Chapter 5: CASSANDRA
She can still hear their screams at night, when she's still.
The horrified shrieks of all those who perished in her name, and she asks for forgiveness. For they have died in vain, she knows. She is responsible. In a way.
That's why she visits them even if they can't see her. She puts her hand on their shoulders, on their hearts, trying to make connection and say that everything will be better soon.
Even though she knows nothing will.
She has a lot of time to ponder her doings. Her trust, in her instincts and in him. If she had only not trusted as easily things would have been better. She would have been better. She wouldn't have been stuck here in this ghostly plane, neither living nor dead because she cannot move on to either world — they both consist of lost souls that had gone missing because of her. If she had kept silent, if she hadn't been so sure of herself, all would have been alive.
And she would have been able to move on.
She haunts him, sometimes. At night. But he doesn't always see her. And when he does, he ignores her. "Leave me alone, Cassandra." He says, "You showed me what the world can be. I'm doing it."
It usually makes her go away, the guilt consuming her. But this time, she decides she will not leave until she understands. Because the world is coming to its end, and he doesn't even care.
"But why, Clark?" she squeaks when he comes home, Anna silent in his arms. But she could not have picked a worse time. He doesn't mind her, and continues to stare at Anna's still form.
She puts her palm on his shoulder, trying to yank him back to reality, but he only shrugs her away. She knows that he's the only one who can do that, who can hurt her even though she cannot feel pain anymore. Because they are connected in a way beyond death. She has given him her vision, and he used it for taking her life.
"Can't you see what happened?" he asks angrily, tears rolling down his cheeks. Vulnerable. Human. Almost.
"No, I can't," she confesses. "You know that ghosts can't see what happens in the past of the living."
"She shot her … Her own child" his voice is broken and she almost pities him.
"How?"
"She threatened suicide. Lex called me, hysterical, and I came. Like a lamb to her trap. She waited there. And then — she shot her daughter."
"Why?" Cassandra asks like an innocent child, like she hasn't seen the lust for murder in Chloe's mind every time she floated around her, trying to calm her down. She knew that things would come to that; she has always known that one day the young woman will rebel. But like all the elders she hoped that this would be long after her time. She hoped she would be able to cross long before it happened.
"I don't know! I don't know what happened!" he screams and for a moment all she sees is the young boy who came to her so many years ago, and saw for the first time what his future held. But then the visions scatter and she can only see him, the man. The one who brought a worse future than she could have ever imagined.
"She's … dead?" she asks him and for a moment he simply stares as if the possibility never occurred to him.
"I don't know! It ... shouldn't have happened! I shielded her with my body! She shouldn't have been hurt!" he raves manically and she's sure that he has lost his mind. But losses tend to do these sorts of things to people.
She wants to say that it was her time, but she can't lie. She didn't see the child's death to be by a bullet. The prophecy said it was supposed to be years later, safe, in her bed. From old age. The child was supposed to bring salvation to the world, after all. That was the prophecy.
Only no one but she and Clark knew that the prophecy was a lie.
An invention that both she and Clark wove in one tiresome night when they thought everyone else fell asleep. They wove their dreams then, and other people's future. They didn't think it mattered; they didn't think that one small child could make such a difference. They didn't take into consideration the feelings, the people, and the hurt. They didn't think that Anna would become so important. They only sought to punish Lex for his egoism. They only wanted to hurt Chloe badly enough so she would leave Clark alone. They only wanted to save Clark's life, because he couldn't father a child. And hers, because she hadn't any granddaughters. They only wanted to bring hope to the world, or so they told themselves. They only wanted to help.
But instead they destroyed.
She guesses that in a way it's better that she can't move on. Because hell is the only thing that awaits her.
"What did you really see years ago, about Anna?" he asks suddenly as if continuing her train of thought. She knows it's the only thing that he cannot see, and blesses it. She doesn't see a point in telling him. She doesn't see the point in lying. "She is to die on her 21st birthday after being gang raped," she says, and her voice is clear despite the vivid picture that is now floating in her mind, refusing to go away even after all those years.
Yes, that was the poor baby's future. To die alone and sad, pained and calling for help.
"Why did no one hear her? Why didn't I hear her?" he asks the question she waited for all these years, and she wonders if he's ready. Probably not, she figures, but he doesn't have a choice.
Just like why she's still in here, between the dead and the living. Waiting. Today she will be set free.
"You died," she answers him truthfully and though it hurts her to tell him, she knows it's crucial. It's only a matter of time now before he will understand what it means. Before all that he has done to get that girl will slap him in the face because he will realize that she really matters. That he loves her.
And that's why he cries now.
It takes him long to come to the conclusion, but he doesn't have too much time, so she helps him. She takes his hand and shows him what he must do to make everything better, to pay his debt to the world.
Her last vision.
"Will you look out for her?" he asks her and she smiles.
"We both will."
And he takes her hand and takes out the green rock and puts it beside himself, waiting for the time to flow. Then she strikes his nape, and smiles. She feels - -free. Because she can now move on to the lands of the dead at last, to walk side by side with her murderer, his head decapitated.
Just like hers.