Author: Fine, don't reveiew then gets all huffy and pouts... this part of the fic has yet to be posted at ssa. I posted it only because of LilliLuthor, the only one who cares about my story...This part is not finished yet Lilli, that's why I ahven't posted it up at ssa, and maybe i'll need to repost this a few times before I do post at ssa.
And if you thought the last parts were inconsistant...
SHOCK HORROR SHOCK HORROR or the Grand Adventures of Clark Luthor
Part 4: Brought to you by Oxy Moron (Inc.)
Chapter1: The secret spilling frenzy
Lana's mascara was bleeding as she walked slowly into the barn. There were tears running down her smooth pale face, staining it with her eye make up as she climbed up to the loft.
Clark's super-hearing picked up on the sound of high heels and quickly got dressed. Lana had caught him when he was practicing nudism once before. It would be just a little too coincidental every time she came here, he was changing clothes. As Lionel had taught him, coincidences are an explanation used only by fools and liars.
He was back in jeans and a t-shirt by the time she came up.
"Lana, what happened?" Clark said and the girl instantly fell into his arms and burst out crying. Her sobs echoed through the entire barn and Clark wondered if she was scaring all the animals.
Eventually the girl sobered up and looked up at her ex crush. Her voice was a little raspy as she spoke.
"The army just called. (sob) Whitney went (sob) missing in action."
"Oh," Clark didn't really quite know what to say, he didn't know the other man all that well.
"Listen Clark, there's something I need to tell you. It's something we both should have told you a long, time ago, but... Well I guess we were both just scared. But well, Whitney's not here now, and he might never have the chance to tell you and he would have wanted you to know."
"Wanted me to know what?"
"Whitney's gay Clark. He's been into you for years."
'Well that was unexpected' Clark thought as his brain started to process this new information.
"But if he liked me why did he..." There was so many ways to continue that question Clark couldn't decide which one to end it with.
"String you up on a cross? He was pissed off 'cause you wanted me and not him. Never say anything? This is Smallville, Kansas where sodomy is still illegal, and his dad is a raging homophobe. Act like a complete bastard towards you? He was covering his tracks in fear of being discovered. Date me? I was his cover so no one suspects why a hot quarterback doesn't have a girl. Did I miss anything out?"
"Yeah," Clark said as she wiped the black stain of make up and tears on her face. "Why did you agree to go out with him if you knew he was gay?"
At that Lana blushed, she shifted her feet and bit her lips, wondering if she should tell him. 'Well, I did tell Whitney's secret, it won't be fair if I didn't tell mine.'
"Um...Listen, I...well there's something else I kinda have to tell you... About me...um, you see I've always kinda had a crush on you too and the reason I didn't date you is, um, well... I should just show you."
Shakily, the girl unbuttoned her tight jeans as Clark stood completely still, not quite sure what was going on as the girl pulled her pants down to her hips.
Then Clark saw the bundle under the lacy pink underwear and his jaw dropped.
The girl slipped of the frilly undergarment, showing Clark what he had guessed was in there.
It was a very well endowed schlong.
"Oh my fucking god!" Clark exclaimed and tried not to drool, the limp meat stick was long and thick, even more impressive than Clark's own and Clark couldn't help but gawk. "Chloe is a very lucky girl," Clark muttered under his breath.
"Thanks," Lana replied, seeing that Clark's eyes were almost popping out of his head. She smiled at the compliment as she stuffed the cherry popper back into her pants.
"So is that the only reason you didn't go out with me back when I had a crush on you?"
"Well kinda, I mean, if I knew that you were gonna react by drooling like you did then I would have shown it to you a lot sooner. But that's not the whole story," she said as she sat down, Clark sat next to her.
"Before High school started, Whitney found out my secret and then he told me his. We made a deal, Whitney gets a cover girlfriend, I get to be the most popular girl in school and we'll help cover each other's secret. It worked out great for a while, but then we both know that the both of us have a crush on you Clark. And when Whitney saw us together at the graveyard the first time he got pissed off and pulled the scarecrow stunt. After that...well you know we got into this huge fight and by the
end of it, we finally came up with this deal... See everyone who knows you know that you have this big secret with you...no one really knows what it is but they're all curious. So um...well, me and Whit, we um...had this deal that the first one of us who can get you to tell them your 'big secret' is the one that will go out with him. Cause we think that if you care enough about the person to tell you your secret, then you won't mind our little secret."
Lana sighed, her eyes were wet and shining again at the thought of her best friend, she hated how everything turned out. Her friend should have been here, jumping with joy like the fag he is that the man of his dreams isn't as straight as he thought he was and that his biggest rival for him had left the race. Lana didn't even get a chance to send him a letter telling him about her and Chloe yet.
Clark put his hand on her knee in a comforting gesture. "Whitney's going to be alright Lana, he'll be back."
The girl's eyes were already hurt from being rubbed too many times and she burst into tears once again, her arms going around Clark as her tear stained face fell upon the red t-shirt. "He used to talk about you all the time you know," she said almost incoherently against him. "Used to talk about how brave you were. He used to glow for d-days every time you s-saved his life. You can't save him again can you?"
It was the last coherent thing he could hear her say before the dam broke and all she could do was cling to him as the river flooded her eyes.
Clark didn't say anything, he held the girl he had come to consider as a close friend tightly in his arms as she leaned into his comforting touch. It was becoming more and more difficult to breath but Lana didn't want to move anywhere. So she just lay there as Clark rubbed her back, helping her not to choke.
The girl stopped after a while and just rested her head on his lap, both their bodies growing very still, as they looked deeply into each other's eyes. Carefully Clark pulled Lana's head up to him.
Their lips mashed together for less than a second before they pulled away from each other. Lana sat up.
"So..." Lana started after a minute of awkward silence.
"That was very…um"
"Enlightening?" Lana half asked half stated.
"I was going for confirming, but yeah," Clark said as he sighed and leaned back against the sofa. "So, it's really obvious now that we both gay, and that we only think we like each other as a form of denial."
"Well, I wouldn't exactly it gay or straight cause, you know, but yeah...That was probably why we were drawn to each other, cause we subconsciously know about each other's sexual orientation. Actually I knew about yours already but I just wanted to be certain."
"So when did initially you figure it out?"
"I think it was when Chloe called me Mr. Lang and I liked it."
"I meant, when you figured out about me but... interesting."
"I think I figured that out when you were flirting with my biological father."
"I did not!" Clark denied with a mock hurt look.
"Did too!" Lana replied in an equally juvenile tone.
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too."
"Did not."
"Did too."
Clark sighed; there was no wining this argument so he just shut up. "So, friends?" Clark asked giving her his hand in offering.
"Friends" Lana took the hand and shook it roughly.
"So, what's the deal with you and Lex?" she asked suddenly.
"What's the deal with you and Chloe?" Clark countered.
Lana rolled her eyes, and then smiled dreamily. "Chloe is... I don't know what to say about her. I mean she's everything and anything but also just uniquely herself in that strange way. There's never a dull moment with her, I mean she's just so exciting. I've never met anyone so special, not even you Clark... Oh and she's a vixen in bed. Your turn Clark."
"Ok, well, I'm not really sure about me and Lex. I mean we haven't actually talked much about that. I mean he's still my big brother but well... How did you know about me and Lex anyway?"
"Oh please, he was practically dry humping the nearest object every time you walked into the room. I didn't think much about it, but when you started returning the look, I knew you two must be doing it."
Clark blushed and Lana snickered before pinching his cheeks.
"Hey!" Clark said moving slightly away from the half girl. "So, if Whitney returns, are you gonna tell him about me and Lex?"
"I don't know; do you want me too?"
"I... I don't know," Clark replied inconclusively. "Lana can I tell you a secret?"
"Sure Clark. You can tell anything, I won't tell anyone. I have my own remember?"
Clark smiled a genuine blinding white light smile at her before moving closer to whisper conspiratorially into her ears.
"I'm also sleeping with Lionel."
Lana's jaw fell off its joint for a second before she gathered it back up.
"You sick twisted little faggot!" she exclaimed, but there was a little curve to her lips and she punched him playfully "The incestuous Mickey Rainbow."
"What did you just call me?"
"Clark Jerome Julian Percival Heracles Mickey Rainbows McDonald Kent Luthor!" Lana teased in a sing-song voice.
"Don't you ever call me by my full name ever again!" Clark said warningly. "And it's Macdonwald, not McDonald. And there's no Jerome any more, they thought it would be too long."
Lana snorted before laughing even harder. "Clark Julian Percival Heracles Mickey Inc-hmmph" Lana was cut off when Clark plastered duck tape over her mouth.
"Ow, that burns," she said as rubbed at the raw skin when she pulled it out. "So how high were they when the Luthors named you that?"
"I don't really remember much of that first night as a Luthor but I think between my dad's threat of pitch forking Lionel and Lionel's cryptic metaphorical speeches, it was my mother who came up with the Mickey Rainbow on her ninth glass of wine."
Lana snorted before bursting out laughing. Clark joined in this time.
"So tell me more about Big Daddy Lion. Were you with him before or after the DNA test claims you to be his son?"
"After."
"So the incest thing is a turn on then. My, my who would have ever thought that a sweet little boy like Clark Kent would be that kinky?" She asked rhetorically "Does Lex know you're sleeping with him?"
"Actually the whole thing is a 'Luthor Family Tradition'," he said casually.
"No wonder the Luthors are so...unconventional. So how did they get you to do it with them? I highly doubt you'd just jump into their bed after they told you."
"You'd be surprised" He said as he found a chocolate bar in his backpack and took it out. He unwrapped it and took a bite. "Actually, I'm not really a Luthor."
"Yeah, yeah, I know you're a Kent-Luthor, part sweet and wholesome, farm grown, all American-"
"No, I mean it wasn't my DNA they tested" Clark cut in, deciding to tell Lana the truth for once. He felt a lot closer to the girl now more than ever and felt he could trust her.
"So who's DNA was it?"
"Pete's."
"Explains the fainting thing," Lana replied casually. The girl didn't ask anymore questions which surprised Clark, but at the same time gave him a sense of comfort.
"I better go, I still have some things to do at the Talon," she said before getting up.
"Ok, bye Lana."
"I'll see you around" she said to her friend, "Mickey Rainbow," she added before running off.
"Hey Julian," Lex greeted as Clark entered his study.
"Hey Lex," Clark replied, with his trademark smile on his face, he took a bite out of an apple before asking with a mouthful "Wafup?"
"Don't talk with your mouth full it's-"
"Unbecoming of a Luthor, I know," he said before taking another bite.
There was a moment of silence and Clark saw something unfamiliar flicker in Lex's eyes.
"Clark, I think we need to have a long overdue talk," Lex said finally, and Clark has a sudden sinking feeling in his stomach. The teen sat himself down opposite his 'brother'. Another moment of silence passed before finally Lex started speaking.
"Listen Clark, I know that there hasn't been a lot of discussion on the issue of what we do together, as a family." The discomfort on Lex's face told Clark exactly which family activity he was talking about. The teen blushed as he was instantly reminded of when Jonathan and Martha Kent had 'the talk' with him.
"Lex I-"
"No Julian; listen, I know that it had been more than a bomb dropped on you when you found out me and dad together. And I knew you went along with the whole thing after but-"
"Lex, I enjoyed it, it's not like you and daddy forced me into it," Clark's blushed deepen as he thought of that first night.
"I know, Clark. But I've passed by your loft earlier today. I saw you with Lana."
'Oh shit!' Clark thought, his mind filling up with images instilled in him by Jonathan. What's left of his body floating in glass tank filled with bubbly green liquid as scientists dissected his still struggling slimy alien organs which could have been any part of his extraterrestrial anatomy. Clark gulped.
Even though he didn't tell Lana the whole thing, Lex could start questioning him about the DNA test, and even though Lex promised not to investigate him, he was sure he would now. And this time, he might actually find something, and as much as he trusts Lex, he doesn't quite trust the obsessive scientist in him.
"What did you hear?" Clark asked, he was sure a look of horror was evident on his face. Lex on the other hand was a perfect mask of calm.
"I only stayed to witness your kiss. What I-"
"Lex; that kiss lasted less than a second. Lana is with Chloe now, you know that, they're crazy about each other."
"Obviously not that crazy about her if she's sneaking into your loft and kissing you Clark."
"She just wanted confirmation that we were both gay," Clark explained.
At that Lex nodded understandingly, but the conversation was not over yet.
"Well either way this discussion has been long overdue. Now I know that the relationship within this family isn't entirely platonic, but neither is it romantic or purely sexual either. It must be very confusing for you" Lex took a drink from the Ty-nant water. Clark's green eyes were sparked with interest as he watched Lex wrapped his lips around the blue bottle, his throat working the liquid down.
"Sure Lex," Clark said, not really listening to what Lex was saying. He barely noticed himself speaking.
Lex sat himself down on the desk, his blue eyes fixing intensely on Clark's, concern shining through them.
"If there was a course in Luthor relationships then it would have been compulsory for you to take it, unfortunately it's not. I just wanted you to know that as a member of this family, you are completely free to date whoever you want...despite what dad might say. I know that this relationship we have might make it more difficult to date and if it's making you uncomfortable in anyway you can always talk to me about it. We're not gonna force you into anything...well at least I'm not."
Clark smiled brightly before putting his arms around Lex's waist and pulling him close for a tender but passionate kiss.
By the time they pulled apart, both of them were flushed from lack of oxygen, their clothes equally dishellved as Clark's fingers played with Lex's left nipple beneath the purple fabric.
"You can never force me into any of this Lex," he said between kisses on Lex's collarbone, "Unless, you count the force of your sexiness making me do it."
Lex gave him a sultry smile.
In response, Clark wiped Lex's things off the desk, papers flying, before he threw his brother onto its wooden surface and proceeded to devour him.
Jonathan Kent was visibly shaking with no small amount of fear masked by raging anger as he stormed through the halls of the drafty castle, not even stopping to look for trap doors or secret passages this time as he head to the war room to see his blond lover.
"Jonathan, how lovely to see you again," Lionel said, expecting the intrusion.
"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS LIONEL?" Jonathan asked a little too loudly as he placed the octagonal key that Lionel had given to him onto the table.
Lionel knew exactly what it was that Jonathan had just put down. He can probably even give a rather accurately guess as to when and where Jonathan had opened his gift to him, and his reaction upon seeing the octagonal shaped metal within the little blue box.
Lionel knew Jonathan very well, knew that he was still as predictable as he's ever been, despite his paranoia and ridiculous absurdities.
"What does the object mean to you Jonathan?" Lionel countered casually, painting the perfect picture of calm elegance.
Jon's lips tighten in response, like a piano string wound just a little too tight. The man shifted his feet, much like his son does when he was nervous, but there was an angry edge to it as his mind seemed to race for an answer. He realized now that he had given himself away by showing Lionel that the key is important, maybe that was what Lionel had planned all along; to use him to get to his secret.
Either way he knew he couldn't break it off with Lionel, not because he was such a great lover (even though he is), but also because he's still on a mission. That's what he needs to keep reminding himself. That this is just a mission; a chance for him to get up close and personal with Lionel so he could discover his evil plans and reveal it to the rest of the world.
And so he keeps telling himself that.
It just so happens that he's shouldn't be telling it to himself, aloud.
Lionel smirked as he heard Jonathan mumbled to himself about the 'secret' Anti-Luthor Society and his 'spy mission' though he didn't say anything and chose to let the man rambled on and spilled out all of his secrets.
Lionel had expected the spy thing from the start; why else would Jonathan just show up one morning and tell him that he misses him, but it was interesting to hear it from the man's own lips when he doesn't even realize he's saying it.
After a few minutes of ranting Jonathan slumped down onto a nearby chair, his hands rubbing against his forehead. The lines of age etching his face as his tense body began to unwind in defeat. He looked up at Lionel with pleading blues eyes as if begging him not to ask.
He'd almost forgotten that the other man is blind.
The blond man glanced at the octagon laying almost innocently on Lionel's desk. How long had he known Lionel? Why hadn't he ever learnt how to play this game Lionel played before?
Jonathan shook his fears away and put the octagon into his pocket before walking confidently over to Lionel.
"Thanks for the gift," he said as he leaned down to give the man a forceful kiss.
"Bye Lionel, I have to go feed the cows" he said before walking away, smirking.
TBC