Disclaimer: I do not own any of this (well, maybe some of the plot and a few characters, and the comp being used to type this, but other than that, nada!). I wish I did… I do own the Draco and Sirius in my head however.
A/N: I hope you like this; it's based on those very secret diaries and Harry Potter. I worked hard on it, I have to write it because another story I'm working on references to this lol so I had to do it!
The Very Secret Diary of Lucius Malfoy
It was half way into summer vacation, and Draco Malfoy was bored, VERY bored. Honestly, what could a kid with an army of house elves at his bidding, a house big enough to hold half of Hogwarts, loads of money, everything he wanted, and his own Quidditch team, have to do in the summer! It's no wonder Draco was bored. So he decided to do what all kids do when they're bored! Pester someone! He went to his desk and pulled out a long piece of parchment. It was titled "People to Pester when Bored" Hmmmm…. he looked at the list and thought to himself who had he not pestered in a while, 'Potter? No I sent him various howlers yesterday to pester him. Father? Hmmmm….the last time I did that I was under the Imperius curse for a week, and I do not want to have to clip Lord Voldemort's toenails again,' Draco shuddered, 'Granger? Always a good choice, oh wait I sent her a picture of a yeti asking if it was her long lost sister to pester her earlier. I know! I'll pester the house elves! As if I didn't every day anyways.'
So Draco smirked his evil smirk and skipped off, humming the Spice Girls, to torture the house elves. He decided that one place where he would be able to pester the house elves from was the library stupid little things always got lost on their way there. He touched the bell to the kitchens where the house elves would be, and waited, about ten minutes later a house elf wearing a pillow cover came into the library.
"You rang young Master Malfoy?"
"Yeah you ugly little thing, I want you to get me a pumpkin juice, on the rocks, and a bottle of fire whiskey! Oh, and from now on I expect to be addressed as Supreme Overlord of all Malfoy."
"Yes Sir-Supreme Overlord, dinky will make sure to do that."
"Oh, and send up some elves to entertain me, or" he said menacingly, "I'll give you clothes!"
"NOOOOOOOOO! Not the dreaded C-word!" Dinky ran around stupidly, because well, I suppose that's what all house elves do when threatened.
Draco laughed his head off and tripped the house elf, who tumbled into a bookshelf, knocking it over. When this bookshelf was knocked over, Draco laughed even harder knowing that now this little elf, dumpy or whatever its name was was going to have to punish itself and clean it up. When Draco looked up however, he lost all interest in pestering the pathetic creature in front of him, and went to examine a box that sat behind the bookshelf instead.
Inside this box was a book, a pink leopard print furry book, with lacy trim all around the edges, and "The Secret Diary of Lucius Malfoy" written in silver bubble letters on the cover. Draco could not wait to read this. He went over to a cozy chair by the fire and settled in, knowing that his summer just got interesting. He was so involved in this that he did not even notice the house elves coming in to clean up the mess, although I suppose Draco never noticed them.
A/N: sorry for the short chapter, I don't have much time to write these days!