Reflections of You and Me

I never did tell Mikey about the phone call we received from Carly that fall morning and we never did hear back from her. Things were going so well for him that I decided that it would be worse for us to mention it. He had confessed to being in love with her and I was afraid that if he knew that she would drop Brett and come back to New York that it would ruin everything he'd worked so hard to build.

He was doing a great job with Davis and he was working harder than ever at the precinct. He had put in to work the seven to three shift and had recently been allowed to move to the second watch. Again, his father and I were very surprised at his changed attitude and how grown up he had become. He often came home with a new outfit or a toy for Davis and loved to see the expression on his small son's face when he walked into the room. Now almost six months old, Davis was absolutely delighted when he saw his father come home. It made me so happy to see Mikey come in the door and his brilliant blue eyes sparkle when he took Davis from my arms and lavish his face with little kisses.

Davis still reminded me so much of Carly, with his dark curly hair and beautiful dark skin. It was almost impossible to tell that he had any of us in him at all, he looked totally African American and we loved him that way. It was almost as if Sasha was in his eyes, those long dark lashes and sweet disposition reminded me of the best friend that I had lost.

If she had still been alive she would have loved to see this cute little boy and it made my heart ache for Ty, who was still drinking almost every day and sometimes calling us in the middle of the night to tell us off or, sometimes, just to ask how Davis was doing. Ty could have been a part of it all if he'd just stopped paying homage to the bottle. But everyone knows that it is impossible to do when you don't think you have a problem. We would have gladly let him see Davis as much as he wanted to, had he not been so mean and disruptive. I knew that Bosco missed him terribly, missed the friendship that they had, missed hanging out with him. But too much had happened and the only way to help those wounds heal was to stop putting ourselves in the middle of the hurt.

It had been six months to the day since Brett and Carly had left us. Six months of us wondering how he was making out. I tried not to think about her; she had done too much damage to all of us, but I did think about him. I wondered if he regretted moving so far away. I wondered if he missed the brother he once had and most of all, I wondered if he would ever recover from the terrible events that had lead him to this place in his life. Wondering, questions, what if's; they ruled my days and haunted my nights.

Emma and I were starting to plan Little Faith's second birthday party and had decided that we would have it at our house because I had the biggest kitchen. I could hardly believe that she was donning on her second year with us. Her hair had grown down a little past her shoulder blades and her blue eyes were more stunning now than they ever were, turning into a deep turquoise color that was sure to melt the hearts of all who saw her. Emma was very happy about Mike's decision to be a father to Davis and although she was deeply hurt by what he had done to Brett, he was still her big brother and she adored him, as he adored her. I was so happy to see my son and daughter actually hanging out together, taking their own children to the park and going for walks with the baby strollers. They had developed more of a bond this past six months and it brought tears to my eyes to see the four of them together. Only a few times did I hear Mikey or Emma bring up the subject of of Kath's baby. They both knew she had a boy but no one had heard from her or even knew exactly where she was. No one else at the precinct had seen or heard from her either. Usually, Emma would ask Mikey if he ever planned on seeing this child but always he would shake his head and give her a look that meant 'don't mess with this subject'. It was painful for him to learn to deal with the mistakes that he had made, painful for him to realize that he had done himself in when he gave up his rights to his unborn child. Both Bosco and myself knew that someday he would regret his actions, but neither of us expected it to happen so soon. It got me to thinking about Kath.

I sat down at the table one fall day to start my shopping list, as I pondered all of the things that had happened in the last little while. The more I thought about it, I wondered how I could have gone so long and not given her a call. I couldn't help the feeling of guilt that engulfed me when I thought about how I had literally dropped her so long ago. Trying to pick up where we left off would be impossible, but I was curious about my third grandchild. I decided to give her a call.

I got up from the table and went to my junk drawer and took out my phone book. I looked up the number and then dialed nervously.

One, two, three rings and then the answering machine came on. "You've reached Kath, Aidan and Owen. We're not home so leave us a message and we'll get back to you." Kath sounded happy on the machine and I prayed that she was. She must have been seeing someone, I thought, upon hearing the two male names mentioned on the tape. I wondered which one was the baby, Aidan or Owen. Both were nice names.

Panicking, I heard the sound of the machine beep and I blurted out my message. "Hi Kath...it's Faith. Havn't heard from you for such a long time...just wondering how you and the baby are...call me sometime. I'd like to see him if I could...it's up to you...okay...bye."

As I hung up the phone I found myself wishing that things had turned out differently. I wished that Mikey had married Kath when he had the chance. She really was a lovely girl. She had been crushed when he broke up with her. Crushed that all of her dreams had turned out to be nightmares and she was lost somewhere in the middle with his son in her womb.

I sat down to complete my list, adding in a few things here and there and finally decided that I needed to get off my lazy butt and go get the groceries or else Davis would surely die of starvation, if not his father or Bosco. Bosco was upstairs having a shower while Davis was taking a nap. The three of us did a lot of things together and it made it easier, but not without a little sadness, that Emma had taken Little Faith to the daycare, otherwise we would have had two small children to tend to every day.

On this day the three of us were going to the market and then out to lunch and then we were going to get an early start on some Christmas shopping. I was always the one who had everything done up and ready to go under the tree by the end of November. I loved Christmas shopping; the bright lights in the stores, the ribbons, the festive mood, the trees all green and decorated. I was like a kid again.

Finally, I was ready to go. I put on a pair of jeans and the red wool sweater that I had gotten Bosco for Christmas the year before, which he hardly wore, and it looked better on me anyway, and my Nike sneakers. I was always in sneakers. I wore my long hair down because it was warmer on my ears that way. Besides, I liked my new ultra blonde highlights and I was proud to have such great hair at my age.

I dressed Davis in a brown corduroy jacket that had big buttons down the front and a little leather collar, along with some new jeans that I had picked up for him and a pair of light brown leather boots that Mikey had bought for him at 'Aldo'. He was definitely the best dressed six month old I'd ever seen.

After Bos got out of the shower the three of us got into our Mustang and drove to the market. It was so cute to see Bosco wheeling around the grocery cart with Davis sitting in the baby seat that was built in, talking to him and cooing. I swear, every woman who passed him stopped and smiled, tilting their heads as they watched the tender display of affection. He was still as attractive as he'd ever been, and for being a few years shy of sixty, he was still a sight to behold. He smiled back at those woman and kept going down the isles. Even a few thirty-ish woman stopped him and asked him what the baby's name was and so forth. He would look back at me and wink as he talked. Mostly, when I'd walk back to the cart the woman would flash a quick smile and excuse themselves. I didn't mind. Hey, he went home with me.

We took most of the afternoon to finish our shopping and managed to get a bite from Zaxby's in between. I found an adorable doll that came with her own make up and accessories for Little Faith and a fantastic block set for Davis that was see through with apples and bananas and cookies inside. Funny how far kids toys had come from when I was a child. All my brother Stanley and I had to play with were those crappy wooden blocks and some old cardboard boxes...oh, what fun. We had no money and hardly anything. No wonder my mother was such a crab. I also found some things for Mikey and Emma.

The only thing about the entire shopping trip that made me sad was knowing that Brett and Carly wouldn't be home for Christmas, or even if we'd ever see them again. It would be the first Christmas in years that our family wasn't together. Except for the Christmas that Brett and Carly had been away, and still, they had found time to come and see us for a few days before the new semester began. This was the first time that things were so rotten for us, so different. And the clincher was that this would be our first Christmas without Sasha and Ty. No more morning breakfasts and all-day get together's for us. I swallowed the huge lump in my throat that threatened to make me cry. No more crying for me, at least for I while, I pledged to myself.

"So, have you thought about what else we are gonna get for Davis this Christmas?" Bosco asked me as we were driving home. He reached over and took my hand into his and gave me a charming smile.

"Maybe some new clothes and a lot of diapers." I laughed, happy to see him happy for a change. "Or maybe one of those little sheep skin coats, like the one Mikey has— we could get one that matches."

"Ya. That would be cute. But I was thinking about something like a new furniture set for his bedroom for when he gets older. He can take over Brett's old room and I was thinkin that we could set it up like a boat theme." He said, looking to see if I agreed. "I'm gonna build him a boat bed. One that is shaped like a ship and has port holes on the sides and he can go underneath it from this little hatch at the bottom—it's gonna be great!" He said excitedly. "I saw it in this magazine yesterday and it got me to thinkin–"

Inwardly, I winced. I knew that by the time Davis was old enough to sleep in a big bed that he and his father would most likely be out on their own. We, of course, would have had no problem with them living with us forever, but I knew that it wasn't realistic of us to think that way.

"Babe–you do realize that Mikey will probably want to move out on his own, don't you?" I interrupted.

He scoffed and looked over at me as if I were deranged. "Why? Why would he? He's got us to help him. He doesn't pay any rent. He doesn't buy food and he's got two babysitters on-call every day of the week. Why would he ever want to move out?"

I chuckled. "Would you really want to have lived with Rose for the rest of your life? Once you had kids?"

He rolled his eyes. "Sure, why not? She coulda babysat for me, with her bein drunk all the time. It would have been just like it was when I was a kid." He shook his head. "It's not the same thing. We're a hullova lot better parents than ours were."

"That's for sure. Than again, it's not that hard to better than they were."

"Ya. I guess you're right."

We both got lost in our own thoughts then. As we drove along I knew that I was right but I also knew that Bosco's dream of keeping our children with us was a good one, and one that kept him happy and sane.

As we pulled into our driveway, we saw a blue car in our driveway that I didn't recognize. I looked over at Bosco to see if he recognized it but he just shrugged his shoulders. As drove up behind it, a woman looked back in her rearview mirror and then opened her door and got out and turned around.

It was Kath! She looked wonderful. Her hair looked rich and shiny and had grown halfway down her back. She also looked pretty skinny. She wore a pair of black dress pants and a black sweater. She beamed a huge smile at us and waved. Bosco and myself both raised our hands and waved weakly.

"Smile." I said, between my clenched teeth.

"Oh my—" Bosco said, his mouth hanging open. "What is she doing here?" He asked, giving a huge smile out the window, which she had to know was fake. It looked like a hundred watts. I smacked him in the stomach.

"Oooff." He grunted, still smiling stupidly. "What was that for?"

"I called her this morning to see if I could see the baby." I said, unbuckling my seatbelt and grabbing the handle of the door. "Be nice. You're going to meet your third grandchild."

"Okayyyyyyy. Ya didn't have to hit me ya know." He lectured me.

"Oh suck it up you big baby." I said as I opened the door and stepped outside.

"Faith!" Kath called walking over to me. "It's so good to see you. I was so happy that you called!"

"Hi, I'm glad you came. It's been so long, Kath. It's good to see you." I said and embraced her. She looked back toward Bosco and gave him another wave. He waved back and opened his door and called out to her.

"Hey Kath–be with you in a second." He called to her as he got out and went into the back seat to get the baby.

"It's okay. I'm in no hurry." She answered him and then turned back to me. "I have to admit that I was nervous about seeing you again but after you called I knew that I needed to come and see you." She said, smiling sweetly. She reached out and tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear and shook her head, her eyes welling up with tears. "I've missed you, Faith. All of you."

I bowed my head and took a deep breath. "I know. I'm sorry for not doing more for you. I wasn't a good friend and I'm very sorry for the way I handled things–– for the way that Michael handled things. After he signed off his rights to the baby, I just figured that if you wanted to contact us that you would." I said softly, knowing that it wasn't an excuse. "And then the whole Brett and Carly thing happened and the family was torn apart and then the baby—" I stopped abruptly, thinking that maybe she didn't want to hear all of my problems.

"It's okay. I knew about the baby—with Carly, I mean. She called me and told me." She said ruefully, obviously still hurting over the situation. "She told me that Mike had gotten her pregnant. She didn't know that we had broken up or anything. I guess she just wanted to warn me or something."

"Or make you feel bad." I said hotly, not disguising my contempt for her. "She had a boy. His name is Davis and he lives here with us and —". I stopped again, not wanting to tell her that Mikey had moved home with us to be a father to the son he had made with Carly, when he had given up another.

"It's okay, Faith. I'm trying to get over it, but it's hard, ya know. I'm on maternity leave right now but I have to go back in a couple of months and it's hard to think about leaving the—" She stopped in mid sentence and then continued. "I don't expect you to not say something because of Mike. I love your son and I probably always will. I have a part of him with me, always and even though it hurts like hell, I don't want you to try and watch what you say. I know he lives here with you and Maurice and I know that he's a great dad to that baby."

I opened my eyes in shock. "What? You know? How?"

She laughed. "I still have friends at the fifty-fifth. They told me how good he was doin. It hurt at first but then I realized that it's good for him. I always knew that he had a thing for Carly Davis, I just didn't know how much. He's really settling down, huh?"

"Yes. He is and we're really proud of him." I said. "But we wish that things had been different with the two of you. You were the best thing that ever happened to him, Kath. I wish that you two could have been together and raised your kids and all. I wish that he'd of never left you."

"Ya—me too." She said.

"But–" I said, giving her a big smile. "at least you seem to have moved on and found someone new."

"I–uh–new?" She said, not understanding.

Before I could question her on it again Bosco walked over to us carrying Davis. "Hey, it's good to see you!"

She leaned in and gave him an awkward hug and then peered down at the baby. "He's beautiful—just georgous. You must be in love all over again."

"Ya. We sure are." Bosco agreed. "Well? When are we gonna get to meet–" He stopped in mid sentence, not knowing what she had named the baby. "The—little guy?"

"Well, about that—"Kath started, but I interrupted.

"Why don't we all go in the house and have some tea?" I suggested, feeling a bit chilly. I knew that Mikey had a pool tournament after work that would go well into the evening, so we didn't have to chance them running into one another.

"Ya. I'm goin in now and I'll start a pot." Bosco offered as he started toward the front door.

"Can you help me, Faith?" Kath answered as we walked over to the car. She pointed over to the right side of the car and she opened the back door on the left.

"Sure." I answered, following along behind her. The windows of her car were tinted a nice black color and it was hard to see inside, but when I opened the right side passengers door to retrieve the diaper bag for Kath, I got the shock of my life.

"I wanted to tell you—"Kath started, as she saw the confusion written on my face. The only thing I could think of was the message on the answering machine.

"You've reached Kath, Aidan and Owen..."

I laughed out loud as I stared down, delighted and shocked by what I saw. There wasn't one baby seat back there. There was two.