By: Saiyan Serpent
Disclaimer: I don't own db, dbz, dbgt or any of their characters, so please don't sue me.
Last Time:
A sudden jolt brought him out of his trance as the sound of metal creaking filled his ears. He jumped back from the edge of the balcony and stared in shock. He had gripped the railing too hard causing the entire thing to buckle under the intense pressure. Breaking free of its restraints, the railing fell in a massive heap to the ground below.
"Shit," he thought "Mom's gonna kill me." He let out a small sigh as he turned and walked back through the doors to his bedroom. The day had not yet begun and things already looked utterly depressing.
Chapter Two: Memories
He padded softly across the floor to his bed. Flopping down on the soft mattress, he glanced at the clock beside his bed. He groaned out loud. It was only one in the morning, and he still had four hours before his day would officially start.
He was still half expecting his mother to come barreling through the door at any moment screaming for an explanation about the new lawn ornament. But she never came.
Trunks sighed to himself. She had probably stayed up half the night to work on some insane new invention of hers and passed out on her desk. He hated it when she did that.
She worked in that lab of hers endlessly to pass the time. He knew it was her way of dealing with everything. Though he worried about her, Trunks figured it was better than her moping around the house like a zombie. After all, she had lost the same things he held so close to his own heart.
He had seen her in that troubling state several times as a child, and it worried him to no end. It hurt him to see her that way, but he tried his best to comfort her. She usually ended up comforting him instead, soothing his troubled soul.
Many nights of his childhood were spent crying himself to sleep in her loving embrace. All the terrible thoughts that chased him down would drift away into nothingness. He would fall into a peaceful sleep only to awaken in panic. She would stroke his hair gently whispering to him that everything was okay now. When he realized he had only been dreaming, he would settle back in her arms wishing she could make the pain disappear forever.
She always told him that he was the sole source of joy left in her life. Her words were as warm and reassuring as her love. He loved her as much as a son can love a mother, though he didn't show it as much as he would have liked.
She was all he had left in the world. Though he hated to admit it, Trunks needed her. He didn't want to need her. It wasn't that he didn't love his mother. No, that was not it at all.
The reason he didn't want to need her was because he feared losing her. Trunks had lost so much in his life that he didn't want to need anything if it meant losing it.
Loss. Why did it have to hurt so much?
That was a question he had asked himself for countless years. Loss seemed to be the only thing he experienced in his life.
He lost his father before he ever got the chance to know him, and his mother wasn't very forthcoming with information either. Trunks tried not to bother her too much with his questions, for he could see how much it upset her to think of the past. He didn't mean to pry he just wanted to know what his father was like.
Gohan had tried to offer his knowledge on the subject once, but it wasn't much different from what his mother had told him. Gohan had said that his father, Vegeta, was a strong warrior with an ego the size of a solar system. Talking about Vegeta didn't seem to bother Gohan as much as it bothered his mother. Trunks was thankful for that.
Gohan had lost his own father when he was a child. He could relate to Trunks' dilemma, though Gohan had known his own father. He had memories to remind him of the kind and gentle warrior. That, unfortunately was something Trunks did not have. Though he never said it out loud, Trunks envied Gohan in that respect. It wasn't just the memories Trunks envied it was more than that.
Gohan's father was practically a saint. He was the best father a kid could ask for. Trunks wasn't ashamed of his father, he had no reason to be. He did, however, envy the father Gohan had been blessed with.
Trunks sometimes wondered what his life would have been like if Goku was his father. Would he feel different? Would he look at the world in the same way? Would his life be better? Those were only more questions he knew would never be answered. It didn't really bother him though; he had come to accept his life however depressing it may be.
No one actually said that his father was a bad man, but Trunks could always sense the tension around the subject. Select details were carefully left out when describing Vegeta. It's as if mentioning those details would shatter any sentimental notions Trunks had of his father.
Trunks knew of his royal heritage and his father's home planet. It wasn't much, but it was something. Something was better than nothing right?
Trunks believed his father would always be a mystery to him, forever lost in the sands of time, but he was wrong. He had met his father briefly in the past, what is now an alternate version of his own time.
His father was indeed a strong man who wore his pride on his sleeve for the entire world to see. It was also his biggest flaw, his weakness even.
Well, maybe it wasn't his pride, but the ego born of that pride was surely his greatest enemy. It proved time after time his biggest weakness, but Trunks could not imagine his father any other way.
No, his father was a prince, a prince that deemed the world unworthy of his presence. He was raised that way from birth, and through a life of enslavement, he hardened into a merciless warrior.
He carried many of the same scars that Trunks himself bore though his ran deeper. Trunks had something his father never had. He had a mother to kiss away the pain and fight back the demons. But some demons were meant for him to fight alone.
Alone.
It was the root of loneliness. To be alone with the pain of loss was not a fate Trunks would wish on anyone. It was something his father must have felt to the bitter end. But in the alternate timeline, his father had been given another chance, a chance at life.
Trunks smiled at the thought. His father had given him life and he had returned the favor in the only way he could. Trunks longed to have his father back. If only he could turn back time. No wait. He had already done that.
What was a son to do with a father like Vegeta? Surely the Saiyan Prince would not have submitted to the human emotions he claimed Goku suffered from. No, Trunks had never expected that from his father. You can't take away a lifetime of pain and simply replace it with happy thoughts.
It wasn't that Trunks thought his father was incapable of love. Surely he was living proof that Vegeta had a heart like everyone else.
There was one thing Trunks valued more than memories of his father. It was something he searched for all his life; something only his father could give him.
Respect it what he longed for. It was something he had earned with his little trip through time. Not just any respect, but his father's respect; the great Saiyan Prince himself.
Trunks had fought an uphill battle when it came to earning his father's approval. It took Vegeta a long time before he would even acknowledge Trunks as his son. He didn't give up though.
Trunks was shocked when he realized his father had finally accepted him not only as a son, but also as a warrior. It was more than he had ever dreamed possible.
Trunks mouth curved upwards in a smile at the thought.
Though he had not known Vegeta in his own time, Trunks had always worked for his approval. In a way, Trunks struggled for it through his mentor and friend Gohan.
Going to the past and seeing his friend at such a young age brought shame to his heart. Trunks struggled to put his feelings aside while visiting the past, for they proved to be a dangerous distraction.
He was there to help his friends and family, not make amends for some sin he could not bear to carry.
It had been a while since his visit to the past. In fact, the last time he had seen anyone of that time had been at the Cell Games.
He shuddered at the thought. That was a battle that had almost been lost. If it wasn't for Gohan, history would have surely repeated itself.
Trunks had gone back to prevent that very thing, the horror that was his life. He failed though, like countless times before. He was powerless to stop the monster known as Cell, and it made him feel as helpless as a small child.
Trunks laughed at the thought. Child. That was exactly what had defeated Cell in the end, though it was no ordinary child. He was a child born to a brave warrior, one who had sacrificed himself to save others.
The child was Gohan, son of Goku. Trunks had marveled in awe of the young boy's power. Gohan had not shown the same strength in his own timeline. If he had, maybe things would be different. But things weren't different and they would never change.
Trunks could only hope that his role in altering the timeline had been for the better. It was the only thing he had done to atone for his crime. Crime. That's what it was to break a promise of such importance. How could anyone see it any other way? Trunks couldn't, he wouldn't.
Trunks had wanted to visit the past at times to see how everyone was doing. He often wondered if Gohan had met Videl in that time and made a family as he did in this timeline.
Those notions, however, turned sour as he thought of what it would be like to see Gohan with his family again. It would be another painful reminder of his failure. Trunks wasn't sure if he could bear the sight. So instead of returning to the past, he would withdraw to his own personal hell.
The other timeline had changed and somehow Trunks didn't feel right there. It felt wrong. He refused to dishonor his friend further by running from his promise, his duty. It was childish to think he could escape that.
It didn't matter where he ran; his sins would follow him like a shadow follows its master. The only way he would ever feel at peace with himself was when he fulfilled his destiny and kept his promise. Until then, he would carry on with the mundane tasks of life, forcing himself to live.
Live. That's something he didn't want to do at times. What's the point of living when you have lost so much and failed yourself at every turn? But then he remembered his friend. Gohan would never have given up, so neither would he. Trunks would keep his promise even if it killed him.
A/N
About the promise Trunks supposedly broke: When Gohan was dying, he made Trunks promise to take care of his family. Trunks broke the promise or rather failed to keep it because he never found Gohan's family. Since he couldn't find them, he couldn't take care of them. Hope that helps.