Disclaimer: The only things that don't belong to JK Rowling are me (Jess)
my friend Niki and her mum, everything else does. Not fair.
***
After I got over the initial embarrassment and shock I grabbed Niki by the arm and dragged her to her feet, apologising profusely to the people she'd knocked over. I realised I'd been apologising for Niki a lot lately. Then I turned to Niki and gave her a death glare, which she didn't seem to notice. Hannah, however did, and herded Niki through the doors as if she was afraid I might act on it, leaving me with Ernie.
"Well that was embarrassing." He said.
"Never."
"I was only saying."
"Well don't."
"No need to snap at me, it wasn't my fault she stopped at the foot of the stairs." Well that was true, but it didn't make it any more bearable. In fact it made me feel worse for snapping at him.
"I never said it was."
"Good."
"I suppose we should go inside." I said.
"I guess you're right."
"Of course I am. I'm always right."
"That point's debatable."
"Hey!" I said slapping him on the arm. He laughed at me and I slapped him again.
As we entered the Great Hall my eyes automatically went to the ceiling. It was just as well Ernie was pushing me along or I would have stopped dead, no doubt causing a scene just like Niki. I was awe struck. Ernie shoved me into a seat next to a boy I didn't know and sat down next to me. When I'd stopped admiring the ceiling I noticed Niki and Hannah were sitting opposite me.
"Sorry." Said Niki.
"It's ok." I said.
"Thank Merlin." Said Hannah.
I turned round to look at her. "Thank Merlin why exactly?"
"I know what you two are like. That could have lasted for ages."
"What could have lasted for ages?" asked Niki.
"Your little falling out."
"We fell out?" I asked.
"What did we fall out over?" asked Niki.
"You two are impossible." Said Hannah.
"We try." We said at exactly the same time. Then we burst into fits of giggles. We're so grown up. Hannah put her head in her hands.
"Sssh." Said the boy on my left. "The first years." A group of surprisingly small first years were walking down the isle between our table and the Ravenclaw table. I could have sworn I wasn't that small at eleven. Niki on the other hand I could see that, she's always been "vertically challenged" as she likes to put it.
"Isn't your cousin Lorna starting this year?" Ernie asked the boy.
"Yeah. There she is there, next to that boy with the blonde hair."
"There?" he asked pointing to a girl near the front.
"No a bit further back."
"Her?"
"Yes that's her."
"The girl with the reddish blonde hair?" asked Hannah turning around in her seat to get a better look.
Their conversation from my point of view was getting very boring, so I resigned myself to looking around the hall. Over Hannah's shoulder and through the midst of the first years I could see the Ravenclaw table where a group of fourth years were whispering and pointing at the ickle people as they shall now be called. Past the Ravenclaw table I could see the Slytherins and the back of Draco Malfoy's very blonde head. On either side of him were two very large people who could only be Crabbe and Goyle. I didn't think being that big was physically possible, and it wasn't because they were particularly fat, although they were that too, it's just they were so...... big. From the back they resembled big black gateposts with hair. Professor McGonagall, calling for quiet, interrupted me from my very interesting train of thought.
A stool was carried out, with a tatty old hat sat on the top. Then a rip near the brim opened and it began to sing. I didn't really pay attention to the words (because the author isn't smart enough or have enough energy to make up her own sorting song).
When the hat had finished Professor McGonagall stepped forwards and unrolled a piece of parchment. "Can Adams, Jacob step up to the stool please." She called out.
A smaller than average, jumpy looking boy with mousy brown hair walked forward. He sat on the stool and placed the hat on his head. After a minute of silence, during which poor Jacob Adams looked absolutely terrified the hat called out "HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Woo! " shouted Niki jumping to her feet. I cheered along with the rest of the Hufflepuff table as well, as Jacob came over and seated himself at the end near the staff table.
"Atherton, Katie."
A blonde girl walked up to the stool and sat down. She didn't look as terrified as poor Jacob did but nervous all the same. After a few seconds the hat called out "RAVENCLAW!"
I joined in with the polite applause as "Barnett, Joshua" was called up. He became a Ravenclaw as well and then "Barnsley, Keith" was made a Gryffindor.
Next up was "Calder, Laticia." A girl with exceedingly dark hair and frighteningly pale skin walked up to the stool with an air of absolute confidence. She looked like your stereotype evil Slytherin. She sat down and placed the hat very carefully on her head as if she was afraid it would mess up her hair. After a moment it called out "SLYTHERIN!" Which proved she was your stereotype evil Slytherin.
There were cheers from the Slytherin table and hisses and booing from the Gryffindors. Along our table there was scatter of light applause, all bar Niki who was whistling and clapping for all she was worth. People were giving her odd looks.
She eventually shut up when Professor McGonagall called for "Douglas, Marie" who, by the way, ended up in Gryffindor.
Next was "Elliott, Philip" who by unlucky chance ended up in Slytherin as well, which meant Niki started cheering extraordinarily loud again. Well there was only one thing for it. I started cheering loudly too. After all it was the logical thing to do. Logical in what way I'm not sure but logical all the same. This earned me despairing looks from Hannah, Ernie and the boy on my left. I wonder why?
After a couple more people were sorted McGonagall called the name "Finch- Fletchley, Lorna." So this was the Lorna they were talking about. Lorna Finch-Fletchley. So that meant the boy on my left was most likely a Finch- Fletchley, and the only Finch-Fletchley I knew was Justin Finch-Fletchley. So he must be Justin. Yay for my logical mind! Although most people would be able to work that out in a second, most probably. Lorna, who did have reddish blonde hair and was also quite short, wandered over to the sorting hat. She sat down, placed the hat on her head and it immediately called out "HUFFLEPUFF!"
Lorna came over to our table and I was made to shift over so she could sit next to her cousin. Hannah leant across the table and extended her hand. "Hannah Abbott." She said.
Lorna took her hand and shook it "Lorna Finch-Fletchley. Nice to meet you Hannah."
Justin then introduced everybody else. "Sitting next to you is Jessica Neilson." He said. "Nice girl, but a bit strange. And sarcastic too."
"You can call me Jess." I said, kicking Justin under the table. I might not have known him but apparently he knew me, and he deserved it. Me sarcastic? The nerve.
"Right." Said Lorna. "Jess."
"Opposite you is Hannah, but you already know that. On Hannah's left, opposite Jess is Niki Harris."
"And she's totally and utterly normal." I added.
"Yeah right." Said Justin. "As normal as they come Niki."
"Ok." said Lorna. "So it's Jess, Hannah, Niki." She said pointing at us as she said our names.
"Right." Said Justin. "On the right of Jess is Ernie Macmillan."
"Who has a secret crush on Professor Trelawny." I put in.
"Which is not so secret anymore." Said Justin; while Ernie decided hitting me hard on the shoulder would be the best course of action.
"Don't listen to a word she says." He told Lorna. Lorna just laughed.
While all this was going on various other people were being sorted into Houses. The last person to be sorted was "Youdes, Karen" who was sorted into Slytherin. Niki again decided to embarrass herself by cheering loudly. So I did too. As did Lorna, earning herself an elbowing in the ribs from her cousin. I could have sworn I heard the rest of the Hufflepuff table groan in despair and I'm positive I also heard Hannah mutter "Not another one." But never mind that.
After the clapping had died down Dumbledore stood up at the staff table. "Welcome everyone." He said. "All I have to say is this: Let's eat!"
This caused a considerable amount of cheering. As the headmaster sat down the plates in front of us filled with food. I would, ordinarily have found this amazing but at the time I was too hungry. I just grabbed some roast potatoes and a cheese and onion pastie instead.
On the opposite side of the table Niki had Neville's toad out (which I'd forgotten she still had) and was trying to feed him mashed potatoes. "Niki." I heard Hannah say. "I don't think Trevor likes mash."
"He does too, it's his favourite. " Said Niki.
"Then why is he not eating it if he likes it so much?"
"Maybe it's too milky."
"Oh." Was Hannah's elaborate reply. As I've mentioned Niki has that effect on people.
Ernie was busy talking to a girl to sitting diagonally opposite him. I could hear snatches of their conversation, which seemed to be about O.W.L's. How interesting. Not.
Justin was telling Lorna about the teachers and what not. "Now our Head of House is Professor Sprout." He was saying.
"She teaches Herbology right?"
"Yes. Now if you ever need a hand in Herbology ask Ernie, he's pretty smart. Or Jess. Jess is fairly good at Herbology, aren't you Jess?" he said turning to me.
"Oh. Yeah." I said. "Sure." Me? Good at Herbology? This came as a bit of a shock. Me being good anything would have come as a bit of a shock mind you.
"Right. So who's that?" she asked Justin, pointing to the woman on Professor Sprout's right. She was young looking and had light brown hair, from what I could see she was laughing at something Professor Sprout had just told her
"Oh that's the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Don't have a clue what her name is though."
"She looks ok," said Lorna.
"She does. But never judge a book by its cover." He said trying to sound intelligent but failing miserably.
"True." I piped up. "For example, Niki there might look like someone completely normal," at this Justin snorted, I ignored him and carried on "but really she's adopted and is the secret lovechild of Captain Obvious and Little Miss Ditzy."
"Oh." Said Lorna. " Good to know."
"Yes." Said Justin. "Fascinating."
"Isn't it just?"
"Uh huh. So who's that?" Lorna asked pointing to someone else.
"That's Professor Snape."
"The Potions Master?"
"Yes."
"I have a feeling I'm not going to like him very much."
"You're not." Said Justin. "He's nasty piece of work."
"That's because he's secretly in love with Professor McGonagall but he knows he can never have her." Guess who said this? Me of course. I have a tendency to add logical comments into a conversation.
"Sure he is Jess." Said Justin.
"Actually that makes sense." Said Hannah, who had apparently despaired of trying to convince Niki toads didn't eat mash, joining in our conversation instead.
"It makes sense how?" asked Ernie who appeared to have been listening in as well.
"Well he hates all Gryffindors for a start." Hannah said.
"He's head of Slytherin, that's why he hates all Gryffindors Hannah."
"Ah, but he's never very civil with McGonagall is he?"
"Good Point." I commented.
"And that means he fancies her?" asked Ernie.
"Of course it does." Said Hannah. "He's being nasty to hide his true feelings because he fears rejection." She seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face.
"You know Hannah, I'm beginning to worry about you." Said Justin. "You must be spending far too much time around Niki and Jess. You're beginning to think like them."
"And what's so bad about that?" I asked him.
"You just have a very mangled sense logic that's all."
Mangled? How insulting. My logics impeccable. "My logic is not mangled," I told him "it's perfect."
"Whatever you say Jess."
"Well I'm glad you agree with me."
I turned back to finishing my pastie. Mangled? What an outrage. I'd just finished eating when my plate cleared of crumbs and dessert arrived. "Look Jess, there's cheesecake!" said Niki.
"I don't like cheesecake Niki. Ernie can you pass me one of those caramel shortbread things?"
"Sure."
"Why don't you like cheesecake?" Niki asked.
"I just don't."
"But cheesecake's the best." Niki said sounding scandalised.
"You might think it is but I don't."
"But it is." Said Niki.
"She's right," piped up Lorna. "Cheesecake is the queen of all puddings."
"No it's not." Said Hannah. "Chocolate gateaux's better."
Niki gasped. "Treason!" she exclaimed. Niki using the word treason? Wow.
"What a terrible thing to say!" said Lorna.
"You'll hurt the cheesecake's feelings." Said Niki. "In fact I'm surprised you've not been arrested yet."
"By who?" I asked.
"The Pudding Patrol." Said Niki. She has some imagination Niki.
"The Pudding Patrol?" asked Ernie.
"Uh huh. They're the Queen' s personal Police Force. Aren't they Lorna?"
"Sure they are." Said Lorna. "I'm a personal friend of one of the sergeants don't you know. I have tea at his every Sunday."
This conversation was getting too weird for my liking, so I turned back to my shortbread and let them get on with it. If they wanted to talk about The Pudding Patrol then who was I to stop them? But I was going to keep out of it.
After finishing of my pudding and half-listening to Ernie and Hannah arguing over which was better, strawberry cheesecake or black forest gateaux, the plates in front of us cleared and Professor Dumbledore stood up.
"Can I have your attention please?" he called. Everybody hushed and he began to speak "As always, I've been asked to remind you the forest is out of bounds to all students. I've also been asked to remind you there should be no magic in the corridors between lessons or at any other time."
"Quidditch try-outs will most probably be held within the next two weeks, if you are a second year or above and are interested in joining your house team I would ask you to keep and eye out for a notice on your common room notice board."
"I would also like to introduce our newest member of staff Miss Jenna Kirkhall." At this he waved his hand in the Professor's direction and she gave a small nod and a smile. "She will be teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts this year, and I hope you will all make her feel most welcome. Now I'm sure you are all feeling quite worn out and would like to get to bed. So if no-one else has anything they want to say?" he looked around at the rest of the staff table. Then he turned back to us "Well, off you go then."
I'd just like to mention I'm surprised I remembered this entire speech. My memory can be worse than Niki's.
Everybody started to get up from the table. Lorna drifted over to where the rest of the ickle people were standing with the fifth year prefects. I followed Justin and Ernie out into the entrance hall. Niki and Hannah caught us up and we walked to the Hufflepuff common room together, making sure to pay attention. I didn't want to get lost. Niki didn't seem to be paying much attention, as she was busy talking to Trevor about fish. Only God knows what goes through her head and don't think He really wants to either.
When reached a portrait of a young looking blonde witch we stopped and Hannah said "Doxycide". The girl smiled and the portrait swung open.
"Why Doxycide?" asked Justin, as we stepped inside.
"Why not?" said Ernie.
Justin just shrugged. "Well I'm knackered." He said. "I think I'll go get sorted and go to bed." He disappeared through a door to the left.
"I'm exhausted as well." Said Hannah. "You coming?" she asked Niki and me.
"Yeah." I replied. "Good idea. Come on Niki."
We followed Hannah through another door and down a corridor. We stopped at the door at the end of the hallway and Hannah opened it. Inside were four double beds each with white drapes and a goldish yellow bedspread. I glanced around and saw my trunk at the end of the bed near the wall. I walked over and threw myself down on the bed.
"Tired?" asked Hannah.
"Very."
Niki didn't seem that tired; she was wandering around the room looking at everything with interest. She knelt down at the end of the bed across from mine and started rummaging around in her trunk. "Here we are." She said pulling out her yellow and black scarf. She then climbed up on the bed so she could reach the top of her wardrobe, rolled the scarf into a bundle and placed it on top.
"Niki what are you doing?" Hannah asked.
"Making a bed for Trevor."
"Oh."
"Strange child." I muttered.
"Am not! I'm totally normal." said Niki.
"You keep telling yourself that Niki."
"I will." Niki then took Trevor out of her pocket and put him on top of the wardrobe.
At this point a girl with long reddish hair wandered in. "Hi Hannah. Jess. Niki...what are you doing with that toad?"
"I'm adopting him. Neville is not fit to look after a toad."
"Oh. Well that makes sense."
"Of course it does she's Niki." I said
"No, I mean Neville's been looking for him. He's dead worried."
"Some memory Neville has." Said Hannah. "Niki's had him since the train."
"You'll have to give him back tomorrow Niki." I told her.
"No!" said Niki. "Never!" Well that didn't go down well.
"But Niki he's not your toad."
"So? I like him. And he likes me. I give him mashed potatoes."
"That's not the point."
"It is so the point."
I sighed. "Ok Niki. How about you keep him for now and we'll talk about it in the morning?"
"Ok." she agreed grudgingly. She patted Trevor on the head. "It's ok Trevor I'm sure my mum will lend me money for a good lawyer."
I shook my head at that. A custody battle over a toad? For some reason I think that's something only Niki would think of. And I could just tell tomorrow was going to be a whole lot of fun. Not.
***
Yay chapter 3! And now the thank yous:
Nikkifier: Thank you very much Nikki-kait. I know you don't like Harry Snotter much so I appreciate you reading it.
ViviBlack: Thanks again for the review. I'm glad you still like it and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too.
***
After I got over the initial embarrassment and shock I grabbed Niki by the arm and dragged her to her feet, apologising profusely to the people she'd knocked over. I realised I'd been apologising for Niki a lot lately. Then I turned to Niki and gave her a death glare, which she didn't seem to notice. Hannah, however did, and herded Niki through the doors as if she was afraid I might act on it, leaving me with Ernie.
"Well that was embarrassing." He said.
"Never."
"I was only saying."
"Well don't."
"No need to snap at me, it wasn't my fault she stopped at the foot of the stairs." Well that was true, but it didn't make it any more bearable. In fact it made me feel worse for snapping at him.
"I never said it was."
"Good."
"I suppose we should go inside." I said.
"I guess you're right."
"Of course I am. I'm always right."
"That point's debatable."
"Hey!" I said slapping him on the arm. He laughed at me and I slapped him again.
As we entered the Great Hall my eyes automatically went to the ceiling. It was just as well Ernie was pushing me along or I would have stopped dead, no doubt causing a scene just like Niki. I was awe struck. Ernie shoved me into a seat next to a boy I didn't know and sat down next to me. When I'd stopped admiring the ceiling I noticed Niki and Hannah were sitting opposite me.
"Sorry." Said Niki.
"It's ok." I said.
"Thank Merlin." Said Hannah.
I turned round to look at her. "Thank Merlin why exactly?"
"I know what you two are like. That could have lasted for ages."
"What could have lasted for ages?" asked Niki.
"Your little falling out."
"We fell out?" I asked.
"What did we fall out over?" asked Niki.
"You two are impossible." Said Hannah.
"We try." We said at exactly the same time. Then we burst into fits of giggles. We're so grown up. Hannah put her head in her hands.
"Sssh." Said the boy on my left. "The first years." A group of surprisingly small first years were walking down the isle between our table and the Ravenclaw table. I could have sworn I wasn't that small at eleven. Niki on the other hand I could see that, she's always been "vertically challenged" as she likes to put it.
"Isn't your cousin Lorna starting this year?" Ernie asked the boy.
"Yeah. There she is there, next to that boy with the blonde hair."
"There?" he asked pointing to a girl near the front.
"No a bit further back."
"Her?"
"Yes that's her."
"The girl with the reddish blonde hair?" asked Hannah turning around in her seat to get a better look.
Their conversation from my point of view was getting very boring, so I resigned myself to looking around the hall. Over Hannah's shoulder and through the midst of the first years I could see the Ravenclaw table where a group of fourth years were whispering and pointing at the ickle people as they shall now be called. Past the Ravenclaw table I could see the Slytherins and the back of Draco Malfoy's very blonde head. On either side of him were two very large people who could only be Crabbe and Goyle. I didn't think being that big was physically possible, and it wasn't because they were particularly fat, although they were that too, it's just they were so...... big. From the back they resembled big black gateposts with hair. Professor McGonagall, calling for quiet, interrupted me from my very interesting train of thought.
A stool was carried out, with a tatty old hat sat on the top. Then a rip near the brim opened and it began to sing. I didn't really pay attention to the words (because the author isn't smart enough or have enough energy to make up her own sorting song).
When the hat had finished Professor McGonagall stepped forwards and unrolled a piece of parchment. "Can Adams, Jacob step up to the stool please." She called out.
A smaller than average, jumpy looking boy with mousy brown hair walked forward. He sat on the stool and placed the hat on his head. After a minute of silence, during which poor Jacob Adams looked absolutely terrified the hat called out "HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Woo! " shouted Niki jumping to her feet. I cheered along with the rest of the Hufflepuff table as well, as Jacob came over and seated himself at the end near the staff table.
"Atherton, Katie."
A blonde girl walked up to the stool and sat down. She didn't look as terrified as poor Jacob did but nervous all the same. After a few seconds the hat called out "RAVENCLAW!"
I joined in with the polite applause as "Barnett, Joshua" was called up. He became a Ravenclaw as well and then "Barnsley, Keith" was made a Gryffindor.
Next up was "Calder, Laticia." A girl with exceedingly dark hair and frighteningly pale skin walked up to the stool with an air of absolute confidence. She looked like your stereotype evil Slytherin. She sat down and placed the hat very carefully on her head as if she was afraid it would mess up her hair. After a moment it called out "SLYTHERIN!" Which proved she was your stereotype evil Slytherin.
There were cheers from the Slytherin table and hisses and booing from the Gryffindors. Along our table there was scatter of light applause, all bar Niki who was whistling and clapping for all she was worth. People were giving her odd looks.
She eventually shut up when Professor McGonagall called for "Douglas, Marie" who, by the way, ended up in Gryffindor.
Next was "Elliott, Philip" who by unlucky chance ended up in Slytherin as well, which meant Niki started cheering extraordinarily loud again. Well there was only one thing for it. I started cheering loudly too. After all it was the logical thing to do. Logical in what way I'm not sure but logical all the same. This earned me despairing looks from Hannah, Ernie and the boy on my left. I wonder why?
After a couple more people were sorted McGonagall called the name "Finch- Fletchley, Lorna." So this was the Lorna they were talking about. Lorna Finch-Fletchley. So that meant the boy on my left was most likely a Finch- Fletchley, and the only Finch-Fletchley I knew was Justin Finch-Fletchley. So he must be Justin. Yay for my logical mind! Although most people would be able to work that out in a second, most probably. Lorna, who did have reddish blonde hair and was also quite short, wandered over to the sorting hat. She sat down, placed the hat on her head and it immediately called out "HUFFLEPUFF!"
Lorna came over to our table and I was made to shift over so she could sit next to her cousin. Hannah leant across the table and extended her hand. "Hannah Abbott." She said.
Lorna took her hand and shook it "Lorna Finch-Fletchley. Nice to meet you Hannah."
Justin then introduced everybody else. "Sitting next to you is Jessica Neilson." He said. "Nice girl, but a bit strange. And sarcastic too."
"You can call me Jess." I said, kicking Justin under the table. I might not have known him but apparently he knew me, and he deserved it. Me sarcastic? The nerve.
"Right." Said Lorna. "Jess."
"Opposite you is Hannah, but you already know that. On Hannah's left, opposite Jess is Niki Harris."
"And she's totally and utterly normal." I added.
"Yeah right." Said Justin. "As normal as they come Niki."
"Ok." said Lorna. "So it's Jess, Hannah, Niki." She said pointing at us as she said our names.
"Right." Said Justin. "On the right of Jess is Ernie Macmillan."
"Who has a secret crush on Professor Trelawny." I put in.
"Which is not so secret anymore." Said Justin; while Ernie decided hitting me hard on the shoulder would be the best course of action.
"Don't listen to a word she says." He told Lorna. Lorna just laughed.
While all this was going on various other people were being sorted into Houses. The last person to be sorted was "Youdes, Karen" who was sorted into Slytherin. Niki again decided to embarrass herself by cheering loudly. So I did too. As did Lorna, earning herself an elbowing in the ribs from her cousin. I could have sworn I heard the rest of the Hufflepuff table groan in despair and I'm positive I also heard Hannah mutter "Not another one." But never mind that.
After the clapping had died down Dumbledore stood up at the staff table. "Welcome everyone." He said. "All I have to say is this: Let's eat!"
This caused a considerable amount of cheering. As the headmaster sat down the plates in front of us filled with food. I would, ordinarily have found this amazing but at the time I was too hungry. I just grabbed some roast potatoes and a cheese and onion pastie instead.
On the opposite side of the table Niki had Neville's toad out (which I'd forgotten she still had) and was trying to feed him mashed potatoes. "Niki." I heard Hannah say. "I don't think Trevor likes mash."
"He does too, it's his favourite. " Said Niki.
"Then why is he not eating it if he likes it so much?"
"Maybe it's too milky."
"Oh." Was Hannah's elaborate reply. As I've mentioned Niki has that effect on people.
Ernie was busy talking to a girl to sitting diagonally opposite him. I could hear snatches of their conversation, which seemed to be about O.W.L's. How interesting. Not.
Justin was telling Lorna about the teachers and what not. "Now our Head of House is Professor Sprout." He was saying.
"She teaches Herbology right?"
"Yes. Now if you ever need a hand in Herbology ask Ernie, he's pretty smart. Or Jess. Jess is fairly good at Herbology, aren't you Jess?" he said turning to me.
"Oh. Yeah." I said. "Sure." Me? Good at Herbology? This came as a bit of a shock. Me being good anything would have come as a bit of a shock mind you.
"Right. So who's that?" she asked Justin, pointing to the woman on Professor Sprout's right. She was young looking and had light brown hair, from what I could see she was laughing at something Professor Sprout had just told her
"Oh that's the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Don't have a clue what her name is though."
"She looks ok," said Lorna.
"She does. But never judge a book by its cover." He said trying to sound intelligent but failing miserably.
"True." I piped up. "For example, Niki there might look like someone completely normal," at this Justin snorted, I ignored him and carried on "but really she's adopted and is the secret lovechild of Captain Obvious and Little Miss Ditzy."
"Oh." Said Lorna. " Good to know."
"Yes." Said Justin. "Fascinating."
"Isn't it just?"
"Uh huh. So who's that?" Lorna asked pointing to someone else.
"That's Professor Snape."
"The Potions Master?"
"Yes."
"I have a feeling I'm not going to like him very much."
"You're not." Said Justin. "He's nasty piece of work."
"That's because he's secretly in love with Professor McGonagall but he knows he can never have her." Guess who said this? Me of course. I have a tendency to add logical comments into a conversation.
"Sure he is Jess." Said Justin.
"Actually that makes sense." Said Hannah, who had apparently despaired of trying to convince Niki toads didn't eat mash, joining in our conversation instead.
"It makes sense how?" asked Ernie who appeared to have been listening in as well.
"Well he hates all Gryffindors for a start." Hannah said.
"He's head of Slytherin, that's why he hates all Gryffindors Hannah."
"Ah, but he's never very civil with McGonagall is he?"
"Good Point." I commented.
"And that means he fancies her?" asked Ernie.
"Of course it does." Said Hannah. "He's being nasty to hide his true feelings because he fears rejection." She seemed to be having trouble keeping a straight face.
"You know Hannah, I'm beginning to worry about you." Said Justin. "You must be spending far too much time around Niki and Jess. You're beginning to think like them."
"And what's so bad about that?" I asked him.
"You just have a very mangled sense logic that's all."
Mangled? How insulting. My logics impeccable. "My logic is not mangled," I told him "it's perfect."
"Whatever you say Jess."
"Well I'm glad you agree with me."
I turned back to finishing my pastie. Mangled? What an outrage. I'd just finished eating when my plate cleared of crumbs and dessert arrived. "Look Jess, there's cheesecake!" said Niki.
"I don't like cheesecake Niki. Ernie can you pass me one of those caramel shortbread things?"
"Sure."
"Why don't you like cheesecake?" Niki asked.
"I just don't."
"But cheesecake's the best." Niki said sounding scandalised.
"You might think it is but I don't."
"But it is." Said Niki.
"She's right," piped up Lorna. "Cheesecake is the queen of all puddings."
"No it's not." Said Hannah. "Chocolate gateaux's better."
Niki gasped. "Treason!" she exclaimed. Niki using the word treason? Wow.
"What a terrible thing to say!" said Lorna.
"You'll hurt the cheesecake's feelings." Said Niki. "In fact I'm surprised you've not been arrested yet."
"By who?" I asked.
"The Pudding Patrol." Said Niki. She has some imagination Niki.
"The Pudding Patrol?" asked Ernie.
"Uh huh. They're the Queen' s personal Police Force. Aren't they Lorna?"
"Sure they are." Said Lorna. "I'm a personal friend of one of the sergeants don't you know. I have tea at his every Sunday."
This conversation was getting too weird for my liking, so I turned back to my shortbread and let them get on with it. If they wanted to talk about The Pudding Patrol then who was I to stop them? But I was going to keep out of it.
After finishing of my pudding and half-listening to Ernie and Hannah arguing over which was better, strawberry cheesecake or black forest gateaux, the plates in front of us cleared and Professor Dumbledore stood up.
"Can I have your attention please?" he called. Everybody hushed and he began to speak "As always, I've been asked to remind you the forest is out of bounds to all students. I've also been asked to remind you there should be no magic in the corridors between lessons or at any other time."
"Quidditch try-outs will most probably be held within the next two weeks, if you are a second year or above and are interested in joining your house team I would ask you to keep and eye out for a notice on your common room notice board."
"I would also like to introduce our newest member of staff Miss Jenna Kirkhall." At this he waved his hand in the Professor's direction and she gave a small nod and a smile. "She will be teaching Defence Against the Dark Arts this year, and I hope you will all make her feel most welcome. Now I'm sure you are all feeling quite worn out and would like to get to bed. So if no-one else has anything they want to say?" he looked around at the rest of the staff table. Then he turned back to us "Well, off you go then."
I'd just like to mention I'm surprised I remembered this entire speech. My memory can be worse than Niki's.
Everybody started to get up from the table. Lorna drifted over to where the rest of the ickle people were standing with the fifth year prefects. I followed Justin and Ernie out into the entrance hall. Niki and Hannah caught us up and we walked to the Hufflepuff common room together, making sure to pay attention. I didn't want to get lost. Niki didn't seem to be paying much attention, as she was busy talking to Trevor about fish. Only God knows what goes through her head and don't think He really wants to either.
When reached a portrait of a young looking blonde witch we stopped and Hannah said "Doxycide". The girl smiled and the portrait swung open.
"Why Doxycide?" asked Justin, as we stepped inside.
"Why not?" said Ernie.
Justin just shrugged. "Well I'm knackered." He said. "I think I'll go get sorted and go to bed." He disappeared through a door to the left.
"I'm exhausted as well." Said Hannah. "You coming?" she asked Niki and me.
"Yeah." I replied. "Good idea. Come on Niki."
We followed Hannah through another door and down a corridor. We stopped at the door at the end of the hallway and Hannah opened it. Inside were four double beds each with white drapes and a goldish yellow bedspread. I glanced around and saw my trunk at the end of the bed near the wall. I walked over and threw myself down on the bed.
"Tired?" asked Hannah.
"Very."
Niki didn't seem that tired; she was wandering around the room looking at everything with interest. She knelt down at the end of the bed across from mine and started rummaging around in her trunk. "Here we are." She said pulling out her yellow and black scarf. She then climbed up on the bed so she could reach the top of her wardrobe, rolled the scarf into a bundle and placed it on top.
"Niki what are you doing?" Hannah asked.
"Making a bed for Trevor."
"Oh."
"Strange child." I muttered.
"Am not! I'm totally normal." said Niki.
"You keep telling yourself that Niki."
"I will." Niki then took Trevor out of her pocket and put him on top of the wardrobe.
At this point a girl with long reddish hair wandered in. "Hi Hannah. Jess. Niki...what are you doing with that toad?"
"I'm adopting him. Neville is not fit to look after a toad."
"Oh. Well that makes sense."
"Of course it does she's Niki." I said
"No, I mean Neville's been looking for him. He's dead worried."
"Some memory Neville has." Said Hannah. "Niki's had him since the train."
"You'll have to give him back tomorrow Niki." I told her.
"No!" said Niki. "Never!" Well that didn't go down well.
"But Niki he's not your toad."
"So? I like him. And he likes me. I give him mashed potatoes."
"That's not the point."
"It is so the point."
I sighed. "Ok Niki. How about you keep him for now and we'll talk about it in the morning?"
"Ok." she agreed grudgingly. She patted Trevor on the head. "It's ok Trevor I'm sure my mum will lend me money for a good lawyer."
I shook my head at that. A custody battle over a toad? For some reason I think that's something only Niki would think of. And I could just tell tomorrow was going to be a whole lot of fun. Not.
***
Yay chapter 3! And now the thank yous:
Nikkifier: Thank you very much Nikki-kait. I know you don't like Harry Snotter much so I appreciate you reading it.
ViviBlack: Thanks again for the review. I'm glad you still like it and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter too.