The Enemy

Disclaimer: I deny any ownership of any adult or adolescent transformed shadow warrior chelonians.

Chapter Twenty Two - Pawn

Kirra:

In spite of all my father's lies he was still very much my father, or at least the man I had accepted as my father many years ago, and I knew that I still owed him a great deal even with all his deceptions. I also knew what to expect if I dared to disobey him.

On the other hand, Michaelangelo was my true father but I hardly knew him, except from my now, not so distant memories. Those very same memories might cause me to hesitate during his execution.

If that was to happen what would father think? Or worse yet do to me?

I never cared for execution killings to begin with, I found little or no honour in them, but I knew executions were sometimes necessary and I had accepted it as part of my life as a ninja. I knew I would be called on to do executions now and again for my Master so I had learned to do the distasteful task, preferring to get it over and done with quickly.

This time though I didn't know if I could trust myself to do the job at hand. I couldn't stop the flow of memories as it was, so there was no way I could block off what the turtle had meant to me at one time. Those memories already haunted and badgered me enough as it was and seemed ready to show me in every way, what sort of parent Michaelangelo was compared to my adopted father.

Even now as I felt pulled and torn in two separate directions images came…

There was one of the two of us sitting on a battered stained couch, the stuffing showing through in places, as the young version of me read to him often my tongue tripped over what seemed to be long or extremely difficult words.

He would gently correct me, or give correct pronunciation as needed but waited patiently to see if I would get the word right on my own first.

" Wonderful Rama you finished the story" he cheered for me.

" Have trouble with words daddy." I complained.

" That is because you are new to reading. You need to practise and then it will be much easier for you, I promise." He assured me as he gave me a hug and a kiss.

Another image came on the heels of the first, this one of me falling from my skateboard and badly scraping both of my knees, daddy caring for my wounds.

" This is your own fault Rama, you have no one to blame but yourself. Where were your safety pads huh?" He demanded abruptly, " If you had been wearing them like you are supposed to, you wouldn't have gotten hurt." He reminded me sharply.

" They are in my room" I sniffed my eyes filling up with tears.

" How are they supposed to protect you in there? That is one of your rules right, wear your safety gear when riding?"

" I hates rules. I gots too many daddy." I protested.

" Even I have rules Rama."

" You makes rules daddy" I pointed out.

" Not all of them. I have clan rules that I have to follow and one day you will have to follow those rules to keep the whole family safe" Dad insisted, " People topside also have rules that they have to follow rules at work, rules for driving in a car, and some rules that are called laws that if you break you end up in very big trouble" he explained patiently " We might not like all the rules we must live by but it makes living with one another easier and it keeps us safe." Now his eyes grew hard and stern, a scowl crossed his face " Since you didn't obey your rules I am taking your skateboard and bike away for a week. Let that and your sore knees be a reminder to you."

" I hates you!" I yelled at him feeling he was being very unfair to me, I crossed my arms over my plastron and pouted.

" Go ahead and hate me Rama." He declared giving me a hard look, which softened slightly as he spoke next, " Just remember that I love you and always will."

Another flash and that image faded to be replaced by Michaelangelo sitting on a bed holding me in his arms while an angry Leonardo stood near the bed with his arms crossed and a dark look on his face as he glowered at me. I could see Raphael and Karena standing near the doorway watching with interest.

" It is all right Rama settle down and tell me, babe what do too many fingers have to do with you taking Raph's sais? Why not our weapons?" Dad asked.

I looked up at my Sensei, " Your weapons different. Too many fingers not matter for chuck, or staff or ka-ka-tana. Too many fingers for sai." I sobbed as I tried to explain hoping that dad would understand what Sensei didn't.

Somehow I knew I didn't have the right words to say what I really wanted to. I had to hope that what I said would suffice.

Luckily, dad did seem to know what I was getting at.

Those, and so many other images, told me that he had been a loving parent quick to offer sympathy when it was needed and deserved, but also quite willing to lay down the law and up hold it when it was necessary, without having to resort to violence or extreme harsh disciplinary measures.

He was different from the man I called father. Yukio had never offered me such comfort or kindness. No father was very quick to discipline to the extent that he went well above and beyond the crime that had been perpetrated in the first place. Father ruled with a hard and fast hand.

I sighed could I really kill Michaelangelo knowing what I now knew about him?

I knew I might hesitate, even involuntarily and instead of a quick painless death I may subject him to a slow agonizing one. I might make him suffer, though that might please father and the foot more.

I wanted to obey father. I knew I should obey him. Yet I doubted my ability to carry this through to the end. Besides how could I obey father now after everything that I had learned?

It was so confusing I didn't know what to think or decide. So I wallowed and sank deeper in a pool of indecision and doubt instead.

' You know what Yukio wants from you. How about what Michaelangelo may want from you?' The inner voice whispered.

That is easy, I scoffed, he wants his freedom. He will want me to help him and his family escape. I don't even have to ask him to know that. What I want to know is why I should do that for him!"

' Don't you want a chance to get to know him?' The voice asked.

" No I don't want to get to know him. It will only make the decision more difficult to make. I have to execute him. Not befriend him," I snapped irritably to myself.

'It is far better to make an informed choice then a choice made on scraps of information, gossip or preconcieved notions for that matter.' The voice advised, ' He might be able to offer a little friendly advice if nothing else.'

Yeah right, I thought, why would he even give a damn about me after all this time. I'm not his little girl any more. I sighed and bowed my head in misery, " he is still the enemy."

' He is the father that you should have known all along. Isn't there something you would like to say to him?' The voice urged

What difference will it make to him, or I? He will still die tomorrow.

'All the more reason to speak with him now.' The voice urged.

I wondered where this voice came from, I doubted it came from the turtles themselves most of them considered me their enemy thought they might want to try and get me to aid them through such means, I somehow doubted it. Besides I didn't have the feeling I often received when another ninja probed at my mind in any way. I had the feeling this voice was truly internal and stemmed from something other then from the captives.

I lowered my head even further feeling the constant pounding of my headache. The grittiness of my eyes from lack of sleep, I longed to rest, to shut my eyes but I knew that I would not escape from the nightmares that waited for me.

By day I had my memories at night dreams filled with such horror that I woke screaming and terrified.

I felt pulled stretched thin, feeling drawn to those I once had called family yet at the same time wanting little or nothing to do with them.

I couldn't clear my mind of the confusion no matter how hard I tried. I knew I was lost in a world of chaos, utter confusion, sheer hopeless madness. Knowing this and finding the way out, the steps I needed to take to regain sanity, was two different things however.

Funny how things turn out, how what you thought you knew and were so sure of could be taken from you so easily.

A little over a week ago, I was Kirra a kunoichi of the Foot Clan, daughter to Yukio and heir to the Foot branch in New York.

Now I knew I wasn't Kirra. I wasn't Yukio's daughter or his heir. I was hated and despised by the Foot and by those I once called family.

I was the enemy in my true family's eyes, as well as the enemy in my adopted family's eyes.

No matter what I tried to cling to it was stripped from me, the grains of sand not just drifting out of my hand but pouring out leaving me with nothing. I wasn't sure of anything any more.

I didn't know who I was now, or what sort of future lay before me, or even if there was a way that I might be able to escape all those who wanted to see me dead.

All I wanted right now, in this very instance was to sneak away and find some place of solitude where I could live out the rest of my days in peace. Was that too much to ask?

I suppose it was, for I knew I would never get it.

I would never have a family or a future. I had lost both twice over and I was afraid to start over again for I knew it wouldn't work for me. It would fail.

I would fail!

I knew that I was meant to fail, that perhaps it was ordained even because I realized in the end I was nothing more then a pawn and pawns role is to sacrifice themselves for the greater good of all. Pawns always come to a dead end.

Victory, hope future a life is not meant for one cast as a pawn. Pawns were lowly pieces meant to advance another's purpose. I was just a pawn to my father I knew that now.

But as a pawn I knew I still had a role to play in this game, though I wasn't quite sure what that role fully was.

TBC

Reinbeauchaser: Ah things are going be turning very quickly after all you have ten more chapters to go. Can you believe it? With all my other stories on the go updating once a week is good. Yes I plan to re-do the sequel after this and " The Legacy" rewrite is done. Also plan to rewrite Bond of Friendship and Therefore I am. A gratitude for your insight.

Lunar Ninja: Rama hanging by a thread perhaps mentally and figuratively if not fully literally. No that little voice isn't about to let up at least not yet. Ten more chapters to go! A gratitude for your insight.