"An Offer He Can't Refuse"

A/N: Wow!! This fic's plothas changed so... much. But don't worry, I've pretty much have it figured out and I'll still update regularly. I'm really excited about this fic, and the next few chapters are actually almost done. I just need to do some editing. So expect some updates soon. Again, I really appreciate the reviews. There is one thing I'm worried about...if I get any of the characters out of character, please tell me. Well, please r&r. Enjoy!!

Disclaimer: I own no characters or plot from Shrek 2, Dreamworks does.

"YOU!!" Shrek yelled in shock and anger. He was tried to run, not wanting to fall any deeper into her trap than he already had, but the Fairy Godmother's two bouncer-like thugs seized his arms before he could get away. Considering that they were both about twice his size, there was not much he could do.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" The Fairy Godmother said with mock bewilderment, "Aren't you happy to be out of prison?"

"What do you want?" Shrek growled, struggling to escape the brutes' grasp, but to no avail.

"Come with me," The Fairy Godmother said sweetly, "and I'll tell you."

The Fairy Godmother flew into her carraige, while the two thugs half led and half dragged Shrek into the carraige behind her. Opposite the Fairy Godmother, Shrek was forced to sit in between them, while the Fairy Godmother smiled in amusement.

"Where could he have gone?" Donkey asked Puss as they left the prison. Shrek wasn't there when they had gone to bail him out, and they were somewhat ticked off by this. They had planned an escape and everything, but since Shrek wasn't there, needless to say it didn't work.

"Are you sure he wasn't in another cell?" Puss asked.

"Of course I'm sure," Donkey retorted, "I saw him there last night when I went to check on him."

"Then he must have escaped," Puss said, "but how could he have?"

"Well, you know Shrek," Donkey said, "He can get out of anything."

"Si, I guess that's true," Puss said.

"What I don't get is why all of those guards were sitting there eating donuts right outside of Shrek's cell," Donkey said, "While they had a prisoner on the loose."

"That's true, too" Puss exclaimed, "He couldn't have escaped. Someone must have bailed him out."

"Who would do that besides us?" Donkey asked.

Right on cue, Donkey and Puss saw and heard the Fairy Godmother's carraige fly right past their heads. It seemed to have just left the prison.

"Well that answers our question as to who bailed him out," Donkey said, "Now, let's go find out why." Donkey ran towards where the carraige was heading, Puss following suit.

Sitting silently in the carraige, the four passengers sat, staring at each other. Shrek had been glaring at the Fairy Godmother, while she continued to smile in amusement. Finally, she broke the silence.

"So...I'm sure you've heard that Fiona and Charming's wedding will take place next week, haven't you?" The Fairy Godmother asked, causing Shrek to wince slightly.

"I figured," Shrek said sadly, although there was more than a little anger in his voice, "Actually, I didn't think you would even bother with a wedding. I figured it would just be easier to use an "Illegally Married Because Fiona Was Forced To Fall In Love" potion instead a conventional wedding. I mean, a wedding is usually only used by people who AREN'T EVIL!!" Shrek yelled angrily. He knew that he must sound very immature, but after all the Fairy Godmother had put him through, he didn't really care whether he was handling things in a mature manner or not. He crossed his arms and sat back in his seat, pouting.

This amused the Fairy Godmother more than anything. She loved the fact that she had struck a chord, and especially loved that the ogre had responded like he had.

"Oh, sweetheart..." The Fairy Godmother said, "there's no reason to be like that. Don't you want what's best for Fiona? I know I do." The Fairy Godmother smiled sweetly.

Shrek rolled his eyes in response. He had heard that line before.

"Yeah right.... I'm sure that was ALL you were thinking about when you planned this whole thing, wasn't it?" Shrek responded sarcastically.

"Well, of course I had to think of my own son, too," The Fairy Godmother replied, "but don't you think that Fiona would be happier with someone who can give her everything she's always wanted?"

"Don't pull that crap on me again," Shrek yelled, "I already fell for it once, and believe me, you can't manipulate me again!!"

"I'm sorry to hear that," The Fairy Godmother said in a way that sent a shiver up Shrek's spine.

"Why do you care, anyway?" Shrek asked, "You already got what you wanted."

"Well, you see pigeon...." The Fairy Godmother said, "the only reason I care is because I want Fiona and Charming to be married."

"Ok...so...." Shrek said, not understanding what the Fairy Godmother was getting at.

"And the only thing standing in the way of that," The Fairy Godmother continued, "Is you."

Shrek thought about this for a moment. He thought of all the reasons he would be able to keep Charming from marrying Fiona.

"Does she remember me?" Shrek said, his hopes rising.

"Oh, don't flatter yourself," The Fairy Godmother said somewhat cruelly, "She hasn't even mentioned you ever since the ball."

Shrek's hope deflated.

"What I was talking about," The Fairy Godmother continued, "Is the fact that Fiona is still married to you, although she doesn't know it. Therefore, she cannot marry Charming yet......"

"And you think I'm going to help you out?" Shrek asked.

"I'll leave it up to you," The Fairy Godmother said with a challenge in her voice, "But either you help us....."

The Fairy Godmother looked to her two thugs, who had begun to crack their knuckles.

"Or we help ourselves" The Fairy Godmother said.

Shrek looked warily from the Fairy Godmother, to the thugs, and back.

"Oh yeah, well...." Shrek said as he started to stand up, but was cut off as one of the brutes pulled him back into his seat.

"I can take you," Shrek growled as he looked up at the thug, who looked to be about a foot taller than Shrek.

The carraige came to a stop at the Fairy Godmother's cottage. The two brutes seized Shrek's arms again, and forced him out of the carraige.

"Why don't we talk about this over tea?" The Fairy Godmother said sweetly, a wicked smile spreading across her face. It wouldn't be long now........

As Donkey and Puss neared the cottage, they noticed The Fairy Godmother get out of her carraige. Quickly, they hid behind a fallen log. When they saw Shrek being dragged out of the carraige by two extremely large men, Puss drew his sword and began to run to Shrek's aid.

"Woah, Puss," Donkey said, "You can't just run up and fight the Fairy Godmother with your little stick."

"But Boss needs help," Puss objected, "And the Fairy Godmother strikes no fear into Puss in Boots!!"

"Yeah, well, that evil witch will turn you into ' Mutt in Boots ' if you try to fight her now," Donkey said.

This shut Puss up. He ducked down behind the fallen log again.

"We have to find out why she brought Shrek here," Donkey said with authority, "Then we can figure out how to get him out."

Puss nodded in agreement and the two made their way towards the Fairy Godmother's cottage.

A/N: Can anybody figure out what the Fairy Godmother is going to do? Hmm.....