Author's Note: Well I was happy to see that there were a bunch of reviews waiting for me silently in my mailbox, it was even greater because I forgot I wrote it! LOL

LSJ4ever or whatever your name is, I watched Moulin Rouge a week ago and I must say that now I love that song I had no idea Ewan had such a beautiful voice! LOL!Good job on the song, sorry about it getting booted off.

ENJOY PANSIES!

Identification

Frita pointed to the chalkboard which depicted two stick figures, one boy and the other a girl. She indicated the boy and was going on about man problems. The Marauders sat back hunched in their chairs with a couple of other boys who obviously didn't care about women. About two were actually paying attention and nodding in aggrement and understanding.The rest were nodding off to sleep.Sirius of course, could not sit still longer than a minute. The three women were actually kind of nice, but Sirius didn't care. Everytime they'd ask him a question, he'd just glare at them, as if willing them to explode...or burst into the cancan.

"Well, Sirius, what have you learned?" asked Ginger, the 'emotions' specialist, whowas about as smart as a bag of doorknobs.

"I learned..." started Sirius, grinning. "Not to stick my wand in my back pocket because it'll-"

"Okay," Ginger stopped him hastily."that's enough." She motioned the two others, Frita and Helena into a group huddle. A couple minutes went by in which some boys asked Sirius for an autograph and James gave Peter a wet willy.

"Okay," said Helena, pulling out a basket. "Let's try some identification. I'm going to pull out some objects and we'll go around the room and see if you know what they are. Understanding what women have is the first step to understanding women. Now I want you all to pass the objects around the room and tell us out loud what you think it is." She pulled out a strange object and handed it to Roy, a fourth year in Ravenclaw. The boy studied it and looked it over. The object he held was a tampon, which he obviously didn't know.

Roy: A magic marker?

Billy: An earplug?

Peter: A dead mouse that James and Sirius slap me with.

"That's a fish you idiot!" Sirius called from his chair. "We slap you with a fish!"

Remus of course knew what it was and the women told him not tell. He passed it to James.

James: I know! It's a...um...secret...uh, thing! Yeah!

Sirius: I DO know idiot. It's in their purses. It's something they can shove up an enemy's nose so they have time to run away.

Jim:...is it a time machine?

The women sighed and geustered to Remus.

"It's a tampon you guys. You know, it, well...uh...well I don't know what it's FOR, but I knowwhat it IS."

Helena rolled her eyes and handed a bra to Roy.

Roy: A mouse trap?

Billy: A fruit basket?

Peter: Something the guys put over my head?

Remus: A mask?

James: Naw, course not, it's an over the shouldar double barrled bouldar holder!

Sirius: No, it's a magic boobie maker!

Jim: Yeah! It's a bra.

"Oh my," said Frita. She turned toward the others. "Should we continue?"

"I think it's worth a shot. These are some pretty ignorant boys, but we'll break 'em!" said Helena.She got out the last item. It was a cell phone. Of course it wouldn't work in Hogwarts but the boys would, shouldbe able to tell what it was.

Roy: A pretty rock?

Billy: A tennis ball?

Peter: Something else the guys can shove down my throat?

Remus: A metal...metal...uh, well...it has metal in it!

James: I should know this...I should know this...

Sirius: "It's a horrible brain eating ear worm!" he tossed it near Wormtail who screamed like a little girl.

"Well, at least Peter is more feminine than the rest of you." said Ginger.

"That's not a good thing." said Remus

"I KNEW IT!" shouted Sirius, jumping up on his chair and attempting the cancan.

"Get down from there you little heathen!" screamed Frita who had lost it. Sirius skipped on over to another chair and started dancing Michael Jackson's Thriller. Frita took out her wand. Sirius screamed and ran over to Peter, who he just slapped in the face for no apparent reason, than over-turned his chair and hid under it.

"Hey look at me guys! I'm a turtle!" he said gleefully. The Marauders laughed. Frita stomped toward Sirius but Helena and Ginger stopped her. Helena shoved her out the door but not before handing her the tampon. By now, the other boys had all lined up to do the cancan and Sirius was still under the chair, growling and reaching out to grab Peter's ankles.

The two women ran to their desk. "Whaty should we do?" asked Ginger worridly.

Helena looked up at the clock. "Only-wait? We shouldn't let them walk all over us!"

"Well actually, James is walking all over Billy, not-"

"SILENCE!" she yelled. The boys immediately stopped. For of course, it was in caps,bold, italicized and underlined. They knew better than to mess with that. Helena paused and looked over each boy.

"RAR!" growled Sirius as she grabbed her ankles from under the chair. She stepped on his hand, which immediately retreated.

"100 points from each house!" she said calmly, and downstairs, the hourglasses drained. The boys faces drained as well. 100 points? Never again would they mess with this woman. At least not the boys who weren't Marauders. "You are dismissed. Same time this Thursday. Bring some kleenex, we'll be watching tear jerkers." She pulled out some books as the boys lined up. "These are romance novels, which you'll be expected to have read by Saturday. You will present a report on them. Class dismissed!"

The boys filed out in a straight line chatting and skipping off to their next classes. Sirius would be late of course, because he would be trying to fit the chair through the doorway...

Fanfic is doing this weird thing where it will shove words together. I apologize for that in the last chapter. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!

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