Disclaimer: Nope. Can't say that I own Trigun. So if you decide for some random reason that you feel like sueing me, I shall just sue you back for child abandonment. o.O

Random Conspiracies and Bar Parties

Chapter 4 - The Revenge of Afro Man

Sephy: -runs off to fetch kegs and Legato's lifetime supply of hotdogs.-

Everyone minus Knives & Legato: -still staring at Vash's poofy pink afro.- O.O

Knives: -still rolling around on the floor laughing his brains out.-

Legato: -daydreaming about his hot dogs.-

Vash: WAAAAAAAAAH! YOU'RE ALL SO CRUEL! -goes running into the bathroom.-

Midvalley: Genius! Pure genius! You thought of that Knives?

Knives: -wiping tears from his eyes.- Yeah. Except for the afro part. That was all Legato.

Dominique: Way to go Legato!

Legato: Hot dogs...

Everyone: o.O Okay....

Millie: I think we should give Mr. Vash a big squeaky clown nose and big floppy shoes!

Wolfwood: I think that just might kill him.

--------------------------------In the Bathroom----------------------------------

Vash: -sniffling.- I hate you Legato, formerly known as Jones, formerly known as Legato! I'll get even! And that's a promise! -looks in the mirror, and a wicked grin slowly creeps across his face.- Oh. I know just how to exact my revenge on you, Legato. Two can play at this game. MWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Vash slipped out of the bar unnoticed, which was a surprise, 'cause c'mon, who's not gonna notice a guy with a hot pink poofy afro?, and high-tailed it over to Knives' evil lair.

--------------------------------Back at the Bar--------------------------------

Meryl: -knocks on the bathroom door.- Vash, you can come out now. Vash? Are you in there? C'mon, it's funny! We're not laughing at you, we're laughing with you!

Everyone, including Meryl: -sniggers.-

Meryl: Vash, unless you answer me right now I'm going to barge in there!

Wolfwood: -quietly.- And then she'll lock the door behind her.

Zazie: -cackles.-

Meryl: -THWAP.-

Wolfwood & Zazie: OWIE!

Meryl: Go suck a dead thomas.

Millie: GASP! Sempai! Watch your language!

Meryl: Pudding.

Millie: WHERE?!?!?! -starts running around in circles around the bar at 150 mph.-

Everyone: x.X Dizzeh....

Vash: -twirls into the bar.- (A/N: Yes. Twirls.)

Knives: o.O Weren't you in the bathroom?

Vash: Maybe.

Wolfwood: What's that supposed to mean?

Vash: Oh, nothing...

Millie: So do you like your new afro now, Mr. Vash?

Vash: No, I don't like it. But I've come to terms with it. After all, -adjusts his collar smugly.- I'm secure in my masculinity!

Meryl: -twitch.- What masculinity? You're an overgrown baby!

Vash: -sniffle.- Meanie!

Legato: Ahem.

Knives: What is it, minion?

Legato: I must go back to the lai...house to freshen up. I must look my best when my promised lifetime supply of hotdogs arrives.

Knives: Okay then. Bye? o.O

Gung-Ho-Guns: Bye Leggy!

Legato: -twitch.- Sayonara. -leaves.-

Dominique: I'm bored.Why's no one running the bar?

Wolfwood: Indeed!

Dominique: Ugh. Never send a man to do a woman's job!

Meryl & Millie: Amen!

Dominique: -goes into the back room for a minute, then comes back out dressed in a grass skirt, coconuts, and leis (A/N: No idea how to spell that.).-

All Males Present: รด.O

Meryl & Millie: -blink.-

Dominique: Well somebody has to take charge of this bar, and it might as well be me. Now. Who's going to be the barmaid?

Millie: Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me! Pick me!

Dominique: Alright. Millie, you shall be the barmaid.

Millie: JOY! -runs in the back and comes out in a skimpy barmaid outfit.-

Wolfwood: -drools.-

Vash: -cackles at Wolfwood.-

Wolfwood: -too busy ogling to notice.-

Meryl: Wolfwood, put your eyes back in your head.

Wolfwood: Oi, barmaid! I'll give you free pudding if you come and sit in my lap.

Millie: O.O PUDDING!!! AND WOLFY! OH HAPPY DAY! -jumps onto Wolfwood's lap.-

Wolfwood: Oof. I'm happy. -naughty grin.-

Vash: Knives, you've been in that jacuzzi so long I think your starting to turn into a prune.

Knives:....Vash.

Vash: What?

Knives: The scary part is, you're right. The scarier part is, the jacuzzi is filled with straws and not water. O.O

Vash: Dun dun dun.

Everyone: o.O

Just then, screaming was heard outside.

Familiar Voice: I SHALL KILL YOU VASH THE STAMPEDE! YOU ARE DOOMED!

Vash: -rolls around on the floor cackling.- THAT'S WHAT YOU GET BLUEBOY!

Legato: -enters, his eye bugging out of his head in rage.-

Knives: -stares at Legato's hair.- My God...

Meryl: I think it looks nice.

Legato: -twitch.- I hate you.

Meryl: Who doesn't?

Millie: -raises hand.- I don't!

Legato: -turns on Vash.- How dare you?!?!

Vash: How dare I?!?!?! How dare you!!!!

Vash & Legato: -begin a glaring contest.-

Dominique: -was below the counter and so hasn't yet seen what Vash did to Legato's hair.- Huh? What's going on?

Midvalley: Vash got revenge on Legato by putting bleach in Legato's shampoo, thus turning his hair from dark blue to a light aqua.

Legato: I'M GOING TO KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL YOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!

Vash: -bitchslaps Legato across the face.-

Everyone: -GASP.-

Legato: Oh NO YOU JUST DIDN'T!

Vash: -puts his hands on his hips.- OH YES I JUST DID!

Knives: Hey, cool it!

Vash: DON'T INTERRUPT US, KNIVES-CHAN!

Knives: -vein pulses in temple.-

Legato: Oh now you done it.

Knives: CHAN?!?!?!? WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF CALLIN' ME CHAN, BITCH?!

Vash: SINCE I FOUND OUT ABOUT YOUR SEX CHANGE!

Legato: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gung-Ho-Guns: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wolfwood: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Meryl & Millie: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sephy: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Crowd of Screaming Knives Fangirls: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Crowd of Screaming Legato Fangirls: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Crowd of Screaming Vash Fangirls: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Crowd of Screaming Other Male Character Fangirls: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Pedestrians on the Street Outside: GASP! O.O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Readers: GASP! O.O !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Authoress: ENOUGH WITH THE GASPING ALREADY!

Knives: . VAAAAAAAASSSSSSHHHIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE! WHO TOLD YOU! WAS IT REM?!?!? I TOLD HER NOT TO TELL ANYONE!!!!!

Vash: O.O You've been like this for THAT LONG?!?!

Knives: -covers his face with his hands and runs out of the bar.-

Sephy: Wait Almighty Godly Master...er...Mistress!!! -runs after Knives.-

Legato: -falls into a chair.- All this time...

Monev: We never knew. o.o

Meryl: -twitchtwitchtwitchtwitchtwitchtwitch.-

Wolfwood: I personally think it explains a lot.

Meryl: Wolfwood. Shut up.

Wolfwood: Shutting up.

Millie: What? Why's everyone so upset? I for one am glad that Mr. Knives found his true calling.

Everyone: -falls over.-

A/N: Well? What do you think? The language is a bit stronger. But I think it adds to the funniness. Or maybe I'm just off my rocker. Anyway. Sorry about taking so long to update. I had a tiny writer's block. But the Faerie of Creativity has slapped me with her wand and I'm already working on Chapter 5.