Today's Insanity Check brought to you by...my lovely room. I'm laying in bed... looking at the stars...when I wonder...
Where did my roof go?

Tales of Symphonia/Alice in Wonderland Fanart Status:
You don't care, but I found another one! Wheeee!

Ba-da-ba-pa-da, Disclaimer time
Urby owns nothing. Not even the McDonalds jingle. I'm not lovin' it.

It must have been rather strange to see them on the bank-the birds with feathers sopping wet, the animals looking freakishly thin with their fur hugging their sides, all soaked, fuming, and uncomfortable.

The first thing that came into their heads was how on the world they would get dry again. After a while, Sheena found herself talking to them like they were old friends, ones she'd known all her life. In fact, she got into a rather passionate argument with the Lory, who finally sulked and would say nothing more than "I am older than you, so I must know better." Sheena tried to get the exact age, but the Lory seemed to be intent on keeping her in the dark.

Then the Mouse, who seemed to be an important person, shouted, "Sit down, all of you! Listen to me! I'll get you all dry soon enough." So all the animals gathered around the Mouse in a large ring, some coughing, some complaining that he'd better get on with it or they'd catch a cold.

"Ahem! Are you all ready? This is the driest thing I know. Silence all round, if you please!" the Mouse said in an important air. "William the Conqueror, whose cause was favored by the pope, was soon submitted to by the English, who wanted leaders, and had been of late rather boggled down by usurpation and conquest. Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria-"

"Egads!" said the Lory with a shiver.

"Beg pardon!" the Mouse frowned, but spoke very politely. "Did you say something?"

"Not I!" the Lory coughed hastily.

"I thought you did...anyway-Edwin and Morcar, the earls of Mercia and Northumbria, sent for him: and even Stigand, the patriotic archbishop of Canterbury, found it advisable-"

"Found what?" questioned the Duck.

"Found it," the Mouse snapped. "Of course you know what 'it' means."

"I know what 'it' means rather well, when I find a thing," the Duck explained, "it's generally a frog or a worm. The question is, what did the archbishop find?"

The Mouse ignored the question, and went on, "-found it advisable to go with Edgar Atheling to meet William and offer him the crown. William's conduct at first was moderate. But the insolence of his Normans...any better, dear?" it turned to Alice as it spoke.

"Didn't help at all," she admitted.

"Well!" the Dodo declared, rising, "I say that the meeting adjourn, for the immediate adoption of more energetic remedies..."

"Oi! Speak English!" the Eaglet cried. "I don't know any of those long words, and I doubt you do either!" some laughter ensued.

"Kids these days!" the Dodo tossed his hair impatiently. "What I was saying was before I was so rudely interrupted, the best way to get us all dry would be to have a Caucus race."

"And that is...?" Sheena asked, even though she didn't really want to know, but the Dodo had paused as if he expected someone to speak, and no one seemed to feel up to it.

"Ah, Sheena!" the Dodo/Zelos piped brightly. "Looking fabulous today, I must say..."

"Oh, get on with the explanation!" the Eaglet blurted, for he didn't know what it was either.

"Oh, goodness, not you again!" Zelos tapped a foot impatiently. "Well, the best way to explain it is to do it."

Now, in case you feel like try it yourself when you're bored, here's how they did it.

First they drew a large circle-thing for the race course (the exact shape doesn't matter, really) and all the animals were placed on various spots on said circle-thing. No one yelled "Go!" but everyone ran when they felt like it, stopped when they felt like it, walked, chatted, stood on their head, whatever, so it was rather difficult to see when the race was over.

They had been at it for about a half hour when the Dodo yelled "Stop!"

"But who won?" the animals asked, crowding around him.

The Dodo considered this for a while, with one finger/feather pressed on his forehead. The rest watched him in silence. At last he said "Everybody won, so everyone has to have prizes."

Many cheered, but once again the Eaglet cried, "But who's gonna give out the prizes?"

"Why not her?" Zelos pointed to Sheena. The animals swarmed her, yelling "Prizes! Prizes!"

Sheena reached into her ribbon out of desperation (for there wasn't a single thing in her pockets), and found a small box of rice crackers. There was exactly one for all the animals.

"But you have to have a prize too, my dear," said the Mouse.

"Of course," the Dodo replied gravely. "Anything else in that ribbon of yours?"

"Just a thimble," said she, glumly.

"Hand it over," the Dodo ordered.

They all crowded around them, while the Dodo solemnly presented the thimble, saying "We beg your acceptance of this elegant thimble"; and when he finished this rather short speech, a cheer went up from the crowd.

Now here poor Sheena is thinking all this to be rather absurd, what with the race and the thimble and Zelos being a dodo ("Although it suits him, really," she thought) but she couldn't think of anything to say, so she bowed and took the thimble while trying to look as serious as she could.

The next thing everyone did was eat the crackers, but it caused quite a hubbub: the large birds claimed they had no taste, the small ones choked on theirs. Finally, it was over, and they all sat down in a ring and demanded the Mouse tell them another story.

"You said you'd tell me your story," Sheena reminded the Mouse. "About why you hate...C and D..." she coughed, not wanting to offend it again.

"Mine is a long and a sad tale!" sighed the Mouse.

"It is a long tail," she remarked, looking down at the Mouse's tail. "But why do you call it sad?"

She kept thinking about this while the Mouse told his story, so her idea of it went like this:

Hem, hem! The following may not show up due to weird formatting...the following is supposed to be in the shape of a mouse's tail. If it doesn't show up, just think like an S with five 'bends'.

"Fury said to a

mouse, That he

met in the

house,

'Let us

both go to

law: I will

prosecute

YOU. --Come,

I'll take no

denial; We

must have a

trial: For

really this

morning I've

nothing

to do.'

Said the

mouse to the

cur, 'Such

a trial,

dear Sir,

With

no jury

or judge,

would be

wasting

our

breath.'

'I'll be

judge, I'll

be jury,'

Said

cunning

old Fury:

'I'll

try the

whole

cause,

and

condemn

you

to

death.'

"You are not paying attention!" the Mouse huffed. "What are you thinking of?"

"Oh, sorry!" Sheena stammered. "You got around to the fifth bend, I think?"

"I had not!" the Mouse snapped.

"A knot!" Alice declared, trying to make herself useful. "Oh, please help me undo it!" she looked about anxiously.

"You insult me by talking such nonsense!" the Mouse growled, getting up and walking away.

"I didn't mean it!" pleaded the girl, "but you're so easily offended, you know!"

The Mouse harrumphed in reply.

"Come back and finish your story!" she cried after it, and the others joined in with "Yes, please do!" but the Mouse simply walked away a little faster.

"Pity it couldn't stay," the Dodo sighed.

An old Crab said to her daughter, "Don't you ever lose your temper, now!"

"Hold your tongue, Ma!" the young Crab snapped. "You're enough to try the patience of an oyster!"

"Oh, if only Corrine was here," Sheena mused, to no one in particular, "he'd bring him back right quick!"

"Who is this Corrine?" the Lory asked.

Sheena perked up, relieved to have a chance to recall something about her home: "Corrine's our cat. Oh, he's a master at catching mice! Oh, oh, he's fantastic at chasing birds! Why, he'll eat a little bird as soon as look at it!"

The remark sent a great pandemonium among the crowd. The old Magpie wrapped itself up very carefully, remarking, "I really must be getting home; might catch a chill, you know!" and a Canary called out in a trembling voice to its children, "Come now, my dears! Bedtime!"

The Dodo eeeked and tried to take off majestically off the shore.

But, as you might know, dodos are flightless.

So poor Zelos fell flat on his nose.

Beak.

Whatever.

"You alright?" Sheena couldn't help asking.

"Fine, fine, nothing to see here," Zelos muttered, trying to get his beak out of the dirt. "Wow, I can see why these birds went extinct!"

"Here, let me help you," Sheena grabbed his tail and yanked on it.

"Ow! No, no! Stop that!" Zelos whined, flailing about.

"I'm almost there!" Sheena pulled a little harder. "Just...hang on!"

Zelos the Dodo popped out of the ground with...well, a pop. Insert cricket chirp here. For more stupid insect interruptions, go read Twists of Fate please.

"Well!" Zelos coughed. "I guess I can't get off this place. Might as well go inland. See ya later?"

"Sure," Sheena shrugged.

"You keep looking great, okay?" Zelos winked and wombled off.

In a little while, however, she heard some pitter-pattering of footsteps in the distance. Was it the Mouse, coming back to finish his story?

She ran over to find out.