep them true to character, just seems alot more real.

Olivia: Thank you for your review. I am glad you enjoy this fic, and look foreward to any comments you have to this chapter.

SVS: Ooooo thank you for the review. I hope you think the rest of it to be prettyful

They hadn't spoken since.

Well it wasn't like Relena could try and have a conversation in the first place; Heero appeared to be avoiding her.

It had been about 3 days since the attempt of her assassination and the conversation in Heero's kitchen. In all that time all Relena had seen of him were quick glimpses before he disappeared out of the apartment door. It meant Relena was alone for most of the time, and she was very, very, very bored. Heero had at least been thoughtful enough to include her current reading book but she had too much on her mind to focus on reading.

Relena walked into the kitchen area and sat on the only chair. With a sigh she dragged the brown paper bag towards herself and peeked inside. Sandwiches for lunch it seemed, yummy. She tried not to look ungrateful for Heero providing her food but this was getting ridiculous. She couldn't have sandwiches all the time.

She reached in a hand and pulled out a sandwich. Chicken Mayo she idly noted before taking a generous bite. They really were good sandwiches; she'd have to ask Heero where they came from...

Heero…

Relena shook her head and sighed. He was driving her crazy with his sudden disappearing acts. He was so close yet so far away at the same time. He was driving her insane by taking over her thoughts. It wasn't new for her to just sit where she was now and just stare into space, thinking. Thinking about a lot of things, for one she had been wondering if everyone knew where she was. She didn't know what Heero had arranged; did he simply call Preventer HQ and say he was looking after her? Or just disappear and leave everyone panicked and confused?

The second option might have been his most likely approach. Confuse the enemy into thinking she was captured by one of their own or confuse them enough to flush them out. Heero had always seemed the calculating sort, but he was also very brash when he wanted to be. Relena took another large bite out of the delicious sandwich, not forgetting to dap away some Mayo from the corner of her mouth with a paper napkin Heero had provided in the bag. She leaned forward and placed her elbow on the table propping her chin up on her free hand. She took another bite.

When was she going to get out of here? As nice as the unexpected was, she needed work to get done and it certainly wasn't going to get done on its own…hmm that might be a career move for Heero, inventing self doing work…

She snorted at the ridiculous notion but to be honest if it gave him something to focus on besides the bloody life he was now forcing himself to lead, she'd seriously suggest it. These odd thoughts just seemed to remind Relena of just how lonely she really was.

She'd been lonely for a long while, and finally admitting it to Melinda solidified the fact. She had companionship sure; she wasn't lonely in that department. But she lacked a lover's type of relationship, that unique closeness you had with your lover. She guessed it was her soul that was calling out for its significant other. But…who was her significant other? Could it be Heero? Or any soul in the world? Yes she loved Heero with all she had, but was it enough? She didn't think she could cope with non-recuperated love all her life. Could she move on if Heero truly had no feelings for her?

It was too painful to think about.

Relena didn't want to sound wanton, least of all to herself. But was love so important to her that she'd give up on Heero and seek it out? Did other people feel like that too?

Her final bite of the sandwich half in her hand was rather dejected. The food felt of cardboard and tasteless all of a sudden.

She had to know if Heero felt anything. She had to know for certain, no glimpses or odd affections he'd been showing her. She needed to know if he loved her, to feel that he loved her, or all of it would be pointless…

She'd decided to stay up and wait for Heero to return. She didn't care how late it was; she had to know the truth. Was she wasting her love and life? She sure hoped she wasn't, but Heero was about as easy to read off of as a blank book. He revealed nothing unless surprised enough into it and that was why she had to ask.

Relena shifted uncomfortably on the lumpy couch she was currently residing on. She glanced briefly at the door to see if he was there yet and once affirmed that he wasn't, she went back to look at her wringing hands. Her head was bent forward and a curtain of honey gold tresses cascaded on either side of a pale heart shaped face. Her brow creased in anxiety and she bit lightly on the inside of her mouth. She felt sure she might be sweating. But that was ridiculous! She'd faced the barrel of a gun and never once broke out into a sweat. So why was this so difficult?

Because it was Heero.

She sighed and bent slightly more forward and further out of her usually pristine posture. He was on her mind again, well she wasn't surprised this time seeing at she was about to bleed her heart out to him.

Breath, breath, breath, think of it as a speech. Remember to think of the audience as naked…hmmm naked Heero.

Relena coughed harshly as she choked on her own spittle that she'd been trying to swallow when she coughed. Thinking of Heero in the nude was not going to help calm her nerves. The involuntary thought brought a deep blush to Relena, right to the roots and she coughed again in a slightly more lady like manner. She was 22 for God's sake, why was she blushing over a perfectly normal human thing? Everyone had fantasies. That brought a thought to her then…did Heero fantasise? Or better yet, did he fantasise about her?

She blushed to the roots again when she actually found the question a curious one. Surely even Heero was human enough to have primal urges like that? She shook her head and tried to clear her mind, such thoughts as that weren't welcome at the moment. She needed to think of how she was going to approach Heero at his return, if he in fact returned at all. Relena was sure that he would, but he had always been the unpredictable type.

She could always come straight out with it and babble that she'd loved him since the day she saw him and she needed to know if he loved her back. But she'd sound too needy in her own opinion; she had to remember that if he didn't, she'd have to move on some how. Then of course she could be rhetorical with him, but Heero was a blunt person so that could end in tatters too. She could pounce on him as soon as he walking in the door, proclaim her love and then order him to ravish her…

This had Relena cough and blush crimson again, though it was a very appealing thought…

Enough romance novels for her for a little while. She sat up and frowned as if suddenly realising the odd thoughts that had clambered inside her head. They weren't helping and she'd only gone around in a circle. She still didn't know how to approach Heero in the issue at hand.

It was becoming a painful frustration all over again and it left her feeling deflated and stressed. Why was love causing her to stress? What happened to all the picture perfect scenes she'd pictured in her mind since she was a little girl? It was just more questions to add to the steadily growing pile. She'd been asking so many questions as of late and she was sure it wasn't the air causing it. Maybe lonely people just asked a lot of questions so it could take their minds off the dull ache they felt for just a few brief moments.

She tugged nervously on the right sleeve of her cream casual blouse. She had to crush those cheerless thoughts. What time was it? Shouldn't Heero be back by now?

As if she had some how summoned him; the distinctive click of the door opening resounded and brought Relena's attention from searching for a clock, to the front door. The murky hued wooden door, which looked like it was the only thing Heero spent money on improving, slowly opened and the silhouette of the aforementioned man appeared and shut the door behind it. Heero emerged from the shadowed entryway and into the dim light supplied by a low wattage bulb that hung naked in the middle of the room. If he was surprised to see Relena awake still he didn't show it.

"You should be asleep Relena."

Relena got up and paused Heero with a hand on his shoulder while on his path to the kitchen. She held back the irritation she still felt at being treated like a child from her voice. She instead fixed on a small smile and a pleasant tone.

"I can take care of myself Heero, but what are you doing staying up so late?"

Heero regarded her with the same impassiveness he always had. It made Relena frown ever so slightly before the smile returned. Heero noticed though and made that fact clear as he spoke.

"Don't go worrying or concerning over what I do, it isn't worth it. I'm not worth it."

Relena shook her head "yes you are Heero and I have the right to care about you." She turned herself so she was fully in front of him. He looked as though he couldn't fathom that she cared this much and Relena took that as an opportunity to pounce on and find out how he, if he even did, feel about her.

"You look after me Heero. Why can I not return the favour?" His response was a deep frown "You don't need to worry yourself over such things. I am there to protect you! I don't have the emotions for anything else."

She glared slightly at him and poked his chest gaining a surprised look from Heero; she only took it and the clear uncertainty of his own words to her advantage. He was lying to himself and she knew it. To Hell with being subtle, she was desperate to know.

"Stop your denial, you have the emotions Heero, they are just buried and by yourself no less. You can show compassion and mercy like you did to Marie Maya, you have regret from killing Marshal Noventa and you have love, love for the colonies to which you fought for and still fight for!"

She shook her head slightly in frustration "You act on your emotions all the time and you know it, you feel and have felt since before the war that tarnished us all. It's like you're hiding from me."

He looked mildly taken aback by the passion laced in her words but the impassive look returned its ominous shadow to his handsome face. But his eyes, his eyes looked troubled and Relena dared hope that it was the emotions he held for her fighting to get free.

"My emotions and what I feel are two separate things…" his words weren't as certain as Relena was sure he meant them to be.

She took it a step further.

She brought both her hands up and cupped his face in them. She made him face her and pinned his eyes with her own that were fit to burst with the emotion sparkling in them, emotion just for him.

"Can you feel that Heero? Can you feel my hands?"

"Yes" was his thick voiced reply.

She moved closer to him and pressed her body flush with his, her hands dropped and circled his waist pulling him closer. Her heart pounded at the close contact and Relena couldn't help but revel was the feel of his hard body against hers.

"Do you feel this?"

Her hot breath caressed his neck and Heero jerked in surprise but didn't pull her away. Instead he answered in an even deeper voice.

"Yeah"

"Can you not feel the emotions match to what you feel now?" at his curt and slightly jerky nod she continued "emotions and feeling are connected, basically one in the same, you have both Heero…you should always act upon them, always" she gulped and drew back to look at him "...now tell me Heero, do you feel this?"

And then she leaned up and kissed him delicately on the lips.

She held her eyes tightly shut and daren't move. She didn't want what could be her only ever opportunity to end. His lips were surprisingly smooth some part of the brain noted and she could have oozed into a pile of glop right there on the spot. Her knuckles were white as her hands tightly gripped his denim jacket, she was afraid to let go but knew she had to. She started to pull back when he returned the kiss. She could have sworn her heart skipped a beat.

They ended up in the kitchen somehow with Relena backed up against the countertop and Heero fervently kissing her with all the emotion he did possess. His arms on either side of her clutching the countertop blocking any form of escape not that Relena wanted to go anywhere. She kissed back with just as much passion and fever, her heart soaring and thundering against her chest. Her mind was a complete blank at the shock that he was kissing her back.

Heero pulled back leaning his forehead against hers and gazed down at her with dark glazy eyes that seared with passion as he finally answered her question. His voice was husky and almost breaking as he spoke in a voice just above a whisper "…yeah…"

Relena's dazed mind didn't quite comprehend what it was Heero meant but she didn't much care as they both draw together into an intimate embrace once more. Some how they moved again, breaking off a kiss but then returning to a new one once more as they went. Eventually they made it to the bedroom and Heero pried a hand away from Relena's hip to open the door. Once more he guided Relena, who didn't really need much convincing, into the darkened room and kicked the cheap looking door shut with his foot…

It was mid morning when she stirred. Her sleep fogged mind moved sluggishly as it tried to complete the morning rituals of blinking and slowly stretching. Her mind eventually managed to get the blinking part as Relena opened her bleary eyes and came face to face with a pillow. The stark whiteness of the thing helped pull Relena into the waking land. Her fogged mind took in the scene vaguely before shutting off to do the stretching part of the morning's ritual.

Relena's mouth opened and her jaws locked when a small high pitched yawn escaped her. Simultaneously, her arms stretched out before her, the muscles unconsciously flexing and relaxing beneath her skin. Her toes curled and flexed in time to the odd rhythm that the rest of her lower half, oddly achy though she paid it no heed, and the other parts of her body were dancing to. It was as her body naturally shifted beneath the sheets that her mind registered her skin was feeling something odd.

Relena paused her stretching and realised she couldn't feel the softness of her silk nightgown but the slightly rough material of the bed-sheets. That thought brought Relena's mind to a stand still as she realised something.

She was naked.

Naked…and sore.

As if that thought were the key to the flood gates of her memory, the occurrences of last night washed over her with the power of a tsunami. Her thoughts, Heero's return, their kiss…Relena blushed at the rest and a contented look pooled onto her features setting off a warm feeling that curled her toes. The feeling, like all pleasant feelings, didn't last long. A sinking feeling caught her and pulled at her gut. She was alone in bed.

Relena sat up immediately, literally bolted upright as if electrocuted. Surely he was just in the other room, he wouldn't leave her after that…would he?

But the seed of doubt was already blossoming quite contently within her heart. Nestled contenting between her heart strings pulling them and causing her to ache in unease. Perhaps he had only used her. She clenched the covers tightly in her small fists, turning the knuckles white and creasing the linen within her clasp.

No, she shouldn't be angst, Heero wouldn't leave her like that. She'd seen the passion and desire in his eyes and dare she even hope love? But lust had been there so maybe…

"No!"

Her own voice surprised her at it sounded in the room harshly. She was panicking for no reason. She was Relena Darlian, a politician and a level minded woman. She would not panic and worry. Heero was obviously out on some morning ritual he partook in. It was with that notion firmly in her mind, that she got out from between the covers and gathered fresh clothes together to change into. Stuffing her dirty ones into another compartment of the duffle bag, she stood up and made the bed to her satisfaction.

A small smile graced her features and she made to turn the doorknob of the bedroom door when she paused. The smile faded and a slight worried frown replaced it. Was he outside? What if he was? How should she act? How would he act? The questions seemed to flood her in a jumbled swirl. Calm, she had to be calm. This was Heero, he wasn't some stranger. She deliberately ignored the voice that said quite the contrary and opened the door.

And saw nothing.

Heero wasn't there.

Relena didn't know whether to be relieved or worried. Maybe she was reading into this too much? She'd had sex –made love- she corrected herself, with Heero, and it had been wonderful. She should stop worrying.

'You'll get wrinkles otherwise' a voice distinctly sounding like one Dorothy Catalonia floated about in her head. She shook her head in amusement and a small chortle escaped her while heading into the small and basic kitchen. Her eyes scanned over the room and landed on a brown paper bag on the table. A warm smile that reached her eyes appeared as she reached for the bag and opened it. Opening the bag and reaching in, she extracted a breakfast sandwich. Her hand brushed past something as her hand left the bag. Frowning, she placed the sandwich down and reached back into the bag, extracting the mystery item.

It was a letter.

Taking the folded sheet of lined paper in both hands, she used her thump and index fingers the open the fold and started reading the message written in a small spiders scrawl. A disbelieving look fell over her eyes, quickly followed by an unreadable one. One hand fell from the letter and rose to the place over her heart. She barely had time to comprehend the content when the door burst open and Preventers swarmed in the small dingy apartment, P-20's aimed and being pointed in every possible direction.

Relena blinked, whether from surprise or to stop tears from falling she wasn't sure. Quickly she slipped the letter in her pocket before the questions started.

"Vice Foreign Minister, are you alright?"

"Minister, is there anyone here?"

They kept coming in, and Relena, ignoring the questions, watched in fascination as more and more armed Preventers came in.

"Relena!" the deep honeyed baritone, one that flooded her ears with its familiarity and comfort caused her to come out of her stupor and witness her brother storm past the Preventers and envelop her in a crushing hug. Relena stood stock still, absorbing the strong presence of her dear sibling and idly noting he really must have been worried about her to display this amount of affection in front of everyone, he was always a reserved man like that.

Hadn't Heero told them she was safe?

She bit her lip and the new and raw emotion that suddenly filled her heart at his name. Desperate for comfort, she wrapped her arms around her brother and clung to him. Emotional baggage she didn't know she held from the past few days took hold of her and swept her away. It was all she could do not the cry out, but instead, she let silent tears fall and wondered:

Where had it all gone wrong?

-TBC-

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