By: Saiyan Serpent
A/N The beginning of this chapter is still twelve years in the past. It's not actually a flashback from Trunks pov, it is a look into the past. If there is ever a flashback in this story, I will always write "flashback" before the moment is described.
Disclaimer: I do not own db, dbz, dbgt, or any of its characters.
Last Time:
Trunks continued his search upstairs through the few rooms that remained. Clothes were tossed about in an obvious frenzy of packing, but no Videl or Pan. He returned to the main room downstairs and sighed in frustration. Where were they? Where did they go? Why did they leave? Too many questions, not enough answers.
Chapter Six: Love Hurts
He ran a trembling hand through his lavender locks wishing that something would clue him in on the pair's whereabouts. A random image on the floor caught his attention. He lifted a pillow off it to reveal the small object. It was Binkie, Pan's teddy bear. She never went anywhere without it. Trunks clutched his hand tightly around the small bear as a memory swept over him.
Gohan had mentioned Binkie on several occasions. He told Trunks that Pan refused to do anything without that bear. She wouldn't eat, sleep, play, or take a bath without the cuddly companion. Videl had to go as far as put the bear in a plastic bag just so Pan would take her bath.
Binkie became another member of the Son family. That bear meant as much to Pan as Trunks himself did, and that is what was bothering him.
Glancing down at the furry object in his hands, Trunks felt a chill run down his spine. As realization hit him, he squeezed the bear tighter making it bulge at both ends. Pan never went anywhere without her small companion. Trunks knew this.
She would never leave it behind unless… No, he couldn't think like that. He had to get control of his emotions. They were keeping him from looking at the situation objectively. He only knew of few other places Videl and Pan would go in such a hurry.
He convinced himself that the two were fine, not allowing his thoughts to stray elsewhere. It wasn't easy though. He had just lost his best friend, and now this. They had to be okay, and he would not let himself think otherwise.
Closing his eyes, Trunks forced his fears back down into the depths of his subconscious. He had to be strong now. Videl and Pan needed him, now more than ever. He had to find them and make sure they were safe.
Drawing in a ragged breath, Trunks exhaled slowly while opening his eyes. He stood up and looked at his surroundings once more. Gathering his wits, he took off through the front door. Seconds later he was in the air, speeding towards his next destination.
Trunks only knew of two other places he could look: Capsule Corps and the cave. He had already been to the lake to bury his friend's body. If they had been there, he would have seen them.
Trunks searched his memory for a moment trying to recall the exact location of the cave. Gohan had taken him there on one occasion, and he only remembered it vaguely now.
He told Trunks that if the androids ever got near the house, he should take Videl and Pan to the cave. If trouble were ever in that area, Gohan would know where to find them.
Suddenly an image popped in his head and he remembered the location. It wasn't too far, from where he was now. The cave was closer than Capsule Corps, so he decided to go there first.
Within a few minutes, he had arrived at the site. Trunks hovered in the sky for a moment while taking in the scene below him. There were no visible signs of Videl and Pan and he didn't sense their ki anywhere. Slowly, he descended to the ground a few feet from the cave.
He called out to them hoping for a response. He wanted them to know it was him and not the androids. If they could hear his voice, they would know it was safe to come out of hiding.
Trunks heard nothing. He tried calling out to them again, but still no answer. He ventured inside the cave to make sure they weren't there. He formed a small ki ball in his hand to light the dark space. The cave wasn't too large, so he didn't have to search for long.
Exiting the cave, Trunks felt the fear rise up in him again. He fought to suppress it. This was not the time for his emotions to take over. There was still Capsule Corps. It would make more sense that they had gone there, perhaps to see his mother.
Trunks took off in the sky heading straight for home. He was sure he would find them there. They had to be there, and Trunks prayed he was right.
Random images of Videl and Pan swarmed through his mind as he flew toward Capsule. He thought of how Videl would react to the news. Trunks didn't want to be the one to tell her, but she had to know.
Videl was like a second mother to him and he didn't want her to suffer. He knew she would be devastated but he wasn't sure how Pan would react. She was only four years old, and Trunks didn't know if she would understand. How do you explain to someone that age that they will never be able to see their father again? Trunks clenched his fists as he felt the guilt invade his consciousness.
He blamed himself for Gohan's death and claiming that responsibility was not going to be easy. Two of the most important people in his life would suffer for his mistake. His only comfort lay in the promise he would fulfill by finding them.
Soon Capsule was in sight and Trunks felt his heart begin to race. He landed in the back yard and rushed inside quickly. He didn't sense anything, but he didn't expect to either.
Running towards his mother's lab, Trunks slammed the door open. "Mom! Where are you?"
Bulma slightly startled by the intrusion, fell off the stool she was sitting on and hit the hard floor below. "Trunks, honey, is that you?" She was rubbing her hip as he came over to her side.
"Mom, are you okay?" Trunks was cursing himself mentally for scaring her like that.
"Honey I'm fine. You just startled me that's all. Trunks what's wrong, you look upset?" Bulma was worried about her son. She had never seen him look so upset.
Trunks swallowed hard before answering his mother. "Mom, are Videl and Pan here?"
"No they're not. Why do you ask?" Bulma was getting nervous and she had a feeling something was terribly wrong. She saw the look in Trunks' eyes and it made her heart skip a beat.
He sat there on the floor with her as his face paled and his eyes widened. Trunks struggled to find the words. "Mom, are you sure?" He didn't want to believe what he had just heard.
Bulma could hear the desperation in her son's voice and it unnerved her as nothing else ever had. "Yes, I'm sure. Trunks what is going on here?"
"Mom…" Trunks couldn't form the words. He felt the reality of her words sink in as he looked in her eyes. He saw the concern radiating from the cerulean orbs. Trunks looked away as he clamped his eyes shut.
He was fighting back the tears threatening to fall. Trunks could still feel her piercing gaze, and it only made things worse. He could only imagine the disappointment she would feel, hearing how her only son had let his best friend die. Trunks felt like he was living his worst nightmare over and over.
Bulma suddenly noticed something clutched tightly in her son's hand as he looked away from her. It looked familiar for some reason. "Trunks, what is that?"
Opening his eyes, Trunks felt a few tears fall down his cheeks. He knew his mother noticed, but she said nothing. Trunks turned to face her uncertain of what she was talking about.
"What do you mean?" He tried to keep his voice steady as he spoke to her.
"In your hand, what is that?"
Trunks looked down at his left hand and noticed the object pinned underneath his fingers. He had not realized it was still there. He squeezed the bear once again and released it from his grip.
Bulma saw the object drop to the floor by her side. She reached for the small bear and examined it carefully. It looked like; no, it couldn't be, could it?
"Is this…" Bulma was afraid to ask. She wasn't sure she wanted to know the answer to her question.
Trunks knew she had recognized the bear. He couldn't hide it from her now that she had seen it. "Yes, it is." His answer was filled with despair.
Bulma began to panic as she put everything together. "Trunks what happened? Why are you looking for Videl and Pan?" She feared the worst with what little information she had pieced together.
Trunks couldn't tell her, not yet. He had to find Videl and Pan. He didn't know where else to look, but he couldn't give up. He would explain everything to his mother later.
"Mom, I have to go." He didn't give her a second glance before standing up and running out through the door.
"Trunks! Wait!" Bulma had no idea what was going on, but the little she did know disturbed her greatly. She held the bear close to her heart and prayed to Kami that everything would be okay.
Twelve Years Later
The young warrior lay silently on a bed of rock, contemplating his existence. Through his mind ran thoughts of happier times, and not so happy times. Fears resurfaced as terrors were relived.
One thing, however, dominated all thoughts in his mind. It was a nagging thought, one that clung to every fiber of his being, and tore at his heart, eating away a small piece of his soul daily. It was the thought of failure.
Trunks sighed deeply as he watched the sun returning to its resting spot deep beyond the horizon. It lingered lazily, painting a beautiful scene of red, pink, purple, yellow, and orange. It might look like something you would see a child paint in a fit of inspiration. It was beautiful and breathtaking.
The colors seemed to dance in an endless river of warmth as they too retreated towards the horizon. Slowly, the dancing stopped, the colors faded, and the sun fell into a blissful sleep, surrendering to the night sky.
As darkness enveloped the land, stars began to peek through the heavens, gazing at the earth below. Trunks didn't realize just how long he had been daydreaming until the sun began to make its daily descent. He didn't mind though.
There wasn't anything to do right now or at least that's what he told himself. Deep down he knew he should be searching for them but what good did it actually do.
Trunks sighed mentally as his serene thoughts gave way to his daunting task, his eternal fear of failure. Sometimes, he just wanted to die; curl up in a little ball and forget he ever existed, but his thoughts would bring him back to the inevitable reality that was his life. Even though he wanted to give up, his promise pushed him on, daring him to do the impossible, daring him to succeed.
The gentle breeze stirred the leaves and taunted Trunks as it washed over him. The sounds of the day gave way to the sounds of the night. The happy singing of birds replaced with the insistent chirping of crickets.
Insects began to stir, announcing to the world, their entrance into the night. Frogs could be heard in the distance, calling out and splashing every second or two near the calm waters of the lakeshore.
Trunks felt the darkness calling to him, lulling him into its grasp. Stirring briefly, he refused to give in right away. He knew his time would come later, but right now, he had a much stronger urge, an urge that his stomach suddenly reminded him he needed to fulfill.
Realization dawned on Trunks as he remembered he had not eaten lunch, and dinner was quickly becoming the dominant thought in his mind. He was starving and he had not brought any food capsules with him.
Trunks slapped himself mentally for his stupidity. He had spent the better part of the day lost in his thoughts, too preoccupied to notice anything else; even his own hunger.
Groaning with disgust, Trunks pushed himself off the rock. He landed firmly on the ground with a soft thud.
Stretching his body, Trunks took one last look at his paradise before setting off into the evening sky. 'Mom must be getting worried by now,' he thought. Growling loudly, his stomach seemed to signal its agreement with the thought.
His mom was probably worried sick about him. It was true that she was used to him disappearing for days on end, but he was always depressed when he did that. This morning he had been anything but and he was sure she expected him to come back for lunch.
It wasn't often that saiyans missed mealtime, and his current state reminded him why. Trunks was beginning to feel weak and the amount of energy he was using to fly wasn't helping matters. He focused on thoughts of his mother to resist the urge to fall asleep.
Trunks allowed a small smile to grace his lips as he thought of how she would act this time. She was probably going to yell at him again or make him feel guilty at the very least. He didn't mind though. She was the only person he really had left in his life. No matter how upset she got, Trunks knew it was only because she loved him so much.
He often wondered if his father felt the same way. Trunks had only known him through his visits to the past. He spent most of his time there either fighting or training. His father wasn't exactly forthcoming in the emotional department and their time together had not revealed much insight into that side of the saiyan prince.
The interaction he saw between his mother and father was minimal, and it was difficult to tell where their relationship stood. His mother had always been more concerned with Trunks when he was around, especially once she realized he was her future son.
Trunks had not told anyone but Goku of his identity during his first trip to the past. He couldn't take the chance of destroying his life before it even began. The second trip though, most of the z-team had figured this out before he had the chance to tell them.
A younger version of him existed at the time. With that information, and his overwhelming concern for Vegeta, the others had figured out his identity. He hadn't controlled his emotions as well as before, mainly because he knew he had already been born in that time. With his existence no longer in question, he allowed his wall of anonymity to fall.
Trunks had seen the younger version of him on several occasions. Seeing his younger self was weird to say the least. Trunks remembered seeing his small counterpart one occasion while his mother held him cradled in her arms. When he had gotten close enough to the young Trunks, he found himself in excruciating pain.
Baby Trunks had grabbed a handful of his hair pulling at it ruthlessly. He tried to free the small hand from his hair, but the determined child refused to let go. The others seemed oddly amused at the scene, though Trunks did not find it funny at all. Bulma chuckled softly as she pried her son's hand from the long lavender locks of her future son.
He remembered being shocked at the time, not really taking in the irony of the situation. Trunks smiled at the memory. Maybe it was a little funny.
The dome shaped building of Capsule Corps appeared through the darkness of the night, breaking him from his thoughts. Trunks could see the lights on the building's exterior and they seemed to welcome him home.
He landed on the soft lawn nearly losing his balance. His head was swimming and he started feeling faint. The next thing he heard was an ear- piercing scream.
"Trunks Vegeta Briefs!" Bulma was standing at the door fuming over her son. She had been worried about him since lunch and she was going to give him a piece of her mind.
The intensity of her voice startled Trunks sending him to his knees. He felt like he was going to pass out at any moment.
Bulma saw her son collapse on the lawn. Anger was replaced with concern as she rushed to his side. "Sweetie are you okay?" She couldn't hide the worry in her voice, but she didn't care right now.
"Yeah mom. I think I need to rest though." Trunks laid down on the cool grass as the world began to grow dark.
Bulma knew Trunks had not carried any food capsules with him today because he was supposed to come home for lunch. Considering the condition he seemed to be in, she realized he had not eaten since breakfast. As he lay there helpless on the ground, her worst fears were becoming reality.
"Trunks get up this instant! You need to eat something!" Bulma knew if he passed out he wouldn't be able to eat. She had been through this with him before and he nearly died that time. She was fortunate enough to have access to proper medical equipment at the time, but now she wasn't sure she could find any.
Even though the androids were gone, the remains of their destruction lingered across the earth. People still struggled with rebuilding their lives, and now was not the time to have a saiyan food crisis.
The first time she had gone through this with Trunks, he was only nine years old. She never expected to have to go through such an ordeal again. After all, her son was now twenty-six years old. He was a grown man, and he was supposed to be able to take care of himself.
Bulma began shaking her son's body and yelling in his ear. His sensitive hearing no longer seemed affected by the overwhelming volume of her voice. Bulma was beginning to panic; she had to get him up before it was too late.
Trunks wasn't listening to his mother anymore. He could only hear the slow beating of his heart as he drifted into an unconscious state. He felt like he was going to die, but he didn't have the energy to move.
Bulma felt the diminishing pulse at his neck as she tried to shake him awake. He was losing his fight to stay conscious. Bulma could only think of one thing that might wake him right now. She knew it would hurt him, but at least he would be awake long enough to get some food in his system.
Bulma reached down her son's back and yanked his shirt up. She pulled the back of his pants down slightly to expose the flesh there. Taking a deep breath, she raked her fingernails across his skin tearing into the soft flesh.
Trunks awoke with a blood-curdling scream. He was up seconds later, grabbing his back. Tears were streaming down his face as he fought off the waves of pain consuming him.
Wasting no time, Bulma pushed herself off the ground and grabbed her son by the arm. He was in no position to fight back as she dragged him inside to the kitchen. She tossed him in a chair while hurrying off to get some food. When she came back to the kitchen table, Trunks was bent over in his chair sobbing quietly.
She shoved the food in front of him. Pulling his head up by his hair, Bulma screamed in his ear. "Eat!"
Trunks opened his eyes to the feast before him. All his pain seemed to disappear at the sight. He grabbed handfuls of food shoving it into his mouth. After a few minutes, his strength returned to him. The food continued to disappear at an alarming rate as Bulma sat down in her chair.
After a few more minutes, all that remained of the meal were piles of empty dishes. Trunks looked up at his mother who was frowning at him. He avoided her gaze by staring at his hands as if they held something interesting in them.
Trunks knew what had just happened and the pain in his back was nothing compared to the guilt he was feeling now. He didn't mean to hurt his mother, but he had just inadvertently put her through a hell no mother deserved.
Bulma noticed her son's actions and her frown quickly faded. She got up from her chair and walked over to sit in the chair beside Trunks. She reached for his chin and lifted his face to meet hers. Before Bulma could say a word, Trunks spoke softly to her.
"I'm sorry mom." Trunks didn't think all the words in the world could make up for what he had just put her through.
Bulma said nothing. She simply smiled and kissed his cheek. "Trunks just be more careful okay. I'm getting too old to worry about you like that."
Trunks looked at his mother and smiled. Once again, she was the one comforting him.
"That's my boy. I knew you were in there somewhere." Bulma giggled when he laughed at her words. She let go of his face and stood up.
Trunks looked up at his mother still smiling. "Thanks mom."
"That's what mothers are for." Bulma was glad he was feeling better now. She hated seeing Trunks upset all the time. "Now go on upstairs and get to bed. I'll take care of the dishes."
Trunks stood up at the table and did something that Bulma was not expecting. He turned to leave but suddenly changed his mind. Pulling her into a warm hug, Trunks whispered in his mother's ear words she seldom heard. "I love you mom."
Bulma nearly gasped when she heard those words. She felt the tears trickle down her face as her son held her. She pulled him tighter into the embrace burying her face in his chest.
Trunks smiled when he felt the cool liquid soak through his shirt. He knew he didn't tell his mother often how much he cared and he was glad to know how much it meant for her to hear his words. It wasn't easy letting people close to his heart, but if anyone deserved it, his mother did.
He held her for a few minutes longer while she cried softly into his shoulder. He was glad to be the one offering comfort this time. He wished he did it more often, but his pride would not allow it.
He sighed as he heard her sniffles, signaling that she was through shedding her tears. He pulled away from her gently and looked into her watery eyes. The look in his eyes spoke volumes, but he knew the words would mean more to her.
"Mom, I realize I don't say it enough, but I love you more than words can say. I wish you knew how much I appreciate everything you do for me. I know it's not easy being my mother, but you have never let me down. You are there when things get tough, when I'm down on myself, and when the rest of the world abandons me. I cannot imagine bringing a child into this world and handling things as well as you have. You are an amazing person and I am proud to be your son. I could not have asked for a better mother. I don't mean to scare you or upset you, and I'm sorry that I do. I wish there was some way to make it all up to you. Forgive me for not telling you more often, but I do love you, more than you could ever know. You are everything to me and I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you." Trunks breathed a deep sigh of relief. He felt a heavy weight lifted off his shoulders with that simple confession.
Bulma felt the hot tears stream down her face once again. She almost believed this wasn't happening. Her son had just poured his heart out and made himself vulnerable to the world.
Bulma reached up to stroke her son's cheek with her hand. He simply closed his eyes and sighed at the gesture.
When he opened his eyes again, Bulma smiled lovingly at her son. "I love you too Trunks, and I am proud to call you my son." More tears fell down her warm cheeks as she spoke those words.
Trunk brought a hand to his mother's face and gently wiped away her tears. Then he bent down to kiss her forehead before pulling her into another warm embrace. He stood there offering silent reassurance as she cried her heart out.
Some time had passed before Trunks felt his mother's body grow still. Her breathing evened out in a soft smooth rhythm as her arms slid down his back.
Trunks realized she had cried herself to sleep. Gathering her in his arms, Trunks floated upstairs to her bedroom. He pushed the door open gently as he floated across the room. He touched down beside the bed still holding his mother's small form.
He balanced her on his knee using one arm to cradle her against his chest. With the other hand free, Trunks pulled back the layers of material covering the bed. When he finished, he placed his mother on the bed. He carefully removed her socks and shoes, setting them beside the bed. He left her clothes on, not wishing to disturb her further.
Trunks wondered when the last time was that his mother had slept in her own bed. He couldn't remember a time recently that he had seen her upstairs in the morning. She spent so many nights sprawled out across the desk in her lab, he was sure she had forgotten what a real bed felt like.
Pulling the covers back over her body, Trunks looked at his sleeping mother. He smiled to himself before leaning down to place a small kiss on her forehead. "Good night mother," he whispered before getting up to leave.
Trunks padded softly towards the door as his mother's soft breathing filled the room. He glanced back towards the bed before closing the door behind him. He remembered the dishes downstairs, and decided to take care of them before he went to bed.
Trunks trudged back down the stairs, heading for the kitchen once again. Upon returning, he scowled at the large mess. Dishes weren't exactly his favorite thing to do. 'Thank Kami for technology,' he thought.
Trunks walked over to the panel on the kitchen wall and typed in a few commands. Seconds later, a few worker robots appeared in the room quickly initiating their programmed task.
Satisfied with his attention to the matter, Trunks left the worker robots to complete their task. He left the kitchen and returned upstairs heading for his room. Passing his mother's bedroom, Trunks headed down towards the opposite end of the hallway.
He opened the door to his room, relieved to be there for once. Closing the door behind him, Trunks walked over to his bed peeling off clothes in the process. When he reached his bed, all that remained of the clothing were his boxers.
Trunks pulled the sheets back and climbed inside the soft bed. Though it was probably the most comfortable place in the world, his bed seldom offered the comfort one would expect from it. It was a place where nightly its occupant was engaged in fierce battles, never winning one of them.
Thoughts of the resting place filled his mind as he drew in a deep breath. There it was again, thoughts of his promise. He made a promise and he intended to keep it. Besides, his nightmares would never end unless he fulfilled that promise. They were the constant reminder of his failure, never allowing him to forget.
The memories came flooding back along with the guilt. Why had he failed? Gohan would not have failed if the situations were reversed.
Trunks might be able to live with himself if he knew with all certainty the fate of his friend's family, but he didn't. Not knowing was worse than failing. Too many possible situations fought for control in his mind, demanding they were the result of his failure.
What had truly happened to them, only Kami knew.
Trunks was too tired to resist the darkness as it descended upon him. It had been a long day and he didn't feel like fighting right now. Images of the day flashed through his mind as he drifted into his world of endless torture.