Title: Whispers
Rated: PG-13
Disclaimer: If it looks familiar, I probably don't own it.
Author's Notes: Every CSI: Miami fan either dreams of, or does a "Lost Son" rewrite. It's just something that happens, probably to the equivalent of a Star Trek: Voyager fan doing a Turbolift story. It's merely a sort of virginity all real writers lose in one fandom or another, and this is mine. My version just happens to be filled with sickening amounts of angst and fluff.
Author's Warnings: This is slash. If that bothers you, please leave my line of vision. This is Horatio/Speed, so do expect to find them in sexual situations. This could also stand to have a beta reader go over it, but I did the best I could.
Key Characters: Horatio, Speed
Minor characters: Eric, Alexx
Read on:
Whispers:
Strangely enough, Horatio couldn't remember anything he had been doing before he and Speed met With Mrs. Williams. He seemed to recall every bit of case information he needed, but how he acquired it wasn't important, nor anything before his ride in the Hummer with Speed. He found it slightly unnerving, but again, less than important. If he wanted to remember, he couldn't imagine why. Even as they pulled up in front of McCauley Jewelers, Horatio fond that the gaps in his memory were of no concern and sparked no cause for alarm.
"Nice Rolls, probably the owner's." Speed observed, then stated, "These cars are such a bad investment," He traveled around the Hummer. "I'm just happy I have my bike."
Standing across from him Horatio held back a smile. "Someday, you may need something with doors."
Speed brushed by him with an air of disbelief. "Well, I got plenty of time for that." But his tone told Horatio it wasn't going to happen any time soon.
The shop was nice and tidy, everything Speed expected it to be, his expression showed it. Horatio knew Speed had been to his fair share of jewelry shops over the years and felt confident in his appraisal. Speed stood silent as Horatio asked for McCauley.
There was a new owner, a Mr. Rudolph, call me "Ruddy", Koehler. Horatio seemed to handle the social interaction fairly well and Speed moved off to walk to floor plan. Koehler's cooperative words were loud and clear for both detectives to hear, which only sparked their interest in the shop. Ruddy wasn't fooling anyone with his words. CSIs were trained to pick out a weasel.
Horatio had just settled into the topic Tawny Williams when Speed caught movement towards the back of the shop. Stepping closer he realized there was a person under a desk. If that wasn't suspicious, what was? Not only was it suspicious, it was dangerous, and acting on his training Speed drew forward slowly and flipped the cover off the top of his gun holster anchored on his belt.
Horatio had his back a mere second after pulling his gun. Horatio's attention shifted in his direction, tension in the room to climb. No matter what, Horatio would be behind Speed to cover him and provide an additional backup he required. Horatio was just dependable like that, like a good CSI.
"Speed?" Horatio called, having glanced between Koehler and Speed.
There were no words spoken as Speed flawlessly glanced back. The one look gave Horatio a clear indication that Speed found something wrong with the situation. It was a look of seriousness, confusion and alert, something Horatio never took lightly.
"Stay put," Horatio ordered to Koehler.
Horatio ignored him afterwards, even as Koehler continued to speak about the William's. Not so far in front of Speed a door was opening. Warnings blared in his mind as the doorway appeared empty.
Then unexpectedly it was too late to do much more than yell a warning. A figure was visible, and so was his gun, followed by his bullets. Horatio returned fire, his brain barely registering Speed hadn't been firing.
Next to him Speed had only taken a moment to glance at his gun. An inappropriate moment it was as he had no time to recognize the bullets coming at him. They slammed him backwards with force that left him breathless. He crumpled to the floor without a sound.
Somewhere in the back of his mind, shuffled to a less important section, Horatio realized Koehler was making a run for it. That was far down on the list, far after stopping the gunfire towards him and finding out why Speed had gone down. He prayed Speed had merely taken cover, but that didn't explain why he was sprawled out on the ground. It couldn't be something serious, that just wasn't an option.
But as he fired the last of his round and turned to his friend he saw the absolute worse case scenario. With his heart pounding an his mind screaming he still managed to keep an exterior cool. He dropped next to Speed on the ground, diving for a radio. By the time he called for help a river of blood was already spilling out of Speed's mouth. Speed had been hit by a bullet, maybe more than one, and that was why he was laying on the ground dying. At least one bullet, Horatio knew for a fact, had hit in a bad place, bad enough to cause his lungs to flood with blood.
"You're going to be okay, Speed," Horatio's voice projected, eyes darting as Speed struggled to breathe. "You're going to be okay. You'll be fine."
Speed shook having lost control of his body moments ago. "I can't fell anything," He confirmed
"Hang in there." Horatio leaned over him, pressing a white cloth to the side of Speed's mouth. It did little to stop the flow. "Speed? Speed, keep breathing."
It wasn't hard to deduce Speed's body couldn't much more. He was fighting with every bit of strength he had, but it was useless if he couldn't take in oxygen.
Speed's eyes were large and unseeing. "Can't feel anything," He repeated, growing stiff.
"I know, I know, I understand. Keep breathing."
Horatio increased the pressure of his hand cupping the back of Speed's head and neck.
With a wretched cough Horatio felt droplets of blood splatter on his cheek. Speed was one step closer to death and Horatio couldn't do a damn thing until an EMT unit arrived.
The final blow came in the last real jerk Speed's body gave. Lungs full of blood, heat rate slowing, pulse weakening, every sure bet life was slipping away.
"Speed?" Horatio barely noticed the change in his own voice as Speed became dead weight. He would have give anything to have Speed's body tremble again, anything to see the man fight. Instead tearful eyes gazed blank at him, large with fear and the unknown, begging for release. The look on Speed's face told Horatio he had probably unaware of what was happening to him, he probably hadn't suffered too much with his body shutting down, and part of Horatio was happy for that.
However realistic Speed's death was, he couldn't believe it until he pressed his ear to the man's chest. No heartbeat. Speed's name caught on the edge of his lips as the blood began to pool around the younger CSI.
With a gasp of air unlike anything Horatio had ever taken before, he lurched forward in his bed, gripping the sheets around him in his fists. His breathing rate was rugged at best as cold sweat trickled down his forehead, more pooling at his lower back.
"What's wrong?" A cool hand settled on his forearm. "Horatio?"
"I'm fine," He said softly, turning to his companion. "Really, Speed."
At that Speed hoisted himself up on the left side of the bed, leaning his cool body towards Horatio's warm one. "H? Horatio? Nightmare?" He blinked at his lover through the dark of their bedroom, noting the shakes emanating from the man next to him.
"It's nothing," Horatio reinforced.
Speed rolled away to click his bedside light on to the lowest setting. "It isn't nothing, H. Nothing wouldn't have you nearly flying out of bed, waking me up. Nothing wouldn't give you the shakes, or night sweats."
Horatio blinked quickly at him, eyes adjusting to the light. Then his hand was reaching forward, settling on Speed's chest. He probed for a moment before releasing a huff of warm air. "You're okay."
"Yes," Speed confirmed, his own hand coming up to the area. "Should I not be?"
"Bad dream, nothing more."
Horatio leaned into Speed's touch as the other ran a soft hand over his bare shoulder blades. Speed noted the perspiration that made his hand slick. "Promise?"
"Yeah."
"Good."
Speed drew the sheets off his lower body and swung his legs over the firm mattress. He stumbled lightly on his first few steps but made it to the master bedroom's bathroom with success, then returned with a royal blue hand towel. "Wanna talk about it?" He knelt forward on Horatio's side of the bed and patted the wet skin lightly.
"No," Horatio told him, sliding a hand to cuff the back of Speed's neck, much like he had in the dream. His eyes flicked over to the digital clock. "It's late." More like early, very early in the morning, but it was Horatio's way of asking Speed not to push it.
Speed arched an eyebrow at him then pivoted to toss the balled hand towel into the laundry hamper.
"Alright," He allowed pushing Horatio into a laying position. "Keep your secrets, H." The edges of his mouth tipped upward as he leapt forward to straddle Horatio with his naked thighs. "You'll tell me eventually." His eyes twinkled as he leaned down to press his lips into those of the man he loved.
"Will I?" Horatio questioned.
"Yes, you will." Speed nodded confidently.
With a jerk of his hips Horatio rolled them to the side and pinned Speed under him. He reached out to turn the lamp off and settled his lips next to Speed's ear. "Maybe." But it wasn't likely. He ran his tongue along the bottom of the lobe and felt Speed tremble beneath him, and it made him feel better.
The call came in late in the afternoon with the skies heavy with impending rain. Speed had been occupied in the lab with Eric Delko for hours while Horatio himself had been detained on a follow up case. Up until the moment of the call Horatio had felt relatively well. Despite the gut wrenching dream he had earlier that morning, after a sweet round of lovemaking and a smooth morning, he had managed to shake the feeling of unease.
He, Speed and Eric found themselves just thirty minutes later at the scene of the crime, staring down the crashed boat and damaged bridge. They discovered a body, rich apparently, and dirt. Not much to go on, Horatio could admit, but after Alexx managed to identify the man, they had a starting point.
There was something bad happening, Horatio could feel it. There was a creeping sense of dread crawling under his skin as he and Yelinna headed off the William's residence. He was reluctant to release Speed from his line of view, but squashed the urge act on that feeling. The addition of a kidnapped child didn't help his nerves either.
When Mrs. Williams mentioned the kidnappers wanting jewels as random, his stomach dropped out from under him. Still, the air of professionalism he refused to show externally the chaos that was happening internally.
He flipped out his phone to call Speed and tell him of the recent development.
Jewels, he realized. He and Speed had been in a jewelry shop in his dream. They had been investigating jewelry.
By the time they found the car, Horatio had managed to suppress every bit of nervousness flooding his system. Horatio was a realistic man, never having seen anything even a bit paranormal in his life. In his line of work he considered a firm grasp on reality to be one of the most important character traits. Being a CSI didn't involve anything either than using real, hard facts and evidence.
Over eight hours after Joey Williams was kidnapped Speed identified the jewelry as being man made, and he and Horatio were off to see Mrs. Williams.
"It's possible you swapped out the fake ones for the real ones and didn't tell him," Horatio accused.
She denied.
"You sent him in with a fake random," Speed said. "Sounds like a two-fer. Gets rid of the old man; now you can collect on insurance money, for jewelry you never lost in the first place."
Mrs. William spoke of a jewelry appraisal and Horatio knew the trained words that would come from his mouth next. Who had access to the jewels, and more importantly, are they cleaned?
"At McCauley jewelers," She said.
They rode in silence, Horatio's fingers gripping the passenger door handle as Speed drove. He knew this route, knew where it was taking them. He knew where they were going to stop and exactly what would happen afterwards. He didn't know why he knew, didn't know why he had dreamed it, but he knew.
"Nice Rolls, probably the owners," Speed said, stepping around the Hummer to observe the car parked in front. The tone, the words, everything he remembered dead on from his dream. Horatio found that odd as Speed continued on. He hardly ever remembered his dreams or nightmares, and even when he did, he lost large sections. His ability to remember that nightmare or vision or whatever anyone wanted to call it was baffling.
"Someday," Horatio eased out, remembering his words from the dream, finding he already knew he'd say them. "You may need something with doors."
"Well, I got plenty of time for that."
Damn right he did, Horatio decided. He lost Speed once, real or not, and he wasn't going to let it happen again.
Then it was happening so fast. The situation was out of control. He was speaking, saying things he didn't want to. He was locked into following the routine the dream had set forth. He wanted to shove Koehler aside and call out to Speed. His lover was taking his gun out, and he still couldn't break the pattern. What was the purpose of having the dream if he couldn't change it? Who the hell was laughing at him? Who was teasing him, baiting him?
The back door opened and suddenly time sped up. He could move, and he could scream.
"Speed!"
Instead of holding his position as he was trained to do, he took bold steps forward, firing as fast as he cold move his finger. He hoped to draw attention to himself, and then he heard the faint click of a jammed gun. Without thought for his own safety he lowered his now empty gun and dove from Speed.
The hail of bullets stopped the moment Horatio and Speed hit the ground, footsteps feeling from the scene.
"Speed?" Horatio asked, pressing himself up off the floor.
Painful eyes looked at him. "It hurts," He managed, through clenched teeth. He raised a bloody hand to Horatio, who felt his own heart stop briefly. He hadn't managed to do anything. Nothing had been changed.
In a frantic voice he called for backup.
"It really, really hurts, H."
Horatio nodded to him and shrugged his jacket off in one motion. He folded it quickly and pressed it over the wound, applying pressure. Then he froze, his eyes locked on Speed's. This wasn't how it happened in his dream. He remembered that clearly, and this wasn't it. Speed never said anything about it hurting. Speed was currently coherent, he realized.
"Hey, now," Horatio told him softly, leaning forward to press his forehead to Speed's. "It's okay, you'll be fine. Lay still."
Speed smile wide at him, despite the evident pain he was in.
Horatio's knees and legs felt numb under him, but he smiled back with real emotion. Speed's teeth had been white and unblemished, and his words had been clear. His chest was rising and falling regularly.
"Am I gonna get morphine?" Speed asked.
Horatio nodded. "Lots of it," He guaranteed. "Then we can go home."
"Oh, yeah." Speed grunted and shifted under the pressure Horatio was applying. "Morphine and home, what more could a guy ask for?"
With a grimace Speed swallowed hard. "Ambulance?" He asked, eyes dropping.
"Stay awake," Horatio said, shaking Speed who hissed in return from the pain. "Speed, the ambulance is almost here, but you need to stay awake."
Despite Horatio's best efforts blood had begun to leak around the jacket and from underneath Speed. The younger CSI was in danger of going into shock as his breathing became shallow.
They had been sitting in silence for only a short while when Horatio's ears perked up as he heard the comforting sounds of an ambulance. "Hear that?" Horatio asked Speed, leaning down to feel Speed's warm breath against his face. "That's an ambulance and you're going to be fine."
Speed was propped up in his hospital bed and dozing lightly when Horatio entered the room with Alexx on his heels.
"The doctors are confident he'll make a full recovery," Horatio said. "The bullet was lodged in his left shoulder and Speed'll have to undergo an undetermined number of weeks of therapy, but he'll regain all of the use of his left arm."
"That's good." Alexx placed her hand on Speed's forehead, leaning in close to press a kiss to his hairline. "You did good, Horatio," She told him, turning to make eye contact. "I read the statement you gave. You pulled him out of the way, applied pressure to the wound and kept him conscious. You kept our boy alive."
"I saw it," Horatio told her, linking his fingers through his belt.
Speed mumbled something incoherent in his sleep and wiggled a bit. Both Alexx and Horatio waited for him to still before continuing.
"It's a light sedative. He's expected to wake soon." And Horatio couldn't wait.
"What do you mean?" Alex wanted to know, going back to his previous statement. "You saw it?"
Horatio sighed loudly in frustration. "I'm not exactly sure what happened, but last night I had a dream about today. I wasn't aware the dream was mirroring today until Speed and I headed to McCauley Jewelers. Alex, I knew what was going to happen."
"You knew the both of you would be involved in a shootout?"
Horatio shook his head. "I knew Speed would die."
With astonishment in her face, Alexx stood slowly, keeping her hand on Speed. "Horatio--"
"I know, it doesn't make any sense. How could I have dreamed something the night before it actually happened?"
"Why didn't you attempt to change it, the shootout? You said you didn't know until you got the jewelers, but then why didn't you pull him aside or send him back to the Hummer?"
"I couldn't." Horatio clenched his hands. "I just couldn't. I was walking and talking and doing none of it of my own violation, like I was supposed to go through the motions."
Alexx asked him, "Then how did you save his life?"
"It was the last second before things went bad. Suddenly I had control again and I dove at Speed."
Horatio moved to stand behind her, putting his hands comfortingly on her shoulders. He glazed down at Speed in wonder. "I don't know how I dreamed that, Alexx, but it was the only thing that kept Speed from ending up in your hands--under the scalpel."
He could feel her shoulders sag. "I just don't know, Horatio. It sounds so far fetched, but if that dream is the reason why my baby is sleeping instead of dead, I won't question it."
A quiet knock came from the door. Speed mumbled again, proving just how light of a sleep he was in and Eric Delko's head slid in.
"Hey," He said in a quiet voice. "Alexx, a Mr. Eddings is asking for you, something about the Stacy Marco case and it can't wait."
"Sure." She sniffed, leaned down to kiss Speed once more and granted Horatio a compassionate hug. "I'll come back a bit later, after he's awake." She brushed by Eric with a knowing look, and he returned it.
"Any chance I'm going to get some quality time with my best friend?"
"In due time," Horatio assured. He nodded to Eric excusing him from the room and took a seat in Alexx's vacated chair.
Horatio reached for Speed's hand. "Thank you, Speed. Thank you for fighting to stay with me."
"Always," Came the slurred response.
"Speed?"
Speed's eyes opened slightly, unfocused and large. "Nobody else." He felt Horatio squeeze his hand and pouring all his strength into returning the gesture, he squeezed back. "More morphine?"
The redhead detective held back a laugh. "No, Speed. No more morphine. Just lots of rest." He brought Speed's hand up to his lips and kissed the knuckles.
"Not in public," Speed said eyes rolling towards his door.
Horatio climbed to his feet. "It's fine," He soothed. "We're fine. I'm sure Eric is standing guard outside your door. Relax. Why don't you go back to sleep?"
The injured man nodded slightly, swallowing harshly. "Be here?"
"Yes," Horatio guaranteed. "Now and forever."
Speed's eyes dropped closed and his hand became limp in Horatio's. "Make'n sure. Love you."
"Me, too." Horatio leaned down to give Speed a chaste kiss and then settled back into the chair, prepared to wait as long as Speed needed to sleep.