Disclaimer: The usual. Don't own 'em, wish I did.
A/N: Shounen Ai;
Follow Your Heart
Chapter 3
Hotohori walked down the corridor followed by his advisors and noticed Nuriko sitting on a bench by himself, just staring off into oblivion. "You will wait for us here." The emperor made his way out to his friend, "May I join you?"
Nuriko had been so lost in thought, he hadn't noticed Hotohori approach. "Of course."
Hotohori sat down and returned the smile being offered. "Nuriko, I am concerned about you."
"Me?"
"Ever since you decided to put your sister's death behind you, you haven't been your normal carefree self. You've withdrawn into yourself a bit."
"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. I've been having lots of fun with Tamahome and Chichiri has been mentoring me in various meditating techniques."
"What about Tasuki?"
Nuriko felt the heat rise to his cheeks and a quick stabbing pain ripped through his chest. "Tasuki? What about him?"
"You two were inseparable up until a month ago. What happened?"
Nuriko looked out at the manicured gardens surrounding them and took a deep breath. I have to talk to someone. Maybe if I can say it out loud, it will take some of the pain away. "Tasuki had feelings for me but he didn't know I was a man until that day I was badly injured saving him. And now…he says he doesn't hate me, but he avoids me."
Hotohori's eyes widened at the news. He'd thought there might be something more going on between those two but was never quite sure. And how could Tasuki not know Nuriko was a man?
"And what about you? What are your feelings toward Tasuki?"
Nuriko leaned back, staring up into the blue sky, "I love him. I have for a very long time."
"I see." Hotohori stood up and looked down at the miserable seishi. "I know the pain of unrequited love Nuriko. It will slowly devour your soul. You must resolve this one way or another. Either fight for your love and claim it, or bury it as you would anything else that has died."
Nuriko stood up, his face solemn, but Hotohori could see the life in the violet eyes. "Thank you Hotohori."
"Anytime my friend." Hotohori hugged his friend and made his way back to his advisors.
I will fight for you Tasuki. You have admitted to caring for me and that doesn't just go away. You cared for me, not the illusion, and I have to make you realize that.
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"You want to what!" Tasuki took a few steps back and stared at the seishi smiling calmly at him.
"Ok, maybe 'fight' isn't the right term. I would like to spar with you. I've been testing my skills against Tama-baby, Hotohori and Chichiri and you're the only one left before I have to start propositioning the enemy."
"No! It's a stupid idea! I can't believe you'd even ask such a thing."
Nuriko's brows furrowed slightly. I didn't want to have to do this but, "You said you'd try harder to be a friend Tasuki. Prove it."
Tasuki's cheeks flushed, but his eyes hardened as his words were thrown back in his face. Nuriko, you're up to something, I just know it. I haven't seen you sparring with anyone lately.
"Fine. Two days. Where and when?"
"Sunrise at the ruins."
"I'll be there."
"Thank you Tasuki." Nuriko kept the smile from his face until he was far enough away from the bandit. I will fight for you Tasuki. And I will win.
Tasuki watched Nuriko walk back into the main building. He didn't believe his story for one moment. He was going to question the others and catch him in his lie. But I'll still spar with you Nuriko. This may be the opportunity I've been waiting for…...
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"So you're the next victim, huh?" Tamahome took a sip of sake and smirked at the bandit. "Don't let him fool you. He's not just brute strength."
"Really."
Tamahome leaned back and focused on a point on the ceiling, his face softening as he recalled the sparring match. "He's quick and very agile. Gods he can move! And you know what a strategist he is, right? You can see him thinking three moves ahead of you. You better watch yourself Tasuki. Don't take him lightly. You'll regret it."
Tasuki scoffed and downed the remaining sake in his cup. "You sound like you're in love Tama. It's just a sparring match."
"I am in love."
"Nani!" Tasuki spit out the sake and grabbed his fellow seishi by the collar, "What the hell are you talking about!"
Tamahome was surprised by the anger from the bandit, but regained his head quickly and shoved him away, standing up, fists clenched, "What's your problem fang boy!"
Tasuki glared at his friend, body shaking. "You're in love with Nuriko? That's bullshit!"
"It's not bullshit! And why do you suddenly care so much anyway? From what I've seen lately you want nothing to do with him."
Tasuki glared at Tamahome. The thought of Nuriko with Tamahome suddenly driving the bandit insane. "Does he….love you?"
Tamahome stared at the bandit, realization suddenly setting in. He let the tension go and slumped down into the chair. Tasuki is in love with Nuriko. Unbelievable! But if he's in love with him, why does he avoid him? Is that why you turned me away Nuriko? Do you love Tasuki as well? Tamahome's thoughts were interrupted when he heard the bandit yelling his name.
"Hey! Tama! I asked you a question! Tama!" Tasuki took a step toward the confounded seishi but stopped in his tracks when the blue eyes fixed on him.
Tamahome slowly stood up and began to walk out of the room. Before he entered the hallway, he turned back and looked at the enraged bandit, "I guess we'll find out in two days."
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Nuriko sat on a pile of rubble, his stomach in knots as he waited for Tasuki to arrive. He couldn't sleep last night, so he'd come here hours ago, enjoying the darkness and the quiet before the fire and destruction. He didn't expect this to be a typical sparring match. Nuriko expected both of them to come away with injuries and he wouldn't be surprised if there was nothing left of the ruins when they were done.
He started to review his fighting strategy when he heard the familiar voice behind him.
"I'll give you one more chance to back out of this crazy idea."
Nuriko smiled and turned to face the bandit, "I'm not backing down."
Tasuki shrugged and threw his cloak off to the side. "Alright then. Let's get this over with."
Nuriko positioned himself on top of a half-collapsed pillar, his mind and body finally calm now that the moment of truth had arrived. Tasuki…
Tasuki pulled out the harisen and fixed hard eyes on the seishi. He was standing on the pillar, calm, confident and beautiful. He shook his head, silently cursing himself. Damn it, I've gotta concentrate! He focused on the seishi again, this time watching his body for any movement, instead of the violet eyes which seemed to see right into him.
"I'm waiting. Are you scared?"
Nuriko smiled at the orange-haired seishi. "No, I'm not scared anymore." He saw the surprise in the bandit's eyes and used that moment to attack.
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"Rekka Shinen!"
Nuriko flew up into the trees, barely avoiding the deadly attack. When the flames died down, he glared at the bandit on the ground.
"You bastard! Are you trying to kill me!"
Tasuki just stared at the pissed off seishi in the tree. He couldn't quite hear what he was saying because his heart was pounding in his ears. He hadn't meant to use that attack. He'd never forgive himself if he hurt, much less killed, Nuriko. He'd sooner kill himself. But he was trying so hard to focus on the fight and not on Nuriko, he'd messed up. Big time.
"Sorry! Got caught up in the moment!" He lowered his harisen and took a few steps back, waiting for Nuriko to come down.
Nuriko watched the seishi from above and wondered for the hundredth time if this was such a good idea. They'd been fighting for quite some time now and the pain in his ribs was getting worse. He'd probably just bruised them, but the continued fighting was making things worse. Maybe I should just end it now. I'm hurt, Tasuki almost killed me, and I don't seem to be winning the real battle here. He doesn't seem like his old self around me.
Nuriko jumped down and landed in a crouched position, bowing his head to hide the grimace of pain. He slowly stood up and ran a hand through his hair, still slightly unaccustomed to the short length.
"Maybe we should call it a day. Obviously you're distracted and--"
"I said I was sorry, now let's go!" He took a ready position, his harisen raised and half open.
"No, Tasuki. Maybe some other day." He went to sit down against a nearby tree and tried to smile through the grimace of pain, "Thanks for sparring with me. It meant a lot." He leaned his head back against the tree, closed his eyes and exhaled deeply.
Tasuki stood there not sure what he should do. This was the first time in months they'd spent any real time together alone and he wasn't ready to leave yet. He saw Nuriko trying to hide the pain with a smile and scoffed.
"You're dismissing me? Just like that?"
"Huh? No, I just--"
Tasuki went over and retrieved his cloak, tucking his harisen in his belt. "Yeah, yeah. I saw you trying to hide the pain. You just don't want to admit how much I hurt you." He sank down onto his knees, a smirk on his face.
Nuriko warmed at the sight of the very familiar and welcome smirk. He loved that smirk. "I have no problem admitting how much you hurt me Tasuki." Nuriko turned away, mumbling to himself, "I just can't admit it to you."
"What was that?"
"N-nothing."
"Well, let me take a look at ya." Tasuki reached for the tie on Nuriko's tunic and the seishi pulled away, cheeks flushed, pushing Tasuki away. "What's wrong? Let me see how badly you're hurt baka."
"No! I said I'm fine. There's no need for you to undress me." Nuriko suddenly felt the need to run away. All this time spent agonizing over Tasuki and wanting to spend time with him and now that they were alone…he was scared. Nuriko made his way down the slope, one arm bracing his ribs. Why am I scared to be alone with him?
"I said stop damn it!"
Nuriko froze at the command coming from behind him. He turned just in time to see Tasuki come to a stop a few feet away.
"What's wrong with you? Why did you run away from me?"
"I..I said I'm fine. What more do you want from me?"
"I want a better explanation."
Nuriko gazed helplessly at the bandit before him. He was tired, hurt and his whole body was shaking from being so close to him. Tasuki, why can't you leave me to my misery? Nuriko took a painful deep breath and looked away.
"I have no better explanation Tasuki. I'm tired and I'm hurt and I just want to go to bed."
Tasuki studied the seishi. He studied everything from his long eyelashes and pink lips, to his dusty clothes with the small tear in the leg and long slender fingers. Nuriko…how many times have I seen you look like this after a battle? Whether you dress like a man or a woman, you're still Nuriko, aren't you? I've been so stupid and prideful and I've hurt both of us so much. I promise I'll make it up to you, starting right now.
"C'mon then."
Nuriko started at the strangled voice. He stared in confusion as Tasuki supported him by his upper arm and led him down the hill.
"Tasuki.."
The bandit turned to meet the violet eyes, a warm smile on his face, "Yeah?"
Nuriko's breath caught in his chest. It was Tasuki, his best friend, smiling at him. His eyes were warm and the smile was genuine. Did I win after all? Has he forgiven me?
"N-never mind."
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They made their way carefully back to the palace and Tasuki helped Nuriko all the way to his room. Nuriko leaned against the wall of the alcove that contained the door to his room.
"Thanks for helping me to my room."
"You're welcome. But I'm not leaving yet. You need a bath before you go to bed." Tasuki saw the shock and blush on the seishi's face and he smiled, "I'm not going to bathe you baka. I'm a fighter, not a servant. C'mon." He slid the door open and led Nuriko inside, helping him to sit down in a nearby chair. "Now you stay here and I'll go get some help."
"Tasuki stop." The orange-haired seishi whirled to face him, looking as if the events of the past month or so hadn't happened. "Why...are you doing this?"
"Because you are my best friend and I want to. Ok?"
Nuriko nodded mutely and sat there, stunned. Am I dreaming? Did that last attack really kill me and I'm in heaven or something? Nuriko was still in a daze when two servants entered the room and helped him out of his clothes and into a steaming bath. When he emerged from the bath, Nuriko was disappointed not to find Tasuki waiting for him. He put on a yakata and settled into bed, relieved to be still. His thoughts drifted to Tasuki but it didn't last long. He was so tired and sleep overcame him quickly.
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The servant found Tasuki in his quarters and informed him that Nuriko was comfortable in bed now. The seishi made his way back to Nuriko's room, having washed and changed as well. When he slid the door to Nuriko's room closed and kneeled by his side, he couldn't help but chuckle.
"Baka. This is what happens when you don't sleep at night and then try and go toe to toe with me." He brushed some errant hair from the sleeping seishi's face, admiring its peaceful beauty. "Gods Nuriko you are beautiful."
Tasuki reached out and let his finger trace his jaw line. Tasuki's eyes roamed over the seishi's face and then he leaned in, kissing him lightly on the forehead.
Nuriko's eyes fluttered open and violet eyes gazed dreamily at amber eyes. "Tasuki?"
They just stare at each other until Tasuki can't stand it any longer. He leans the few inches in and kisses Nuriko on the lips. When he pulls back, his heart soars at the small smile greeting him.
"Am I dreaming?"
Tasuki strokes the soft raven hair and smiles, "Yes Nuriko. You're dreaming. So close your eyes and enjoy." Nuriko obeyed and closed his eyes. Tasuki stayed by his side trying to figure out his feelings for this man. What do I do? Is this love that I feel for you Nuriko? Sitting here now there is no way I can deny my attraction to you.
"I have so much I want to tell you. I hope I have the courage."
Tasuki left Nuriko to sleep in peace, hoping that Nuriko's dream would continue once he awoke.
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Nuriko sat on the edge of the temple portico, enjoying the early morning quiet and his cup of steaming hot tea. His ribs still hurt, but knowing that Tasuki was his friend again, made it worth the pain. He'd had the most wonderful dream where Tasuki was by his side, taking care of him, and loving him. It was the first good dream and peaceful rest he'd had in over a month.
The sound of a bird taking flight caught his attention and when he looked, he saw Tamahome emerging from the mist.
"Good morning Tama-baby. What are you doing up so early?"
He hopped up and sat down next to Nuriko, "I couldn't sleep so I've been wandering about the grounds. You?"
"I slept most of yesterday away, and I woke up really early this morning. So I thought I'd enjoy the sunrise."
Tamahome admired the seishi next to him. He cared for Nuriko. He really did. And maybe telling Tasuki he was in love with him was a bit much, but not too far from the truth. He'd just reacted with such anger Tamahome felt the need to back his statement up.
He hadn't slept much last night because he was so uptight about what happened between Nuriko and Tasuki yesterday. He couldn't find Tasuki and was told Nuriko was not to be disturbed. But now...
"So. How'd it go with Tasuki yesterday? I tried to ask him but he disappeared for the whole day."
Nuriko raised an eyebrow at the news of Tasuki and his mind began to race with possibilities. Not all of them good. He took a sip of tea and looked out over the temple courtyard.
"It went well. I ended up bruising my ribs, but I'm already starting to feel better."
"How well did he fare?"
Nuriko chuckled and then winced, "Better than me that's for sure." He took another sip of tea and noticed the look on his friend's face. "Is there something on your mind Tama-baby?"
Tamahome stared at Nuriko. I want to know if you love Tasuki. I want to know if you care for me at all. Do I have a place in your heart Nuriko?
"Huh? Oh!" He smiled and leaned back against the pillar, "I was just thinking that if fang boy got away without so much as a scratch, then I'm slipping. When we sparred, you got me pretty good."
"I was just having a lucky day when I sparred with you. We all know you're the most powerful warrior among us."
"That's just power though. You and Tasuki on the other hand….you both have strength, agility and think fast on your feet. Maybe I should start training with you instead of sensei."
"Or maybe you should actually train with sensei instead of goofing around."
Tamahome leaned in, his eyes sparkling, voice low. "But I'm goofing off with you. And I like it."
Nuriko saw that look again and couldn't keep the blush from his cheeks. "I like hanging out with you too Tama-baby, but we should---"
His words were cutoff my Tamahome's lips pressed against his. Nuriko was so taken by surprise, he dropped his tea cup. When Tamahome pulled back and looked into the violet eyes, he couldn't hold back.
"Your lips taste so sweet."
Nuriko's heart was pounding. "T-tama…."
"I know Tasuki thinks he's in love with you, but--" Nuriko's eyes went wide and he jumped down to the ground. "Nuriko?"
"H-how do you know this? Did he tell you?" Nuriko's legs threatened to give way from under him, but he kept his eyes fixed on the blue ones before him.
"No, he didn't tell me. I just figured it out. When I mentioned that I cared for you, he reacted violently. And the fact that he stopped being your friend, just made it more obvious."
Nuriko began to breathe heavy, and his head began to hurt. Why can't you tell me this Tasuki? I shouldn't be hearing this from anyone other than you.
"I have to go."
"Wait!" He caught up with Nuriko, hands on his shoulders, "How can you love someone who doesn't even have the courage to tell you!"
"The courage to tell him what Ghost boy?"
Both seishi turned stunned eyes to the frowning orange-haired bandit. He stood, arms crossed over chest, his eyes drilling into Tamahome. He started to walk towards the pair and Tamahome let go of Nuriko, backing away a few steps. The bandit never let his eyes leave Tamahome's as he came to a stop at Nuriko's side.
"I'd like to speak to Nuriko. Privately, if you don't mind."
Tamahome looked to Nuriko and he nodded at the unspoken question. The seishi nodded to Nuriko and walked back to the palace. He knew he'd lost Nuriko. But somehow it didn't make him angry. He was a little sad, but at the same time, Nuriko and Tasuki were his friends and if they'd found each other, than he'd be happy for them. But it was going to take a lot of sake before he could reach that point.
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Tasuki watched Tamahome until his form faded into the remaining mist. When he turned to Nuriko, he saw confused violet eyes gazing at him.
"When I didn't find you in your room, I figured you'd be here. Although I thought you'd be alone."
Nuriko took a deep breath to steady himself before speaking. "I can't do this anymore Tasuki. Please end my misery one way or another. Do you love me?"
It was Tasuki's turn to register shock as he heard the bold question. It had taken him so long to work up enough courage to get this far but Nuriko was apparently tired of waiting. Not that he blamed him.
"Nuriko, it's not that simple for me. Tama was right. I'm scared. I don't know what to do."
"It's very simple. You either love me or you don't. You want to kiss me or you don't."
Tasuki ran his hands through his hair and began to wander around the temple courtyard, acting as if no one were there to hear him rant.
"Gods this is crazy! I have been going insane these past months and just when I thought I had it figured out, here I am, back at square one, confused as ever. Damn it! Why can't I just say it? Why does it matter if you're a man? You look the same, act the same. So what's the big deal!"
Nuriko listened to the seishi rant as he walked around the courtyard and the more he heard, the more determined he became. He marched up to Tasuki and cupped his face and kissed him deeply. He felt the bandit's body stiffen, so Nuriko pulled the kiss back a bit, gently caressing his lips and mouth with his tongue. Tasuki's body began to relax and Nuriko started to encourage him, whispering to him as he continued to kiss him.
"You don't know how long I've wanted you. You taste so good Tasuki." Nuriko felt hesitant hands on his hips, so he let his own hands slide down from the bandit's face and come to rest on his chest. He could feel the seishi's pounding heart as it matched his own. "You don't have to say it. But I do love you and I want to show you how much."
Hands slowly snaked their way around Nuriko's waist and he thought his legs were going to give out for sure. He leaned into Tasuki and let out a little moan. This seemed to be the best encouragement because Tasuki began to kiss Nuriko back. Hungrily. He trailed down Nuriko's neck and then buried his face at the base of his neck, squeezing Nuriko so tight, he almost couldn't breathe.
"I'm sorry for hurting you Nuriko. I was stupid and didn't know what to do."
All Nuriko could do was bury his face in Tasuki's shoulder as he felt the tears coming. "But….I hope you can be patient with me. I'm trying. I…want to make you happy Nuriko. Just give me time. Please."
Nuriko pulled away, wiping his face and chuckling through his tears, "Suzaku no Baka! You make me happy just by being my friend. Everything else will come in its own time. Ok?" Nuriko warmed at the fanged smile. He missed that smile so much. Nuriko nodded his head toward the palace and began to walk, "Now, I want to spar with you again and get my revenge for these bruised ribs."
"Wasn't defeat at my hands once enough for you? You're not even healed from last time. Are you that much a glutton for punishment?"
"Next time I'm not going to holdback."
"You weren't holding back last time! Admit it, I got the better of you."
Nuriko sent a sideways smirk at his friend, "Never."
"That's it! You asked for it."
Tasuki grabbed Nuriko to him and kissed him deeply. When he pulled back they were both breathless. "Wow. I'll have to ask for that more often."
The end
I know, sucky ending butI just couldn't seem to come up with something better. I like leaving them going off together, back to being best friends and heading towards a future as lovers.