That night, Joey had kissed Janine for the first time and rushed over to tell everyone about it. They were very happy for him, and after Joey left and took the birds with him, they all sat around talking about love and how the holidays brought people together. That put everyone in a good mood, even Monica, and after the gang left she apologized to him.

"I'm sorry about before, Chandler. I shouldn't have yelled like that."

He smiled and kissed her with complete forgiveness. "That's okay, honey. You were upset because you still thought we had opened your Christmas presents for us already." Thankfully, Rachel and Phoebe had helped him explain everything.

Monica nodded and hugged him. "Yeah, it was so sweet of you, to convince them to put my presents back. None of my surprises got ruined."

"Except for the water purifier."

"Oh, yeah!" She laughed, but when she noticed his annoyed pout, she asked him, "Are you really sure you don't want a water purifier, Chandler?"

"Not for Christmas," he answered. "Couldn't I have something more romantic? I have to buy all new presents for Phoebe and Rachel, you know."

"Well... I guess I can get you something else, but I was just really looking forward to us having a water purifier. I mean, it's something that we could both use, you know, and it's healthy, and it's clean, and it says that we're gonna be together a while, long enough for the purifier to save us money on buying bottled water, and--"

Chandler cut her off and took the hint. She had gone all squeaky-voiced again, and he knew there was no way to talk her out of it. So he sighed and offered, "Well, how about I take that water purifier and I give it to you for Christmas?"

"Really!" She looked excited, but then frowned. "But it will ruin the surprise."

"No it won't," he replied, "because I'm already getting you another gift too, and you have no idea what that is."

"That's right!" She hugged him happily and then ran to get the water purifier from among the hidden presents. She handed the box to Chandler. "And here's the receipt so you can return it, then buy it back for me."

"I have to return it? Why can't I just wrap it the way it is now?"

"Because then it won't really be from you. Oh, and you have to give me back the money that I paid for it, so that I can have enough cash to buy you a romantic present. Then you can buy this back for me!"

This seemed like an awful lot of trouble to go through, and it vaguely reminded Chandler of all the years in college that Ross would nag him into chipping in for the filters for his air purifier, even though Chandler couldn't stand the noise it made. Still, Monica was his girlfriend, not just his roommate, and he should pick his battles.

So Chandler gave in again. "All right. Um, let me go put this with the other presents that I have to return tomorrow."

"Thank you!"

When they retired to bed that night, Chandler smiled and looked on the bright side; at least he would be assured that one of his presents would definitely please Monica this Christmas. He didn't want to disappoint her at all.

Monica cuddled with him and said, "I'm so glad we worked everything out."

"Yep." He kissed her. "Oh, hey, if Joey's with Janine now, that means we can start double dating with them."

"That's right! Oh, it'll be so much fun. We can hang out as couples, and go dancing and to the movies and go antique shopping and make potpourri..."

Chandler found most of these activities uninteresting, but again, he should pick his battles. So he stayed quiet. Besides, Joey would probably help him object to the girly stuff, right? But maybe not; after all, Joey had been happy to knit potholders and arrange flowers with Janine, and he did try to hide all her cutesy girly stuff in his bedroom.

For such a macho guy, Joey really seemed to get attached to feminine stuff on occasion, such as the unisex purse that Rachel had given him last year. Chandler wondered why Joey didn't feel more insecure about it, but maybe he just never had to deal with everyone thinking that he had a gay quality.

Well, even if they did wind up doing girly things on their double dates, Chandler decided that he would just be glad to spend more time with Joey. Sure, they still saw each other every day, but lately they didn't have much quality time to bond, because Monica always wanted to do something as a couple. Chandler didn't mind spending some time with her, but Joey was his best friend, and he didn't want them to drift apart just because they weren't roommates anymore; he could still remember how lonely and miserable he had been during that time when Joey moved out and they became "just friends" for weeks. Besides Joey, Chandler missed the chick and the duck, and foosball, and Baywatch. He had thought it would be so great moving to this apartment, since he had lived here during the apartment switching, but he realized now that living with Joey here was a lot different than living with Monica here.

For one thing, he didn't have a lot of his stuff around. Monica had grudgingly let Chandler bring his barcalounger over, but not much else, and she wouldn't budge on the issue of the guest room. She even relegated the white dog statue to the balcony outside and made Chandler organize his CDs within her freaky filing system. So Joey kept all the furniture, the foosball table, the Playstation, the porn, and the birds; it felt almost as if Chandler had been through a divorce and lost everything except visitation rights.

Chandler knew that he shouldn't be surprised, since Monica didn't like Rachel's attempts to change the decor either, but at least she had her own room that she could do with as she liked. He just wanted to have more than just his clothes and CDs and his barcalounger; just something to make him feel at home here, instead of just a guest.

What Chandler could never understand was how Monica would tell him that he should be a grownup now and stop wanting silly stuff like a game room, but she still made him feel like a child with her rigid rules and her constant reminders to not get crumbs anywhere. Who did she think he was, Joey? Chandler tried to be patient and hope that she would eventually relax, once she got used to having him here, but it was hard not knowing how long that would take.

With a sigh, Chandler rolled over to get some sleep. He would just have to keep humoring her for now.

Of course, the double dating went very badly, and Joey broke up with Janine. Even though he didn't like Janine anymore, Chandler felt bad for Joey and was disappointed that they wouldn't be two couples anymore.

One night as he and Joey were hanging out together, Chandler got an idea. "Um, hey," he said to Joey. "You like Phoebe, right? How about you guys try dating?"

"Nah, I already asked her about that earlier. She said it's not time for us to get together yet. A bunch of other stuff happens and then we get married."

"Married? Whoa! She's moving a little fast, don't you think?"

Joey shrugged. "It's some kind of psychic vision she had of the future. But you know, now I'm not sure if she might have made a mistake or not. I mean, her psychic did say one of the triplets would be black and that Phoebe was gonna die."

"Oh, right!" Chandler laughed a little. "Yeah, well, horoscopes don't always come true either."

"Yep. Hey, at least I got this cool book to read." Joey reached over and pulled out the Playboy magazine that Ross had given him.

Chandler laughed and rolled his eyes. "That's a book?"

Joey grinned and nodded. "Well, apparently you and Ross think so, 'cause you can't get enough of this joke." He mock gasped, "Oh wait! What's this? There's naked ladies in here!" He opened to the centerfold and shoved it into Chandler's face.

Chandler pushed it off his face and handed it back with a smile. Joey started turning the pages and showing Chandler the best parts of the magazine, but Chandler only shook his head and warned him, "Nah, I can't let Monica catch me looking at it. She'll be home soon."

"Oh. Okay, well, I'll come sneak it over to you later."

Chandler laughed and hugged him, before getting up to leave. Good old Joe.

Unfortunately, that Playboy led to an embarrassing slip-up later. While browsing the magazine, Monica, Rachel, and Phoebe got into an argument over who they would hypothetically date. After the girls finally resolved their dispute, Rachel turned the question on the guys, and Chandler answered promptly that he would date Joey.

Only too late did he realize that neither Ross nor Joey had answered the hypothetical question, and everyone stared at Chandler for saying something so gay. Blushing hotly, Chandler unconvincingly pretended that it was just a joke, and then he ran to hide in his bedroom, intending to not come out until everyone stopped teasing him.

Why did he have to say that? Why? He just couldn't help it somehow. He had fun with Joey. He missed living with him and hanging out with him. They were so comfortable and at ease with each other. As long as it was hypothetical, why couldn't Chandler want to date him, especially since the choice was between him and Ross? But apparently it was more macho not to make a choice at all.

He should have known better, but it was hard to tell what was acceptable lately. After all, Chandler had even helped him take a shower once, and when Joey at first avoided flirting with Janine, he flirted with Chandler instead and never felt insecure about his masculinity. It was just the kind of weird meaningless incident that would sometimes happen between them, like that accidental kiss at New Year's.

But then again, Joey had no "gay quality" label plaguing him, so he could act almost any way he wanted to. Chandler sighed and wished that he had the kind of macho reputation that could immediately dispel any gay jokes, but he didn't. So he would just have to be more careful next time. Wait! Next time? No, stop thinking like that! There should be no next time, period.