Ok this is basically crap, and its the last chapter I have written cause I think I just got a writer's block... actually my muse Eva had run off to Tahiti with Luceil but then I had a new muse for a while and she was a green fairy but then Eva got back and she was jealous so she killed her and now's she's disappeared again. So now I have a writer's block... anyway I hope this isn't too bad.

Chapter 3: Jinkies!

The meteor rock spray dissipated eventually. By that time both Chloe and the blond man had dragged Clark onto a sofa and had closed down the Talon, placing a sign that says Closed due to manager being kidnapped.

"Clark, are you alright?" the blond man said as his hands rubbed at Clark's biceps.

"Yeah, I'm ok," the teen said as he got up and looked into the smiling face.

"Whitney?" He squinted as he stared at the blond. He had found the time to shave while Clark was out and was now more recognizable as the ex football captain everyone at Smallville High adored. He ran his hand over his messy long hair as Chloe gave him a glass of water.

"He'll be alright" the girl said. She was currently dressed in a Xena Warrior Princess outfit complete with the large breasted body armor and sword strapped to her back.

Whitney ignored her, Lana had already told him about Chloe. He was rather surprised to find out that she and Chloe were dating what with Lana's obsession with the beautiful Clark Kent. Whitney was very glad for that, now he had less competition for Clark.

"Are you sure you're alright Clark? You seem tense. Perhaps I could give you a massage?" Whitney asked; his voice deep and seductive as his hands moved to Clark's shoulders and squeezed at his hard muscles.

"No Whitney its ok you don't have to...oh that feels good" Clark moaned as Whitney messaged him, calloused hands rubbing at his neck and shoulders. "Mmmm..."

"Hey, you two, stop wasting time. We must find Lana" Chloe said with irritation.

Clark got up instantly. Whitney pouted.

"Yeah, you're right Xena, we must find her."

"And where do you suppose we start?" Whitney asked as he got up.

"We should check at the Greer's resident. She probably won't be there but there should be some clue as to wear she could hide," Chloe said, her reporter's instinct amazingly still intact.

"Well, I'm usually not part of this Scooby gang but I guess I could tag along. Lana is my best friend after all" Whitney said, 'plus I get to spend time with Clark' he thought.

"I think we should get Pete first, he's been left out too much as it is," Clark suggested as he thought of his best friend.

"We left him out for a reason Clark; I don't want anyone fainting on the job."

"I promise I won't bring up Luthors. I mean, we need all the help we can get."

"Alright fine, we'll go get him," Chloe said as she led the trio out of the Talon.

"Oh my god!" Whitney exclaimed dramatically as the van came down the street. Chloe had told them to wait in front of the coffee shop while she went to get the van but none of them were expecting this.

Clark and Pete tried their hardest not to laugh hysterically. Clark had already filled his friend in on the situation and now they were waiting as the bright blue, orange and green vehicle parked itself in front of them.

The words 'Mystery Machine' was painted in bright orange on the side of the van.

No one was surprised as Chloe jumped out dressed in an orange jumper, a red pleated skirt and orange knee socks. The over sized glasses made her eyes look bug-like and the brunette bob looked slightly lopsided on her head.

"What's so funny Fred?" The girl asked. That was when Whitney realized that he was conveniently blond and dressed in blue. At least he wasn't wearing any tacky orange scarf that complete clashed with the rest of his outfit.

"Nothing Velma," Whitney said as he draped his arms around Clark. Pete looked at the ex football captain strangely for a minute before turning his attention back to Chloe.

"What are you guys waiting for? Get in. Fred, you drive," Chloe said as she threw him the key.

"Hey, are you sure it's a good idea to let a one eyed man drive?" Pete asked as he looked at Whitney's eye patch.

"Here, you drive Shaggy," Whit said as he threw the keys to Pete.

"If he's Shaggy then who the hell am I?" Clark asked as they all got into the van.

"Scooby?" Pete suggested with a wide grin. Clark just sighed.

"What's that!??" Whitney said. He was sitting at the back of the van, staring out through the glass.

"What is it?" Clark asked as he went to investigate

"I don't know, I think I saw someone following us. Someone in a military uniform."

"Well I don't see anything." Clark said as he used his supervision and x-ray vision to scan the area. Nothing.

"I don't see nothing either." Pete said as he looked out into the empty street behind them. "Are you sure you're alright Whitney?"

"Yeah, I'm ok. It was probably nothing."

Clark looked at the blond man skeptically for a minute. "Whitney, what happened to you when you went missing?"

"I-I don't remember," Whitney's facial expression was one of both realization and confusion at the same time. As if the thought had never occurred to him. "All I remember was that my comrades and I were in the jungle. There was an explosion and the next thing I know I'm back in Smallville."

"So you don't remember anything of the time you went missing?"

"No."

"How strange," Chloe stated obviously as they all got out of the van. Whitney looked around nervously as he did so. He still felt like he was being followed.

Breaking and Entering had been the gang's usual method of entrance, but nobody seemed to notice or care as the team went in.

The Greer's Antique shop was in shambles as they walked in. There was a thick layer of dust covering everything, and it reeked of a dank smell. After Tina was sent to the asylum, the place went to her cousin, Sara McKean who is now desperate to sell it though there are no buyers.

"I think we should split up," Whitney said as they stood, looking awkwardly at each other as they stood in the middle of the room. "Clark and I will be looking for clues upstairs. You guys stay downstairs ok?" Whitney didn't wait for an answer. He simply grabbed Clark by the arm and dragged him up to the second floor leaving behind a confused Velma and Shaggy.

Tina's room was a typical teenager's room. Meaning it was in a complete mess. There were clothes lying everywhere, books and papers strewn across the floor and random bits of stationary on the bed. Whitney gave a disgusted look as he clung onto Clark.

The brunette ignored the blond and began searching for clues. Or at least tried to ignore him, till he felt a hand ran up inside his shirt. He turned around to look at the blond.

"Whitney, don't you think we should be- mmmph!" Clark was suddenly attacked by a pair of warm but slightly chapped lips. Whitney's tongue was rough and quick as it explored to contours of Clark's mouth.

The kissed lasted only for a moment before Whitney let go.

"God, you're beautiful," he said breathily before moving to nip at Clark's ears and moving down; his short rough stubble rubbing against his face. "I've been wanting you for so long Clark."

Clark gasped as Whitney pressed the bulge of his crotch against him and instinctively pushed back. Whitney licked his lips as his talented hands began to message the front of Clark's jeans. Waves of pleasure shot down through his body and he barely registered as Whitney ripped his silk shirt off and tried to mark the unmarkable skin. Clark moaned as Whitney's lips found the sensitive nubs and he arched so violently the other man almost fell off him.

"HOLY SHIT! MY EYES! MY EYES!"

Clark was sure he blushed so hard that the capillaries in his face to popped.

"Pete! We were just um..." Clark paused as he pushed Whitney away. Apparently the blood was still too condensed in his nether regions for him to think up any excuses.

"Making out," Whitney stated truthfully. Clark glared at him.

"What?" He replied with an innocent look.

"Whatever. I don't want to know. Velma sent me up to get y'all. She's found a clue."

"Alright, tell her we'll be down in 15 minutes," Whitney as he squeezed Clark's ass. The guy yelped.

Pete simply rolled his eyes. "Fine; whatever man. I need to go wash my eyes out with soap." Pete aid as he walked out the door.

"Pete, wait!" Clark called after him as he ran out the room.

"What?"

"Pete, I think we should talk." Clark said seriously.

"Yeah?"

"Well about what you saw in there. I um... Well I just wanted to tell you that I'm-"

"Gay? It's alright Clark. Don't worry about it. You weren't ready to come out, it's understandable."

"Really?" Clark asked with a sheepish look on his face. "So you're not freaked out or anything?"

"Clark, I didn't care that you're an alien, why should I care if you like dicks instead of chicks?" Pete smiled reassuringly at his best friend. "Besides, I've already had plenty of time to get used to the idea." He added.

Clark beamed at his friend; then caught the last sentence. "Wait, what do you mean you had plenty of time to get used to it?"

"Well, just about everyone in Smallville knows that you slept with Lex Luthor."

"WHAT???!!!"

"It was all over the school last year Clark. Everyone was talking about it. Clark Kent, reclusive nerd got himself a sugar daddy. I didn't actually believe it until I actually saw you guys together. I mean, if it wasn't Chloe who run the Torch, that story would have been front page news."

"But I didn't sleep with Lex last year!"

"Aw! Come on Clark, you don't need to lie to me. Everyone knows. You've been so openly flirting with each other ever since you met."

"What flirting??!!"

"Stop doing that Clark. There's no point in lying, I just saw you make out with Whitney. You're coming out of the closet so you might as well admit to everything. I mean that thing where you claim that you and Lex are "brothers", that is so not right. I mean if me and my brothers were ever like that, I mean, I don't even want to think about it."

"Pete! I'm serious. I didn't start sleeping with him until about a month ago. And I didn't fully realize I was gay until about 2 days ago."

Pete paused and gave Clark a look. "Well in that case, man, you're slow! Anyway, I'm glad you're finally over him. I never trusted that Luthor anyway. Whitney's a much better choice. "

"Um... Thanks Pete," Clark said as he shifted his feet. "Let's go see that new clue Chloe found," he said suddenly, grateful for the change of subject.

"Alright then, let's go get your boyfriend then we'll go down."

"Jinkies!"

"Man! That's nasty!"

"That has got to be the sickest thing I have ever seen in my entire life!"

"I dunno, I thought that Lionel doing it with play boy bunny Le-" Chloe stopped mid sentence as she realized Clark was glaring at her. "Never mind."

They were all staring into a gigantic cardboard box which Chloe had found under the floor board. In all there years of living in Smallville, nothing shocked them quite as much as what is currently inside the box.

Vintage Disney Porn!!!

And by porn, I don't mean Snow White/Prince Charming type porn. I mean Snow White/ Queen/ Small Disney Animals type porn. There were stacks of these pictures piled up inside the boxes; original prints with the animator's signature on them. It wasn't framed and Chloe can feel the dried paint on her fingers as she touched it.

"Velma, would you mine telling me exactly how pornographic cartoons are considered clues?" Clark asked, wondering if the girl had finally cracked completely.

"You guys might not have noticed this, but if you look at the back of some of the Aladdin section, there are markings on it." Chloe said as she got the Aladdin stack out of the crate and showed them.

"They just look like tiny dots of ink to me."

"Yes, but not this one." She said as she handed them an especially kinky one of a chained up and gagged Princess Jasmine, bonded to a very painful looking torture device and censored censored censored censored censored censored censored censored

Clark tried to ignore the picture on the front and turned to the back of the paper. There was a big red 'X' in the top right hand corner of it.

"Looks like a pirate map."

"I think we should look for all the ones with markings behind it. If we can some how combine it all together, we could create a map that will lead us to her hide out" Chloe said as she started stacking up the pictures for the gang to search.

"New Orleans, she's going to New Orleans. Some where along the Mississippi River"

"New Orleans! We can't just all go to New Orleans! How are we gonna get there? What about school?"

"It's Friday. We could take the weekend to look for her."

"But what if we don't find her in two days?"

"It's my Daphne, Clark. I know that she's not your crush any more but she's still your friend. We can't just let the monster take her away without a fight."

"Yeah, I know. I've been her guardian angel for a long time; just because I'm gay now doesn't change anything. I just think we need an actual plan. We can't just all pack our bags and leave to go on a wild goose chase."

"I agree with him. We should try to narrow it down a bit so we know where to look. " Whitney said, his body still clinging to Clark after hours of holding on to him like a life support. "Then maybe we could ask our parents if we can go on this little trip. We can tell them Lex has a holiday mansion over there or something."

"Good idea Whitney, but I'll have to ask Lex about that first. I don't know what he'll say to that."

"Ok, so now that we know which city she's going, let's go dig up more clues. Scooby, you go back to sniffing upstairs with Fred."

Clark sighed before walking back up stairs with his newly gained liana vines.

The moment the door clicked shut, Whitney's lips were back on Clarks. The teen was caught completely off guard and fell down onto the floor. Clark was grateful that they didn't fall through the floor instead but all thoughts escaped his mind as he felt Whitney's erection rub against him again.

"I sent you guys up to look for clues not to suck face!!" Chloe shouted rang from downstairs. The two mouths broke apart.

"We really should-" Clark started as he looked at Whitney lying on top of him.

"Yeah, Lana's our friend, we really gotta-" and then Whitney's mouth was back on Clark's again.

"I mean it guys!" another shout rang from downstairs.

Clark sighed as Whitney slowly got off of him.

They spend the next few minutes looking through Tina's things before the discomfort of the silence took over Clark.

"Whitney, I think we should talk."

"Umm...alright Clark" Whitney replied with a tinged of nervousness. 'Oh my god! He isn't gonna tell me he wants to be just friends does he?' he thought to himself. 'What if Lana was wrong and he isn't really gay or hasn't decided to come out yet. Or worst, what if he already has a boyfriend?'

"What is it, Clark?" he asked finally.

"Listen, um... I know from Lana that you really have a thing for me but err... It's just that from the moment you arrived you've been kinda...Well you've been jumping me every time we're alone together and from what Lana described to me I thought you'd want something more than that." Clark continued before Whitney could open his mouth to reply, "I mean it's ok if you do. I mean I'm not an idealistic, romantic, blushing virgin anymore" he blushed slightly at that, "not that I'm a slut or anything because I'm not. Really, I'm not." He sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than Whitney.

The other man sighed with relief. 'So he does like me after all' he thought before wrapping his arms around Clark's shoulders. "Calm down Clark. I know you're probably very confused because of how I treated you before but uh... I really do like you Clark; I just thought I needed to hide my true self before. Now, after brushing myself so closely against death, I know that it wasn't worth it. So I finally took a chance with you."

Clark gave Whitney his 100 Watts smile and Whitney felt his knees go weak. He held onto Clark tighter to keep himself from falling.

"So how about we get back to looking for clues and then when we're in New Orleans... Maybe we can sneak off and, I dunno, have dinner together or something like that?" Clark asked hesitantly.

Whitney gave him an almost equally bright smile. "I can't believe Clark Kent just asked me out on a date."

"So I'll take that as a yes?"

"Take that as a 'hell yes'."

"Found something!" Clark called downstairs before going back down with a small box.

"What is it man?"

"Take a look at these" Clark said as he opened the box and took out a picture. He passed it to the rest of the gang.

"You're welcome back anytime sexy, love Jezz" Pete reads from the back of it.

It was a picture of Tina with her arms wrapped around a gypsy girl, supposedly 'Jezz'. Behind them was a band of musicians playing in the streets and a restaurant called 'The Old Creole'.

"Good morrow to you my worthy friends. What be the news with thee?" Chloe said as she got out of the restroom. She had somehow transformed herself from Velma to a Shakespearean Englishmen.

"Umm... We found out where Tina might be." Clark said as he handed Chloe the picture. The girl held up in the air in a dramatic gesture.

"Oh, be that wanton, fickle lady luck kinder on thee than she was on me! For having given me my lady love, fair as summer's bud in full bloom, as our passion begins to flower, her ever changing whim hath my love from my bosom plucked. Oh spite! Oh hell! My soul, my heart having been reaped from me, I have no will to live - oh lady luck! Thou heartless wench!"

Everyone looked at the girl impressively as she finished her Shakespearean rant. Not one of them understood what the hell she was saying.

"The Old Creole," Whitney said, diverting attention back to the task at hand as he looked at the picture again. "Well, it looks like we know where to start from," Whitney kissed Clark lightly on the neck. The teen blushed cherry red and smiled at him. He gasped Whitney pressed his erection against Clark.

"Hey you two either stop it or go get a room" Whitney ignored Pete and continue to press up against Clark.

"Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind," Chloe interjected poetically.

"Whatever man, my mind ain't gonna wanna see that either" Pete replied. "So how are we going to get there?"

"I'll go home and ask daddy about it. Maybe he'll let us use the Luthorcorp jet."

At that comment, Chloe tilted her head to look up at Clark. ""Clark, hast thou become an insolent cur from thy father's moneys?"

"Wait, daddy??!!! What do you mean by that!!???" Pete asked suddenly, "What are you all talking about??!!"

"Oops!" Clark exclaimed as he tried to think up something. He really didn't want to tell his friend the whole story and watch him faint and wake up and forget all over again. So, he wrapped his arms around his friend's waste. "Pete, remember the DNA test a few months back that I had to take because-"

Pete went limp halfway through Clark explanation. At least this time Clark was prepared enough to have caught his friend before he fell to the floor. He got Pete onto a vintage sofa near by making sure to blow out most of the dust on it before he did. Clark sighed, looking at his best friend before turning back to the rest of the group.

"So... I suppose we should be getting home now. It's getting late," Clark said as he went to pick Pete up again. "I'll take him home."

"Let me help you, Clark" Whitney said as he instantly went to Clark's side. Clark gave him his blinding smile before they both carried Pete to Chloe's little horse drawn carriage

No one knew how the van disappeared or how the carriage was conjured up but everyone knew better than to ask how and/or why Chloe does the things she does.

"Thanks for giving me a ride home Whitney," Clark said, even though he could have Lex get the chauffer to come around and pick him up at Pete's house (where Chloe's carriage had magically changed into a pumpkin the moment everyone walked out of the house).

"Not a problem," Whitney said as he got out of the truck. "Can I walk you to your castle?"

Clark smiled, feeling like a girl. "It's not exactly mine but, sure."

"So, what's like being filthy rich?"

"Tiring... Different. I mean there's so many things associated to it. I mean I have to learn all about taste and public relations and stuff. Lex doesn't let me wear flannel anymore you know? Not that I don't like the expensive clothes or anything it's just..."

"Not you?"

"Yeah," Clark said, there was a hint of tiredness in his voice.

"I understand," Whitney said as his hand found Clark's. "My family, they err... aren't really tolerable of homosexuals... Since before I could I've always been feeling a little different from the other boys. Always an outsider. That's why I try to be so tough, so macho and manly. I thought the feelings would go away if I try to act just like everyone does and no one would know ever know."

Clark gave him a smile that said he understood every word. They simply stared at each other in complete silent for a few minutes. Then Clark placed his hand on Whitney's face, pushing away a long strand of blond hair and tucking it behind his ears before leaning in for a warm and tender kiss.

Suddenly the door burst open, pushing both of the oblivious men away from the door causing the both of them to trip on a step and fall onto the floor. Neither of them even noticed they were already standing at the entrance, let alone know that they were leaning against the door.

"Oh sorry Monsieur Clargh!" A French maid said as she came out the door. She went to help them both get up. "I'm so terhibly sorhy."

"It's ok Amabelle," Clark said as he tried not to stare at her breasts that seemed to be spilling from that tiny French maid outfit. The fabric covering it seemed to be so near the point of explosion that even a gay man noticed it. Both Clark and Whitney tried NOT to comment.

"Monsieur Clargh, Monsieur Lex vants to see you in 'is study."

"Ok, I'll be right there" Clark said as he looked back at Whitney again. "So, I good night, I guess."

"Yeah, good night Clark, I'll see you tomorrow" Whitney said with a shining smile.

TBC

This is crap. The grammar, the spelling... it's crap and its nonsense, why would you read it? I only write it cause bastardisation is fun... sorry to all you disney fans btw, atleast I didn't write anything too explicit.