Disclaimer: I own nothing of Fushigi Yuugi but my own enjoyment.
A/N: Mild Shounen Ai; So if the thought of two men kissing makes you cringe...ok, well bye-bye! Everyone else - enjoy!
Follow Your Heart
The Suzaku seishi were enjoying a night of relaxation and camaraderie in the palace of the emperor and fellow seishi Hotohori. The food and sake were plentiful, and spirits were high. As the night wore on, one by one, they all started to go to bed, leaving Nuriko, Tasuki and Tamahome.
"I think I'll leave you two guys to battle it out. I've got to get my beauty sleep." Nuriko stood up and wobbled a little, leaning into Tasuki to steady himself. "Whoops, sorry." He pushed off the bandit and started to make his way down the hall.
"Wait up baka. You'll never make it to your room without falling on your face." Tasuki gets up and puts his arm around the seishi's waist, supporting him. "See ya Tama."
Tamahome watches as the two head down the hallway, realizing just how close Nuriko and Tasuki had become in the past months. They were best friends and he couldn't help but envy them. He was friends with all the seishi, but Miaka and Hotohori and now those two, had found a special bond. Tamahome just shook his head and took another drink before heading to bed.
"Can't you even attempt to walk straight!" Tasuki found himself against the wall again as Nuriko leaned into him with most of his weight again.
"Maybe it would be easier if you just carried me." He smiled at the bandit, knowing exactly what kind of response to expect.
"Yeah right! If anybody should be carrying anybody, you should be carrying me. You're the freak of nature with the insane strength."
Nuriko stopped and looked at Tasuki with a glint in his eyes. "Ok." Before he could protest, the orange-haired seishi found himself in the powerful arms of Nuriko.
"Put me down you stupid woman!" Tasuki struggled and finally managed to get the drunken seishi off balance and they went tumbling to the floor. "Ow! Nuriko you--" Tasuki stopped his rant as he looked up and saw Nuriko. He had landed on top of him and was looking down at him with soft violet eyes and flushed cheeks framed by raven hair that shined purple in the light. Beautiful…. He was suddenly aware of Nuriko's body lying on top of his and to his surprise, he liked it. "N-Nuriko?"
Nuriko was gazing at Tasuki, wanting to kiss him, but knowing the fiery-haired thief would never feel that way about him. He started at the sound of the bandit's voice and blinked down at Tasuki. "Oh…sorry. You shouldn't have struggled like that." Nuriko slid off and sat back on his knees, looking down at the floor. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah. You?"
"Yeah."
Tasuki stood and offered Nuriko a hand up. Without looking up, Nuriko took the hand and stood, pretending to smooth out his kimono as a distraction. "Nuriko, look at me." He looked over at Tasuki and felt his cheeks flush again as he looked into the amber eyes. "Is something wrong?"
Nuriko shook his head and started walking. Tasuki frowned but followed the silent seishi until they reached Nuriko's room. He started to slide the door open but Tasuki put his hand on Nuriko's and shut it. Nuriko stared at the hand, marveling at the bandit's warmth. Then he looked up and saw the amber eyes gazing at him. What is going on in that head of yours Tasuki? Do you know how much you torture me right now? They stared at each other for what seemed like forever to Nuriko until Tasuki suddenly grabbed the seishi's shoulders and kissed him.
Tasuki's body felt like it was on fire. Nuriko's lips felt so good and she tasted so sweet. He'd been wrestling with his feelings for this woman for awhile now, and after feeling her body against his, he had to know…Am I in love with Nuriko? If I tell her, will she return my feelings, or just laugh at me? He heard a soft moan and suddenly pushed back, breathless, his back against the other wall of the alcove. He looked into Nuriko's eyes, looking for any sign of how she felt. She looked surprised, her cheeks flushed, her fingertips at her lips. I knew it. She doesn't feel the same way. I'm so stupid! Tasuki looked away, "We…we should call it a night. I don't think either of us is thinking too clearly right now."
By the time Nuriko regained his composure and found his voice, Tasuki was already down the hallway, his hands clenched at his sides. "Tasuki, wait." He watched the orange-haired bandit turn the corner and disappear before going to bed himself. Nuriko didn't sleep much that night, thoughts of Tasuki and the feeling of his lips torturing him all night.
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The next morning Tasuki wasn't at breakfast, so Nuriko went out to the temple steps and meditated. He will find me when he wants to. I just hope it's soon…..
"Am I interrupting?"
Nuriko's eyes flew open and he smiled to see the sun-drenched seishi standing before him. "Not at all. I missed you at breakfast. I had to set Tama-baby on fire all by myself." He was happy to get a smirk out of the bandit.
"Sorry. I overslept." Tasuki shuffled his feet and looked around at the surrounding buildings. "I just wanted you to know that last night…" he locked eyes with Nuriko and his chest tightened at the sight of her. Gods she's beautiful. "…I hope you're not mad at me. It was a stupid thing to do and---"
"Tasuki. I'm not mad. I wanted---"
"I know, I know. You wanted to punch my face in or some other suitable response. And I wouldn't blame you, but we were pretty drunk and I'm thinking that fall shook my brain up a bit more than I thought." He had a hand on his head and offered a sheepish smile.
Nuriko just stared at his best friend. "So….you didn't mean it?"
"Of course not baka!"
Nuriko exhaled sharply and forced a smile. "Well then I guess it's settled."
"Good. I'm going into town with Chichiri and Mitsukake, wanna join in?"
"No. You go ahead. I'm going to rest before we set out for Hangma."
"Suit yourself. See ya!"
Nuriko watched the bandit run off and finally hid his face in his sleeve, no longer able to hold the tears back. I should have known he didn't mean to kiss me. Why would he fall in love with me? I'm the guy who dresses like a woman with freakish strength. I'm perfect as his best friend, but of course I could never be his love. Nuriko choked back the tears, wiped his face and sat up straight, returning to his meditating. I love you Tasuki. But if all you want is a friend, then I will satisfy myself with that, because I don't want to lose you.
Tasuki ran towards the main building as fast as he could. His chest hurt at the sight of her. She doesn't love me. And why should she? I'm just some bandit. She's beautiful and smart and rightfully part of the emperor's Inner Seraglio, which I'm sure she'll return to once Miaka summons Suzaku. Tasuki saw his friends waiting for him at the gate and took a deep breath. Well, at least now I know and thankfully, she doesn't hate me. I guess that's better than nothing.
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"Tasuki!"
Nuriko dove in front of the fallen seishi, taking the full brunt of the Dou warrior's wind-slash attack. Tasuki watched in horror through blurry eyes as his best friend saved his life. When the bright light died down he saw Nuriko, her body limp and bloodied, only a few feet away. He crawled over to her, praying to every god he could think of for her safety. He pulled her upper body to him, cradling her close to his chest.
"Nuriko! Answer me!" He brushed her hair back, his hands shaking, "Damn you, open your eyes!"
The fallen seishi's eyes fluttered open and saw the worried bandit's face. "I'll be…fine."
"You're damn right you will be! You have to get better so I can kick your ass for such a stupid move!"
Nuriko tried to laugh, but it hurt too much. He grimaced and clamped his eyes shut against the pain as he coughed up blood. Tasuki felt the seishi go limp in his arms again and panic set in.
"You can't leave me Nuriko! Please don't leave me!"
Nuriko opened his eyes again and slowly reached up a hand, lightly caressing his cheek, "I won't leave you….ever….I swear."
Tasuki placed his hand over hers and felt that tightness in his chest that he'd become accustomed to in the past weeks, only now it threatened to kill him it hurt so much. He looked into the violet eyes,
"Nuriko…I lov--"
His heart stopped when Nuriko's eyes closed again, but he realized she'd just passed out from the pain and exhaustion. But she needed medical attention now. He looked up and saw Tamahome and Hotohori battling the horde of female Dou warriors. Tasuki gently laid Nuriko's head down on the ground and stood up, his anger fueling his chi.
"Rekka Shinen!"
Tamahome and Hotohori heard the bandit shout and quickly moved out of the way, just as the flames raced past and incinerated their foes. Tasuki fell to his knees, breathing heavily, his chi completely gone.
"Tasuki!" Hotohori was by his side, "Let me help you."
"N-Nuriko. Help her."
Hotohori looked up and saw Tamahome and Chichiri already by the fallen seishi's side.
"Don't worry. Nuriko will be fine."
Chichiri transported Nuriko and Mitsukake back to the palace, and then came back for the others, one by one, until finally all were safe.
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Per the bandit's insistence, Hotohori helped Tasuki to Nuriko's bedside where they found Mitsukake examining the wounded seishi. Hotohori noticed how worried the bandit was about Nuriko and his heart went out to him. He knew they were close. They were the best of friends. He placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder, "Don't worry. Nuriko will be fine. She's too strong and too stubborn to let something like this stop her."
Tasuki kept his eyes on Nuriko and just nodded.
Mitsukake raised Nuriko's head and shoulders, "Hotohori, would you help me please?"
The emperor came to the healer's aid and helped to remove the kimono so he could see all the wounds before expending his chi.
"Wait! What are you perverts doing!"
Tasuki tried to get up and pull them away before they could strip off the kimono, but he wasn't strong enough. As the two confused seishi turned to face Tasuki, he caught a glimpse of Nuriko's exposed body and stared in shock.
"Tasuki, what's wrong? I have to see the extent of the wounds before I heal them." Mitsukake stared at Tasuki, whose eyes wouldn't leave Nuriko's body.
"Tasuki?" Hotohori kneeled beside the bandit and when he placed a hand on his shoulder, Tasuki turned his shocked expression on Hotohori, "Tasuki. Say something."
"Nuriko…"
"Don't worry, Nuriko will be fine. Maybe you should lie down and get some rest." Tasuki allowed himself to be led away to his bed, all the while keeping silent.
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Tasuki only slept for a few hours before getting up and going to Nuriko's room. He sat down and looked at the sleeping seishi. His mind and heart were in such turmoil he thought he would scream. Nuriko is a man. How is this possible? Everyone refers to Nuriko as 'she'. Nuriko is beautiful and dresses in kimono and is part of Hotohori's inner Seraglio.
But what really kept Tasuki's head and chest hurting was the fact that he'd kissed him a few months' back and had almost admitted to him earlier that he loved him. He was attracted to Nuriko. What man in his right mind wouldn't be? But until Nuriko, he'd always hated women, thinking they were more trouble than they were worth. But if Nuriko is a man…? I'm not gay. I'm not attracted to men. I'm attracted to women. I just don't have a use for them other than very temporary needs. But Nuriko was different. He liked her. He enjoyed her company, he respected her abilities and her intelligence and he thought she was beautiful. But Nuriko isn't a woman….
After he'd kissed her, he'd backed off, knowing it was wrong. Nuriko didn't love him. And they were the constellations of Suzaku and couldn't afford such distractions anyway. So he'd told her it meant nothing, when in fact, it had meant everything to him. She meant everything to him. How could I not know she was a man! How could the others not tell me?
"Ta…suki?" The soft, groggy voice broke his internal ranting and he looked up to see those violet eyes locked onto him. "I'm so glad to see you."
"I…I just came to check up on you." He was feeling the panic beginning to build within him. He couldn't hold her…his gaze. He felt his cheeks get warm and he got up to leave. "You should rest."
"Wait. Please don't go." Nuriko reached a hand up, but Tasuki could only look back with hurt in his eyes before leaving the room. Nuriko felt the stab of pain in his heart. What did I do wrong? Is he mad at me for saving him?
"Tasuki…"
Nuriko rolled over and clenched his eyes shut, a sudden feeling of dread building within him.
to be continued...