A World Without Ramen

Chapter 1: The Plan

As a first note, in this Fan Fiction, you will come across Kabuto and his enjoyment of eating toast. The reason behind this is an inside joke at school, in which a friend of mine came to school one day dressed as Kabuto. This friend of mine has this overwhelming obsession with toast, so that's how the combination of Kabuto and toast came about, and I thought it would be a funny twist to add to this Fan Fiction.

"I've done it!" shouted Orochimaru. "It's finally finished! For a long time, I have been searching for a way to defeat Konoha, and now I've found it!"

"You're going to take Sauske, give him an overdose of the curse, and make him go on a mad killing rampage of doom, correct?" Kabuto asked from a nearby room.

"No, I've given up on Sauske." Orochimaru replied. "Now I shall pursue Naruto!"

"Really?" asked Kabuto in a curious voice with a raised eyebrow.

"Not like that you sick-ass pervert!" shouted Orochimaru. "Sauske wouldn't help at all with this scheme. I shall use this time machine I have just built, to travel back in time, and prevent the creation of ramen!" Orochimaru said then gave an evil laugh.

"But wouldn't it be easier just to go back in time and kill Naruto as an infant before the Kyuubi was sealed inside him, therefore allowing the Kyuubi to demolish Konoha?" inquired Kabuto.

"That's what you'd expect me to do!" replied Orochimaru angrily. "I'm an evil ninja! I'm supposed to do stupid and illogical things, It's like frickin' tradition!"

"Whatever, if you need me, I'll be eating toast in the kitchen." replied Kabuto in a confused tone and walked off.

Orochimaru gave another evil laugh. "And now, for the finishing touches!" he said quietly.

Flash

The lights had suddenly gone out.

"Oh crap! How the hell am I supposed to paint the time machine in the dark?" complained Orochimaru. "KABUTO, COME HERE!" he shouted at the top of his lungs.

"Sorry, can't hear you," replied Kabuto, "too busy enjoying my toast!"

"Dammit Kabuto, now I'll have find the paint can myself!" Orochimaru shouted. "Lazy-ass bum…" he said as his voice trailed off. For nearly five minutes, Orochimaru shuffled through the darkness trying to find the can of black paint.

Clash

Orochimaru had tripped over something and fell face-first onto the ground. "Dammit!" he shouted and slammed his hands onto the ground and pushed himself up and onto his feet. He reached around to find the item that he has tripped over. While feeling around, he picked a medium-sized, cylinder-shaped, metal item with a liquid swishing around inside. He picked it up and shook it a few times, "Ha ha, I found it! I found the paint can!" Orochimaru shouted proudly holding the paint can over his head. It took him another five or ten minutes to find the time machine. After he had completed that task, he hastily pulled a paint can opener from his pocket opened up the can of paint, and spewed it all over the time machine. After the paint can had been emptied, Orochimaru tossed it carelessly over his shoulder.

Flash

The lights had suddenly turned back on. Orochimaru quickly shielded his eyes from the blinding light with his arm.

"Umm…Orochimaru-sama," Kabuto inquired with his hand near the light switch, "did you paint the time machine?"

"Why yes I did!" Orochimaru replied proudly pointing to himself.

"Then why is it…" Kabuto began.

"Painted black?" Orochimaru interrupted. "I thought it would be nice evil touch."

"Black?" asked Kabuto in a surprised voice. "Is pink the new black?"

"PINK!" shouted Orochimaru as his eyes shot open to the sight of the pink-painted time machine. His jaw dropped all the way down to his feet. "It's…painted…pink!" Orochimaru said in a 'WTF' tone with his shaking finger pointed at the time machine.

"Who cares what color it is, as long as it works." said Kabuto who was laughing so hard he could hardly stand upright.

"Shut up!" Orochimaru replied in a depressed tone.

"Ok," began Kabuto while slowly ushering Orochimaru toward the time machine, "you know what you're going to do, right?"

"Right." replied Orochimaru in a disappointed voice.

"And you how you're going to do it, right?" Kabuto asked slowly.

"Right." answered Orochimaru.

"And you've thought out every single microscopic detail of this operation so it will be executed without any faults or flaws, right?" Kabuto asked quickly.

"Uhhh…" Orochimaru drooled with his head tilted to one side and a blank stare on his face.

"Oh hell, just go already!" Kabuto shouted and pushed Orochimaru into the time machine.

Realizing what had happened; Orochimaru sat in front of the console and adjusted the settings. "Year: 5000 B.C., Location: Middle East." Orochimaru said programming the year and location into the time machine. "All systems go!" he shouted and slammed the palm of his hand into a large red button.

Flash

The time machine disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving Kabuto staring where the time machine was. Kabuto gave a smirk. "ALRIGHT, TOAST TIME!" he shouted excitedly, whipping his arms around in the air as he ran straight into the kitchen.

Next Chapter: -Someone Has Lost Their Noodles-

This is my first chapter story, so it's going to be a little tough to write. But if you have any suggestions for Chapter 2, please tell me, I will definitely take them into consideration while writing it. So please review, thank you very much!