Stained Souls
Chapter 25: Saying Goodbye
Reno sat uncomfortably in the cheap beds that the grand hospital offered. The only things you could do were watch soap operas or sleep. Luckily, with the help of the medication it wasn't hard for him to sleep. That was the way Cloud found him when he entered the room.
The Turk laid motionless in the bed, almost lifeless to Cloud's eyes. The stillness of the room seemed to draw toward the redhead, crawling like a starved creature towards the site for refreshment. It was how Cloud looked at him that made it so.
His gaunt body slumped and curved almost as if it would fall into a pile beside Reno. Nothing was in him but air yet seeing his lover made it bearable to stand.
I can leave. Right now. He'll wake up and never notice that I came to look at him one last time. Cloud's hand gently pushed back a stubborn bang from Reno's eyes. But it would be just the same as I did to Tifa. Her torn face haunted his mind, consuming it with guilt.
Reno thought he heard a grunt though the blackness and opened his eyes.
"Cloud?" He said faintly when he recognized the face. Blue eyes shifted away from green.
"When did you get back?" Reno now was fully energized for a conversation, not knowing Cloud's intentions. "Did you get the guy that you were after!" Cloud said nothing. "Cloud?"
The Turk reached to stroke a fair cheek but the mercenary shifted away to the far end of the room.
"Cloud, why won't you let me touch you?" Reno's eyes twisted in worry and confusion. The mercenary stayed in his spot.
"I only wanted to come here for one thing." Cloud finally said.
"Then what is it?" Reno asked.
"Something happened today." The blonde dodged the answer, Reno stayed silent. While explaining himself Cloud went over to stroke the Turk's head. "I don't want this. Not for you in your state. It kills me to do it now and out of all times." Reno now panicked.
"What the hell do you mean by that! Stop touching me dammit and tell me!" He slapped away Cloud's hand. "Why won't you let me touch you!" For the first time Cloud looked into his eyes.
His are green too. But not like the other's. His were washed out, lifeless compared to Reno's. Weak with color and created from anything but life. The Turk's was vibrant, noisy, that screamed for any to look at them from his silky complexion. They were his eyes all the way. They were alive and mine are dead…Just like me.
Thinking about this only made the blonde understand why he went to him; out of all people he could have gone to he went to him. To hide, to live, to love. Cloud's hand reached out but hesitated what would happen if he did touch the siren.
Reno caught it in mid-air and kissed each finger. The feeling of his lips for the last time brought Cloud on his knees and he failed in keeping back his tears.
"I'm sorry." He mouthed over his coming sobs.
"What is it, Cloud? Tell me." Reno begged but Cloud just repeated himself. "What are you sorry of?" Reno never begged like this. Not since before his mother killed herself. She was drunk with sorrow and he was hungry for food and love. None of which she could offer to give to hear starving boy. The same thing was happening as we spoke and he was still blind to not see it as he was then.
"I didn't want you to see me go." Cloud cried. "I wanted you asleep so that you wouldn't hold me back. So that you wouldn't see." A flicker of his purpose came to Reno's mind, and the assumption of it frightened the redhead to his wits.
A pause of silence but Cloud's crying filled the room. Green eyes searched his weeping lover, making sure it was really true in what he was doing, in what he was now trying to say: He's leaving him.
"No." Reno gripped Cloud's hand. Cloud knew this was the moment and fought back on Reno. The Turk clawed at Cloud, but the mercenary was stronger. He pinned the redhead's limbs down.
"Nurse!" He called hoarsely. "Nurse!" Cloud called the second time. Now Reno was crying, tears salted his finely cut cheeks and highlighted his eyes over a thick layer of water.
"You can't leave me now." He chocked on each word. "I need you. I can't stand to be alone, not now! Not after this! Not after—'' Cloud pushed Reno's face into his shoulder as they embraced for one last time with both crying as their hearts bled and broke.
"I'll always be watching you. Vincent will come now and see to you so you'll never really be alone." Reno shook his head 'no'. Why was he doing this?
The nurses and doctor came in seeing Reno cling to Cloud but really it was the other way around. He looked at them through blurry vision and they read that now should be the time. One lady tapped lightly on a sinister looking needle and came around them over to Reno. Cloud began to push away from the Turk but the redhead held such a strong grip almost at the point of breaking his rib. He was never held this tight, not since they last made love to each other. Their ecstasies were high and they held on as tight as it all washed over them like waves.
But he never would guess it would happen for him not to leave. Once the nurse knew Reno wouldn't budge she struck the sleeping medicine in his bloodstream with the needle. Immediately Cloud felt Reno's limbs go limp and saw his lover's eyes were closed. They'll cry again when he wakes up and knows I'm not there. They'll cry their hardest when he knows I'm gone.
Before the nurses could ask for his name Cloud slipped out of the room so quickly. He walked fast down the hall; hoping distance would keep back this sob that was rising as bile up his throat. When he knew he couldn't hold it any longer he sharply turned right and into the empty stairwell.
The mercenary slapped the door shut with both hands and braced himself.
"AHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHHAHHHHHH!"
He screamed at his loudest, echoing through the stairwell and seeping into the floors, startling the patents and healers. Kids would say it was the banshee that haunted the hospital but only Cloud would know it was the sound of his dying self. Now, as he slid on the floor, he was hollow from everything.
The scream helped so much. More then one could believe. Its not like him to yell it all out, but then its is like him to keep all his feelings inside. To bare the pain and weight of all burdens, and now the toll was being paid. This is what happens when someone takes the world on their shoulders: they slowly crumble beneath it.
Wow! I'm getting good at this. Do you think I did a good job writing this chapter. Review and tell me. Thank you!