Disclaimer: The usual. Don't own 'em, wish I did.

A/N: Shounen Ai;

Follow Your Heart

Chapter 2

Nuriko was up and about, his usual carefree self by the next morning. He noticed Tasuki wasn't at breakfast and didn't think much of it until he failed to show up for lunch as well. Nuriko went to the bandit's room to make sure he was ok. "Tasuki? Are you in there?" When he got no reply, Nuriko slid the door open just a crack and saw the room was empty. "Where could he be?"

"He went into town right before lunch."

Nuriko gasped and turned to see Mitsukake standing at the corner. "You scared me!" Nuriko slid the door shut and approached the healer, "Did he say where he was going specifically?"

"Nope. Seemed to be in a pretty bad mood though. Maybe he just wants to be alone."

"I see. Thank you Mitsukake." Nuriko walked past, lost in thought, unaware of the healer's knowing smile. He's avoiding me. But why? He can't possibly be that mad at me for saving him. I'll just have to go find out!

Nuriko made his way into the city and scoured the taverns and weapons shops looking for Tasuki. After roaming the city for hours and realizing the sun was setting, Nuriko made his way back to the palace feeling depressed. As he walked up the temple stairs, he spotted a flash of orange out of the corner of his eyes. Tasuki? Nuriko ran around the side of the temple and found Tasuki walking quickly away towards an outer building.

"Tasuki, stop!"

The seishi stopped with his back to Nuriko, hands clenched at his sides. "What do you want?"

Nuriko stopped walking towards Tasuki when he heard the harsh tone. "I…I wanted to talk to you."

"About what?"

"Last night…you seemed angry with me and I wanted to know why." Nuriko waited for a response but received only silence from the bandit. "Tasuki, answer me. What's going on?" He reached out for him, but was shocked when Tasuki whirled around, grabbed Nuriko's wrist, his face full of anger and pain.

"What are you trying to pull? You walk around in kimono and makeup, acting like a woman. Do you know how ridiculous you are!"

Nuriko tried to pull away from the ranting seishi, but he had him in a vice grip. "Tasuki, let me go! What are you talking about!"

Tasuki twisted Nuriko's wrist and the seishi went down on his knees, grimacing in pain. Tasuki's voice became lower and his pain was showing through.

"You must think I'm the biggest fool. All this time…I didn't know. I was so stupid."

"Tasuki, you're drunk."

Nuriko was too much in shock to fight back. He could easily break Tasuki's hold on him, but he was held captive by the ranting seishi. Why is he suddenly angry with the way I dress and act? He's acting like he just found out….

"I can't believe I kissed you. I should have known better. Any woman, even a false woman, isn't worth it."

Tasuki reached out with his free hand and let the long raven tresses slip through his fingers. He seemed saddened by the sight. When the last bit fell through his fingers, he turned his amber eyes to the watery violet ones looking up at him. Tasuki reached out and lightly caressed Nuriko's face.

"You made me feel things Nuriko. Things I never thought possible." The amber eyes suddenly hardened and he gripped Nuriko's face roughly. "But it was all an illusion, wasn't it? You bastard." Tasuki pushed Nuriko away and glared down at him, tears running down both their faces now, "I don't ever want to see that face again." Tasuki walked off, leaving a shocked and heartbroken Nuriko.

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Nuriko sat staring at himself in the mirror, having skipped dinner, he had been sitting in front of the mirror for hours, the small oil lamp on his table the only light. "You made me feel things Nuriko. Things I never thought possible." The words played through Nuriko's mind over and over. He heard the pain in his voice and saw all the emotions behind those amber eyes. "I don't ever want to see that face again." The words caused Nuriko to flinch. Tasuki hates me. He cared for me, but as a woman. He didn't know I was a man. How did he not know?

Nuriko had washed his face clean of makeup and was dressed only in a simple pair of pants. He reached out for the scissors and cut the long braid, placing it in a pouch, cinching it shut, and placing it in the top drawer. Goodbye Korin. It is time I show the world who I am. And maybe, Tasuki will accept me again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Nuriko!"

All eyes turned to see Nuriko standing in the doorway, short hair, no makeup, and dressed in proper men's attire.

"Hello everyone."

He smiled at the gathered seishi and when he made eye contact with Tasuki, he felt his cheeks get warm and the stabbing pain in his chest returned. The bandit just stared at him, his surprise evident, but his eyes were still hard.

Hotohori came up to him and played with his hair, a look of sadness on his face, "Nuriko, what have you done? You're lovely hair…"

"It wasn't really my hair Hotohori. It was my sister's." He saw the looks on their faces and he went to join his friends gathered around the table.

"My given name is Ryuuen. I had a twin sister, Korin. When we were ten, we went to market with mother. She had fallen behind, pausing to look at some books at a stand. When I looked back for her, she was running to catch up with us." Nuriko chuckled, a wistful smile on his face, "She was smiling so proudly at the book she'd found, and she was so happy, she wasn't paying attention. She was……trampled by a carriage. I was so horrified at the sight I passed out." Nuriko looked down into his lap, clutching handfuls of his pants, fighting back the tears, even after all these years. "Korin was my other half. It was months and I still had not come to terms with her loss. One day, in a fit of grief I dressed in her clothes and refused to dress or act like a boy. This way, my sister was always alive."

"Your story explains everything except why you decided to finally put your sister's memory to rest."

Nuriko looked over at Miaka and smiled. "Ever the observant one priestess." He dared a quick glance at Tasuki who had been sitting silently, staring out the window the whole time. "I realized that I am a seishi of Suzaku and if I'm going to dedicate my life to you priestess, my heart cannot be weighed down by past regrets."

Miaka got up from her chair and went over to the seishi, kneeling down in front of him, taking his hands in hers. "You are a powerful and beautiful person Nuriko. But I cannot accept what you offer." She reached up and held his cheek, smiling, "I accept your loyalty and friendship, but not your life. I could never ask you, or any one of my friends, to give their life for me."

Nuriko sank down to his knees and hugged Miaka to him. The priestess hugged him back fiercely, and was soon joined by Hotohori and the others. When Nuriko looked up he saw Tasuki standing in the doorway, watching them. When their eyes met, Tasuki jumped and Nuriko saw some color in his cheeks. Tasuki… The bandit disappeared as the group hug broke up.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For the next month, Tasuki avoided Nuriko whenever possible and when they did converse, it was mostly business and very straightforward. Nuriko had taken to hanging out with Tamahome more and the two were becoming good friends.

And at the moment they were enjoying a game of Conquer in one of the many rooms the seishi used as a gathering place. Everyone else had gone to bed and they were the only two left. Nuriko didn't sleep much anymore, his dreams full of pain and heartache, his sleep fitful at best.

"Ha! The gods are with me tonight! You're going down my friend." Tamahome smiled as he rubbed the dice in his hand, ready for another turn.

Nuriko offered a sly smile and kept his voice even and matter of fact. "You are so confident for one who loses so often." He rolled the dice and frowned at the not-so-favorable roll. "Damn it!"

Tamahome laughed and held out his hand as Nuriko handed over two pieces to the gloating seishi. "All I need is one more straight roll and you're mine!"

Nuriko, his eyes cast down, began to fiddle with a playing piece, "Sorry Tama-baby, I belong to Miaka."

Tamahome stopped before he could release the dice and looked at his friend. His tone had become sad and he couldn't figure out why.

"Nuriko? Are you ok?"

Nuriko looked up and offered a fake smile, "Of course! Now roll the dice so I can win and go to bed."

"I'm going to win this game you stubborn baka!"

"No you're not."

"Yes I am!"

"No. You're. Not."

Tamahome leaned across the playing board, now on all fours, mere inches from Nuriko's face, "How confident are you that I'm going to lose?"

"Huh?" Nuriko could feel the heat rise to his cheeks and he leaned back on his hands, trying to put some distance between them.

"If you're so sure I'm going to lose, let's bet. What are you willing to bet Nuriko?"

"I-I don't know. Just roll the dice!"

"So you're not so confident after all, huh?"

Nuriko frowned at the arrogant drunk. I'm drunk too, but he's taking this a little too far. "Roll the dice."

The seishi let the dice drop from his hands, but neither looked down for the results. "Can you see the dice Nuriko?"

Nuriko tore his eyes from the blue diamonds gazing at him to look for the dice. He spied the green cubes and a smile slowly appeared on his face. He looked back up, his voice soft in the quiet room.

"Sorry Tama-baby. But like I said, I belong to Miaka."

Tamahome looked down and saw the poor role the fates had given him. He looked up and saw Nuriko smiling at him sheepishly, shrugging his shoulders.

"Oh well. That's that. Goodnight."

Tamahome reached out before Nuriko could move and pulled him towards him, hand behind his neck, and kissed him. Nuriko was too stunned to react at first. Then he cleared his mind and pushed Tamahome away.

"What are you doing?"

"Nuriko…I care for you. I know it sounds stupid but since we've been spending so much time together, I've really gotten a chance to know you personally and lately, I've just wanted to…" He reached out and caressed Nuriko's cheek, "I'm sorry, I just couldn't stand it anymore. Please don't hate me Nuriko."

"I don't hate you. I'm…surprised. I never thought…"

"But you don't feel the same way, do you?" Tamahome shifted forward and kneeled in front of Nuriko, the game board forgotten. "I've noticed how you've changed the past few months, but I just figured that had to do with leaving your sister behind. There's a certain sadness in your eyes and I want to make it go away. Let me make you happy Nuriko." Tamahome let his fingers tangle themselves into Nuriko's hair. "Say yes."

"I can't---"

Tamahome kissed Nuriko again, this time leaning in and pushing the seishi onto his back. He rested his body on Nuriko and his hands gently stroked the raven hair. Nuriko's mind was swimming once again. The sake, the heat from Tamahome's body, the taste of his lips. He wants me. He accepts me. Why can't this be you Tasuki? Why can't you want me like this? The sharp pain in Nuriko's chest brought him around and he began to push Tamahome away, protesting.

"Tama-baby, you're drunk. You don't mean this."

Tamahome pulled back and Nuriko flinched at the pain in the blue eyes. "I am perfectly within my right mind. If you think real hard, you'll release I haven't taken a drink in the past hour. So don't use that as an excuse. And I'm not saying I love you Nuriko. I'm saying I care for you and I desire you and I want to see you happy again."

Nuriko silently cursed himself as he felt the tear slowly slide down his cheek and back into his hair. "Please, let me go." The seishi slowly rolled off and Nuriko sat up, wiping his face. "I'm sorry Tama-baby. I can't do this. I'm sorry." Nuriko stood up and headed for the door but Tamahome's voice stopped him.

"I'll be here when you need me Nuriko."

Nuriko made his way back to his room, more miserable than ever. As he walked through the breezeway, he looked out into the gardens and saw a lone figure sitting on the bridge. Who would be out there at this time of night? Nuriko decided he wanted the distraction from his current problems and hopped out into the garden, making his way over to the bridge.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Tasuki sat on the bridge, twirling the flower between his fingers. He inhaled deeply, immediately reminded of Nuriko. He often wore one in his hair before… Tasuki felt his chest tighten at the thought of Nuriko and he cursed the seishi for the hundredth time.

The first person I ever care for outside of my family….I made such a fool of myself! I kissed him.And it was wonderful. ButI'm not attracted to men. I was attracted to the woman I thought was Nuriko. Your long raven hair, your smile, that smooth pale skin, those violet eyes…. And now? What's truly changed? You're hair is shorter. You wear different clothes. But everything else….you're still beautiful Nuriko.

Tasuki let out a growl of frustration. How can I still be haunted by you! I just want my friend back. I want to drink and laugh together, I want to make Tama's life miserable with you. I just want to be with you….

Suddenly, Tasuki's chest didn't hurt anymore. Instead, he felt a flutter in his stomach and a smile threatening to break through. I'll be damned….

"Nuriko…I want to be with you."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

When Nuriko was close enough to the bridge that shouting wasn't necessary, he made his presence known, "Hello? Is someone there?"

The figure stood up in an instant. Nuriko stepped onto the bridge and stopped dead when he saw Tasuki standing there. His face flushed, looking like he was just caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"Oh, um…I'm sorry Tasuki. I didn't realize it was you out here. Sorry for disturbing you."

"What are you doing out here so late?" Tasuki let the flower he had been playing with drop silently into the stream below.

"I just finished playing Conquer with Tamahome and was on my way to bed."

The bandit scoffed and turned to lean against the bridge railing, looking out over the calm water. "Yeah, that would figure. I've seen the way you two are with each other."

"Nani? What's that supposed to mean? Tamahome is a good friend. To both of us." Nuriko approached Tasuki, but when he got within a few feet, the seishi backed away a few steps. "You still hate me, don't you?" Nuriko bowed his head and stared at his feet, "I miss your friendship Tasuki. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday. I am truly sorry for the pain I have caused you. Goodnight."

Nuriko bowed and walked away, heading back to his room when he heard Tasuki's voice, "I don't hate you Nuriko. I could never…you are my friend and I apologize for not being a very good one to you lately. I promise I'll try harder."

Nuriko didn't even turn around, "Don't force yourself to do something that isn't in your heart Tasuki." He started walking back to his room again. When he'd closed the door behind him, Nuriko's head hurt so much. The onslaught of emotions had drained him and he wanted to sleep for days. Tasuki, do you mean it? Do you still want to be my friend? Nuriko settled down into his bed, prepared for another restless night.

To be continued….