The Ballad of the Baudelaires
Pity, yes, pity those poor Baudelaires
For they lead lives full of mis'ry and woe
In a world so cruel and dreadfully unfair
Misfortune follows wherever they go
Violet invents; Klaus likes to read
Sunny both bites and can cook
If they work together, their plans will succeed
As they star in these peculant books
Count Olaf pursues them; he causes their fear
And he's evil as evil can be
He is the reason they shed ev'ry tear
For insane and dreadful is he
It all started on Briny Beach one terrible day
And that's when things really got sad
Their house was in flames; their future looked grey
And their new home with Count Olaf was bad
You see, Olaf abused them and slapped Klaus's face
This much, we know is quite true
He tormented, tortured, and caused them disgrace
But Mr. Poe hadn't a clue
Now they move around from town to town,
Always ending up in a new place
Lemony Snicket writes each event down
In photos, he won't show his true face
So pity, please pity those poor Baudelaires
But don't worry how they'll stay alive
For in a cold world where no one seems to care
As long as they have each other, they'll survive