Blending In
12



". . .and then she ran off screaming that she didn't know why she was ever attracted to me! I wish you were there to see it, it was hilarious at the time."
"At the time?" The sound of Greg's laughter nearly drowned out the other sounds of other patrons. "You've got to be kidding me! And she thought you were really puking one up?"
"Yup." Tonkeshin drew the smoothie straw into his mouth for a long slurp. The different flavors tickled his palate. He licked his lips slowly, savoring the taste. "Mm, I've got to find out the recipe for this thing."
"Geez, ease up or you'll look like me. That's your third smoothie!"
"Don't blame me for them being so good." He faced Greg's voice and grinned. "Besides, aren't you on your fourth serving of shrimp?"
Brief silence.
"Touché."
Greg's fork clanked down on the wooden tabletop.
Tonk swirled the straw around his empty glass, lifted it and slurped the remaining flavor off the bottom. He sighed deeply in satisfaction. "Ooh, I think that's enough for me."
"Heh."
The amused expression melted from Tonkeshin's face. Now that he'd unwound from the day's events he was able to really think about everything. He stared down towards the tabletop and chewed absently on his straw.
Greg shifted, making the upholstery in the booth creak. "Something wrong, buddy?"
"Mmph." He put the straw down.
"C'mon. I know that look. What's up?"
"I feel kind of guilty for what I did." Tonkeshin's smooth brow knit. He put the tip of the straw back into his mouth and bit down.
Greg snorted, "You're kidding me!"
Tonkeshin sighed, but smiled a little. "I wasn't in my right mind when I scared her like that. I needed someone to blow up at and she just happened to be there. What if she becomes so upset she does something to hurt herself?"
"I can't believe you feel guilty over this." A huff from Greg showed his displeasure. "She deserved what she got after taking your cane."
"Yet she didn't realize I wouldn't chase her." Tonkeshin stood up and unfolded his cane. "I'm going to go apologize to her. Any idea where she's staying?"
More silence. Tonk suspected Greg was shaking his head at him. "Sometimes I swear your conscience runs in overdrive. Anyway, you don't have to worry about finding Carol. She's been standing outside the window with a cigarette for the past ten minutes."
He went on, "Want me to come with you? In case she freaks?"
A shake of Tonkeshin's head indicated a 'no'.
"Everybody has a reason for behaving the way they do. Whether it be how they were brought up or some other event in their lives. It's possible that Carol wasn't always like this."
"Tch, go on then. Just don't whine to me if she decides to stalk you again." The irritation in Greg's voice didn't escape Tonk's notice.
Tonkeshin rolled his eyes. Something he knew people did when they were annoyed. He touched the back of Greg's chair to confirm his sense of direction and headed towards the door.
Blasts of cool night air greeted him when he stepped outside. Sounds of chatter, clinking silverware and scraping chairs all faded behind the glass door.
Tonk shorelined from the door to the corner of the building. Cigarette smoke permeated his nose. Carol wasn't far away.
"Carol?"
Someone exhaled noisily. Tonkeshin almost missed it because of the surf in the background. More smoke swirled past his nostrils. He wrinkled his nose.
Footsteps scraped the sand.
"Is that you, Carol?"
"Nope," An elderly male voice said, "There's a lady around the corner though, if that's who you're looking for."
"Thanks."
The smoky scent continued on by. Tonk heard the door open and close behind him. He steeled himself, gripped the handle of his cane a little tighter and padded softly around the corner, one hand on the wall so he wouldn't smash his shoulder on the hard bricks.
"You've got some nerve to come out here after today." Carol said angrily. The turpentine scent of a martini wafted off either her breath or from a drink in her hand. He couldn't tell which, but he knew it was pretty strong. "What you did was humiliating."
Tonk hung his head. "Yeah, I know. That's why I came out here. To apologize for how I acted."
Carol huffed and gulped, confirming his suspicions about her martini. "I bet that fat asshole put you up to this."
"No, actually he tried to discourage me from coming out."
She puffed angrily on her cigarette. "Why should I believe you? You were laughing your ass off, Tonkeshin!"
"At the time it was funny. I'd had a hellish day and you just happened to be the release. I feel bad about that, Carol. Honestly, if I was thinking clearly I wouldn't have been so rude. I had hoped we could just sit down and talk about what's going on between us."
"What's to talk about?"
Tonk ventured towards Carol's voice. He flipped his cane into the pencil grip and leaned on the rough wooden table where she was sitting. "Well, getting infatuated with me was probably a big mistake. Mostly it's my fault for running like a scared toddler instead of just confronting you right away. I feel like I led you on when that wasn't my intention."
There was a last puff, then scraping as Carol snuffed her cigarette out on the tabletop. "Could've fooled me. I never imagined you being a shy guy. Humph. You probably hate me now anyway."
"No, that's why I'm here. To patch things up. Otherwise we'd just be uncomfortable around each other at work and every other place we happen to meet." Tonkeshin stared ahead. The scent from her drink made his nose itch. "I just don't want to ignore you and later find out you went crazy and killed yourself or something. Then I'd really feel horrible."
No answer. Just the surf sizzling and hissing against the sand.
Tonk was beginning to think Carol left, but she finally spoke, "Do you really cough up eggs to have babies?"
"Uh-huh." He folded his cane and decided to sit down. Putting the cane in his back pocket, he clasped his hands on the tabletop.
"Does it hurt?"
"I imagine so. Haven't tried it myself, yet. Maybe someday in the future." A cool breeze made his antennae twitch. "I've heard someone else lay eggs though. Sounds pretty painful."
"I think you'd make a great dad." Her freezing cold hands touched lightly against his knuckles.
Tonkeshin instinctively enfolded her fingers between his palms to warm them. Something he always used to do for newborns when they caught a chill. Taking care of babies on Namek was one of his favorite duties. He clearly remembered how, on a really hot day, little Cargo hatched right into his arms while he was turning his egg. The first time he ever witnessed the miracle of birth.
Then there was a quiet hiss of exhaled breath. Carol moved her fingers gently against his palms. "You have such strong hands."
Warmth entered his cheekbones. "Hm. . .never really thought of them like that."
Another long silence. The ocean's hiss made everything else seem miles away. Even the diner less than ten feet away.
"I want to have a baby," Carol sighed. The way her monologue came out suggested she had her head turned. Her words were slurring a little, she was drunk. "But last year I found out I can't." Her voice cracked. "I was hoping for a miracle. That a one night stand might get lucky. God, I'm so stupid, aren't I?"
A frown creased Tonkeshin's brow. "Why can't you have kids?"
She didn't answer for a long time. There was only quiet, muffled sobs. Then she whispered, "I got pregnant while I was in high school. My parents would've kicked me out of the house if they found out, so I went to a disgusting back-alley clinic and had an abortion. I never told anybody, not even my best friends. But the technician. . .my specialist said the technician scraped out too much with dirty instruments. It caused an infection and scarring. It's called Asherman's Syndrome or something like that."
The cool hands between Tonk's palms clasped together. "And here I thought acting like a slut would bring out a miracle. 'Oh boy, if human men don't work, let's try Tonkeshin! Maybe he'll have some magical cure!'"
Another pause. Bitter laughter. "I don't know why I just told you all that. You probably don't even care."
"Of course I care." Tonkeshin squeezed Carol's hands. "I'm sorry to hear about your problems, but I'm glad you told me about them. Now I know your intentions weren't entirely malicious. . .Carol," He patted her wrists to get her attention.
"What?"
"I forgive you, okay? Don't beat yourself up. Why don't we just forget this ever happened and be friends again? I know it won't fix your infertility problems, but at least we'll both feel a little better about what happened between us."
"But I still have feelings for you, Tonkeshin. That won't just go away."
Tonk closed his eyes and sighed softly through his nose. "Carol, you know I can't return your feelings the way you want me to."
Carol pulled a hand free. The other gripped his left hand tightly. "I know." She sobbed, "That's what makes it so hard. I'm glad you can't see me right now, I look like a wreck. . ."
"That's the advantage of hanging around with me." He smiled, trying to make her feel better. "I wouldn't notice if you had potatoes coming out of your nose unless you told me."
The joke worked. Her sobbing hitched into a faint giggle, then resumed. "Stop making me laugh while I'm crying."
"Sorry, won't happen again."
More sniffles and giggles mixed with sobs. "This is why I like you so much. It's impossible to feel bad for long when you're around. How do you stay so happy all the time?"
"Well I. . ." It really wasn't an easy question to answer. Being jovial and in a good mood was just in Tonkeshin's nature.
He chose his words carefully, "I guess I just don't see a reason to dwell on whatever goes wrong in my life.
"If my cane catches in a crack and breaks while I'm walking to work, I could easily be angry and stew over it for the rest of the day, which would just make the workday miserable. Or I could just be mad for an instant and laugh at how silly I must look while I fumble my way back home to get the spare. An adventure like that makes for good stories to tell over lunch anyway.
"Come to think of it," Tonk grinned, "heh, heh, I must've looked pretty goofy walking down the beach with my head hanging to my chest."
Carol laughed quietly between sobs. She pulled her other hand free. Tonkeshin heard her clothing rustle on the bench. Then the gurgling hiss as she blew her nose. More sniffing, though this time her nose sounded clearer than before.
An odd silence came between them after that. Mostly there was just noises from Carol fiddling with a compact and the contents of whatever bag she was carrying. She eventually went quiet. He could feel her eyes staring at him.
"What is it?"
Carol replied, "You're looking right at my eyes. Even from up close, I almost forgot you're - "
"Oh." Tonkeshin felt warmth slither into his cheeks. "If it bothers you, I can look somewhere else."
"No, don't."
Another quiet instant.
Carol seemed to be toiling internally with something. When she spoke again, her voice carried an odd tone. Somewhat husky, but subdued and reserved at the same time. "Tonkeshin?"
"Hm?"
"Let me kiss you." She cut him off before he could reply, "Please. Just once. I'll never ask you again after this. Just one time, that's all."
The fire burned hotter behind Tonkeshin's face. His antennae twitched. He hoped it was too dark outside for Carol to see his face. Doubtful, considering she fixed her makeup.
Though the thought of kissing made Tonk uncomfortable, he pondered going through with it. Carol was so sad, he felt he owed it to her after all the grief he caused her during the afternoon.
"Okay." He resigned himself, stood up and walked to her side of the table. "But forgive me if I'm clumsy. I've never done this before."
"Don't worry about it." Carol got to her feet as well.
Tonkeshin just stood there. Suddenly two arms wrapped around him, soft fingers interlocking against the back of his neck. He honestly didn't know what to do, and just allowed Carol to pull his head down to her level. There was a brief bombardment of her martini-cigarette breath. Tonk struggled not to show his displeasure towards the smell.
Then her moist lips touched lightly on his. He opened his mouth a little(something Greg said he should do when a girl kisses him) and just let Carol do all the work. Her lips molded his to her will. No tongues, which he was glad for.
Just when Tonkeshin thought the moment would never end, Carol pulled back. Her hands removed themselves from the back of his neck. She backed away a step.
"Your lips are soft."
"Thanks. Uhh, yours are very wet. . .um, I mean, slippery. . .uhhh," Tonk blinked. That didn't sound right! He rubbed the back of his head and grinned sheepishly. His entire face felt like it was on fire. "I mean, ah shoot, it wasn't too bad."
Carol chuckled self-consciously. "Well I hope you remember it for a long time. I sure will."
"Yeah, I suppose so."
"I guess I should go now. It's getting cold out and I don't have my sweater with me." She gathered up whatever belongings she'd set down on the tabletop. "I'll be at the Tournament to watch you fight."
"Cool, I hope I do good." Tonk smiled and raised a hand to wave. "Bye, Carol, drink a lot of water so you don't get a hangover."
"I will."
Then she was gone. Her footsteps retreated until the surf shrouded them from his hearing. He faced the ocean and swiped the back of his hand across his mouth.
Tonk was glad he made Carol happy, even if it cost him some of his dignity. One less thing to worry about before the Tournament.
Carol would have something happy to remember.
Tonk didn't have the heart to tell her his memory of their kiss would only consist of having his neck pulled down at an uncomfortable angle and the nasty smell of her breath just before her slick lips planted themselves on his.
And then came the applause of an entire diner full of people that witnessed the event.

Author's note: Yeah I know, angsty chapter eh?

Pleaaaaaaaaaaase don't be all mad at me for having Tonk and Carol make up. I didn't want her to be a cookie cutter antagonist that's just out there to be a pain in the butt. I also wanted to prove that forgiveness can mend many wounds. It doesn't make things okay, but it shows you're willing to move on.

Don't worry, the action will be picking up soon. smile