Chapter Three: Complete Chaos

So take the photographs and still frames in your mind

Hang them on a shelf in good health and good time

Tattoos and memories and dead skin on trial

For what it's worth –

It was worth all the while

It's something unpredictable but in the end it's right,

I hope you had the time of your life

- Greenday, "Good Riddance"

Silence had fallen over the Wet Carpets grounds. It was absolute, save for the distant squalls of Keith's young griffins as they were fed. A mild heat haze drifted over the tundra's grasses, stirring up seeds and smoky dust, then whipping itself into a breeze as a wisp of cloud obscured the sunlight. It rustled down across the lawn, accelerating as it went.

The first of the owls dropped like a brick.

His tawny wings unfolded as he caught the draft of the breeze; it carried him up, into the gray sky, into the northern sunlight. Spotty pinion feathers fanned out with remarkable ease. Silently, he turned his wingspan on a slant, arching up into the clouds and dwindling from sight.

From the tower of the Owlery, another bird was tossed out ungracefully, plummeting towards the ground until he too managed to get his wings open. Hooting, in some indignation, he followed the ascent of the first.

Two more owls followed; then five; then ten, fifteen, twenty-odd birds were up in the sky, heading in different directions, drifting apart, until it was less of a mass migration and more of a disorientated flock.

Oyster stood at the tower window, folding his arms as he watched the owls disperse. He had sent off a round before – the six people who had applied before the Ministry hearing had all already received their letters (Tessa was among them). A self-satisfied smile flickered around his lips for an instant – his dull task of sending off acceptance letters was complete – before he turned. Something moved and vanished at the corner of his eye. His brow creased, and he held his post at the window a moment longer, squinting against the afternoon light.

One tiny, lopsided owl darted towards the castle.

Not away.

Towards.

With roughly the speed of a small cannon.

"What the devil...?"

Pigwidgeon zoomed happily in trough the window and crashed into Oyster's midriff, who stumbled and grabbed at the feathery bomb before he toppled.

"Stupid owls!" he gasped, with the last breath of air in his lungs before he hit the floor. A sharp beak nipped at his clenched fingers in the same instant, suggesting that he let go of it. Something about the abrupt pain reminded him of Janet's biting alarm clock; his eyes narrowed at the memory and he snatched at the owl much harder than he should have, causing it to squeak and dig a bloody furrow in his thumb.

The handwriting on the envelope was not Janet's, however. Sitting up in the owl droppings, he tore it open. No, Janet had a practiced, full hand with a quill, though she preferred to write with a ballpoint pen, saying that Muggles were a step ahead of wizards in that sense. This person had written in a spidery black ink, and a few words were smeared, indicating that it was not quite dry. The antagonist owl had not been a colleagues' practical joke, then.

The letter was brief and to the point.

"'Dear Heads of Wet Carpets,'" Oyster read aloud. "'I wish to attend your college in the fall with my best friends, Hermione Granger (a former Hogwarts Head Girl), and Harry Potter, whom you must know already. However, I have little money for tutoring, and less still for the staggered funds that a college student must pay. I hope that you have not given out your full scholarship yet, as it would help me considerably. Hermione convinced me to apply, and I really want to attend. Yours sincerely, Ronald Bilius Weasley. P.S.: I hope Pig delivers it promptly, he tends to get overexcited.'"

Climbing to his feet, slightly unsteadily, he reread the letter. Ronald Weasley... gracious God, wasn't that the son of Arthur Weasley? Yes, the one who had been involved with that Ministry scandal two years back, when Voldemort had returned.

"Pity," he said, staring down at the scrawling handwriting. Such a student would play the advantage for Wet Carpets... but they had already given away their full scholarship.

That wouldn't matter, if he acted fast.

Fetching two spare parchments and a school-supply list, Oyster wrote yet another acceptance letter (and the last, he swore to himself as he scribbled). He was writing so fast that he spotted the tattered paper with pink ink several times, but he hardly noticed it, being caught up in his own racing thoughts.

If Miss Granger had been the one to suggest it...

He scrawled his name in a big looping O and an illegible scribble following it, ending with a bright neon flourish.

When Pig ("Pig?") was hurled out of the Owlery window a few moments later, he plummeted almost all the way to the ground before managing to catch an updraft. He bore two letters; one was a standard reply to Ron's application.

The other was addressed to Hermione, suggesting that she relinquish her full Head Girl's scholarship to a certain Mr. Weasley if she wanted him to attend.

Oyster stayed at the window for another minute, watching the patterns of the clouds, and the Wet Carpets owls fly out of view. They seemed a little bemused by the bright sunlight, as they usually delivered their letters at night, for safety precautions -

Horror suddenly crossed his face.

"Oh, shit."

This is the thing about acceptance letters, in the magical world:

Most of the time, you receive them around July, when it is most convenient for the school's teachers.

And, most of the time, the school's teachers don't stop to wonder if July is the most convenient time for you.

Five of the owls veered away from the general flock, heading south- southwest, into the United States. They were moving with a definite purpose to their flight. Enhanced by magic, their velocity allowed them to surpass several planes, to the surprise and shock of their pilots; but the owls took no notice of them. In fact, they sped up, moving trough the atmosphere with roughly the speed of a flock of small feathered grenades.

They had a task to do, and until they arrived in Denver, CO, two hours later, nothing and nobody would divert them.

"All right, gang – smile!"

Kate bared her teeth at Tessa's camera. God, she hated pictures. Only Marie's firm grip around her shoulders kept her in front of the lens - otherwise, she would be running right about now. Not one of her friends could have kept her there without force. It was sad but true: the power of friendship dwindled in the face of Kodak's utter evilness. Even Frodo and Sam couldn't have managed it.

There was a blinding flash of light, and Kate ducked out from Marie's arm to scrub at her eyes. "Pain... pain pain pain..."

Tessa came over and looped her arm around her waist, grinning. "Kate, it's only a picture. Someone would think I'd torn your eyes out. Say cheese!" She pulled the other girl close and brought her camera up in the same moment, leaving Kate with more red spots across her vision.

"It feels about the same to my retinas," she hissed back, blinking to dispel the white light.

"What? It's Marie's day. We have to document."

Kate sighed, exasperated with the world at large, but couldn't think of a retort fast enough. Tessa had already wandered away. Mentally adding the camera to her list of Things To Burn (along with Marie's Scottish teddy bear), Kate turned and looked up at the pool slide, considering. It was an impressive slide, really.

She hadn't paid for a stamp, which would allow her to rent a slide inner tube... but that had never stopped their group before.

And it was such a hot day.

Someone came up behind her and draped an arm around her shoulders. Kate blinked, disorientated for a moment. "Let's go on up, shall we?" The girl sighed, recognizing Shea's voice and height, and turned to face her.

"I have no stamp," she said ruefully.

"So? Marie and Ginny" (unlike her friends, Shea insisted on calling Snoopy by her real name) "don't have stamps either, and they went up right after the photo. It's not like the guard ever checks." She suddenly shut up and eyed Kate dubiously for a moment. "Since when do you worry about the stamps?"

"If I agree to come, will you quit bugging me?"

"Oooh, someone's cranky." There was another pause as Shea evaluated her friend's expression. "It's Kodak, isn't it." It wasn't a question; they knew each other too well. The taller girl sighed. "The Satan of the overworld."

"Don't remind me," Kate grumbled. She scrubbed at her watering eyes again. "Tessa and that stupid camera."

"I don't even know where she got it. When I saw her in the locker rooms she only had her towel with her." Shea spotted two inner tubes lying abandoned by the slide's stair and passed one to Kate.

"Hey. It's Tessa. She manages to find the most unlikely stuff in her room alone – remember that purple bath duck? Stands to reason she could find a camera at a pool. Do you know, I think she actually likes taking those pictures."

"I can't understand her. The only thing more evil than cameras is artificial sugar."

"Let's burn them all."

Shea flashed her a supportive grin. "Don't forget Scotty the Scottish Bear." ((A/N: Don't ask.))

"Marie took him to Denmark with her, didn't she? Maybe she forgot it." Kate lifted her eyes in silent prayer.

"Fat chance." Shea sighed again. "She worships that teddy bear."

"We'll torch it someday, I promise."

"We'll feed it to her owl."

They had begun the slow walk up the slide's metal staircase. It was a magnificent slide, for a public pool; it had been built before the safety regulations had come into place, so the diving boards were still intact and the slide was two or three stories tall, with bends and spirals that curved so sharply you almost went over the edge. Kate looked up, and at the summit of the stair, she saw a flash of red: Marie's ginger hair.

Shea had noticed it too, and both girls picked up their pace, stepping from puddle to puddle. "Speaking of owls, have you got your letter yet?" Shea said in an undertone, as a crowd of boys moved past them.

"No." Kate sighed. "Me mum thinks it should come in the next week."

"Well, duh... July's almost over... if it doesn't come soon, I'll send another owl, just to make sure the post is still working." Sarcasm tinted the other's voice. "I heard about their hearing, you know... a total botch... Dumbledore swayed it for them. Five to four, but he just had to vote for them..."

"I'm not complaining," Kate said sharply. "They're his students, Shea."

"They're only four years older than we are," Shea protested. A scowl crossed her face. "If you ask me, they're too young to be good teachers."

For the second time in as many minutes, Kate found herself struggling for the right words to reply. Shea was only grouchy because the acceptance letters hadn't come yet; everyone was, save for Tessa, because in a stroke of genius that played the lie to her procrastinator self, she had applied directly after graduation.

Kate gave up after a moment. There was no good reply to Shea in one of her moods. Blessedly, she was spared further dialogue by a slender, freckled hand reaching out to grip her wrist.

"Hi guys!" Marie said cheerfully, helping them up the last few stairs. Kate fidgeted with her swimsuit strap even as she grinned in response. "We saw you and decided to wait."

"You decided to wait, you mean," Snoopy commented behind her.

"We were just talking about Troy," Marie continued, shooting an evil look over her shoulder. "I know it's a Muggle movie, but it's disgraceful that you lot haven't gone yet. Does it only play in Denmark, or something?"

"Orlando Bloom is Paris, that's why," Snoopy said coldly. "It's difficult to watch someone who's bi getting with the ladies, yanno?"

"He is not bisexual." Shea glowered. "I refuse to believe it."

"I heard he converted about four months ago," Kate put in.

"It's because Kole sent him so much fan mail, I bet," Snoopy whispered, and they all broke into sniggers. Kole was legendary in Denver. The slightly queer wizard had Frenched a picture of Orlando Bloom, straight out of a magazine, before an audience of thoroughly amused classmates; nobody had figured his orientation out yet, but they had a suspicion he was gay. It must have been the magazine.

Princes and pirates and elves, oh my!

"Besides, we're seventeen," Shea went on. "One more year and I'll have the tickets for us. It's just that you turned eighteen before we did."

Marie flashed them a smug grin and chose to say nothing.

"I think Tessa's seen it," Kate added. "We were going to sneak in sometime and stay for a few hours, but I don't know if she ever went through with it." Her fingers curled on the stair rail as she looked up into the sunlight.

"That's what we were going to do!" Snoopy hissed. "That traitor!"

"Did she say she'd sneak in a vat of popcorn and throw it at Sean Bean when he came onscreen?"

"Yes!"

"I know for a fact she hasn't done that yet," Marie intervened. "She swore to wait until I got back from Denmark."

"Maybe all four of us can go sometime, then," Kate suggested.

"Well I feel loved." Shea commented. She stuck out her tongue and, spontaneously, tripped on the last stair.

Snoopy saw it a second before it happened and backed away.

They were on narrow steps. There was nowhere to run.

Shea squealed as she slammed into Kate's stomach and fell backward, rolling, miraculously missing the painfully solid stair rails. Marie had the sense to let go of her hand before she was dragged down too, and she lunged for the edge of the step in horror, shouting something at the top of her lungs. But the collision was over in a split second. Somebody's inner tube went flying over the rail.

Snoopy bounced on her feet in terror as the two came to a halt. Shea was laughing insanely, legs flailing, as she tried to get to her feet and let Kate breathe.

"Omigod!" Marie danced in a circle, eyes wide and unblinking. Her hands fluttered like terrified wounded doves. "Are you okay!?"

"Fine," Kate said, or tried to say, but failed due to the lack of air in her lungs. Someone had taken her inner tube. There was something pointy under her... She lay flat on her back, attempting to breathe, staring up at the sky.

There was a flicker darting in and out of the clouds... Her eyes watered madly and when she blinked, the shapes had gone.

Something sharp was pressing into her arm.

Was that a feather?

She gasped and tried to sit up. Three supporting hands steadied her before Shea's voice cut into the shocked silence. "Ohmigod, Kate, I'm so sorry!" Someone was tugging her to her feet, apologetic, mortified.

Kate considered throwing her down the slide. She wavered, unsteady on her feet, and breathed hard for a couple of moments, trying to get her air back. "I'm fine," she replied after a moment, but nobody seemed to hear her. Shea was still talking.

"It's Ginny's fault, she willed me to fall..."

"I totally did," Snoopy agreed, cynical as always, and rolled her eyes once Shea's back was turned. Kate saw her suddenly stiffen.

"Snoopy?"

The girl had done a perfect double take. Her eyes had flicked upwards, then she went rigid and tilted her full head up to peer at the heavens. "Snoooopy?" Kate repeated, a little louder this time. Her breathing had steadied.

"Ginny?" Shea followed Kate's gaze and then blinked to see her friend staring fixedly at the sky. "Are you... okay?"

Snoopy's brows snapped together at the interruption, but she didn't say anything for another long moment. "Huh," she said finally, and broke her intense scrutiny. "That's weird."

"What's weird?" Kate was feeling edgy. It was the scare she had had, she decided after a moment. Backflipping down a slide staircase would psych anyone out. Or maybe PMS, since Shea was being kind of grouchy too. Or the weather: that sky was darkening rapidly, and Snoopy had wondered earlier if it would rain that evening. Her eyes flicked up to the wisps of cloud, judging the thunderheads –

She inhaled sharply, and almost tripped again.

"Did you see them too?" Snoopy lifted a quizzical eyebrow at her.

"It's daylight," Kate said after a moment. She sounded shocked even to herself. "Why would anyone send them out in daylight?"

"Send what?" Snoopy demanded. "I didn't get a good look at them-"

There was a barely-concealed urgency in her voice. Marie and Shea, who were clueless as to what was going on, caught the slight paranoia in her tone and were holding a whispered conversation at the top of the stairs.

Kate, staring upward, ignored them. "I don't know what I saw either – not exactly," she replied, talking to Snoopy without taking her eyes away from the sky. "It was weird. There were four or five of them, darting around – I don't know," she repeated, and finally looked back at her friends. "They looked almost like owls, but who sends owls out at this time of day? It's full daylight."

"Spooky," Marie commented. "Maybe they're errant Death Eaters playing Quidditch."

Her comment broke the tension. Shea collapsed against her inner tube, chuckling so hard that she almost knocked herself back down the stairs. The pool guard at the top of the slide was giving them odd looks by now.

"Are you going to slide or not?" he demanded.

"I'll go," Marie said instantly. "I think you guys are trying to mess with my head." She pressed past them. Kate scowled at her.

"We're not lying," Snoopy protested. "There's seriously something up there. I rolled my eyes because Shea was being stupid-"

"Ginny!" Shea glared at her. "Be nice."

"-and there was a thing flying around. Or something," Snoopy finished lamely. "I dunno."

The five of them – the four girls, and the pool guard – all briefly craned their necks, scanning the sky.

"Nah," Marie said eventually, and climbed into the slide, holding her inner tube like a massive doughnut around her waist. She continued to talk as she set it down and tried to get comfortable on top of it, a process which involved much wriggling, twisting, and flopping around. "I'm glad to see you all again, but you really don't have to make up a bunch of bull to keep me interested in the conversation. You're my sisters, practically; you don't have to s-" but she was cut off by the pool guard, who had given her tube a hearty nudge with his foot.

Kate glanced upward again, suddenly uncertain. Maybe she'd just imagined it. She was gullible, she did that all the time – or perhaps it was mass hallucination, or something along those lines – how would she know? She wasn't a psychiatrist. And she certainly didn't want to alienate Marie on her first day back by talking about a bunch of (of what?) things in the sky. If the redhead thought she was lying, maybe she should just let it go. It was Snoopy's fault really, going on about a "thing" she thought she'd seen "flying around" –

And then a thing dove out of the sky. A lot of things.

Kate screamed. A massive horned owl was plunging down out of the sky, straight for them. He was flanked by two tawny owls, a snowy owl, and a burrowing owl that veered away from the slide, heading out towards the diving boards. Snoopy almost looked pleased for a minute – "I told you so!" – before she realized that the snowy owl was going straight for her face, and leapt for the stairs.

The pool guard said something that Kate had never heard before, though it didn't sound very pleasant, and flung himself down the slide. One of the birds shot after him and perched on the very lip of the slide's end, extending a leg (was that a letter?) to someone that the girls couldn't see, though Kate assumed it was the guard.

But Marie had gone down first. She crashed into the water, clinging to her inner tube and screaming as the huge great horned owl besieged her, flying at her face, her unprotected arms and legs, trying to get her to take the parchment from its leg. The pool guard came out almost on top of her.

Shea had actually kept her wits. One of the tawny owls had landed on the stair rail next to her, and she took the letter with visible apprehension – the minute she saw the seal, however, she leaned over the railing and started shouting at everyone (mainly Marie, who was still screaming, and Snoopy, who was halfway down the stairs).

"It's our letters! Stop, you guys, don't freak out, it's our letters! Ginny! It's our letters!"

"It's our letters? Then why the hell didn't they wait till dark!?" Snoopy bellowed back, stopping mid-leap and turning to face the swarm of owls. "Wet Carpets is insane! This place is full of Muggles!"

Her statement was only too true. The other families at the pool were shrieking and running pell-mell towards the locker rooms, or else standing agape as the birds swooped and dove towards the Wet Carpets students. Five owls, in daytime? The animals had gone mad!

Bewildered, Kate took a letter from the nearest tawny owl and ripped it open. "'Dear Kate, newly graduated resident of Denver; We are pleased to inform you that-' omigod, it is our letters! Shea, what the hell were they thinking? It's the middle of the afternoon!"

Shea shrugged. "It's Marie's welcome home party, isn't it? We're all here together. Maybe they picked the most convenient time for the owls."

"Convenient? They'll all be arrested! There's five owls flying around a Muggle pool! And it's full daylight!"

Below them, Marie took her letter (with fingers that still trembled) from the affronted owl. She examined the seal, then slit the flap cautiously, in case something else came diving at her head – but there was nothing. Nothing but two sheets of paper.

"'Your application has been registered and accepted at Wet Carpets-'"

Shea tore hers open and read the bright pink handwriting softly to herself. "'Term starts on the Second of September-'"

"'-as the first will be occupied with travel, arrival, and the beginning- of-year-feast,'" Snoopy continued from the stairs.

At the diving boards, where Tessa soothing the burrowing owl, Kayla flipped open the last letter. Her eyes caught on a spot halfway down the parchment. "'-during which you will be Sorted,'" she read aloud, and looked up, thrilled. Her friend grinned broadly.

"Did we all get in?" Kayla bellowed in the direction of the slide.

In answer, Shea leaned over the railing, waving her letter wildly.

"Yes!"

"Oh, good," Tessa sighed, and began making her way towards the pool lobby. "That's a relief."

"Where are you going?" Kayla demanded, still tightly clutching her acceptance letter.

"It's full daylight," her companion called back, "and there's five owls flying around the Denver pool. Where do you think I'm going?"

Ellis, the woman at the pool desk, was having a rough day. First, at about one, there had been six unnerving cracks from the girl's locker rooms; each time she had gone in and nothing was there. Now there were six teenagers wandering around the pool celebrating a Welcome Back party, or some such nonsense, and she couldn't remember stamping them. Now five owls – five OWLS, of all things! – were zooming around, and two lifeguards had resigned, and eleven terrified people were at her desk demanding their money back, because how were they going to swim, or have a relaxing afternoon, with all these cracking noises and loud obnoxious girls and owls flying around freaking people out? Did the police know about this yet? Did the pool insurance cover owls?

A stocky brunette, wearing an outlandish Jamaican swimming suit, pushed her way to the front of the boisterous line. Ellis glared at her. "Can I help you?"

"Yeah. I need to use a phone, d'you have one?"

Ellis pointed at the telephone attached to the wall behind her. It was a pay phone, and the girl had no change, but she came around the desk anyway and reached for the receiver. The woman stopped her. "You have to put in quarters or something. You can't just call."

The girl smiled a secret smile. "This is a very special phone call."

"Oh, no," Ellis groaned and slumped against her desk. "You're calling the police."

"Nah," the girl said after a moment. "I'm not." And that funny twisted smile flickered across her lips again.

The other looked at her for a long moment, and suspicion abruptly gleamed in her brown eyes. "I didn't stamp you, did I?"

The girl fumbled for a reply, but the line of distraught swimmers in front of Ellis's desk surged forward again, distracting her with threats to sue and claims for refunds. The clerk sat back in her chair and buried her face in her hands, trying to shut out the noise. Just fifteen more minutes, and she would have been off her shift.

She lifted her head and looked around the lobby, searching for a haven, for one person who wasn't adding to her migraine. Usually the desk shift was calm and restful. Now...

Complete chaos.

Fucking owls.
Tessa breathed a quiet sigh of relief and plucked the phone from its cradle. "Two four two six four," she murmured as she dialed, and the receiver's buzzing suddenly stopped.

"Ministry?" a voice asked in her ear.

"Ministry of Magic," Tessa affirmed. "Denver, Colorado, US – major Muggle disaster. A quintet of owls delivered our college acceptance letters in broad daylight, and we need an Oblivion team." She watched a terrified family run for the parking lot. "And we need it ASAP, 'cos some of the Muggles are freaking out and leaving," she added.

"This wouldn't be Wet Carpets, this college, would it?" the voice demanded suspiciously.

"Uh, yeah..."

"Goddamnit! I keep telling the Minister, we can't keep giving them leases, their first year was a disaster! Fifty-seven Muggles saw that damn Quidditch game, not to mention the owl deliveries... it's Ireland all over again..."

"Sir?" Tessa asked tentatively. "Can you send an Oblivion team?"

"What? Oh, yes, we'll be there in fourteen seconds."

"Fourteen?" Tessa muffled a snicker. "So punctual."

But the voice was muttering to itself again, and the other line went dead.

Tessa set the receiver back in its cradle, looking smug, and cast an evaluating eye over the insanity in the pool lobby. Two young girls were having hysterics in the corner; Muggle men were shouting and threatening each other alternately; a terrified four-year-old was screaming about big scary birds, while his mother ranted about insurance.

Complete chaos.

She sighed to herself, utterly content.

What a perfect day.

Meep. Shorter chapter. Ethan, sorries this one took so long.

Readers, review while you're here, it takes five seconds and it makes my day

And now I will go and take a nap, being completely exhausted and somewhat disgusted with the lessened quality of this chapter, despite me editing it eight times.

Princes and pirates and elves, oh my! Hooray for the oddities of Kole!

-T