Dreamer

. . .

A/N: I can't believe it! I actually spewed out a second chapter for this fic! It is insane… insane, I tell you. Seriously, I never finish anything I write independently unless it's a one-shot – in fact, I hardly ever get to the second chapter, so be proud, everyone! And it's longer than the first chapter, too, which is good. :D At some parts I really hate how I write Tifa and at other parts I really like it. XD; Strange. I must say, though, that she and Zack have more amusing conversations than I would have imagined. Anyways… enjoy?

. . .

2: Embarkment

. . .

Only years of training, a fighter's precision, was what kept her from falling to the ground thanks to the impact as she ran head-on into the stranger. After all, he was quite a deal taller than she was, with a strong enough build. Her dignity was saved, though, for she only stumbled back a little, had enough time to recover. She looked up at him, an annoyed impudence in her eyes; she was quite ready to tell him off then and there. But there was something, something in his brightly glowing eyes that seemed like a shocked recognition, and then she realized that he was familiar… far too familiar.

Like Cloud… he stands like Cloud…

She took a harder look at him. That hair, how could she ever forget it? It had to be Zack, didn't it? Who else could have such midnight-black, long, spiked hair that so closely resembled a porcupine to the point that it was laughable? And his eyes, they were definitely Mako-infused. How could it be him, though? He was dead, Cloud had told her the gruesome story of how he was killed, bullet upon bullet rained upon him until there was no way he could have survived.

She continued to stare him down, like a predator ready to sink hungry jaws into her prey. Though it made more sense that she was the pursued, rather than the pursuer, for simply fear and confusion were swimming in her red-brown eyes. Neither of them seemed able to get any words out, and so eventually she was just forced to ask. "Zack…?"

. . .

How could she be forgotten? She was far too pretty for Zack to forget, not to mention that she was so… well-endowed. True, he had felt sort of bad about how closely he had watched her, back on that mission. After all, Cloud had told him, in the secret confinements of their inn room, about how she was the one that had caused him to want to join SOLDIER in the first place, about the mean things she had said, but yet how her sweet disposition had been infectious.

Zack had actually accused Cloud of feeling something like love for her, but Cloud has always said that wasn't it; she was merely a friend. The only reason he had wanted to get close to her was because of the fact that she had been unreachable, untouchable. It had been a challenge, some form of a goal, to try and obtain her favor.

But things didn't seem to be one-way, either. Cloud had hidden himself from her on that mission, refusing to remove his helmet whenever she was in her presence, and Zack had noticed the sorrow and concern painted clearly on her face – she was disappointed, because she had wanted to see Cloud, speak with him, possibly even be with him. Maybe it was the fact that he had decided to join Shin-Ra, that that had somehow turned him into something desirable, but either way, she had developed some sort of feelings for him while he had been gone.

And Zack had tried to tell Cloud this, let him know that she was definitely feeling such things for him, but Cloud would never believe it, could never comprehend the fact that someone could like him in that manner. I was right in front of your eyes, kid, and you never even noticed. Maybe I cover things up too well sometimes. Then again, I wasn't as obsessed with him as I am now, was I? Things had been starting then, beginning, but they weren't as set in stone as they were now. He may have thought he was cute, smart, attractive, but he hadn't loved him then as he felt he did now.

Even with all of these emotions raging inside, however, his expression was for the most part blank as he was questioned by the brunette, and he only gave a nod in response. She just stared at him a little longer, long enough to make him feel uneasy, almost. She managed to gain her voice long enough to utter out, "H-how…?"

Zack couldn't help but laugh at her bewilderment, though he could hardly blame her. He was supposed to be dead, after all. "Well, that's a hard question to answer… and it's definitely not something we should talk about here…" At that comment, Mako-eyes quickly darted around for any sign of people eavesdropping that shouldn't be, though most of the people close-by were just the regular occupants of the Slums, more worried about their own lives to care about anyone else's. "Do you have somewhere we could go…?" he questioned in a whisper.

Knowing they had best get out of there as quickly as possible, she cut the small-talk, simply nodded and grabbed at his wrist, leading him down a few streets until they reached an apartment complex. "This is where I live," she explained as they walked in through the door and then headed for the stairs. "We'll be free to talk openly once we're up there, none of my neighbors really bother me," she assured him, and that worked well enough for him.

Luckily she lived on the second floor so it wasn't long before they were safely inside the comforting atmosphere of her apartment room. It was no less than Zack had expected – a rather nice, quaint little place, and perfectly neat, everything in perfect order, not a single thing out of place. That seemed to fit her personality quite well, too. With the way she worried over things, she could almost be considered obsessive compulsive. Zack was sure it wasn't good for her health, the way she was constantly anxious about one thing or another. Mostly Cloud, he had gathered from the short time he had known her eight years ago.

It's been so long now… we were in that damned lab for five years, and then I was out for three. It's hard to believe, how much I've missed, how many years have been wasted. At least now he could attempt to make up for them, and he was going to do his best to do so. Tifa turned to him after he had walked in and closed the door behind him. "Go ahead and sit down," she told him, pointing at a rather comfy-looking arm-chair. "I get the feeling this is going to take a while," she said with a sigh.

"Yeah, me too," he responded half-heartedly, then walking over to the said arm-chair and seating himself. She paced into the kitchen, calling back to him as she did so. "Want anything to eat or drink?" she asked.

His mouth watered as he quickly remembered his favorite beverage, one he hadn't had the pleasure to drink in so long. "Got any Coke?"

. . .

"So, you're saying Cloud ended up thinking he was me?"

"Yeah…" Tifa responded somberly. It seemed that this wasn't something she really wished to discuss, even though she knew it was necessary. "I guess he just couldn't take it all… he had to gain some form of strength somehow and… Zack, well, to him, you pretty much embodied strength. At least, that's how it seems… the way he talked about you…"

He felt his stomach lurch in surprise and a strange sort of joy at her words; for one, he felt awful that Cloud had been through so much, that there had been so much that he hadn't been able to protect him from, but the way she put it, it sounded as if Cloud really did… like him. He wasn't going to go and think that it was anything more than friendship, wouldn't let his hopes peak up that high, but hey, he could dream a little.

"Well, didn't you notice that he was acting differently?" he asked in a bit of worriment.

"Of course I did!" she exclaimed, not sure what Zack took her for. "None of his facts fit properly… he knew too much or too little. It didn't make sense, but… what was I supposed to do?"

Zack closed his eyes for a minute, letting out a sigh himself now. "… you should have brought it up. You should have told him, said something…"

"You don't get it! I couldn't have done that… I didn't know what was going on, I was so confused."

"It's not fair, Tifa."

"What?" She stared at him, ruby red eyes enlarged in surprise. The cold, calm, soothing air of his tone had caught her off-guard, and she felt her blood turn cold.

"He was falling apart inside. That much is obvious. His town was burned, everyone was killed, he hadn't fulfilled his goal, he had to deal with seeing you, seeing you hurt, me hurt, and then Sephiroth going insane. After that, the five years we spent in that lab. You don't know what we went through, Tifa. He was barely coherent, barely alive, even, when we got out… and then… then I got killed, too. Or at least, that's what he thought…" It seemed that was all he had to say about that. He died down, resting his chin on the palm of his hand, his elbow placed on his knee, and he went into a small bout of deep contemplation.

There was silence for a long time, and all that Tifa could do was stare at him. In the short time she had known Zack, he had always seemed like such a happy and carefree sort of person, the one that never got mad or upset over anything, really. But now… now she had pretty much just been attacked by him. And his words hurt more than she would have thought. She exhaled rather loudly, closing her eyes for a moment before opening them again, and then made an effort to reply. "…so what are you saying?" she choked. She wanted to say a lot more, but she couldn't just then.

"I'm saying that if you had considered what he had been through, compared his pain to your pain… if you had just said something sooner rather than later, it would have helped him. Helped him heal, helped… just…" His ran both hands through his spiked hair and heaved another sigh. "Well, it's all in the past now."

She clasped her hands in her lap and made an effort to stare at them and nothing else. "Mm. I wasn't thinking. I didn't know. I had no idea why he was acting so strange and… maybe I was scared that he would fall apart, when I couldn't afford to have him do that, not when I was using him as my pillar of strength."

Zack chuckled softly. "He's not exactly the greatest guy to use as your 'pillar of strength'. That kid was a mess…"

"We should stop talking about him like he's dead." It was giving her the shivers, and she didn't like it. Granted, she didn't know where Cloud was now, but she wouldn't believe that he had died. Not until she had full, concrete proof.

"Yeah… I just can't believe that I managed to survive this, and now he's nowhere to be found. And… Sephiroth. I mean, yeah, he did attack me and Cloud and you, but… I didn't think he'd ever try and take over the world, you know? We were… we were buddies." It was a lot for him to take in at once, which sort of explained his rather dampened personality.

This conversation was progressively making Tifa feel more and more uncomfortable. These were things that, after they had defeated Sephiroth, she had decided she didn't want to dwell on. That may have just been running away from her fears, but she didn't have the strength to face them head-on as she may have done before. I'm doing what Cloud would do… she thought rather bitterly to herself. It was because he had done just that, run away from all of his problems, made himself forget, that he had ended up not even knowing who he was.

But Zack was waiting for more information, and she was his only supplier, so… she'd have to face at least some of those fears right now. "He wasn't himself. I mean, you saw him go insane, right? You can hardly blame him, really. I mean, of course I hate him for everything he did to us, all the problems he caused, but I can see why it is that he went insane. If you find out…"

"…that you were a monster created merely to please your 'father's' sick wishes?" Zack asked. "Yeah, I know, I know that it tore him apart. I saw him kill all those people. I understand all the justification he had for what he did, but when you knew someone before and then you hear of everything they did, that they tried to take over the world…" He lowered his head to the floor. "…It doesn't sink in easily."

Her ruby-brown eyes stared at him as she tried to think of some way to console the spiky-haired soldier. But really, she wasn't in the position when she could hardly keep herself together as it was. Ever since Cloud had gone missing she had been just trudging through life without much of an existence to speak of. She cared so dearly for him, had made him her responsibility to watch over, and now that she had failed, in a sense, there wasn't much left for her to do. And yes, maybe she had… loved him… but whether or not he had returned those feelings, well… she had been too scared to find out. It was such a big possibility for her, that he would reject her, be unable to deal with her when he was too busy with his own issues, and she'd rather never know, care for him from afar, then let him crush all of her feelings into pieces, dust sifting through his callused hands.

"Oh, and Tifa?" Zack asked rather solemnly, lifting his head to look her straight in the face now, an action she wanted to flinch away from; those eyes… so much like Cloud's, it hurt.

"Yes?" she responded softly, finding it hard to speak all of a sudden. She wanted to yell at herself in frustration. She always got like this when she started thinking of Cloud and it was beginning to annoy her. Did she have to be such a damsel in distress? Really.

"…please don't hate him," he finished. "I mean, I know he was your rival all that time, and he may have done all of those things, but…" His eyes narrowed, as if in deep thought, nostalgia. "…I knew him before all of that, and I can tell you that he was a good person. If… the Sephiroth from then knew what he had been doing after he went insane, well… he would hate himself. I promise you. He never wanted to hurt any of those people. Yes, he was a trained killer from the start, a general who was used to mass killing, but that doesn't mean he'd murder innocent people ruthlessly. Nor would he want to hurt you or Cloud or…" He stopped himself since he was going nowhere and began to just nibble on his lower lip in contemplation.  

"I'm sorry…" she sighed, flipping some of her strands back with a hand absent-mindedly. "I don't really hold any sort of resentment for him now that things are taken care of. I mean, yes… he did kill my father and… gave me a lovely scar…" she smiled ruefully as she fingered her abdomen where the masamune had sliced across years ago, "…but all of that doesn't really matter now. It's like…" she lifted up a hand and stared at it with curiosity, "…I don't feel anything anymore. Nothing hurts, it's all numb." She laughed somewhat morbidly.

"Hey," Zack said, sternness apparent in his tone. "That sounds way too much like someone else we know."

She nodded. "I know… but I can't help it. The only time I ever feel anything is when I think about him…" she said dreamily, a far-off look in her eyes.

Zack blinked in confusion. "You mean…?"

She closed her eyes in defeat. "…yes, I… I think I'm in love with him, Zack."

Then we're in the same boat, m'dear. He rubbed his eyes with one hand out of exasperation with the mess they were in, since he was sure this would cause problems later on down the road. "And what about him? How does he feel?"

"I don't know," she admitted, shaking her head. "I never knew how to approach him about it, and I didn't want to know what the answer would be. It was all or nothing, and it wasn't a bet I was willing to place."

"That makes sense. But if you really want it to become something, you're going to have to say something." Which reminded him. Though he had somehow determined he was head-over-heels for the kid, he had no idea how he was going to let him know. Cloud wasn't necessarily easy to talk to, especially when discussing affairs of the heart. His coldness was muffling and his words were jagged; they could be, anyways. And then he could say the sort of stuff that makes your heart melt…

Wow. That was waaaaaay too sappy. Quit it, Zack.

Tifa groaned in frustration. "But that's the thing! I'd rather love him and be without him than have him know of my feelings and be crushed into the ground because he rejected me. It makes no sense, to love someone and be happy with that even if it's one-sided, but I don't know what else to do. Maybe…" she mused, "…maybe I'll get over it eventually."

Zack considered that this might happen with him as well, but he had never been the patient kind, and just waiting for his affection to wear off was not his idea of fun. Better to go for it, especially if there was a chance that you would get what you wanted. Extreme happiness or a shot in the kidneys.

"Well," he grinned, jumping to his feet almost enthusiastically, "What's the point of thinking about all of this when he isn't even around? I'm going to look for him," he proclaimed.

She blinked at him in disbelief. "Zack. I told you I looked everywhere."

"No harm in looking twice," he responded, winking at her.

She shook her head in dismay. "You're not going to find him," she warned him. "So don't get your hopes up, all right? I made that mistake."

"There's no telling what you'll find if you just know where to look," he countered, brushing himself off. "But… I think I need a shower and some more clothing and food to take along with me. Not to mention Gil…" He shot her a pleading glance.

Her scarlet eyes were closed in aggravation. "You know, I should really downright refuse to help you with this at all since I know it's all going to be for nothing, but…" she grumbled incoherently, "I suppose there's a chance. You can shower and use what clothing you have for now, and we'll head out to get everything else you need tomorrow. There's not much reason to rush, after all. Is that satisfactory?" she quaked, shooting daggers in his direction.

"Perfectly fine," he returned with a nod. When she gave that sort of look, kind of an evil eye sort of thing, there was no way to oppose her. "Shower?"

. . .

Zack stepped out of the now-steamy bathroom, filled up with the wet warmth by the overly hot water he insisted on showering in. He had a towel flopped haphazardly over his unruly hair, had stepped back into the clothes he had been in previously merely because Tifa had not a thing he could even consider wearing. Really. She was almost a foot shorter than he was (well, maybe half a foot) and much smaller in stature. It wasn't like she dragged boys to her apartment and stole their clothing, even though Zack was sure she could do so if she was so inclined. After all, she did have a pair of knockers on her…

But that wasn't the point, now was it? Of course not. Dismissing his naughty thoughts, he headed down the hall and back into the living room where Tifa was seated comfortably on the couch, sipping at a cup of tea and watching the television with only half of her attention. As he entered the room, she glanced back and gave him a half-smile. "Feeling better? It must feel strange to move around after being in a coma for so long…" She fell into her thoughts, wondering what it must have felt like; Cloud had been through something similar when he had been through his Mako poisoning, after all, stationary for much too long for her taste. But she had helped him in the end, helped him to find himself. And find Zack as well, remember his dearest friend.

After all, Zack was the only person she had ever heard Cloud refer to as a friend. They must have been close, right? She examined the dark-haired soldier closely. There must have been many things he knew about Cloud that she didn't, secrets Cloud had never cared to tell her. She was tempted to even ask him about such things, but it really wasn't her place. It was true that she and Cloud had known each other since they were children, but they hadn't always been close. She had been downright cruel to him, had crushed him on more than one occasion, and she regretted such actions to this day. How did I never realize just how special you were, Cloud? You were right in front of me, after all…

"Uh, yeah, the hot water really loosened up my muscles. I don't think I'll be getting much for sleep tonight, though," he remarked, staring out the window into the sky that had now turned to night, moon hanging in its lonely little way. "I've done enough of that to last me a lifetime, practically," he grumbled rather bitterly, then pulling his towel from his head after he had run it through said strands of raven enough, handing the cloth to Tifa, who took it and placed it with the dirty laundry.

Coming back from the menial chore, she nodded. "That's fine, you can watch TV and there's food in the fridge… I'll probably be going off to sleep soon, though," she said, yawning softly as if to prove her point. "And we'll be going bright and early to get all of your things, so be ready for that, all right?"

"Sure. You can count on me," he grinned, pointing a finger at his chest triumphantly. As she paced barefoot off to her room, Zack headed for the fridge she had mentioned and pulled out his second Coke of the day. After all, it had been years since he had tasted the sweet honey of his favorite drink, and he had to make up for all of that lost time, right? It was a good thing she had a good supply of the stuff. Popping it open, he returned to the couch the busty brunette had just been lounging on to watch TV and think things over, distant thoughts for times long gone.

. . .

"I told you to be ready!"

"Sorry, sorry, I'm not used to this whole wake-up-early-and-leave-quickly thing! It's been a while since I've woken up, period." So much for staying up all night. Zack had fallen asleep around five in the morning, only to be woken up at six thirty sharp. Not fun. A piece of toast clamped between his teeth, he raced down the one stairwell from the second floor to the ground floor, following after the rather scary woman.

"I thought you weren't going to sleep!"

"Well, I did! Cut me some slack, will ya'? Why are you in such a rush, anyways?" He finished the piece of toast in one swallow, realizing it would be rather hard to talk otherwise.

She stopped, now that they had gotten to the bottom of the stairs, and flipped around quickly to face him, her long pony-tail almost smacking him in the face. "Because… I…" She sighed, bowing her head to the floor. "I want you to leave quickly; I want you to… find him, Zack." She lifted her head to stare at him, a pleading look in her eyes.

His somewhat flustered features softened and he nodded a ghost of a smile on his face. "All right, Tifa. I understand. I'm going to try my best, all right?" He grasped her hands with his own, squeezing them tightly to let her know that he meant what he said. "If I can help it, I won't be coming back here empty-handed. And I will come back, no matter what. If just to let you know that I couldn't find him." His Mako-tinted eyes bore into her. "Okay?"

She nodded, a bit overwhelmed by his intensity. "Y…yeah… thanks, Zack."

She may not act like it, but she's hurting. I hope I can help you, Tifa… but does that mean I'll have to give him up? He mentally sighed, this all being too much to worry over for a brain that hadn't been put to much use for a few years. Holding his forehead with one of his hands that had by now removed themselves from their strong grasp, he stepped down the last couple of stairs and followed her out of the building. "Don't mention it."

. . .

After a visit to a random clothing store (it didn't really matter where they went, as long as they got some clothing for him) and a supermarket, they were back at Tifa's apartment by mid-afternoon. The brunette was willing to give up one of her bags so he could stuff some things into it, including said clothing and some basic snacks, along with a bit of Gil, and it wasn't long before Zack was quite ready to depart.

Shouldering the bag, he grinned at his newfound friend and thanked her immensely before gathering up a somewhat awkward goodbye. It was odd, after all, to be leaving so swiftly, but they both knew that this was in their best interests, that both of them wanted more than anything to see those bright blue eyes again, even if they were tinged with Mako, just as Zack's still were. Although, it wasn't really goodbye since Zack made sure Tifa knew that he would be back, with Cloud or without him, and so it was predetermined that they would meet again.

As he walked down the hallway, preparing himself for a long period of travel, Tifa burst out of the door and chased after him, yelling, "Stop!" rather loudly and most likely disturbing some of the other tenants.

Blinking, he spun around to face the frantic woman, wondering if he had forgotten something or if she had suddenly had a weird change of heart.

She was panting by the time she reached him, but she quickly pushed her swiftness of breath away to spout out her question. "How do you plan to get around?"

He shrugged. "Trains, walking, hitchhiking if I have to. I'll manage."

A smile splayed across her features. "I have a much, much better idea. I can't believe I didn't think of this before!" She dug into her jeans pocket and when her hand was pulled out it was holding a jingling set of keys. "Follow me." And with that, she was pacing down the hallway, strides strong and determined, as if she was walking with purpose, which Zack supposed she was.

He had to admit to himself that he was a bit fearful of what she had in mind, but he had no other choice than to follow her. She made her way down the stairs, even below the ground level – down to the underground garage. She explained as they walked along. "This is where everyone parks their cars and whatnot; there's a ramp at the other end that leads up to the streets, so it's not difficult to get in or out or anything."

Zack was still failing to grasp the situation. Garage? Keys? What was she planning to give him?

Grinning as she reached her final destination, she halted and turned around to face him. "I may not be able to give you my car, but I also happen to have…" She scooted out of the way a tad to reveal to the black-haired man a rather impressive, well-polished motorcycle.

Zack faltered, mouth gaping open as he stared for a few seconds. "You mean…?"

"Yep!" She winked at him. "I figured you'd know how to ride one, if Cloud did…"

"Are you kidding? I taught him everything he knows, dear."

"Well, perfect." She fiddled with her keys until she pulled off the one designated for the bike, then handing it to him gingerly. "It's yours for now, but if it has one scratch on it, Zack…"

"I know, I know," he said, pulling his hands up defensively in case she wanted to demonstrate what she would do if he hurt her baby. "Frankly, Tifa, I would have never guessed you were the biker type."

"Are you kidding? You obviously don't know enough about me, dear," she retorted, playing on that name he had used for her earlier. "This is the girl that got into a slapping match with Scarlet."

He blinked. "Scarlet? Whore-in-the-red-dress Scarlet?"

"The very same. Now," she continued, kneeling down next to the bike to unlatch the helmet. She stood up and handed it to him. "You're gonna need that, because I really don't want to find out that you fell and splattered your brains on the highway… and…" She scanned over the vehicle for a moment. "That should be it."

Zack shook his head in disbelief. "I don't fall, Tifa."

"I don't care, Zack. I can't make you wear it, but… it is certainly not my fault if you end up in another coma, all right?" She gave him a crooked smile.

"Okay, okay, keep yer shirt on."

"Well, I guess that's it, then." She put her hands on her hips and examined him for a moment, as he had decided to comply and put on the helmet, though he would most likely not be doing so the next time he rode, when he didn't have those watchful crimson-brown eyes on him. "You look pretty good with that, I must say."

"I happen to like my hair flipping in the wind when I ride, but that's just me."

"It's really a matter if whether you want to look sexy or be safe."

He flashed a quick grin. "Which do you think I'd choose?"

She smacked her forehead with one palm. "And I thought Cloud was stupid… riding through a glass window on a motorcycle, really…"

Zack blinked. "That sounds like fun, actually."

"Oh, please. I'm leaving before I have to be subjected to more of your stupidity."

Peals of laughter cut through the air as the porcupine chuckled. "You know, Tifa, you're a lot cooler than I thought. You seemed so uptight on the mission at Nibelheim."

She shrugged. "I was trying to make a good impression. I mean, I was giving a tour to the Great Sephiroth."

"I catch your drift. Well, hope to see you soon, hm?"

"Yeah…"

"Ah, cheer up, Tif."

"Don't call me that."

"Tif, Tif, Tif!"

"Zachary, Zachary, Zachary!"

"Oh, you so aren't going there."

"Oh, I so am."

"You know what? I'm just going to leave. Right. Now."

"Well, good. Zachary."

"Not listening! Not listening! Lalalalalala!" After that, the roar of the engine drowned out anything Tifa may have been yelling at him. He glanced back at her, just to grin deviously before speeding off to find the ramp she had mentioned earlier. And so he was on his way.

And Tifa was left to wonder if she'd really ever see him again.