Harry sat on the bathroom floor sucking his binky. The Author smelt a smell. A kind of smelly smell. A smelly smell that smells . . . smelly. (From Spongebob Squarepants)

"Eeew! Harry!" said the author staring down at his diaper.

Harry spit his binky out.

"Change me back or . . . face the wrath of the dirty diaper."

Author's eyes began to water.

"Okay, fine," she cried, coughing. She snapped her fingers and changed him back.

Dumbledore woke up and saw the chisel heading straight for his face.

He screeched and Apparated. Hermione put her hand on her hip and stared up at the Author.

"You Can't Apparate inside Hogwarts grounds!" she said. "How many times do I have to say it?"

Author's eye twitches. She stared down at Hermione. Hermione cowered. Author snaps finger and turns Hermione into a fly. Author pulls out her fly swatter . . .



Percy's "I Feel Like A Woman" mingled with Snape's "I Feel Pretty" was driving Madam Pompfrey insane. She passed out.