Disclaimer: Oh, no. Not again! Oh… we-do-not-own-Code-Lyoko-or-McDonald's. THERE, I SAID IT! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW!

CG: You are so stupid.

TAK: I know I am I'm workin' at it.

CG: HEY! That's my phrase!

TAK: #sticks out tounge#

CG: #growls and pounces on TAK, and that cliched cloud of 'fighting dust' comes up#

Cat: Sigh… well, this chapter is dedicated to BloodVampire! (The writer of What If)

BUT WAIT! More questions answered!

Will they EVER get to McDonald's? That's for me to know and you to obsess over. I'll just leave it at a "maybe" right now. #winkyface#

The Detective (a.k.a. The Arrest part two)

Odd sat on the ground, and Jeremie paced back in forth in front of him, with his hand up to his chin. Nicolas was window shopping on the street, jumping up and down like a giddy little girl when he saw a sparkly purple suit in a store called "THE STORE". In all capital letters, just like that. Herb was still on the ground with Sissi, and he kept trying to kiss her like she was sleeping beauty, but she kept waking up, slapping him, and falling unconscious again.

"Well, I'm stumped!" Odd announced, throwing his hands up in the air.

"IT'S NOT THAT HARD TO FIGURE OUT!" Jeremie shouted. "Besides, our wonderful employers just said it on the last line in the last chapter!"

"So? That doesn't prove anything!"

"Ugh!"

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Ulrich ran through the dark streets and alleyways, searching for Yumi.

"Yumi!" he called. "Yumi, come back! I'm sorry! We can play cards some more if you want! I've even got a box of—er… cards in my pocket!"

Bad Ulrich.

"SHUT UP! I'm in a desperate mood right now and I don't need your shit okay?"

Don't you speak to me that way, Young Man.

"YOUNG MAN! We're the same age!"

So? Who's the one with the keyboard here?

"Uh… you. So what?"

Well that means I can do whatever I want to you!

"Oh yeah!"

Yes. Watch. Ulrich shut his mouth and a zipper magically appeared and zipped itself.

"MMM!" Ulrich protested.

Haha. Behold my word processing power, puny actor, and tremble! TREMBLE! Ulrich frowned. The Author was feeling generous so the zipper disintegrated as suddenly as it had appeared.

"Thank you so very much, Mr. Nice Author Guy Who Pays My Salary!" Ulrich said through gritted teeth.

Uh-huh. That's what I thought. Now, scoot. He dashed off, to look for Yumi.

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Back to the "stumped" group. Aelita stood up.

"I believe I have a solution," she announced.

"What is it, Aelita?" asked Jeremie.

"LET'S ALL HAVE HAWT SEX!"

"OOH! I WANT…. I mean. HEY LOOK, A MONKEY!" Nicolas said nervously, and ran away. He merely trotted around the block, and came back with his hands in his pockets like nothing happened. Everybody face-faulted. (A/N: Okay, the nymphomaniac Aelita thing is getting old. I'm not using it anymore :P)

"Uh… not right now, Aelita. How about we hire our own private investigator? I saw an ad in the newspaper a week ago," Jeremie said.

"You read the newspaper? Wow, I just give that thing to Kiwi. What's in it?"

"Words. The universe is a big place, Odd, don't get lost. Anyways…"

"So, a private investigator, huh? Like, a private eye?" asked Aelita.

"Yes."

Sissi woke up.

"A private eye, huh?" she said, intrigued. Her eyes lit up. "IS HE HOT?"

"Actually, it's a girl…"

"Aw, man."

"YAY!" Odd said. "MAYBE I GET A LOVE INTEREST NOW EH!"

Everyone stared blankly at him. Aelita patted him on the shoulder.

"Aww, poor Odd want love too."

"HE HAS LOVE!" Samantha shouted, suddenly appearing with a big megaphone.

The gang soon arrives at an office with lettering on the door's window that read "B.V., Private Eye."

"B.V.? What does that stand for?" asked Aelita, turning to Jeremie.

"I don't know. It didn't say in the ad."

"Maybe it stands for 'Bitchy Veronica'! …NOT ANOTHER ONE!" Odd shouted, starting to get scared. Sissi, Aelita, Samantha, and Yumi who appeared out of nowhere glared at him.

"Heh, heh… heh…"

They all 'hmph'-ed and Yumi disappeared because Ulrich's not done looking for her yet. Jeremie shrugged and said there was only one way to find out. He opened the door….

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Yumi ran on faster, her foot occasionally splashing in a puddle of water on the black asphalt of the alleyways and streets.

Stupid Ulrich! she thought. Stupid Sissi! Stupid everybody! STUPID I THINK I NEED A BIGGER BOX TACO BELL DOG!

She turned a corner and ran into the person who was exactly who she didn't want to see. Yumi fell on her butt and sat there, with her hair falling over her face and sobbing.

"Yumi…" Ulrich started.

"SHUT YOUR MOUTH YOU LITTLE BASTARD!" she shouted, snapping her head up.

"I'm sorry… I… I don't know what came over me."

"Sure, whatever Ulrich. Do you expect that to make everything all better?"

"No. I just wanted to say that I never meant to hurt you, and Sissi's always trying to wriggle her way into my life, trying to get inbetween us. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I just wanted to say that… I…"

Suddenly, a big black van came rumbling down the street at way past the speed limit and slammed right into Ulrich.

"ULRICH!" Yumi cried, running towards Ulrich's oddly bent up body. A few lawyers in suits came out and presented a badge to the now crying Yumi.

"We're from the Antefilms Early Plot Event Prevention Division. According to the Contract, Article 9, Section 2, Sub-section 1…"

"Yeah, yeah, get on with it!"

"Right, sorry. Anyway, Ulrich was about to trigger a plot event before it was scheduled to happen on your… reality show."

"…How can there be scheduled events on a reality show?" Yumi asked, looking around nervously. "Besides, this is another gig. Isn't it a little outside your jurisdiction or whatever?"

"No. See, In the same sub-section, in Clause 211, Paragraph 6, the Contract explicitly states…"

"Okay. You own us. Whatever. Go away, I'm mourning here. Oh yeah, you'd better call an ambulance right now before I slap a lawsuit on your ass."

But, just as she was saying that, the lawyers piled into their van and drove off.

"COME BACK HERE! UGH!" She yelled after them.

"Yumi…" a weak voice said from on the ground. She knelt to Ulrich.

"What is it, Ulrich?" asked Yumi softly.

"I think my arm's broken."

"Oh my God! Really?"

"Yes… if I had some fries and a Coke I might feel better…"

"You're just hungry and you have a sprain, don't be stupid," Yumi said, rolling her eyes and smiling to herself on the inside. She helped Ulrich up from the ground. Maybe the police won't notice the blood everywhere. Oh well. Ulrich grinned.

"So does this mean you love me now?"

"DO YOU WANT TO GET RUN OVER BY THE CRAZY LAWYERS AGAIN?"

"Damn contract."

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Jeremie opened the door. Inside, the world was suddenly changed into one of those black-and-white whodunit film looks. There were a chair and a desk, with some grew smoke blowing from the front of it, since the chair had its back to them.

BV's POV:

I was in my office, when they showed up. I couldn't see them, but I could tell from the script that they were in desperate need of my help. I had some random gun in my desk drawer somewhere and blah, blah, blah, detective-ey stuff. I—

Odd walked up and jumped onto the desk. He inhaled deeply, and then, let out an earth-rumbling, glass-shattering screech that made howler monkeys look like cows with laryngitis.

"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM!" The chair spun around revealing a girl with short black hair somewhat like Yumi's, jeans, and an open brown detective overcoat that showed a red shirt. "ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME!"

Jeremie pushed Odd aside and sweatdropped.

"Don't mind him, he's just an idiot. Anyway, we need your help. Wait… were you smoking?"

"Heckz no! It's one of those fake bubble gum cigarettes that you can get from the ice cream truck. Anyway, what's your story? Oh, by the way, I require 2 quarts an hour, plus expenses."

"Well, you see, there's this place called Lyoko—" Odd began. Aelita smacked him with a huge mallet.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT SHE MEANT!"

"…Quarts?" asked Sissi with a confused look on her face.

"Of blood, of course. B.V. stands for Blood Vampire!" The room darkens and lightning storms erupt in the background as she laughs almost as maniacally as XANA but she's not a paid professional evil person, so it wasn't as good. The CL gang takes a step back. (A/N: YAY! I GET TO USE THE STEP BACK THING! I FEEL SO HONORED! sniff)

"Haha, I was just kidding. It's 10 bucks an hour. But, seriously, my name's Blood Vampire. Call me BV, for… security reasons." BV looked around suspiciously.

"Okay, here's what happened…" Jeremie started.

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TAK: THE END!

CG: Of the story?

TAK: No, the two-parter!

CG: But…. that didn't solve anything. You sprained Ulrich's arm and they meet an insane girl with vampirism issues.

TAK: HEY! DON'T TALK ABOUT HER LIKE THAT!

CG: I was just kidding…

TAK: Yeah. Okay. Anyway, it was the end of the two-parter. Now, it's a THREE OR MORE UNTIL WE FEEL LIKE WE'RE DONE WITH THE PARTER-PARTER! Bwahahahahaahahhaaaa!

Cat: You really are an idiot.

TAK: LEAVE ME ALONE! #sobs#

#Edit A/N#

TAK: Sooo sorry! It's been too crazy to get this chapter up since my computer broke and I needed the file... I hope u guys still remember this story and who BV is!