Our Beloved Tekken Characters
By BahamutZERO
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Chapter 1: Nina Williams
Nina was walking down the busy crowded streets of Tokyo. Suddenly, Gun Jack came stomping out of an alley. He raised a metallic middle finger at Nina.
"PISS OFF!!" Nina yelled. She ripped off one of Gun Jack's arms and proceeded to beat him over the head with it. Then she ripped off his head and punted it into a dumpster.
"Faggot," she muttered. And so she continued walking.
For no apparent reason, Lei showed up and pointed his gun at Nina. "I'm going to kill you for no reason, bitch!" he yelled. BANG! (insert Matrix- style slow motion) Nina dodged the bullet and ran up to Lei, punching him in the liver.
"AUGH! MY LIVER!" Nina flipped him over and he landed on a cactus. "AUGH! MY BACK!" Then Nina stomped his balls. "AUGH! MY BALLS!" Nina continued walking, leaving Lei crying on the sidewalk.
As luck would have it, Paul rode up on his motorcycle and stepped off, Law stepping off with him. "I suppose you want to try to kill me?" Nina said suspiciously. "That's right, you slut," Paul shot back. Law raised his hand. "Actually, I came to get a snow cone and-" Paul slapped him. "NO! We're here to kill Nina." Law ran at Nina, screaming like chicken with it's head cut off (which makes no sense). Nina punched him in the face, knocking him back.
Law made some weird Bruce Lee noises and started flipping around. Nina whipped out her pepper spray and sprayed it on Law's nuts. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOAHOAHOAHOAHO!!" Nina picked him up and punted him into the same dumpster as Gun Jack's head.
Paul was shocked. "Holy fuck!" Nina turned around and said, "Ready, Paul?" Paul rushed her with a series of blazing fast attacks. Nina dodged them and chopped his collar bone.
.. .. .. ..
No, no she chopped BOTH collar bones, then threw him into a wastebasket. Paul farted and the wastebasket suddenly turned into a horse-drawn carriage. It took off, dragging Paul along behind. "WAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!" Nina smiled as his screams became fainter and fainter.
Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, Heihachi showed up in his thong. "EW!! Heihachi, why do you wear that thing?" Nina said. "Because I want a sex change," was Heihachi's response. Nina threw a garbage can at him followed by a baseball bat, a fire extinguisher, staple gun, anvil, a box of crayons, a dildo, and a Tekken 4 CD case. While he was stunned, Nina ran up and punted him into the same dumpster as Law and Gun Jack's head.
Inside the dumpster, Heihachi found Law face-fucking Gun Jack's head. Heihachi tried to get out, but the lid closed and locked suddenly. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Nina smirked and continued her walk.
Of course, her ordeal wasn't over. A limo pulled up and the door opened, revealing Anna and Eddy going at it. A disgusted Nina watched as the couple rolled out of the car as it drove off. They both stood up. "I'm going to kill you because Anna told me to," Eddy said proudly. Nina scoffed. "And why did Anna tell you that?" "For no reason at all," Anna cackled. Eddy started break dancing but he never hit anything. Nina grabbed a manhole lid and cracked Eddy across the chest. "OW! MY KNEE!" he yelled, clutching his head. Nina smashed his jaw with the lid and sent him flying into the air.
Just then, the lid to the dumpster opened and Heihachi burst into the air. "GAH! I'M FREE!" Eddy landed on him and they both fell in the dumpster as the lid slammed shut.
Nina turned back towards Anna, manhole lid still in her hand. "Honestly, sister, dear. Do you need weapons to beat me?" Anna asked. Nina shrugged and whipped the lid like a Frisbee. It smacked into Bryan who was walking out of a convenience store with an urge to kill Nina.
Anna started the fight by ripping off what clothing she still had on. Nina simply yanked a telephone pole out of the ground and cracked Anna on the head with it. Then she continued her walk.
Xiaoyu came down from the sky as a Japanese cartoon. "What the hell!?" Nina shrieked. Xiaoyu, with her wobbly eyes, began charging up for her super duper SAILOR MOON MAGIC shit. After screaming and charging for an hour, Nina grabbed her sniper rifle and popped Xiao in the head. Then she walked to her hotel.
As she was about to open the door to her room, Hwoarang stumbled down the hall with 12 joints and 6 cigarettes in his mouth, a needle sticking out of his arm, and an urge to kill Nina for no reason. Nina roundhouse kicked him and dislocated his breastbone, then hung him out the window by his balls.
Nina took a long shower and hit the sack afterwards.
What a day...
-
Go, Nina! Next chapter, Jin Kazama.
By BahamutZERO
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Chapter 1: Nina Williams
Nina was walking down the busy crowded streets of Tokyo. Suddenly, Gun Jack came stomping out of an alley. He raised a metallic middle finger at Nina.
"PISS OFF!!" Nina yelled. She ripped off one of Gun Jack's arms and proceeded to beat him over the head with it. Then she ripped off his head and punted it into a dumpster.
"Faggot," she muttered. And so she continued walking.
For no apparent reason, Lei showed up and pointed his gun at Nina. "I'm going to kill you for no reason, bitch!" he yelled. BANG! (insert Matrix- style slow motion) Nina dodged the bullet and ran up to Lei, punching him in the liver.
"AUGH! MY LIVER!" Nina flipped him over and he landed on a cactus. "AUGH! MY BACK!" Then Nina stomped his balls. "AUGH! MY BALLS!" Nina continued walking, leaving Lei crying on the sidewalk.
As luck would have it, Paul rode up on his motorcycle and stepped off, Law stepping off with him. "I suppose you want to try to kill me?" Nina said suspiciously. "That's right, you slut," Paul shot back. Law raised his hand. "Actually, I came to get a snow cone and-" Paul slapped him. "NO! We're here to kill Nina." Law ran at Nina, screaming like chicken with it's head cut off (which makes no sense). Nina punched him in the face, knocking him back.
Law made some weird Bruce Lee noises and started flipping around. Nina whipped out her pepper spray and sprayed it on Law's nuts. "WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOAHOAHOAHOAHO!!" Nina picked him up and punted him into the same dumpster as Gun Jack's head.
Paul was shocked. "Holy fuck!" Nina turned around and said, "Ready, Paul?" Paul rushed her with a series of blazing fast attacks. Nina dodged them and chopped his collar bone.
.. .. .. ..
No, no she chopped BOTH collar bones, then threw him into a wastebasket. Paul farted and the wastebasket suddenly turned into a horse-drawn carriage. It took off, dragging Paul along behind. "WAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!" Nina smiled as his screams became fainter and fainter.
Just when you thought things couldn't get any worse, Heihachi showed up in his thong. "EW!! Heihachi, why do you wear that thing?" Nina said. "Because I want a sex change," was Heihachi's response. Nina threw a garbage can at him followed by a baseball bat, a fire extinguisher, staple gun, anvil, a box of crayons, a dildo, and a Tekken 4 CD case. While he was stunned, Nina ran up and punted him into the same dumpster as Law and Gun Jack's head.
Inside the dumpster, Heihachi found Law face-fucking Gun Jack's head. Heihachi tried to get out, but the lid closed and locked suddenly. "AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"
Nina smirked and continued her walk.
Of course, her ordeal wasn't over. A limo pulled up and the door opened, revealing Anna and Eddy going at it. A disgusted Nina watched as the couple rolled out of the car as it drove off. They both stood up. "I'm going to kill you because Anna told me to," Eddy said proudly. Nina scoffed. "And why did Anna tell you that?" "For no reason at all," Anna cackled. Eddy started break dancing but he never hit anything. Nina grabbed a manhole lid and cracked Eddy across the chest. "OW! MY KNEE!" he yelled, clutching his head. Nina smashed his jaw with the lid and sent him flying into the air.
Just then, the lid to the dumpster opened and Heihachi burst into the air. "GAH! I'M FREE!" Eddy landed on him and they both fell in the dumpster as the lid slammed shut.
Nina turned back towards Anna, manhole lid still in her hand. "Honestly, sister, dear. Do you need weapons to beat me?" Anna asked. Nina shrugged and whipped the lid like a Frisbee. It smacked into Bryan who was walking out of a convenience store with an urge to kill Nina.
Anna started the fight by ripping off what clothing she still had on. Nina simply yanked a telephone pole out of the ground and cracked Anna on the head with it. Then she continued her walk.
Xiaoyu came down from the sky as a Japanese cartoon. "What the hell!?" Nina shrieked. Xiaoyu, with her wobbly eyes, began charging up for her super duper SAILOR MOON MAGIC shit. After screaming and charging for an hour, Nina grabbed her sniper rifle and popped Xiao in the head. Then she walked to her hotel.
As she was about to open the door to her room, Hwoarang stumbled down the hall with 12 joints and 6 cigarettes in his mouth, a needle sticking out of his arm, and an urge to kill Nina for no reason. Nina roundhouse kicked him and dislocated his breastbone, then hung him out the window by his balls.
Nina took a long shower and hit the sack afterwards.
What a day...
-
Go, Nina! Next chapter, Jin Kazama.