Title: So You Want to be a Chef

Chapter 2: The Levels and Curiosity

AN: I was glomped! -cries tears of joy- I never thought I would be so loved!

Is it worth the waiting for?
If we live 'til eighty four
All we ever get is gru...el!
Ev'ry day we say our prayer --
Will they change the bill of fare?
Still we get the same old gru...el!
There is not a cust, not a crumb can we find,
Can we beg, can we borrow, or cadge,
But there's nothing to stop us from getting a thrill
When we all close our eyes and imag...ine

Food, glorious food!
Hot sausage and mustard!
While we're in the mood --
Cold jelly and custard!
Pease pudding and saveloys!
What next is the question?
Rich gentlemen have it, boys --
In-di-gestion!

Food, glorious food!
We're anxious to try it.
Three banquets a day --
Our favourite diet!

Just picture a great big steak --
Fried, roasted or stewed.
Oh, food,
Wonderful food,
Marvellous food,
Glorous food.

Food, glorious food!
What is ther emore handsome?
Gulped, swallowed or chewed --
Still worth a kin's ransom.
What is it we dream about?
Wat brings on a sigh?
Piled pieahes and cream , aboutSix feet high!

Food, glorious food!
Eat right through the menu.
Just loosen your belt
Two inches and then you
Work up a new appetite.
In this interlude --
The food,
Once again, food
Fabulous food,
Glorious food.

Food, glorious food!
Don't care what it looks like --
Burned!
Underdone!
Crude!
Don't care what the cook's like.
Just thinking of growing fat --
Our senses go reeling
One moment of knowing that
Full-up feeling!

Food, glorious food!
What wouldn't we give for
That extra bit more --
That's all that we live for
Why should we be fated to
Do nothing but brood
On food,
Magical food,
Wonderful food,
Marvellous food,
Fabulous food...

- Oliver!

There are five levels of work at the Dolphin. They normally go in this order-

1. Busboys- These dudes got the dirty jobs- pick up the nasty, used dishes, clean the tables, re-set them. Pretty basic and dull, not to mention gross at times. But someone's got to do it, and they do it perfectly! Examples: Kiba, Lee. They're totally not fit for customer eyes. (Lee's always wanted to be a waiter, but he scares the kids...and the adults.)

2. Waiter/Waitress and Host/ess- They do the most well known job. Smile, seat the customers, smile, take an order of drinks, come back, smile, get food order, leave, come back, smile- well, you get it. Pretty, graceful, and charming, they helped make the Dolphin famous. We don't have one clumsy server! (Other than that little incident that included a certain blonde and a banana peel, but let's just forget about that for now.) Examples: Ino, Kakashi, Haku, Tenten.

3. Assistants- We call them the Assists for short, because that's mainly what they do in the kitchen. They're the lowest level of chefdom. They do mostly the grunt work, like take out the trash or take out the ingredients for something or clean dishes (you'd never believe how fast dirty dishes pile up), and if they're really lucky they get to help make a meal. Examples: Inari and this

4. Cooks- They're in the middle of the food chain (HA! Food chain! Get it?) They make the regular meals, desserts, etc. It doesn't sound like the funnest job (yeah, yeah, I know, funnest ain't a word, but I don't care what Iruka says. I dropped out of high school for a reason.), but this is the Dolphin we're talking about, and at the Dolphin nothing is easy to make. Even the sandwiches and pizza and soup is somehow gourmet. And not gourmet like at those real fancy restaurants where the dessert is one tiny little scoop and chocolate is drizzled all over the plate where you can't lick it off, but gourmet as in, "it-looks-nice-and-it's-big-enough-to-actually-feed-me,-not-to-mention-tastes-terrific" gourmet. Examples: Shikamaru, Chouji, Shino, and Me.

5. Chefs- Bow to them. They are the almighty rulers of all. Hardly anyone can look them in the eye, they can be so scary and dominating (maybe that's why Haku has this huge crush on Zabuza...ew. Mental pictures. Note to self- Forget I ever said that). They supervise everything and make all the important dishes. Examples: Zabuza, Kurenai, and Gai

Now me...I'm a special cook. I've been everything on that list- even a chef (Kurenai was sick, and Zabuza had an...um...appointment, so I had to cover until Gai could arrive.) So when my shift started, I wasn't very surprised when I was told I had to make Table 25's order.

I was tempted to spit in the spaghetti, but Inari caught me (he wanted to get back at me for earlier).

I was going to put rotten fish in their sushi, but Iruka would have gotten in trouble.

I almost succeeded in putting loads of pepper in their drinks, but Kurenai stopped me.

It's not like they would have noticed anyway, right?

Normal POV

All in all, it actually turned out to be a good shift. By the time Naruto looked at the clock again, it was eight. The kitchen still had people in it, but it was just the Assists and Busboys cleaning up.

"Naruto, we will take it from here!" cried a triumphant Lee, whose mere smile could bleach the dishes. "You should go home and rest, before your other job!"

"Who said you could tell other people to go home!" Kiba complained as he brought in more dishes. "Only the Assists, cooks, and us have to stay to clean up; but we only have one assists, and Shino, who's gonna leave soon! STOP GETTING RID OF OUR HELP!"

"Better start heading home," the blonde mused. "Kiba's about to blow a fuse..." He began to take small steps towards the swinging door when-

BAM

Ino pushed the door right into his face, knocking him down. "Naruto!" she yelled "Oh, I didn't see you there. Sorry. Are you alright?" Without waiting for an answer, she continued blithely, "Kakashi said a table wanted to compliment you on the food."

"Yeah? Really!" Naruto began to jump up and down (after checking that his nose was not broken). "Was it Hokage-sama?"

"No, Table...um...oh yeah! Table 25. You better hurry up- they're about to leave."

"..."

"Naruto?"

"...I don't wanna go out there."

"Why not? You love it when they compliment you! Last time you bragged for a month until you nearly set a fire in the kitchen!"

"...they're gonna eat me."

"...what?"

"They're cannibals!"

"They are not cannibals! Go out there, pleeeeeease?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't! But Sasuke-san-"

"...Sasuke-san?"

"Uh...heh heh..."

"YOU WANT ME TO GET A GUY'S PHONE NUMBER FOR YOU AGAIN, DON'T YOU?"

"If you get it I'll give you a week's worth of ramen!"

"IS MY LIFE THAT MEANINGLESS TO YOU! I COULD BE EATEN FOR ONE WEEK OF RAMEN?"

"..."

"...at least two months."

"Done."

Sasuke folded his hands and rested his chin on them. Other than the strange blonde waiter earlier, the dinner was just as he had suspected it would be- dull, tedious, and altogether a waste of his time. The food, however, was superb. His sushi was delicious, and he could have sworn Gaara had said "Hn." after taking only one bite of his spaghetti.

Taking another sip of his wine, Itachi lifted his spare hand casually in the air. Kakashi appeared almost out of nowhere and bowed his head. "Yes, Uchiha-san?"

"The food was exceedingly well made tonight, Kakashi. Would you summon the chef so that I may compliment on his work?"

Kakashi's one eye curved in a smile that, if you could see his mouth, Sasuke could almost call mischievous. "Of course, Uchiha-san."

Minutes passed in which everyone at the table pretended that Itachi had not made the request to their waiter, when they heard a young, polite, and slightly-familiar voice say, "Kakashi-san said that you requested my presence?"

"Yes, I did," said Itachi without even looking up. "The dinner tonight was quite-" his voice stopped as he looked up at the golden-haired boy that he had thought to be a waiter.

"Was it not up to your expectations?" The blue-eyed boy ('Naruto,' Sasuke reminded himself) asked Itachi, his eyes worried.

"No, not in the least," Orochimaru said smoothly, covering up for the slightly shocked Itachi. "But where is the chef, boy?"

"We didn't ask for a second-hand waiter," snapped his assistant while pushing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

Naruto's eyebrow twitched visibly. "I am the chef, sir," he told Kabuto, slightly irritated. "Was the meal up to your expectations?" He repeated the question, 'Just in case you big-shots are to busy trying to get those sticks out of your asses instead of listening to me.'

"How long have you been cooking, boy?" demanded Kazekage. "I find it hard to believe that they would let a mere boy cook for us!"

'Well, I'm so terribly sorry, Your Great Pompous Ass-Wipe-y-ness, sir,' Naruto thought sarcastically, before saying through clenched teeth. "I've been cooking my whole life sir. When one grow up alone, one must learn how to feed one's self." He stood a little taller, trying to make up for his less-than-adequate height. "And I'm not a mere boy, pardon my saying so, sir."

"Have you worked any other place than in this establishment?"

Naruto's pride shrunk a little. "Er, no, sir. The other places wouldn't hire me."

"And why not?"

At this, the blonde snapped back up to his height and glared at the man. "That, sir, is none of your business."

Itachi smile dryly. "Touché, Naruto. Why the sudden attitude towards your customers?" He noticed with satisfaction that the teenager stiffened when he said "customers".

"I...don't appreciate others in my business, sir," Naruto said, carefully and slowly. "I meant no disrespect." 'Smooth one, idiot. Bad-mouth these bastards, and Iruka-san might find himself out of business!' "Thank you for your compliments, sirs- I'll be sure to tell my employer. He'll be pleased to find that you enjoyed your meal. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be leaving." Naruto bowed gracefully before turning and leaving, without allowing the men to say anything else.

"Hm. Quite the attitude, that one," mused Kazekage.

"And I feel that there is even more suppressed underneath it," Itachi added, an amused look on his face. "I simply must come here to eat more often."

"They liked the food and almost killed me, not to mention me almost killing them those over-bearing assholes but I was nice gotta run see you later Iruka bye!" Saying all of that in one breath, Naruto swept past Iruka (his backpack in tow) and shot out the door.

Iruka just scratched his head in amazement. "Really, that one.."

"SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE BASTARD'S PHONE NUMBEEEEEEEEER!"

"...why did he want to get someone's phone numbe-"

"Hello Iruka-chan!" Kakashi said cheerfully, wrapping his arms around the brown-haired owner's neck. "How was business tonight? Did we make a bundle?"

"GYA!" With a flourish, Iruka threw Kakashi off, breathing heavily. "What is wrong with you!" Iruka yelled furiously, and blushing just as badly. "And I'm not Iruka-chan! It's Umino-san to you!"

"Aw, but Naruto-kun gets to call you Iruka-nii-san!"

"You're not Naruto!"

"Well, fine then, state the obvious."

Taking deep breaths, Iruka glared at Kakashi. "What are you doing here?" he snapped, trying in vain to rid himself of his blush.

"I wanted to take you home." Noticing how his boss froze and his blush increased, Kakashi smirked, leaned forward, and tapped Iruka on the nose. "My my, thinking dirty thoughts, Iruka-chan? I meant that I'll be happy to drive you back to your apartment, since your car is in the shop."

Iruka glared suspiciously at his silver-haired companion. "And how can I trust you not to make any moves on me?"

"Me? Hit on you? Dear Iruka-chan, you must be dreaming. I would never attempt such a violation of your personal space."

"...I'm going to ignore both my own intuition and that tell-tale glint in your eye and accept. BUT ONLY BECAUSE MY CAR IS IN THE SHOP!"

"Of course, Iruka-chan."

"And stop calling me that."

"Okay!"

"..."

"-smile-"

"...will you ever take that terrifying mask off?"

"You think it's terrifying? I prefer that it's called, 'roughishly-mysterious'. Oh, and I only take it off when I-"

"Never mind! I don't think I want to know."

"Good call, Iruka-kun!"

'-sigh- It's gonna be a loooooong night...'

Oh, if only Iruka knew how prophetic those words were to be...