As he tried to cool down from his fight with Monica, Chandler sat in Joey's living room and had a beer while he talked to the chick and the duck. "It's just, um..."

He was interrupted, though, when Rachel came home from work. She said, "Hi, Joey!" as she entered.

"No, it's me." Chandler turned around in the recliner so that she could see him.

"Oh, sorry. I just saw a guy in Joey's recliner and I assumed it was him."

"Yeah, well, I don't have my recliner over here anymore, so I had to borrow his." Chandler pointed to the empty spot where his recliner used to reside.A part of him wished that his recliner was still here and that he still lived with Joey.

The birds quacked and clucked, as if they felt the same. Chandler had been trying to explain to them delicately why they still weren't invited back to Monica's apartment, not even for Chandler's upcoming birthday party. The chick and the duck weren't very happy about it.

Rachel got a beer from the fridge, then came over and sat in one of the other chairs in the living room. "I don't like this chair," she said and made an annoyed face. "It's not very comfortable. Why couldn't you and Joey have bought a matching sofa and chair set like Monica has?"

Chandler felt insulted. "Hey, this stuff matches! Kind of." Then he looked around and shrugged as he realized how eclectic the décor was. "I don't know, I'm not a decorator. Besides, I wasn't thinking that clearly because I bought all this stuff in a hurry after I kissed Kathy. I just picked out anything that was comfortable or cool-looking."

"Well then I assume that this chair falls into the cool-looking category," she snarked.

Chandler grumbled, "Joey never complained about the furniture."

"Except when he said it was tainted by your betrayal," she reminded him. Rachel kept fidgeting as she tried to get comfortable in the chair, but it was not as soft and giving as she would have liked. In her opinion, the only decent seats in the place were the leather couch and Joey's recliner, but the couch didn't have a good view of the TV, and Joey was almost always on the recliner that he had named Rosita.

Chandler glanced at Rachel irritably. "If you like Monica's furniture so much, why don't you go move back in, huh? I bet Phoebe will be glad to trade rooms with you again."

"Oh, no, no, no! I've learned my lesson. If it was my old room that I was coming back to, then I'd be there in a heartbeat. But nope, my room has become the Hotel Monica guest room, with no lock on the door and a whole set of crazy new rules to live by."

Chandler felt like complaining about the crazy new rules as well, but instead he pouted and asked resentfully, "What, so you like living here with Joey? You sure didn't wanna move in with him when he first offered. And what about the mess? Back when we switched apartments, you kept whining about how dirty, small, and smelly it was over here."

Rachel shrugged. "Yeah, I know, and believe me, I have to make sure that Joey's not trying to peek at me when I'm dressing or showering. I had to fix that bedroom door for sure. But still, I think I'm beginning to appreciate the lack of rules here and why you liked having Joey for a roommate so much. I mean, I love Monica and all, but she has really become a lot more obsessed about cleaning lately."

"Yeah." Chandler hadn't realized that anyone else had noticed that besides him. Sure, Monica had always been anal about cleaning, but lately it seemed like she was becoming more shrill and freaky about it than ever before. He asked Rachel curiously, "And living with the birds doesn't bother you, either? You're not even tempted to kill the rooster when he crows early in the morning?"

Rachel grimaced. "Well, I certainly could live without the crowing, but I've started wearing ear plugs now when I go to bed. That also makes it easier to sleep through Joey having sex with his dates. Boy, how did you ever get any sleep at night, Chandler?"

Chandler shrugged and didn't reply. Sometimes he'd lie awake at night, listening in and imagining himself in Joey's place, making love to a hot girl. Except for when Joey's girlfriend was Kathy, and it was too painful to eavesdrop.

Just then, Joey arrived home and greeted them enthusiastically. "Hey!"

"Hey."

"Hi, Joe."

"Listen, Estelle got me an audition, and it's the lead for a TV show! I could be the star of my own show!"

"Oh, that's great, Joey!" Chandler got up from the chair and hugged him, while Rachel congratulated him too.

Then she added curiously, "What's the part?"

Joey was giddy with enthusiasm and felt proud. "It's so cool! I'd play a guy named Mac Machiavelli or 'Mac.' Yeah, I'm a detective and I solve crimes with the help of my robot partner. He's a," he struggled to remember the long name, "he's a Computerized Humanoid Electronically Enhanced Secret Enforcer or--or 'C.H.E.E.S.E.'"

Chandler and Rachel realized that this description sounded rather lame and corny, though they didn't want to let it show and make Joey feel bad.

Rachel asked, "So it's Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.?"

Joey gasped as if stunned. "That's the title! Yeah! You know, they really lucked out that the initials spell cheese."

"That is lucky," Chandler said with his best attempt to be deadpan. He wanted to warn Joey that the show sounded like a stinker, just like his movie in Vegas, but he also realized that Joey would probably get mad at him for not being supportive again. Well, why burst Joey's bubble if it was just an audition now and nothing was definite yet? Even if Joey got the part, it would at least mean a good paycheck for Joey. So he just patted Joey's shoulder wordlessly.

"Hey, Chandler, I'm glad you're here. I got some script pages for the audition. Do you think you have time to rehearse with me?"

Chandler hesitated, not sure if he could keep a straight face through all the lines. He looked at Rachel hopefully, "Well, maybe your new roommate--"

"No, no!" Rachel backed away. "No, sorry. I've, uh, I've gotta get ready for a--a big business meeting tomorrow at Ralph Lauren. Maybe some other time, Joey." She then took her beer and retreated into her bedroom, shutting the door.

That left Chandler alone with Joey.

"Come on, please? We could order some pizza and go through it. Or do you have to ask Monica if you can stay?"

"No," Chandler said, a bit forcefully. He hated feeling like he was a kid who had to ask his mom for permission to do anything. "Okay, um, I'll try to help you, but I may be a bit rusty at rehearsing."

"It's okay. Thanks."

So they ordered a Joey special and rehearsed for Joey's big audition. To get through it, Chandler pretended to himself that the bad dialogue was actually done on purpose and that when it was filmed, the director would make it clear that it was an ironic, campy show that played up the cheese for fun. After all, it was called Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.

Rachel went across the hall to have dinner with the others, so she could tell them Joey's good news and why Chandler was busy this evening. The gang came over briefly to congratulate Joey with excitement, but soon Monica feigned allergy symptoms because of the birds and said that everybody should get back to dinner across the hall. They followed their hostess and wished Joey good luck.

Chandler and Joey actually had a great time hanging out alone, almost like when they were roommates, and they even took a break to play some foosball too.

However, Chandler had to go home to Monica eventually, but luckily her mood had improved since he stormed out. They didn't fight again, although she remained a little distant and talked only of how, if Joey got the part, he might be able earn enough money to buy a new fridge and not steal so much food from them. Then they retired to bed.

After that, Chandler tried his best to get along with Monica and not resent her many nitpicky rules, or her lying about being allergic to the birds. She possibly thought it was nicer than flat out admitting that she hated the birds.

Phoebe was hard to live with as well, for she seemed irritable and bitchy, even writing a book about Chandler and Monica and claiming that it was about relationships and "the traps, the pitfalls, what not to do." They argued with her to stop it.

Phoebe also rebelled from Monica's oppressive rules by secretly having her massage clients come over while Monica and Chandler were at work.

When she got home, Monica would often complain suspiciously about Phoebe moving the furniture to accommodate her massage table, and would say that she didn't like strangers getting naked in her apartment. "Why can't you massage them at their own place?"

Phoebe would deny everything and say that she only gave massages at Joey's place, if at all. "Lately, when I'm here, I'm just busy writing more songs to play at Central Perk."

One evening, Chandler decided to escape all the tension between the women by going over to Joey's place again. He found no one in the apartment except for the chick and the duck, so he tried to hang out with them. The birds seemed to be upset with him, though, and they turned their backs on him as if he had betrayed them by moving out and living with Monica. It was almost as cold as how Marcel used to fight with and ignore Ross.

Chandler protested, "Oh come on, guys, it's not like I moved to Europe! I just moved across the hall! And we would have you over all the time if it weren't for... Monica's allergies."

The duck quacked at him skeptically, and Chandler gave in, feeling too guilty to perpetuate Monica's lies. "You're right. I could never lie to you. She hates you."

The phone rang then, which provided some distraction. He joked "Should I get that?" to the birds, then answered the phone. "Hello? Uh no, Joey's not here right now. Can I take a message?" It was about Joey coming back for a second audition for the part of Mac on the cable show.

"Yeah, okay, so the audition has been moved from 5:00 to 2:30? Okay, great. Bye." He hung up the phone and started to write the message on the Magna-Doodle on the door, but Monica walked in at the same time and forced him to jump out of the way.

Monica was startled and angry. "Ahh! Aren't you dressed yet?"

Chandler looked down at his clothes and answered sarcastically, "Am I naked again!"

She had no sense of humor. "We're supposed to meet my parents in 15 minutes for dinner."

He was annoyed by Monica's stern tone, but he gave in because she was probably just upset about Phoebe. Besides, Chandler did like that he was getting along better with Monica's parents since the incident at Thanksgiving. "Yeah, okay. I was just talking to the guys." He pointed at the birds and tried again to win her over, "Just look at them. I mean, is it okay if they come visit?"

Monica nearly sputtered with rage at the suggestion. "Wh! What about my allergies!"

Chandler sighed and frowned in defeat. "Oh right, your allergies."

Monica turned to go, feigning allergic symptoms again even though she had claimed it was a rash kind of allergy and not a sneezing kind of allergy. Chandler followed after her reluctantly, but before he closed the door, he turned back to the chick and duck and told them softly, "All her. She hates you."

He was so distracted by his disappointment and his need to get ready for dinner that Chandler didn't even realize that he hadn't finished the message for Joey.

Later, Joey was very angry at Chandler for making him miss the second audition, but eventually Chandler was able to make it up to him, and Joey got the part on Mac & C.H.E.E.S.E. He was very happy and hugged Chandler warmly. Glad to have Joey's forgiveness and friendship, Chandler missed the good old days and clung to him.

However, he clung too long or too tightly, and memories of their many embraces over the years came back to them.

Joey got a bit uncomfortable and asked, "Hey, do we do this too much?"

Chandler was embarrassed too. "I think so." He coughed. "Yeah, get off me."

"Yeah."

They gruffly let go of each other and moved away, trying to be macho. They went to tell the gang and celebrate Joey getting the part.

As the days grew closer to Chandler's birthday in April, Joey felt that he ought to give Chandler a really good present this year. After all, Chandler had not only helped him get the part as Mac, he had helped Joey keep it when Joey inadvertently got into a fight with the robot's creator. He could have been fired, if not for Chandler being there for him.

So Joey tried to think of a good birthday present for Chandler. Maybe he should buy an arcade game or two, because when Chandler first moved in with Monica, he kept talking about having a game room and buying classic arcade games to put in it. Since Monica wouldn't let Chandler have a game room over there, Joey could always offer to keep the arcade games at his place, with the foosball table, and they could have so much fun playing on them together.

Unfortunately, Joey remembered that he didn't have that much money to spend; he hadn't yet got his first paycheck from Mac & C.H.E.E.S.E., and after paying his monthly bills, his savings were low. Joey felt sad and frustrated. He began looking around his apartment for something else that he could give Chandler as a birthday present.

Joey finally found an old video camera in his bedroom; Joey had bought this camera with his money from his movie with Charlton Heston, and he remembered how he excitedly tried to videotape everything in London with it. He had also tried to videotape the birth of Phoebe's triplets before he came down with a bad case of kidney stones and had to miss it. And who could forget the time he caught Chandler and Monica trying to videotape sex in the living room while they were still having a secret affair. If only they weren't interrupted and he had got to see that tape!

With a grin, Joey finally had an idea for a present. He would videotape a special message to Chandler, telling him what a great friend he was, and how much he missed him as a roommate. Then he could promise to buy him an arcade game once he had the money. "That's it! He'll love it."

Pleased with himself, Joey then searched for a blank videotape to put into the camera. He only found his old videos of Baywatch, porn, and his own home-made porn, though. Maybe he ought to go to the store and buy a bunch of new tapes.

However, then Joey found a tape in the back of a drawer. It wasn't labeled, so he put it into the camera to watch it and find out whether it was empty or unimportant. However, he when he saw the screen, he suddenly realized what it was and stopped the tape.

Shaking all over, Joey gulped and put the camera down, feeling upset and uneasy. Oh God, why hadn't he thrown the tape away? Or erased it? Why?

But part of him already knew why. He had just been in denial all this time, trying to ignore it and pretend it didn't happen, and it didn't mean anything. Joey miserably lay down on the bed and started to cry. He felt so lonely and scared and guilty.

Up next, Chandler's 30th birthday and what's on that mysterious tape. Also, if it seems unfair that I saddled Monica with the dispute over Phoebe secretly giving massages, please remember that on the show when Ross complained about her giving massages at his apartment, he asked whether Monica and Chandler knew that Phoebe had been giving massages at their place. She gave a guilty look and changed the subject.