But I got High.
Chapter Two
The Dastardly Plot Continues . . . .
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There was frantic movement in the Gryffindor common room. Pillows were flung everywhere books and papers were on the floor as half the house were running around lost for words.
"Where was the last place you saw it?"
"Behind the red cushion on the couch."
"Why the hell did you leave it there?"
"I was stoned I didn't care."
"This is terrible, it's all gone."
A hysterical third year started hyperventilating.
A terrible tragedy had come to the great and noble house of Gryffindor all the weed was gone. There was not a single joint, bong, or bag of grass, in the entire Gryffindor tower. There had been much weeping and gnashing of teeth when this had been discovered.
"How am I going to get through Divination without a hit?"
"Divination, try sitting through Binns, sober."
"That was Hagrid's happy weed that went missing."
"How could they get all of it?"
"Has any one got any left in their personal stashes?"
"What about that stuff we gave to Mrs Norris maybe we can get it off her?"
There was hurried movement to the dorms as everyone went to check their 'special' places. A score of porn a dozen vibrators in various shapes and sizes and a multitude other 'items' but not a single leaf of dope.
Back in the common room everyone joined their fellow Gryffindor in despair.
Unbeknownst to then this was a common picture all over Hogwarts as both serious pot heads and the rest of the residents discovered that all the dope in the school was gone. It was as if someone had died in the corridors of the school that day. Strange conversations could be heard throughout Hogwarts.
And no one noticed the school getting messier and messier.
"I had this special plant I was growing in the glasshouses. I'd named it Bob. And it's gone too"
"Poor Neville."
"So everything's gone?'
"No I heard that Hagrid's patch is still there but someone's put up a shield so no one can go near it."
"I vote a kamikaze mission for the first years to take back Hagrid's hut, Whose with me?"
"All we need is a cattle prod, a whip, and enough first years to break the shields."
"I don't think the teachers will let us."
"Screw the teachers."
"What about the outside sources?"
"None of us can get to Hogsmeade until Friday. Life sucks."
Even the teachers had run out and having for the first time, for some of them to teach while not under the influence of drugs.
"Hey Binns is walking."
"But he's a ghost."
"No really I swear it he was walking around and solid."
"What I heard was that years ago he got a hold of this mega-weed and started floating and he never came down. Since then he smokes enough joints to double Jamaica gross national product. "
At Divination Trewlany was teaching her course with a clear mind for the first time.
"Okay so this is Divination."
"Yes, Miss."
"Cool that's like seeing into the future, crystal balls and stuff right."
"Yes Miss."
"And I teach this?"
"Yes, Miss."
"What the fuck was I smoking?"
In potions a strange sight could be seen, as Snape's paranoia reached an all time high.
"I can see you all staring at me. All your beady little eyes."
"Calm down Sir."
"I know your all after me, watching me."
"Sire."
"What do you want? What do you want?" He screamed.
"Sir, What are we doing today?" Was the very timid response from a first year Slytherine
After a very long day everyone had trooped into the dining hall. Snape was looking especially nasty with his medicinal herbs going missing. He only used it potions, he swore.
With a wave of his wand Dumbledore opened the meal like usual and nothing appeared. He tried again and this time a puff of smoke sat above the tables but no food. Snape started to sniff.
"I recognise that smell."
Several others in the hall also recognised the smell. Dumbledore who was looking decidedly happy, had been perfectly fine for the day as a lack of weed didn't worry him. He doesn't get red eye's.
"Harry could you and few of your friends go down to the kitchens and see what's keeping them?"
You never seen the boy that lived move so fast. Followed by a group of his fellow Gryffindors.
"You never suspect the elves."
"Sneaky little bastards."
"Look guys, I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation. Dobby wouldn't do anything wrong."
It didn't take them long to reach the main door through to the kitchens and all noticed the smoke easing under the door.
"It's just a fire in the kitchen."
"Yeah with our weed."
The angry wizards pushed open the door to a strange and mysterious sight.
Hogwarts house elves were all sitting around the kitchen tiny little bean bags and been found and were all filled by tiny little pot heads. Lying around them were the remains of what must have once been Hogwarts Breakfast, Lunch and Tea.
"Dobby, Dobby."
From out of the smoke a house elf emerged, his multi coloured clothing having the added addition of a little Rastafarian hat with dreadlocks.
"Yah Man, what's up?"
"Dobby, What happened?"
"Oh we're just chillin' man."
"Dobby what happened to the house elves?"
"Oh Mr Fred and Mr George showed us a new trick, man."
At the back of the crowd someone began to think.
"Aren't Fred and George the new suppliers in Hogemead?"
"Yeah, those dirty bastards."
"Dobby, I think it would be a good idea if you put all the grass back where you found it."
"But we smoked it all man."
There was a thud as someone at the back of the group fainted and no one caught them before they fell.
At the back of the kitchen a group of house elves started to sing.
"I was going to clean the boys dorm. . . but I got high. I was going to get up and wipe the walls down . . . . but I got high Now there's used tissues everywhere, and I know why . . .cause I got high, cause I got high. cause I got high. "
Authors Note
Another chapter I didn't think I had it in me.
Thanks heaps for the reviews it's been great.
Please review it will lead to inspiration and thus to another chapter.