Our Beloved Tekken Characters
By BahamutZERO
Disclaimer: Same as always
Chapter 3: King
WHAM! The Wing Chung dummy smashed into a wall.
THWACK! It hit the floor.
CRACK! The arm of the dummy was ripped off.
BOING! Kazuya got an erection.
King was practicing his critically acclaimed wrestling skills on a wooden Wing Chung dummy. He grabbed it by the legs and began his Giant Swing throw as his mentor, Armor King, looked on.
Gaining enough momentum, King released the dummy, sending it flying towards Armor King.
"Good job, Ki..." WHAM! AK collapsed to the floor in a heap. King rushed over and knelt beside his mentor. "I am SO sorry!" King whimpered. AK grabbed King by his shoulders and pulled him closer. "King," he said. "I'm dying. I need the sacred healing powers of the Mountain Dew before I can stand again." "Um, but you just have a lump on your head..." "DO NOT MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF!!" King jumped back in surprise. "King, go and find the mystical Mountain Dew and return with it. Only with that can I stand again."
King scratched his head. "Uh, didn't you just say that?" "JUST GO AND GET THE FUCKING MOUNTAIN DEW, YOU MORON!!"
And so King set out on his quest for the Mountain Dew. First, he tried to question others to see if they knew where he could find this Mountain Dew. His first destination was Marshall Law's dojo.
Upon entering, he found the usually student-crowded room completely deserted. Suddenly, the sound of screaming echoed in the room. King rushed to the door where the sound was coming from: "AWWW, YEAH! AWWWWWWWWWWW, YEAH! KEEP IT UP, BABY!!" King knocked on the door and screaming abruptly stopped. Marshall opened the door.
King scratched his head and said "Um, is someone hurt?" "Oh, that was me. I was, uh... practicing my Chi yell. It helps me do those cool back flips."
"I see," came King's reply. "Anyway, do you know where I can find a Mountain Dew?"
"Hmm. I have no clue. Maybe you should ask Jin?" Law answered, rubbing his chin. King left the dojo but as he reached for the door handle, more yelling issued from the room.
BACK AT KING'S HOUSE...
"Man, King was such a sucker," AK said, as he lounged on a beach towel. "I can't wait for my free Mountain Dew."
King headed for the Mishima household. He knocked on the door and it opened, revealing Jun.
"My, my. King! It's so good to see you," Jun said, as she let King inside. The leopard man timidly walked in where he was greeted by Kazuya. However, the front of his pants had a strange triangular bulge.
"What?" Kazuya asked, when he saw King staring at the bulge.
"Nothing, nothing. Um, I'm looking for Jin. Is he here?"
"Why yes, he is," Jun said as she led King upstairs. She knocked on the door and a voice yelled "COME!"
Jun ushered King inside and quickly shut the door behind him. King saw Jin bent over in front a mirror, examining something very closely. King carefully walked forwards.
"Um..."
"What is it?" came Jin's curt reply.
"Did I come at a bad time?" Jin slowly stood and turned around. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with him.
"I believe you did," Jin said. "This one bang is out of alignment." Jin pointed at his perfectly plain hair.
"I'm sorry to hear that. Anyway, I'm searching for a Mountain Dew. Do you know where I could find one?"
Jin's jaw dropped. "You came all the way out here to ask me where you can find a Mountain Dew? Just go to a stupid grocery store."
And so King did.
He entered the store and searched the aisles thoroughly, passing by the Mountain Dew cases twice. Finally, he bumped into Lei, who hastily hid a bunch of small bottles and boxes behind his back.
"Oh, hi, Lei. Do you know where the Mountain Dew is?" Lei said nothing and pointed to the shelves.
"Thanks a lot," King said, as Lei hastily shouldered past him. As he walked off, King saw the items he was hiding behind his back. "KY? Trojan Man? Must be doing some police work or something."
King selected a 2 liter bottle and, paid for it, and headed home.
AK heard the front door opening. He quickly ran out to the back yard and hit the ground, faking his moaning. "OH! OW, IT HURTS!"
King rushed to his side and triumphantly raised the bottle of Mountain Dew over his head. "I have returned with the sacred...!" SMASH! The Wing Chung dummy hit King and knocked him out. AK was furious.
"What the hell!? This is Code Red! I wanted a regular Mountain Dew, you simplistic fuck!"
King cowered beneath his mentor. "I-I-I-I only had e-enough money to pay f- for one bottle."
AK became even more furious. "That's it! You know what's coming." AK undid his belt and folded it several times, making a whip.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
-
Coming up: a day in the life of Paul Phoenix!
By BahamutZERO
Disclaimer: Same as always
Chapter 3: King
WHAM! The Wing Chung dummy smashed into a wall.
THWACK! It hit the floor.
CRACK! The arm of the dummy was ripped off.
BOING! Kazuya got an erection.
King was practicing his critically acclaimed wrestling skills on a wooden Wing Chung dummy. He grabbed it by the legs and began his Giant Swing throw as his mentor, Armor King, looked on.
Gaining enough momentum, King released the dummy, sending it flying towards Armor King.
"Good job, Ki..." WHAM! AK collapsed to the floor in a heap. King rushed over and knelt beside his mentor. "I am SO sorry!" King whimpered. AK grabbed King by his shoulders and pulled him closer. "King," he said. "I'm dying. I need the sacred healing powers of the Mountain Dew before I can stand again." "Um, but you just have a lump on your head..." "DO NOT MAKE ME REPEAT MYSELF!!" King jumped back in surprise. "King, go and find the mystical Mountain Dew and return with it. Only with that can I stand again."
King scratched his head. "Uh, didn't you just say that?" "JUST GO AND GET THE FUCKING MOUNTAIN DEW, YOU MORON!!"
And so King set out on his quest for the Mountain Dew. First, he tried to question others to see if they knew where he could find this Mountain Dew. His first destination was Marshall Law's dojo.
Upon entering, he found the usually student-crowded room completely deserted. Suddenly, the sound of screaming echoed in the room. King rushed to the door where the sound was coming from: "AWWW, YEAH! AWWWWWWWWWWW, YEAH! KEEP IT UP, BABY!!" King knocked on the door and screaming abruptly stopped. Marshall opened the door.
King scratched his head and said "Um, is someone hurt?" "Oh, that was me. I was, uh... practicing my Chi yell. It helps me do those cool back flips."
"I see," came King's reply. "Anyway, do you know where I can find a Mountain Dew?"
"Hmm. I have no clue. Maybe you should ask Jin?" Law answered, rubbing his chin. King left the dojo but as he reached for the door handle, more yelling issued from the room.
BACK AT KING'S HOUSE...
"Man, King was such a sucker," AK said, as he lounged on a beach towel. "I can't wait for my free Mountain Dew."
King headed for the Mishima household. He knocked on the door and it opened, revealing Jun.
"My, my. King! It's so good to see you," Jun said, as she let King inside. The leopard man timidly walked in where he was greeted by Kazuya. However, the front of his pants had a strange triangular bulge.
"What?" Kazuya asked, when he saw King staring at the bulge.
"Nothing, nothing. Um, I'm looking for Jin. Is he here?"
"Why yes, he is," Jun said as she led King upstairs. She knocked on the door and a voice yelled "COME!"
Jun ushered King inside and quickly shut the door behind him. King saw Jin bent over in front a mirror, examining something very closely. King carefully walked forwards.
"Um..."
"What is it?" came Jin's curt reply.
"Did I come at a bad time?" Jin slowly stood and turned around. There didn't seem to be anything wrong with him.
"I believe you did," Jin said. "This one bang is out of alignment." Jin pointed at his perfectly plain hair.
"I'm sorry to hear that. Anyway, I'm searching for a Mountain Dew. Do you know where I could find one?"
Jin's jaw dropped. "You came all the way out here to ask me where you can find a Mountain Dew? Just go to a stupid grocery store."
And so King did.
He entered the store and searched the aisles thoroughly, passing by the Mountain Dew cases twice. Finally, he bumped into Lei, who hastily hid a bunch of small bottles and boxes behind his back.
"Oh, hi, Lei. Do you know where the Mountain Dew is?" Lei said nothing and pointed to the shelves.
"Thanks a lot," King said, as Lei hastily shouldered past him. As he walked off, King saw the items he was hiding behind his back. "KY? Trojan Man? Must be doing some police work or something."
King selected a 2 liter bottle and, paid for it, and headed home.
AK heard the front door opening. He quickly ran out to the back yard and hit the ground, faking his moaning. "OH! OW, IT HURTS!"
King rushed to his side and triumphantly raised the bottle of Mountain Dew over his head. "I have returned with the sacred...!" SMASH! The Wing Chung dummy hit King and knocked him out. AK was furious.
"What the hell!? This is Code Red! I wanted a regular Mountain Dew, you simplistic fuck!"
King cowered beneath his mentor. "I-I-I-I only had e-enough money to pay f- for one bottle."
AK became even more furious. "That's it! You know what's coming." AK undid his belt and folded it several times, making a whip.
"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
-
Coming up: a day in the life of Paul Phoenix!