A/N: Yesh, I'm finally updating again. It's finals week, I can only write sporadically, soon, however, school will be out for the summer and I will be able to update more regularly. Sorry for the wait. I wrote a semi-long chapter I hope you all like it. Ah, to make it clear (Lucius) (Draco's thoughts)!

Disclaimer: Alas, I do not own any of the characters you recognize. I do own Bob and Jimmy though…… I also don't own Britney Spears or any of her songs! (Thank god)

In which Lucius predicts the future….or something like that

On the Hogwarts Express (cont.)

"Yo Zab-meister, mah homefry what's going down?" I asked a very confused looking Zabini.

Then, he did something that I never would have expected from him. No, he did not try to make out with Goyle. He…he…HE SLAPPED ME! No one ever dared slap me! I had never been so insulted!

"I have never been so insulted!" I said. (See I told ya so)

He proceeded to try and calm me down by pulling out…..awwww…it's his baby bunny rabbit twinkles. It's so soft and cuddly. I could just play with it and stroke its pretty fur. He also pulled out pink furry pony tail holders, but I didn't notice them as I was too busy playing with Twinkles, she's so adoramable! While I was distracted, Zabini and co. somehow managed to change my hairstyle to blonde pigtails; I looked like a blonde schoolgirl. I looked in the mirror and squealed.

"Like Oh-Em-Gee! I am like so cool and popular! Someday a girl who looks like just like me will so be like famous! She'll be like a pop sensation. How can I like thank you!" I giggled girlishly and batted my eyelashes at Zabini who gave me a lollipop. I waited for him to respond.

"Lucius, mate, promise me you'll never try and be an American gangster again. American gangster and British accent are a little bit creepy combined."

"Like totally hun! Anything for you! I'm going to like go find Potter!" I skipped off giggling and humming future hit single, "Hit me baby one more time".

When I was outside of Potter's compartment I started a dance routine. I dance right into the compartment and into Potter's lap.

"Hi my little Potty-Wotty-Jamesy-Wamesy-Poo!" I said wrapping my arms around his neck.

"Lucius get off me. I swear if you don't get off me in five seconds, I'll have to….I'll have to….I'll have to do…..THIS," he said licking my ear. ('Maybe that's where Scarhead gets his weirdness from…)

He licked me….James Potter licked me…. EWWWWW Now I need to be disinfected! I have Potter germs!

"Pothead! That was like so gross and mean and evil and like not nice and like yucky!"

"You're telling me, my tongue is now officially intoxicated!"

Then, Black butted in, "You guys save your licking for the bedroom please. After all, Lucius what would people think if they thought that you were cheating on me?"

I glared at him and giggled, "What? I like don't understand. I'm like too blonde to be like anything else!" (A/N: No offense to any blondes remember this is comedy)

Lupin just stared at us placidly, I winked at him and licked my lips seductively, and he paled! Yay one for Lucius! Pettigrew sat in the corner and looked shiftily around. I like that boy. He needs more Slytherin friends!

"Potty Wotty, you mean you like didn't tell your friends about us?"

"What us you cheesy doodle? There is no us! I am in love with someone else and its-"

"Me!" cried Black.

"Erm-no, sorry mate. Its-"

"Me!" said a rabid fangirl named Meghan.

"Uh I don't know who you are, so nope not you either sorry. Its-"

"James what about Lily," asked Lupin.

""WILL YOU ALL LET ME FINISH! Oh wait, Moony, you're right! Lily Evans!"

That sexy little mudblood (WHAT! My father thought a mudblood was sexy! shudder) was the one Potter loved? I'd make sure I got to her first, "Well, like babe, I like have to like go!" I licked Potter, nipped him on the ear and went on my merry way back to my compartment; after all, we were almost at Hogwarts.

At Hogwarts-Great Hall

I had to ride in a carriage with Snape and Crabbe, they smelled funny. I was going to be sick. What was up with Zabini and Nott deserting meeeeee! I feel so unloved!

Ick! I ended up sitting to Narcissa (future-Mrs.-Malfoy) Black. She's fine, but so icky. (So dad and mum were like me and Pansy I'd wager.) She hangs off of me so helplessly. Yes, she's my future wife, but she never leaves me alone! (Yea, me and Pansy) I can't bug Potter, or look at myself in the mirror, or do…erm….other things… without her being there! She clarified already that she understands that I was having a reaction to Imperio put on as a joke earlier and that she forgives me. Did I say I was sorry? NO!

I looked up as McGonagall called a name that sounded familiar; it was Narcissa's sister, Aluminum or Comet or Android…

"Black, Andromeda," said McGonagall and the little girl went up to the stool. Perhaps I should offer McGonagall my hairstyling services, she desperately needs them.

Narcissa gripped my hand tightly, and I tried to pull her hand off. She thought I was patting her hand however, and only gripped my other hand tighter. I waited anxiously and was both amused and disgusted when the hat loudly yelled out, "RAVENCLAW!"

I sneered at her and laughed. I started to make fun of her, after all, ALL the Malfoy's had been in Slytherin and always would be, whereas the Black's had two odd ones in different houses. She started crying and I laughed cruelly, just like I had learned how to from my, So you want to be the dark lord's right hand man book.

Then again McGonagall caught my attention, this time with, "Black, Regulus"

Hmmm…another Black to be sorted, from the look on the face of Black at the Gryffindor table I'm guessing this one must be related to him. Perhaps he'll get into the right house and not be a disgrace to his family.

The hat did not stall for a moment before calling out, "SLYTHERIN!"

I started to clap, I was almost weeping at the look on the older Black's face. He and Pothead were sneering at the little smirking boy as he strode over to the table. I waved the little boy over to sit by me, looked over to the Gryffindor table and blew a kiss to Potty when he saw me. Narcissa tried to unsuccessfully (darn), drown herself in her pumpkin juice.

"You just made me so incredibly happy Black. After all, not everyone can make your brother sneer, and such a nice sneer he has, pity he's not a Slytherin. Also, you made Narcissa want to drown herself. Although maybe she just thinks she's a fish who needs to live in pumpkin juice."

I ignored the rest of the sorting and braided Regulus' hair. It looked so cute! I was so excited! I dazed out then and didn't come back into consciousness until it was time to leave the great hall.

A/N: Sorry if it made no sense lol my brain is fried right now…. Erm the actual future telling was the Britney Spears thing….sorry I don't like her. I know not a lot of Draco commentary. Does anyone think I should add more? If so, tell me in a review.