My Fathers Eyes

I wish that I had a camera to take a picture of Bosco's face as Kath and I came into the house with not one but two baby seats. Twins! They were so perfect and beautiful and, now, that boosted our total number of grandchildren to four.

While we were getting the children out of the car I could only grin a mile wide. Two babies! Two perfect, wonderful little boys who were in their sixth month with curly blond hair, which I knew came from my side of the family. They were both dressed in identical pairs of jeans and blue and white sweaters with tiny pairs of blue Nike sneakers. Both had the bluest of eyes and small dimples on each of their plump cheeks. In those eyes I could see their half brother, our little Davis.

"How?" Was the only word I could muster as I unbuckled one baby from the belt and took a hold of the handle of his carrier. "I mean, I know how, but—two of them! How wonderful!"

"I didn't even know I was having twins until the last part of my eighth month." Kath explained, looking somewhat relieved that I was so happy to see my grandchildren. "One was hiding behind the other and the doctor didn't detect the heartbeat until then." She said as she grabbed a hold of the other twin's seat and pulled him out of the car.

"It must be so hard for you to do this by yourself." I commented as we made our way up to the door.

"Ya. It is at times but they are just the best thing that ever happened to me, Faith. I couldn't imagine life without them." She answered.

I opened the front door and set the baby down and held it open for her to pass through. She had a huge blue and red diaper bag slung across her shoulder that looked as though it weighed twenty pounds. But she did have two babies to care for and that took a lot of stuff.

"What do you think Maurice will say when he sees them?" Kath asked in a whisper as we started down the hall.

I turned around and grinned at her and put my finger over my mouth to indicate that we'd just see and not say a word until we had presented the two of them. The two of them!

When we got to the kitchen Bosco was standing back to, putting the kettle on the stove. Davis was sitting in his baby swing that Mikey had brought home for him less than a week previous, asleep with his thumb stuck in his mouth. His head was tilted forward as he slept. We set both of the babies down and looked at each other conspiratorially.

"Hey honey, turn around and take a look at this." I said happily, as Kath took a seat at the island.

"Just a sec." He said as he reached over and turned the burner of the stove on. "I just gotta finish this and we're all set. You want coffee or tea, Kath?" He asked

"Coffee would be great." She answered with a little giggle.

"Bos–you gotta see this." I said.

He turned around and the look of shock on his face was absolutely priceless. His mouth dropped open and he blinked rapidly, looking from one boy to the other. "Wha–what is this?" Was all he could manage to say. He wiped his hand on his t-shirt and walked toward us, a look of incredulity and awe on his handsome face.

"Well, I had twins." Kath said brightly looking over at me and smiling. "I didn't find out until about two weeks before they were born. That's Aidan on the right and the other little fella is Owen" She said proudly.

"I can't believe it!" He said, laughing, really delighted. "Faith! Did you see them? Twins!" He gushed, as he walked over and crouched down to get a good look. They were both awake and looking around the room. "Can I hold one?" He asked, looking up at her.

"Sure." Kath beamed, so happy that we had taken her news so well. She bent down and took Aidan from the carrier and held him up for his grandfather to take. Then she unbuckled Owen and handed him to me.

"Hello, baby boy." I murmured into his blond curls. I kissed his sweet cheek. He smelled so good, like baby powder and shampoo and he felt so good in my arms. I glanced over at his half brother, noting that the three of these children had exactly the same eye color. They all had their fathers eyes.

Oh, I was so happy that day. So happy to be holding my beautiful grandson, who by rights, I should have never been allowed to see. Both Bosco and I had handled the situation with Kath terribly and we didn't deserve to see her children even though they were a part of us. I raised my head and looked at the ceiling and closed my eyes and thanked God for giving us this blessing. I made up my mind right there and then to let Kath know that we would always be here for her and the twins no matter what.

All those months she was alone with no one to depend on. She must have been so sad, so terribly afraid of what was to come and knowing that Mike had got another woman pregnant and was being the father that he should have been to her children must have been a terrible blow to her. And the day that she had come to me for help, the day that she met Carmelle, must have been the worst part of all. I had betrayed Kath with Carmelle and I knew it. And she was still alone. And yet, she was here, giving us the gift that we didn't deserve.

She was raising our grandchildren on her own and goodness knows that was a tough job. And even though Mikey had signed away his rights to what he thought was one baby, it was still our responsibility to have these boys in our lives and for them to be a part of our family.

Despite my feelings of happiness I was starting to feel awfully guilty about how we had let Kath and the boys down. As I watched my husband cradle Aidan, I felt the burn of tears start behind my eyes. We were so horrible to do this to her for so long. We didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve it.

"Wow. He's so beautiful." Bosco said, bending down to give him a kiss on his head. "They both are."

"Thanks."

"So what are their middle names?" I asked curiously.

"Well, this little guy–" Kath said pointing to Bosco. "Is Aidan Michael and the other" She pointed at me " is Owen Maurice."

"What? You're serious?" Bosco almost shouted, grinning from ear to ear. "That was so amazing of you, Kath."

I suddenly felt like crying. Despite our negligence toward her, she had still named her children after their paternal side of the family. "That was wonderful of you." I said.

"And they are both Boscorelli's." Kath replied and then looked away for a second. "I figure that they look more like Mike did when he was a baby. They don't look anything like me and I just figured that they should have their daddy's name even though he isn't around. " She said, looking over at me.

I glanced over at Bosco, who looked like he was about to cry, from either happiness or guilt. He looked away and down at the floor, very effected by what Kath had said. Guilt won out over me.

"Oh, Kath." Was all I could say, as the lump in my throat took over and made it hard for me to speak. My eyes welled up and spilled over. Bosco looked over at me, surprised, and started to walk over to me, but I backed up. I had something to say. I handed Owen to her and held up my hand until I could collect my thoughts.

"Faith—what's wrong?" She asked. "I'm sorry– I shouldn't have mentioned that. It was stupid. I'm sorry." She said, tears welling up in her beautiful eyes, as she held her son and looked over at Bosco for help.

"Sorry? You have nothing to be sorry for." I said brokenly. I shook my head and looked down, ashamed.

"Faith? What's wrong?" Bosco asked gently.

"We don't deserve this. We don't have the right to see your children, Kath. We were horrible to you when you needed us the most—". I had to stop for a second. Kath looked at me, her own tears threatening to break loose.

"Faith–wait—". She said, in a tight voice.

"No—You need to hear this. We need—no, I need to apologize to you for so many things and there is nothing that I can do or say to you that will even compensate for how badly we abandoned you and the boys." I said through my tears.

Bosco walked over and brought me a kleenex and handed it to me. On second thought, he brought back the entire box and handed it over, after taking one for Kath and handing it to her. She took it and dabbed her eyes with it and then sat back down on the stool and looked at me. I think she knew that I needed to do this. I needed to make it right. Bosco took Aidan and sat down at the table, ready to listen. I think he knew that we needed to make amends with Kath. He understood that I could not act like nothing had ever happened.

I wiped my eyes before continuing. "Kath, that day that you came to see us, I had so many other things on my mind. I know now that I betrayed you by letting Carmelle into this house and I can only ask for your forgiveness. I hurt you and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for a lot of things. But most of all, I'm sorry that for the last year I havn't been there for you. I should have been there. I should have made it clear that you were still a part of this family, even if you and Michael aren't together. And if it's not too late, I'd like to extend that invitation now."

I had to stop once again and blow my nose. I was shaking all over and I felt like I was about to throw up, but I also felt like a huge weight had been taken off of me, for finally apologizing to her. It was the right thing to do and you can never go wrong by doing the right thing. I looked up at her, only to see her starting to cry herself. She leaned down and set Owen back in his seat, only to have him let out a cry of protest.

"Give him to me. I'll hold him." Bosco offered. Kath picked Owen back up and handed him to Bosco, who cradled one in his left arm and the other in his right. At once, both boys reached out to each other and their tiny arms flapped back and forth as they talked baby talk.

Kath turned back to me, her green eyes now spilling over, her whole face taught with emotion.

"Faith—"

I held up my hand. "Just one more thing." I said and swallowed again. "I'm going to say something that I should have said to you a long time ago." I bit down on my lower lip, as more tears came down my face. I took a deep breath and tried to talk in my normal voice and failed completely. "I love you—and whenever you need us, if you need us, we'll always be here. And love those little boys even though I just met them. Please forgive me for what I have done to you. I promise that from this moment forward, if you need me, if you'll still have me, I want you to know that I will always consider you my daughter-in-law—if you want—." I couldn't finish my sentence and just held my arms open to her.

She came into my embrace and bowed her head to my shoulder and bawled right along with me. She clung to me tightly and I to her. I felt cleansed and whole again and a sense of renewal that I had so desperately needed. "I love you too." She cried and sniffed. "And I would love to still be a part of your family. I missed you so much these past months. It was so hard for me not to call you but I thought that since Mike didn't want to see me that you wouldn't either."

"Oh, Kath...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." I blatted, hugging her tighter. "We just completely faded out of your life and after Sasha died, and Carly and Brett's stuff, we just didn't have anything left for anyone else."

"I understand. I do." She said.

"Uh oh." Came Bosco's voice from behind us. "You two better stop all your cryin and git over here and do somethin about this."

The two of us let go and turned around and doubled over. Bosco sat shaking his head at us with a look of mock annoyance. "Are ya's just gonna stand there or are ya gonna rescue me?"

Both Kath and I threw back our heads and laughed. "You have a camera?" I asked Kath between giggles.

"I sure do." She replied, bending down to retrieve it from her baby bag.

"Now wait a minute!" Bosco protested from his seat. "You cannot take a picture of this!"

"Do it, Kath!" I urged.

"Say cheese!" Kath ordered Bosco as she snapped a few pictures. "Oh this is going in the family album for sure!" She said playfully.

"A little help please!" Bosco demanded, good naturedly.

It was priceless. Bosco sitting on the kitchen chair covered in mass amounts of baby vomit that went from his chest to his lap. Both boys had decided to give him a little 'gift'.

"You know what that's called, don't you?" I asked as I went to get a cloth.

"No, and what would that be?"

"A Boscorelli tag-team!"