Warning: This is more random, sick and twisted that the last 2 parts put together.

Part 3: Clark Luthor in Wonderland

Chapter 1: Land of the Random

The grey clouds were creeping slowly across the sky, promising heavy rain as the construction crew began wrapping up their work on the open fields of Smallville. Slowly, the workers began to dissipate, saying good bye to the foreman as they left through the gate of the high chain linked fence.

"Corporate Plaza" the sign hanging on the gate read, next to a picture of high tech building with a Luthorcorp logo at the top.

Finally, the last of the workers was gone and Dan, the foreman, closed the gate, locking it securely before turning to go.

He came face to face with a scary looking old Native American man with long white hair and war paint on his face.

"This land is sacred."

Dan looked at him questioningly.

"And?"

"Your vandalism of this land has angered the spirits. Only death and destruction awaits in your future."

"Are you threatening me?" Dan said as he hovered over the old man.

A lightning bolt hitting the gates stole his attention as the electric currents ran through the chains. Dan sighed in relief that his hand was no longer on the metal. When he turned around the old man was gone.

The sky let out a roar as Dan began making his way to his car, hoping to get away from the creepy place as soon as possible.

A loud crash sounded behind him and he turned around to find a broken grand piano standing horizontally on the ground next to him.

He looked at the musical instrument strangely before going to get a closer look. He examined it before looking up at the sky. There was nothing above him but clouds.

Then another crash sounded in the construction area, he peered over the grand piano to find that there was another one. This one was larger and had fallen onto the machines.

Then another crash. And another. And another.

All around him pianos came tumbling down from the sky, crashing into the land at rapid velocity. Dan hid next to the piano next to him as he watched in amazement.

Then he looked up.

The sight of the shiny black instrument was the last thing he saw.

It has been over a month since the DNA result revealed Clark Kent, alien farm boy of Smallville to be the son of Lionel Luthor and he was surprised to see that he was sort of getting the hang of the whole, being a Luthor and a Kent thing. And now he was going to his first Luthorcorp crisis with his daddy dearest Lionel Luthor.

"Wow!" Clark Kent-Luthor exclaimed as he got out of the limo.

The police were everywhere, blocking the mob that had gathered around the mountains of pianos.

"Oh my god!" Martha Kent said as she stepped out of the limo before helping Lionel Luthor up.

"Can someone please tell me what's going on here?" Lionel asked as Clark and Martha led the blind man through the crowd. The sheriff looked around nervously.

"Well, um... It seemed that uh...It rained pianos last night."

"Please tell me that that is some kind of strange metaphor."

"It's not daddy," Clark said as he lead the man into the site, holding Lionel's hand to the keys of a broken piano at the bottom of the nearest pile. Lionel ran his hand over it, playing a small tune on the battered keys.

"Well, I'm sure stranger things have happened in this town" he said casually before turning back to Ethan, "Any attempt at an explanation of this situation?"

"Well, some suggest that they could have been dropped by a fleet of alien ships. Some said it was a strange military accident but neither explanation is plausible."

Clark tried to look innocent at the mention of aliens.

The sound of tires scratching against concrete came up from behind them and Clark knew, without turning around that it was Lex in one of his fancy cars.

"Hello son," Lionel said as Lex got out of the Ferrari.

"What happened here?" He asked as he stared at the piano pile-up.

"Apparently it rained pianos last night," Clark answered.

"And I thought the rain of frogs in England was bad," Lex muttered as everyone turned to look at him strangely.

"So, what are you going to do about this dad?" he asked, ignoring them.

"I suppose I'll have to hire a crew to dispose of the broken instruments."

"According to witnesses in near by fields, there were no strange lights or sounds, all they saw were pianos dropping from the clouds. They took a picture of it too," another officer said as he handed Clark the photo.

"Well, it looks like whoever did this is a fan of Magritte," Lex stated as he looked at the photo. "Any casualties?"

"One that we found so far, the foreman, Dan Hammond, the piano hit his head and buried him. He died instantly. It happened just after he locked up so the other workers had already left. But we're still looking just to be sure."

"Is it possible that it was a rival company?" Lex asked.

"If it was they must have a very strange sense of humor and too much time on their hands."

"These couldn't have been dropped by a plane, unless it was a military plane and even if they did they wouldn't have fly it into an electrical storm," The officer said.

"Unless it wasn't a real electrical storm" Clark joined in on the conversation.

"Yes, but who would be willing to put that much money into creating a fake storm and buying that many high quality pianos, only to drop it over a construction site after every single worker was gone."

"Maybe it's a warning."

"Then wouldn't it be easier if they just blew the whole place up."

"IT'S A CONSPIRACY!" someone outside yelled. "Part of Lionel Luthor's plan to take over the world!"

Clark rolled his eyes; he had already heard too many lectures on the evilness of Lionel Luthor from his adoptive father.

"NOOOOOOOO! Oh the pianos, the beautiful pianos! Oh poor babies what horrible monsters did this to you?!?"

The loud sobs sounded from a blond girl currently kneeling down on the floor. Her piano patterned skirt was covered in sand and dirt.

"Chloe? Is that you?" Clark asked as he went over to her. The girl looked up and held onto Clark tightly.

"Look at the tragedy that unfolded here, look! I can't believe someone could be so cruel."

Clark was already used to his friend's strange behavior but couldn't help feeling slightly annoyed that his friend had to become an obsessive pianist NOW.

The girl looked up, her makeup smeared down her face as tears rolled down her eyes.

"I must compose a song. A song of sorrow and death, dedicated to all pianists for the tragedy of this day," she said before walking over to one of the mountains. She sat herself down on the floor in front of the piano that Lionel had been playing.

Clark, Lex, and Martha put their hands over their ears.

"Could somebody please get that meddling girl out of here?" Lionel said, ordering the police to take that girl away.

The others sighed in relief as Chloe was dragged, kicking and screaming out of the piano graveyard.

The sun was boring heavily down onto the Earth that afternoon as Clark took a stroll near the construction site. He loved the feel of its rays on his skin, caressing him gently like a lover's touch. He pulled his Ray Bans over his eyes as he unbuttoned the first few buttons of his white shirt, leaving more skin exposed to the luxurious heat. There was nobody else around as far as he could see and he wished he could take of all his clothing and bathe in the sun. He was a nudist after all, and he hated the feel of fabric confining him.

He was really glad that there were no crazy fan girls around, or he would have absolutely no privacy. He tried to focus on his current task of investigating the strange precipitation by scanning the area around the site, but who could concentrate in this lovely weather? he thought as he lay down on the ground and relaxed.

Then the bush near Clark began to shake.

Clark instantly got up and went over to investigate. He stuck his face close to the bush when a small white creature jumped into his face.

Clark fell backwards slightly, and then he turned around and saw a little white rabbit.

"Follow me," it said cheerfully before jumping away.

Clark looked at it confusingly, 'Well I am investigating how pianos can fall from the sky. Might as well ask the talking rabbit about it,' he thought before following. The rabbit's jump was fast, far and high and Clark had to super-speed in order to catch up with it.

Then Clark stopped. The rabbit had disappeared, he spun himself around looking for it, even using his x-ray vision but he still couldn't find it.

Then it fell onto his head and bounced off to stand on a spot on the floor, it looked at Clark in an expression that said, 'Well, what are you waiting for?'

Clark didn't quite know what to do; he kept his gaze trained on it as he slowly walked towards the fuzzy animal.

He didn't notice that there was a very big hole in front of him.

He took a step onto it and realized that there was no longer land beneath his feet.

He fell into the hole like a cartoon.

Clark was at the bottom of the hole, having fallen over 100 feet into the hole. His fear of heights caused him to faint halfway down and he landed with a huge thud on the floor of a cave.

Out of the shadows a wolf came up to him and sniffed him thoroughly before dragging him deeper into the cave.

The wolf dragged him through the darkness until it came upon a bonfire. Standing next to it was the scary old man. The wolf dragged Clark up to the old man who kneeled down to pet the grey wolf before examining the teenage boy.

"Is this the one?" the man asked.

Instantly the wolf transformed into a woman with shaggy black hair and a few pieces of leather covering her body along with a thick layer of dirt and mud.

"Kayla want man. Man smell gooood. He big powerful star man," the cave woman said.

The old man examined Clark closely before getting out a knife and stabbing him in the chest. The knife shattered into a million pieces. Clark began to stir.

"Well what do you know, he is the one after all," the man said before picking two lead rings with glowing green crystals in it. He gave one to the cave woman and put the other one on the boy as his skin began to glow sickly green.

The cave woman smiled, baring coal black teeth as she took out a club and banged Clark on the head, creating a huge lump on the greenish skin and shoving Clark back in lala land. Then she jumped up and down in triumph before dragging him off to a secluded part of the cave.

Clark winced at the painful throbbing in his head as he began to come around. He slowly opened his eyes and looked around. There was a little light spilling from the hole in the ceiling of what Clark figured, was a cave. He shifted his legs then realized that he wasn't alone.

Next to him lay a Native American girl, about his age dressed in black Lara Croft-like outfit, complete with a way too tight sleeveless t-shirt, tight jeans and a long braided black hair. She opened her eyes and sprung up into a sitting position. Clark tried not to stare at her breasts which appeared to be suffocating under her top.

They turned to stare at each other and blinked.

"So..." Clark started.

"So..." she repeated. "I guess you don't know how we ended up here either."

"Nope."

The girl got up and walked over to the opening of the cave.

Clark got up and followed her, when he got to it he realized that they had been in a mini cave inside a much larger cave. The mini cave was also at the top of the gigantic cave. Clark slowly edged away from the edge of the small cave, fearing that he might trip and fall down.

The Lara Croft girl on the other hand, jumped down onto a small ledge nearby, then onto a lower one, then another one and another lower one before backflipping onto the cave floor, landing perfectly on her combat boots.

Clark waited till she turned around and closed his eyes before jumping down 100 feet. He landed on his butt, but was perfectly okay due to his invulnerability.

The girl heard a thud and turned around, taking out a first aid kit from inside a back pack she had with her and going over to Clark.

"Don't move," she said as she examined him, poking and knocking at his legs. Clark resisted the urge to get up and super-speed away, something about this girl was scaring him.

"Can you get up?" she asked and Clark complied. The girl walked around him, before giving his ass a hard smack. Clark blushed furiously.

"Amazing. You jumped 100 feet down onto the ground, landed flat on your ass and are perfectly ok."

"Just really lucky I guess," Clark replied lamely. "So any idea where we are?" he quickly changed the subject.

"Last thing I remember I was in the cave researching with my grandfather."

Clark thought back to what happened before; the last thing he remembered was following a talking white rabbit. Maybe it was all a dream, but that didn't explain how he ended up in a cave with a strange woman lying next to him.

"I'm still in Kansas right?" he asked, wondering if he was also sporting sparkly red shoes. He looked down, his sneakers were red, but weren't sparkling. Thankfully.

"The cave I was investigating was in Smallville. I assume we're still there. So what's your name, boy wonder?" she asked flirtingly.

"I'm Clark...Clark Kent" he wasn't exactly lying, she didn't ask for his full name. Besides, a lot of people hated the Luthors, for all he knew she could be a meteor mutant who hated Luthors with a burning passion. "I never knew there were caves down here."

The girl snorted. "Of course you didn't. Luthorcorp doesn't want anyone knowing about them. And if they have their way, all of them will be completely destroyed."

Clark gave her a tight smile, hoping that he didn't look guilty as he edged away from her.

"So what's your name? Or should I just call you Lara Croft."

"I'm Kyla," she said with a smile; then her expression changed into that of pure wonder as she looked behind Clark. Slowly, as if in a trance, she walked past him as she brought out her flashlight and shine it on the wall.

"Oh my god!"

Clark wondered if the girl had just discovered that they were in the Cave of Wonders and that Aladdin's genie was somewhere around here. Everything felt so surreal to him that he wouldn't be surprised if the Mad Hatter came up and called him Alice.

"What is it?" Clark asked, placing his hand on his head, the throbbing wasn't that bad now, but was still there.

"It's the legend of Naman. My ancestors have passed the story down for generations." She said as she gestured to the primitive drawings on the walls. "It's been written so long ago, but nobody knew where it was until now. Whoever put us in this place must have wanted us to find it... It must have been the spirits that guarded this place. They must have known the Evil Luthors were about to destroy it so they sent us here."

"Couldn't they just fax us a map?"

"The spirits work in mysterious ways."

"So they're too mysterious to make things easier for us?"

"You cannot define the thoughts of the mysterious ones."

"So are they gonna knock us out again and drag us outside too?"

"Blasphemy, do not insult the mysterious ones. They work in mysterious ways and yes I know we've been talking in mysterious circles for the last five minutes."

"You really like the word mysterious huh?"

Kyla rolled her eyes before turning back to the primitive pictograms; next to it were strange hieroglyphic writings. Next to that was a perfectly shaped octagon cut out of the cave. Clark ran his fingers over it lightly. 'So this is where the key fits into' Clark thought. He was officially intrigued.

"Anyway, it was prophesized that Naman would fall from the sky in a rain of fire. They say that he will have the strength of over ten men and can shoot fire from his eyes."

Clark gulped as he began to sweat.

"He can also see through walls and run faster than the wind" she said as she threw him a suspicious glance before turning back to the wall.

"Well, there isn't anyone like that around here." Clark said as he slowly edged away from her. She was still busy interpreting the pictograms.

"He will also have curly dark hair and sparkling green eyes."

"Nope, not anyone I would know" Clark said in an uncharacteristically high pitched voice.

Kyla turned towards him, walking slowly like a predator ready to pounce.

"He's around 6 foot four inches tall."

Clark gulped as he backed up into a cave wall.

"Has tan skin."

Clark squeaked as Kyla walked right in front of him and pressed her boobs against his chest. She ran her fingers over his lips. Clark shuddered.

"And a very pretty mouth."

Clark swallowed again and found his voice.

"Well...now that we have so much info on him, I'll just go and look him up in the yellow pages." He said as he ducked under the girl's arms, out of her reach. He was just beginning his super speed when he tripped over a rock and fell very ungracefully to the floor.

Combat boots followed to where he lay. Then Kyla kneeled down to look at Clark.

"According to the legend, anyone who bears that symbol is Naman's soul mate," she said before pointing to a picture on the wall. Clark followed the finger to a square spiral symbol on the wall. When he turned back to the girl she was holding up her fingers to show a ring made of lead.

It had that symbol on it.

"I- um...well in that case we should really go find him right now," and he jumped right up but just before he started running, the girl had her hand on his arms.

"Naman," she called him.

Clark pulled his arm away from her. That's when he saw it.

On his finger lay a lead ring, identical to Kyla's.

He hid his hand behind his back and tried to pull it off. It wouldn't come off and chances were, Kyla had already seen it. Kyla walked into his personal space.

"Don't fight your destiny, Naman. The spirits brought us together and bound us with the rings. Don't you see we're meant to be?"

"I'M A LUTHOR!" Clark blurted out, hoping to get the scary girl away from him.

"I don't believe you."

"Really, I am. I'm all evil and stuff." Clark racked his brain for something really evil he could do in front of the crazy girl, but nothing came to mind.

"Well then maybe you could talk to your Lionel Luthor about the caves," Kyla said as she put her hand on his chest and he cursed himself for unbuttoning his shirt earlier.

"Ok, so I'll just go and talk to him right now." Just as he was about to speed off again, he fell to the ground. The spiral on the ring began to glow green.

Kyla smirked. "Of course we will," she said as she leaned down to kiss Clark's sweaty forehead. "I'm so glad you decided to introduce me to your parents. And I thought you weren't serious about me. But first, I must introduce you to my grandfather; he'll be thrilled to meet you."

Clark groaned in pain as Kyla pulled him up to his feet. But then the pain went away. He looked down at the ring and realized that it was no longer glowing.

TBC