A/N: I WAS ON VACATION TRaPpED insIDe My HeAD.

Hermione buzzed along and landed on Ron's back.

The author can't see her. "Curse it!" cries the author and turns her into a hippo. Ron yelps out in pain.

"Get off," he cried, before passing out. Hermione bellowed, got up and pounded on, The Author chasing her.

Percy stopped singing, and so did Snape. They stared at Madam Pompfrey.

"We've got to help!" sqeaked Snape.

"Yes, yes," agreed Percy.

"M&Ms," yelled Snape, "THAT IS THE SOLUTION!"

"Precisely" said Percy, and they emptied there pocket of M&Ms and started to shove them into Madam Popmfrey's open mouth.

One day, after Frodo destroyed the Ring, Legolas Greenleaf was walking in his beloved

Mirkwood, contemplating how wonderful his life was, how majestically perfect he was, and how

marvelous his hair always seemed to look. He tripped and stumbled over a passed out form. He looked

down at it and let out a high pitched scream. He ran away crying. The form stirred.

"Damn that Hermione Granger!" said Umbridge, while rubbing her head.

A/N:LEGOLAS IS SOOOOOOOOOOO FINE!