Authors Note: Wellllll...is everyone getting ready for the last three weeks of Third Watch? Are all of you as devastated as I am? Is the same question running through your mind as it is mine? How could they just cut a top rated show that has a huge fan base who are all probably pulling their hair out of their heads? Ahhhhhhhh...tis very sad, my friends, very sad. Well, at least we all have fanfiction to resort to after our show has ended...very sad indeed. And I must say how very disappointed I am in the way that Faith's character has turned out...very nasty woman she turned out to be...just like Bosco said...but in my writing she can always be his partner and his best friend...the beauty of the imagination at work.

Another Mother

For the next four and a half hours I sat on that couch and talked with my son about everything that had happened. It seemed to me that Brett had been waiting to talk to me for quite some time but had been too afraid of what his father and I would think of him. Gone was the anger he had so easily displayed, gone was the bitterness toward me for being involved in his life. In its place was a sad, lost little boy who needed his mother.

It took me a good hour or so to get over the shock that my second grandchild had made his way into the world and none of us had known. Not even Ty or any of Carly's family. They didn't want anyone to know, he'd said. He also disclosed to me that Carly was thinking about giving the baby up for adoption, which scared me to death, but he left that topic alone when he saw how upset it made me. I couldn't stand the thought of losing this grandchild, Sasha's grandchild.

Between us, we had drunk three bottles of wine, which had loosened both of our tongues to the point of there not being one secret between the two of us. It felt like I had my son back again. The son who had always come to me for everything, for every problem, every hurt, and it felt good. I couldn't help but wonder if his going away had broken that special bond that we had shared for so many years. Could I have done more? Could I have saved my sons before it was too late? There were so many questions that would have to wait far into the future before they could be answered.

For now, I was content with him opening up to me the way he had when he was a boy. Carly had been admitted to the hospital three days before and had a son whom she had named Davis. Brett admitted that he hated the child upon sight, knowing who Davis's father was, knowing that he could never look at that child as his own. It hurt like hell to hear those words, but I remained silent and let him speak.

It turned out that Carly had been telling me the truth about his gambling problem that day she had come to my house. Brett had been gambling heavily for about three years, and it had started just after they had gotten married. He hadn't seen the signs that he had become addicted until the bills started piling up and there was no way to hide them from his wife. He had become over his head rather quickly and had to confess to her the full extent of the problem the night that she had slept with Mike. Everything had gone down hill from there. It wasn't long after that that they had come home to New York for Christmas vacation and he had learned the baby's parentage. However, he assured me that he was no longer gambling and hadn't for quite some time. I didn't know what to believe.

Oh, how hurt my son was, how devastatingly, morally and heart-wrenching the pain was for him. He cried that night, in my arms like he had when he had been three, four, five, six and even seven. I soothed him as best I could, brushing his golden locks aside and telling him that everything would be alright...and how could I really tell him that?

We had gone to bed around three in the morning and slept in until almost noon. I had fallen asleep without calling Bosco but figured that I would call him before we went to the hospital. Brett had knocked on my door to tell me that the shower was free. I rolled over in the comfy bed that I had spent the night in and scrubbed my face with my palms. My head was pounding so hard I thought that I would need a bottle of Advil to take the pain away.

I got out of bed and looked around the spare room. It was quite small but done up to perfection; the perfect guest room. It had a window facing the street with yellow tab curtains that reached the floor, a white canopy bed, queen sized, with a yellow down duvet and matching pillows. There was a white dresser and a white wicker rocking chair as well. By the foot of the bed was a mahogany hope chest with a yellow and blue knitted blanket folded up. Carly was an amazing decorator. I had thought that this apartment was a two bedroom, not a three. Where was the baby's nursery? I looked around in the closet to see if there was any baby stuff but there were only winter coats and boots and a few boxed of what looked to be like Christmas ornaments. They must have been planning, or she must have been planning to put the baby in their, which was now her, bedroom. That made more sense.

I pushed the thoughts of Brett telling me that Carly had thought about giving the baby up for adoption to the back of my mind as I rummaged through my carry-on to find some clean clothes and my cosmetic case. I chose a pair of pink capri pants and a matching pink tank top with a light cotton sweater to throw over my shoulders in case it was too cold at the hospital. I took everything into the bathroom and set them on the toilet and got into the shower.

After I was finished and dressed I went out into the kitchen and found Brett making breakfast. He already had the table set and was frying a pan of bacon. He smiled when I came into the room and gestured for me to sit down. Coffee was already on the table with cream and sugar setting out. I eased myself into the chair and set about mixing myself a cup.

"Morning ma. I hope you're hungry." He said as he turned back to the bacon. He had on a pair of kakhi shorts and a Red Socks t-shirt and flip-flops. His hair was wet from his shower and he smelled sweet like his aftershave. He had taken the scruff off of his face and he looked even more handsome than I had seen him in a long time.

"I'm so hungry I could eat a bear." I quipped and took a sip of the coffee. He seemed almost happy and carefree and I wondered if it had anything to do with the depth of our talk the night before.

"Well, bacon's almost ready and the toast is in the toaster – or do you want english muffins?"

"Toast is great." I answered. Then I remembered what I had wanted to ask him. "Brett, where is all of the baby's things?"

He set a plate in front of me and went back to the stove to finish his own before he answered me. "We...I mean...she...was taking care of all that stuff. I didn't think the kid would be here so soon, if you know what I mean." He said gruffly. He didn't want to talk about it.

I bit into a piece of bacon and savored the greasy taste. "Ummmm...this is delicious Brett, when did you learn to be such a good cook?" I teased.

He shot me an amused look. "Ma..it's just bacon, nothing special."

"I know. It's just nice of you to feed your mother like this, that's all."

"Well, you are going to be doing a favor for a lifetime." He said. "The least I can do is feed you."

"For a lifetime?"

"I mean of a lifetime."

There was little other conversation between us as we ate, as we were both in our own worlds thinking about our own stuff. I wondered again why they didn't have anything for that baby. Nothing. It seemed really odd for them to not have anything. When I had all of my kids my friends had brought stuff over, my family, co-workers, people I hardly knew. Everyone loved a new baby and couldn't wait to see it. My phone had rung off the hook. There hadn't been one call since I had arrived. It was very strange.

Brett hailed a cab that would take us to the hospital. Once inside the car, I began to ask questions again.

"What time does your plane leave today? I thought you were going this afternoon."

"Not until eight." He answered, looking at the scenery passing by.

"Are you coming in with me?" I asked hopefully, trying to get him to open up to me. But the closer we got to Carly, the more tense he became, as if she had an invisible magnet that was pulling him against its will back to her, where he didn't want to be.

He looked over at me and gave me an irritated look. "I havn't been there the whole time. Why would I start now? I have things to do. I have to pack and all that stuff. Just call me when you're ready to come home and I'll give you the address and you can take a cab."

With that he turned and looked out the window again. I was very annoyed by his attitude but tried to keep my emotions in check for fear of fighting with him again. My thoughts turned back to Carly and my new grandson. Davis Monroe Boscorelli. That brought a smile to my face, imagining my and Sasha's grandson, so small and sweet to hold. I hoped with all of my heart that she hadn't decided to give him up. I had to see her and try to talk her out of it, if that was what she was planning.

On second thought, it seemed, Brett took his apartment keys off of the key ring and handed them to me. "Ma, in case I've gone out, these are my spare set. Don't lose em." He warned.

"Hey." He said to the driver when we pulled up to the main entrance of the hospital. "Can you spare me a piece of paper and a pen?"

The driver handed him one and he wrote down his address and the neighborhood he lived in and handed it to me.

"Why do I need this now? Aren't you going to be home when I get there?" I asked uncertainly.

"Ma. I told you I have things to do this afternoon and I don't want you standing on the street waiting for me. It will be fine." He said, rubbing my shoulder.

I stepped out of the cab and slung my purse around my shoulders and despite the hot day, I shivered. I watched the cab pull away and was struck with the terrible feeling that this would be the last time I ever saw my son.

Pushing those thoughts aside, I went into the hospital and asked the front desk where Carly Boscorelli's room was. No one knew. They checked the database three times before I said, "Try Carly Davis.".

Sure enough, she was registered under her maiden name and she was in the maternity ward on the fourth floor. I asked directions, thanked the nurse and proceeded toward the elevator. On my way, I passed the hospital gift shop and decided to go in and buy something for both Carly and the child. I found a beautiful cosmetic bag for Carly that was red satin with ruby colored stones sewed on to the side in the shape of a heart. And for Davis, I found a blue and white jumper set that came with booties and a sweet little hat. I put both in gift bags and went to the elevator.

As I was going up, I realized that I had forgot to call Bosco again. He'd think that I really wasn't coming home and that I was still angry over his not coming, instead of what I really was; miserable without him and very sorry that we had fought.

I found her room easily enough and stuck my head inside. "Hello? Carly, are you there?" I called as I entered.

She was sitting on her hospital bed with her back to me. Surprised to see her up and about, I walked in further. "Carly?"

She turned and smiled at me, but it was weak. "Faith...thanks for coming."

I threw down the bags and walked over and embraced her. "How are you feeling?" I asked, squeezing her unresponsive body close to me.

She sniffed the air, what seemed like trying to hold back tears and looked away for a second. "I'm okay, I guess."

"Are you sore?"

She nodded. I felt very uncomfortable and it was clear that so did she. She stood up and walked over to the window. "He's beautiful, you know. Looks just like me when I was born except that his skins lighter..." She murmured.

Awkwardly, I held out the two gift bags for her to open. She accepted them and opened them without excitement but smiled and thanked me anyway.

I sat down on the chair that was reserved for visitors and looked around the room. It was bare. No balloons welcoming the new life, no cards, no flowers. It was as if no one knew she had had the baby. I focused for the first time on what she was wearing; a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. She looked like she had never given birth at all; her figure was as good as it had been before she became pregnant.

" When can I see him?" I asked excitedly. Now that I was here I could hardly wait to see little Davis.

"He's in the nursery. He's sleeping." She said sadly, looking out at the brilliant summer day.

"Carly? What's wrong, baby? You can tell me. I'm here. I know I'm not your momma but I've known you since the day that you were born...I want to help." I said as sincerely as I could.

She turned to me, tears glistening down her dark cheeks, wet and shiny. "I miss her so much, Faith. It's like I can't go on without her."

Tears sprung to my eyes, the pain of losing Sasha filling me once again. "I know, sweetie. I miss her too. Every day. She'd be proud of you for naming him Davis Monroe...it's a real tribute to her and to your dad." I said.

"Faith..you don't have to pretend that everything is okay. I know what I did and I deserve to be hated by you and the rest of your family—" she began, her head hung down in shame.

I jumped up from my seat and walked over to her and held her slender shoulders. "You listen to me— I don't want to hear that garbage from you...do you understand? What's done is done and I love you the same way I love Michael and Brett. There is no going back now. Davis is here and he's my grandson and I love him. No one hates you, Carly."

"I can't even look at him without seeing what I did" She admitted. She turned to me and looked back out the window. " I can't raise this child, Faith. I can't do it." She said softly, but firmly.

I started toward her but she raised her hand. "Carly...listen..."

"No. I've decided. I can't live with it. Brett can't live with it and Mike doesn't want to take any responsibility for it...I just can't do it!" She practically yelled at me.

"So that's it then? You're just gonna give away your baby?" I spoke bitterly, my anger at her starting to return. " You're just gonna throw him away? That's not right! It's not right!" I repeated, starting to shake.

"I'm not any good for him!" She cried out harshly, raising her hands in the air. "I'm not like you, Faith. I can't rise to any occasion and fix everything! I can't stick my head into everyone's problems and come up with the right solution every time!"

Her anger had come about quickly, but I had the feeling that it had been brewing for a very long time.

This was news to me; I hadn't known that she thought of me this way. Obviously I had struck a very sensitive cord with her. One that was making her very angry, very quickly. And if she was angry, I was angrier. I would never give my children away!

"Carly...you have to be reasonable..."

"Oh do I?" She narrowed her grief stricken eyes hatefully at me and turned her face into a sneer. She had never done that to me in the entire twenty four years that I had known her. I was shocked. "I don't think that I do!"

"Carly.."

She stepped toward me and I stepped back, my eyes widening in shock at her anger.

"NO! This is MY life, do you get that? MY life! And don't think you can come here with your gift bags and your hugs and smiles and make it better! I don't want to be a mother and you can't make me...I'm not keeping him and that's final."

"Fine! Be a coward then! Give up your child...but I'll tell you now that you'll regret it until the day that you die, Carly! You will!" I yelled at her, my control gone, my heart torn apart.

"He'll be going to a home where he'll be loved." She bit back. " You can understand that. You've always been such a great mother, with your camping trips and your skating parties and having a husband who will cook and bake cookies for his kids...what kind of a home would that be for the baby? Having a step-father who hates his guts? Growing up in a house where he knows he's the bastard child that no one wanted? Tell me? Huh? Tell me how that would work?" She shrilled to me, her control, if she ever had any, all but gone.

"What are you talking about? Brett told me that he was leaving you!" I cried, frustrated and confused.

"Well— we worked out a deal. It's between us, Faith and it doesn't involve you."

I snorted. "Between you and he? That's a laugh. Neither of you know what you want. You don't know how to deal with real life. Ya just give up and toss out a beautiful baby so you can continue on with your life. Did he tell you to give him up?" I railed.

She didn't answer, just went over to a locker that contained her purse and her shoes and a change of clothes. She slipped her feet into her sneakers and then looked at her watch.

"Did he?" I pressed.

"We made a deal that was...that works for both of us. I love your son, no matter what you think."

All the pieces were starting to come together. He had bullied her into giving up the baby and that was unforgivable. I knew he had done it. He had told me that he hated that baby from the minute he was born and I knew that he had hated it well before that. She was giving up her own child for the love of a man who was completely unforgiving and unreasonable in his hatred of an innocent child.

"A deal? That's what you call it?" I sat back down in the rocker and started to cry. She stood there and watched me for a moment and then mumbled something about getting the baby for me and left the room.

I cried in that five minutes for all that should have been, for all that could have been, if only the two of them had been grown up enough to deal with the situation properly. I cried for Bosco, for me, for Mike, Brett and Carly. For Sasha and finally, for my newest grandchild, Davis. I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath and tried to calm myself before she got back. I missed Bosco so much at that moment, I could hardly sit still.

I needed his arms around me, comforting me, telling me that everything would be okay, even though he knew it wouldn't. Together we could face anything. How foolish I had been to tell him that I might not come home. The truth was that I was only away from him for a day and I was a complete mess.

I heard the door open and Carly came in holding a very small bundle in a blue blanket. She held him close to her and I could see the regret in her eyes, even if she wouldn't admit it. She brought him to me and I eagerly took him.

I pealed the blanket back and gazed into the face of one of the most beautiful infants I'd ever seen. He had a small shock of black curly hair and bright blue eyes. He was dazzling, even much more so than any other of my children. A tear escaped my eye as I knew that I would never get to see this little boy after today. After a few hours.

Carly sat down on her bed and watched me. I put Davis over my shoulder and cuddled him close to me. I rubbed his back and hummed him a lullaby.

A nurse came in to check on Carly and Davis. She smiled warmly at me and introduced herself as 'Judy'.

She was maybe in her mid twenties or early thirties with long chestnut brown hair and shapely almond colored eyes. I thought she was very pretty.

"You're Faith? The Faith that Carly has been tellin' us about?"

I nodded. "Faith Boscorelli. Nice to meet you." I wondered what kind of things Carly had said. Probably not good things, I thought.

"So, you're going to—" She started.

"Uh...yes...Judy, can you check my temperature? I feel kind of hot." Carly interrupted quickly.

I turned my attention back to Davis and brought him down into my lap so I could study him more. He opened his blue eyes and stared blankly at me. I knew he couldn't really see me, but I liked looking at his beautiful eyes anyway. I took his tiny hand into mine and counted all of his fingers. They were perfect.

"Would you like to feed him?" Judy asked, leaning over and smiling at Davis. She had finished taking Carly's temperature and was holding warm formula.

I looked at Carly. "Don't you want to do it, Carly?"

She shook her head and looked away toward the window again. Disgusted, I nodded at Judy and took the warm bottle from her hand and gently placed it in the baby's mouth.

"He better get used to the bottle now." Judy said under her breath and gave me a look of mild disappointment.

I gave her a knowing glance and went back to feeding. "That's it, sweetie...good boy." I cooed.

After Judy left I attempted small talk with Carly again, only to be left with one word answers and looks of hostility mixed with sadness. I could see that this was tearing her apart.

"Carly..you don't have to do this. You can keep him. He's so precious."

"I know."

"Don't you want to hold him?"

"No."

"Why are you doing this?"

"He needs a mother."

"He has a mother. It's you...remember?"

"He needs a mother like...you."

"I give up." I sighed as I burped Davis on my shoulder.

I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost six-thirty. I didn't realize that I had been in the room so long and I was starting to get hungry. We had sat in silence for almost two hours.

Davis was asleep on my lap, his little thumb stuck into his mouth. He slurped away gently, just as his uncle and father had done when they were a few hours old. I was getting too attached, even in this short of time.

I stood up and started to take Davis over to Carly but she shook her head. "I can't...it's too hard...I can't." She said, and looked out the window again.

What was so important at that damn window, I didn't know, but it was starting to irritate the hell out of me.

"Carly, when is the people who are adopting him going to be here?"

"Soon."

"Who are they?" I inquired.

"Nice people." Was her only answer.

"Look, I have to get some supper. What do you want me to do with him?"

"Take him to the nursery. They'll take care of him."

I started out of the room when she called my name.

"Faith?"

I turned around to look at her. She was crying.

"For what it's worth...thanks."

"For what?"

She smiled ruefully and shook her head. "For everything."

I left the room and took Davis to the nursery and headed down to the cafeteria. I stopped to call Bosco from a payphone but there was no answer. I ordered some french fries and a hamburger but only ate half of it. My stomach was in knots and all I wanted to do was cry.

I tried Bosco from the same payphone again before I headed back upstairs. This time I got the machine, which hadn't come on the first time. I left a message.

"Bos? It's me...look...I'm really sorry...about—well, everything. Carly had the baby. It's a boy. His name is Davis Monroe Boscorelli...and he's the cutest little guy you ever did see...there's lots to tell you. I wish you were here. I love you and Ill call you when I get back to Brett's."

I made my way back up to the nursery and the nurses were gathered around Davis's cubicle looking at him. One was holding a clean jumper and the other was cutting his hospital bracelet off. I felt a fledge of panic...for that meant that the adoptive parents were here to claim my beautiful grandson.

Judy saw me and gave me a beaming smile. "It's so good of you to do this...to be here and all...I think you're very brave."

"Uh..thanks?" I said, not understanding. I stood beside the basinet and looked down.

"I mean...to do what you're doing for your son and daughter-in-law...it's just great." She continued, oblivious to the confused look on my face.

"I'm only doing what any grandmother or mother would do." I said uncomfortably. Did all of the nurses here know everything that had happened? Apparently so.

"I have the forms for you to fill out before you go, Mrs. Boscorelli." another nurse said, handing me a stack of forms to sign. "He sure is a beautiful boy." She added.

I took them, not understanding what she meant. "Oh, in case he gets sick or something? So that you know the family background for the adoptive parents?"

The nurses looked from one to the other, expressions of confusion written across their faces. They must have thought that I was stupid, completely senile or maybe mentally ill, from the looks they gave me.

"Can't Carly fill these out? She is his mother."

"Carly? What do you mean?" Asked a nurse named Phillys.

"Why wouldn't she? I'm his grandmother..shouldn't his mother be doing this?"

"Why, Mrs. Boscorelli...she's gone." Judy said, the smile wilting from her face.

"Gone? Like to the bathroom?" I asked, fear lacing my heart.

Phyllis looked at Judy, who in turn, looked at the other nurses. "Nooooo...as in she left. Just after you did."

"You mean the adoptive parents are here?" I asked, looking around for some sign of the couple. I didn't see anyone other than the staff. "Are they in another room or something?"

"Mrs. Boscorelli...what did Carly tell you about the people who were taking the baby?" Judy asked slowly, as if she knew something that I didn't. "Maybe you should come into the supervisor's office for a minute." She added, giving the other nurses a knowing look.

"Okayyyyy..." I said, getting irritated by the confusion and the questions and the fact that everyone seemed to know exactly what was going on, while I, the dense one, groped around in the dark.

She took me to the office which was nothing more than a glorified broom closet with a small desk with a computer on it. There were two plastic chairs. She sat down and I sat opposite her. I clasped my hands together, terribly anxious as to what she was going to say.

"Mrs. Boscorelli, what did your daughter-in-law tell you about the baby and the fact that she was giving him up?"

"Nothing. My son called me yesterday and asked me to come to Boston to sit with Carly because she had three days left until her due date and then told me that the baby had been born after I arrived. He lied to me and felt that it was the only way to get me here. Anyway, he dropped me off this afternoon to visit with the baby and Carly told me she was giving him up. That's all I know."

Judy leaned forward and gazed at me sympathetically. "How many kids do you have?"

How out of context was that? I wasn't here to answer stupid questions like that!

"Three–why? What does that have to do with anything?"

"Grandchildren, other than Davis?" She continued, ignoring my question.

"One..a girl...her name is Little Faith...WHY?" I shrilled, losing control. I started to cry despite my efforts not to. This day had been too full of anxiety and I couldn't cope.

"Mrs. Boscorelli—"

"Oh, just call me Faith..and get on with it...what are you trying to tell me?" I snapped.

"Carly checked out about five minutes after you did. She's gone. She's not coming back."

Gone? Not coming back? Not waiting to see the adoptive parents? Didn't say good bye to her baby?

"What? Gone? She didn't even wait to meet the adoptive parents? How could she do that?" I yelled, my palms face up. I looked at Judy helplessly.

She took a deep breath and furrowed her eyebrows together. She seemed to get more upset by seeing me upset.

"Mrs...Faith." She stopped and then started again. "Carly told us who the adoptive parents were going to be...she knows them very well, as a matter of fact."

"She does? Who are they? WHERE are they?"

Judy sighed and reached out and took my hand and gave it a squeeze.

"Hon...can't you guess?"

"GUESS? WHY would I want to GUESS at something this important, JUDY?" I spit through clenched teeth.

"Because she told us that you and your husband would be taking the child and raising him yourself."