By Siriusly Amused
Author's Note: Another hour has past since last chapter's ending author's note. We are still cold and still in the basement and my parents keep coming down and telling us to shut up. This is the second night they had to come downstairs and tell us to shut up. I think they regret having children but honestly it's not my fault that the floor/ceiling is so thin.
Another Author's Note: Reviews are very cool!
Disclaimer: My bum hurts...I own my bum...but I don't own...Harry Potter...Oil of Olay...the Heimlich Maneuver...Coldplay...Charlotte's Web...Friends...Muse
Old People
"Let's play rock, paper, scissors!" I stated giddily.
"Why?"
"Because I haven't played it in awhile!"
We bobbed our hands three times and I chose scissors and Remus chose rock. I gazed at him despondently. "I hate you." Remus smiled and we both went back to unpacking his things. I had moved the computer into Harry's room and the rest of the 'office' into my room so that Remus would have a place to stay.
"I really appreciate this, Sirius," he said as I helped him make the bed. "I mean, giving me a place to stay." I waved him off.
"Honestly I'm glad you're here. Raising Harry is a lot harder than I thought it would be. James had his work cut out for him, let me tell you. Harry's all moody and confused. Not to mention the PTA meetings and cooking healthy food so that Harry grows big and strong."
Remus was laughing. "Well, I'm glad to be of help. Harry was one of my brightest students back when he was in 8th grade. Nothing on Hermione Granger, but he definitely has Lily's brains."
"Why thank you, Mr. Lupin," Harry stated. He had just returned home from school. "But why are you in the pig sty...I mean office?"
"He's staying here, Harry," I stated. "He's between jobs and has been having a bit of a hard time."
"Oh?" asked Harry.
"Yes, well remember when I told the class how to hotwire a car?" Remus asked Harry. Harry nodded. "And remember that day after school, Draco tried it and ran a car into the basketball hoop?" Harry nodded yet again. "Well they fired me after that year because of it."
Harry gasped. "Those bastards!"
"Language, Harry," Remus scolded.
"Err, I let him curse, Remus, is that bad?" I was ignored.
"Anyway, that incident along with me looking so shabby due to my insomnia has kept me from having a decent job. Not to mention that the recession isn't helping me any. So Sirius said that I could stay here until I get myself back on my feet, which shouldn't be too long from now. Dumbledore has given me a job at Hogwarts High as a sub. Granted that's not a steady job but next year I will be teaching history and other humanities...Binns is retiring."
"That's great!" Harry stated. "Well, that causes for some celebration! I'm making pizza!"
I looked at Remus. "He cooks!" I said giddily.
I had half a mind to shove Draco into my locker that still has an identity crisis. Maybe the locker will start to think that it's a jail cell and never open again, ridding me of Draco's annoying presence. We were walking to our 4th hour English class one day at the end of January and Draco was prancing around me like a cat with rabies and asking me numerous questions.
"So how should I ask her?"
"I don't know, Draco."
"When should I ask her?"
"Who cares? Whenever."
"You're no help!"
"Of course I'm not! You need to ask a girl these questions, not me. Anyone will tell you that I'm no good with women. God only knows how I got Hermione. Where's Harry anyway?" Harry had showered very quickly after P.E. and I couldn't find him where we normally sat in the gym, waiting for the bell to ring.
"He mumbled something about Spanish," Draco said as we came into English. Mr. Flitwick gave us an evil smile and we both shut up about Harry's whereabouts. "That didn't look good," Draco said in a whisper as we sat down. "What do you think he has up his sleeve?"
"Who knows," I said as Hermione came in and sat down next to me and in front of Draco. I was wondering if Mom had bought me some more pop tarts when Draco tapped Hermione on the shoulder.
"Hey, Granger," he whispered as the late bell rang and Harry rushed into the room just in time. I gave Draco a warning glare. What was he doing addressing my girlfriend? Hermione turned around and gave him a quizzical yet polite glare.
"What?" she asked as Harry, who sat behind me, started poking me in the back repeatedly with his rather sharp number two pencil.
"Hey, Ron, I need a compass," Harry whispered, taking out his geometry. I ignored him and continued to focus on Draco and Hermione.
"Would you like to get some pizza at Ern's tonight?" Draco asked.
Hermione looked confused but ended up shrugging her shoulders. "Sure, as long as I can bring Ginny."
"WHAT!?" I exclaimed loudly, jumping out of my seat.
"Great, see you at five then."
"Oh you definitely will not!"
"Mr. Weasley sit down and be quiet, please," Mr. Flitwick instructed. "And Mr. Potter, you just barely made it to class. Care to humor us with your reasons why?"
Harry, who had stopped poking me when I jumped, sighed. "I had to leave P.E. early to finish a Spanish test. Then I went to my locker and Dumbledore stopped me in the hall on my way here to give me a piece of gum. He has a whole bag and has been passing them out to everyone."
"Really?" Draco asked.
"Yeah."
"Hmm...I should find him and get some." Draco had a thoughtful expression on his face. "I ran out of gum yesterday. Um, Mr. Flitwick, I left my Muse CD in the cafeteria, I have to go get it before someone steals it."
"Sit down, Draco, you can get it after class."
"Yeah, Draco!" I exclaimed, still peeved over him asking Hermione out. "You need to explain why you're taking MY girlfriend out to dinner."
"I'm also taking your sister."
I angrily rummaged through Hermione's pencil bag and pulled out her compass. "Don't make me use this!" I warned him and brandished the pointy end at him.
"Well you told me to do it!" Draco said in self defense.
"I most certainly did not!"
"Yes you did, just a few minutes ago. You told me to talk to girls about my problem and Hermione and Ginny are girls...well...I'm pretty sure they are. I never had my way with them, see, so I wouldn't know for sure."
"Why you little..." I lunged at Draco but Harry absentmindedly took the compass out of my hand and started using it for his geometry homework. The whole class was watching by now and Mr. Flitwick seemed bored as I pulled Draco's hair.
"Mr. Weasley, you can come and stand up here by me for the rest of class," Flitwick instructed.
"But..."
"Just go," Hermione hissed.
I released Draco and marched to the front of class. "Good," Mr. Flitwick said once I had got there. "Now I'm sorry to say that we are going to start...SPEECHES." He said the last word as if it were a fun game but believe me, no one was smiling.
"Harry, we're going to Ern's Pizza at five tonight," Ron instructed after school.
"Ron, spying on them will only get us into trouble." I reasoned.
"Not if they don't recognize us," Ron replied in a conniving manner. And that was how I found myself dressed in Ron's grandma's old clothes at five o'clock that night as we strolled into Ern's Pizza.
"There they are," Ron said, pointing to a booth where Draco was paying for a large pizza that the waitress had just set down in front of them.
"Why do I have to be the woman?" I whined as Ron, dressed in old man clothes, pulled me over to the booth next to them.
"Because that dress made my hips look big," Ron said distractedly as he tried to lean closer to the booth next to us.
"What will it be?" asked the waitress, coming to our table, her pen ready to take down our order.
"What? Oh, I don't know, what do old people eat. Um...prunes, we'll each have a bowl of prunes!" Ron stammered, waving the waitress off.
"I don't like prunes," I whined.
"You'll eat them and you'll like them," Ron threatened, jabbing a finger at me.
"How come neither of you have wrinkles?" the waitress asked.
"Oil of Olay, love, Oil of Olay," I said, patting the waitress' hand in a grandmotherly fashion.
"Shut up, they're talking!" Ron scolded.
"Thanks for coming you guys," Draco said. "I know I'm not the nicest person in the world." Both Ginny and Hermione shrugged.
"Free food," Ginny stated.
"Well," Draco continued, sucking up a string of cheese that dangled from his mouth. "I have a girl problem and I would really like some advice." Both Hermione and Ginny squeaked in what I, and apparently Ron and Draco, thought to be an annoying fashion for all three of us guys winced. "Erm, yeah, well see, I just realized the other night that I'm falling for Noelle." The girl squeaked again. The waitress came back with our prunes and Ron looked positively sick.
"And you want to know how to tell her," Hermione guessed.
I grew bored and started nibbling at my prunes.
"Yeah!" Draco said. "How did you know?"
Both girls didn't answer but went into a detailed account of Noelle's favorite things. "She likes vanilla and white roses," Hermione said.
"Yeah, and Coldplay. She LOVES Coldplay," Ginny added.
"Aren't Coldplay coming to town soon?" Hermione inquired.
"On Valentine's Day," Ginny answered.
"Billy Beerbomb could get tickets, but that would mean that Fred, George, Lee, and Billy would tag along with you two," Hermione informed, looking a bit downtrodden.
"No problem," said Draco happily. "A bunch of us could go to the concert then I'll have vanilla ice cream and white roses sent to house for when I take her home and next to the bowl of ice cream I'll have a note asking her out!"
Ron snorted but both girls sighed dreamily. "Draco, that's so romantic," Ginny said, placing her chin in her hand.
"Yeah, I wish Ron did something like that," Hermione added. Ron looked as if he wanted to shove his prunes down someone's throat.
"I wish Harry did something like that," Ginny stated in a dreamlike state and both tables became quiet with the exception of me choking on my prunes. Ron started thumping me on the back as I continued to choke.
"I mean, Michael," Ginny corrected hastily, but Hermione and Draco were now looking our way as I continued to choke and Ron hit my back.
"Excuse me, Miss, but I know the Heimlich Maneuver if you need it," Draco offered.
"Er...that's alright young man," Ron stated in a rickety voice. "She does this all the time."
And with that the two of us hobbled out of Ern's Pizza as fast as we could.
The first week of staying with Sirius and Harry had been pleasant and peaceful. I even began to sleep better. I was actually sleeping one evening when I heard the door to the apartment slam, followed by two nearly baritone voices of teenage boys. I dragged myself out of bed and went to the door of my bedroom only to meet Sirius in the hall. He too looked as if he had been sleeping.
"Duty calls," Sirius stated, as if he were a mother getting up for a midnight feeding. Sirius stretched and began walking to the kitchen where the voices continued. I followed Sirius and we both stopped short by what we saw. Harry and Ron were in the kitchen and dressed like old people. What was even a bit more disturbing was the fact that Harry was in a dress.
"Harry, what's going on?" Sirius asked. He went to the refrigerator and peered inside so he wouldn't stare at the boy's attire.
"I'm utterly confused, that's what's going on," Harry stated angrily. He hitched up his dress and sat down on the counter, revealing pantyhose underneath the flowered garment.
"You can say that again," muttered Sirius under his breath. He looked as if he wanted a beer very badly. "Care to elaborate why?"
"I just realized that the spider in Charlotte's Web was a black widow," Ron stated out of no where. "No wonder I was so scared." We ignored Ron's delusional mumblings and focused on Harry.
"Well," Harry stated as Sirius handed me a beer and opened his own, "today in English Draco Malfoy asked Hermione to meet him up at Ern's Pizza and said that Ginny could come too."
"When did you guys start hanging out with Draco?" I asked, but I was hushed by Sirius.
"Hermione said yes for some reason," Harry continued, "and Ron here of course got jealous."
"Did Charlotte's Web disturb you as well, Harry?" Ron asked.
"Ron would you shut up? I'm trying to have a serious discussion and you're babbling on about a children's movie!"
"Children's movie!?" Ron exclaimed. "Harry, she ATE her husband!"
Harry stuffed a nearby apple into Ron's mouth and continued with his story. "Anyway, Ron convinced me somehow to dress like this and we went to Ern's to spy on them."
Sirius and I both winced. "Stupid move, boys," I said and Sirius nodded. "Always trust your women until they give you reason otherwise."
"I'll write that down," Ron stated. He was happily eating his apple.
"So what did you find out?" Sirius asked.
"Well, Draco wanted to talk to them about his love life. He just recently fell in love and wanted to know how to ask the girl out," Harry explained in a bored tone.
"Draco's capable of love?" I asked confused. This whole situation was confusing me greatly. "That's a shock! What does Lucius have to say about this?" I was ignored.
"So why are you confused, Harry?" Sirius asked.
"Because Draco came up with some plan that was obviously romantic and the girls were gushing and Ginny said that she wished I would do something like that."
"Ooohhh," said Sirius knowingly.
"You and Ginny are dating?" I asked, feeling out of the loop.
"They were," Sirius explained. "But Ginny dumped him for stupid girly reasons and they're both on the rebound."
"I am not rebounding!" Harry exclaimed but a look from Sirius made him hang his head and mumble incoherent things to his high heeled shoes.
"Oh, I get it now," I stated. "So you're confused about your relationship with Ginny."
Harry nodded and Ron got up and put a pop tart in the toaster. Sirius finished his beer and stretched again, obviously wanting to go back to bed.
"Well, Harry," he stated, throwing his bottle away. "Let the pro give you some advice."
"The pro?" Harry asked.
"Sirius was a ladies man back in the day," I explained. "I think he dated every girl within a ten mile radius, including your mother."
Sirius shot me a glare that stated, 'I will kill you' then looked back at Harry. "It was for one week and it was in the 7th grade so don't feel weird about it. I got one kiss on the cheek and that was it. We were only friends after that. Anyway, I personally think that you should play the field a bit, Harry. I know you really care about Ginny," Sirius added, raising a hand when Harry tried to protest, "but your relationship was all wrong. It started as a favor to a friend, then it nearly ruined friendships. I think it will be best if you two gave it a break for awhile and then if the feeling lingers, give it another try later and start it off right."
"I guess that makes sense," Harry stated doubtfully.
"Of course it does," Sirius stated. "Besides, how would you explain suddenly wanting to get back together so soon? You'd have to admit that you were spying and that would not only ruin whatever chances you have with Ginny but it might also ruin Ron's relationship with Hermione and those two are too cute together."
Ron was looking positively embarrassed. "So you don't think I should play the field?" Ron asked.
"From what I know, Weasley men don't play the field," Sirius stated. "They usually get it right on the first or second try."
Ron began to choke on his pop tart.
"Now, Sirius, don't scare the boy" I scolded, patting Ron on the back. "It's not always true. I believe your second cousin dated about ten people before she found Mr. Right."
"Yeah," added Sirius. "And all of your brother's with the exception of Percy has had several girlfriends and none of them seem to be seriously considering marriage yet...granted Fred and George are still too young to consider marriage."
Ron nodded but looked worried and pale.
"Now," said Sirius, clapping his hands together, "would you two please change clothes? You're disturbing me."
"Are you sure that you're ok, Ginny?" I asked her in her bedroom after we came home from Ern's Pizza. She was reorganizing things, including moving her furniture around.
"I'm fine, Hermione, just confused."
"About Harry?" I asked her.
"Yeah," she sighed, sitting down on her floor. "It just really sucks. Harry has always been like Prince Charming or something you know?" I nodded. "And our relationship turned out to not be a fairy tale."
"No relationship is," I told her. "Do you know how often Ron and I fight?"
Ginny nodded with a slight smirk. "The whole school knows how often you two fight, but how do I fix my problem with Harry?"
"I say give it time," I told her. "If you two are destined to be with each other, you'll find a way back to each other."
Ginny smiled. I was just about to leave when we heard Ron's bedroom door slam. I went to the double doors separating Ron and Ginny's rooms and knocked. Ron opened the door without looking at me and walked over to his bed.
"What's wrong," I asked him, shutting the door though I knew Ginny would listen on the other side.
He sighed and plopped down on his back to stare at the ceiling.
"Sirius reckons that we'll get married."
I laughed. "Yes, well Sirius also believed that Rachel would end up with Joey on Friends."
Ron propped himself up on his elbows and had a hurt look on his face. "So you don't want to marry me?" he asked.
"Ron, we're sixteen!"
"I'm still fifteen," he mumbled.
I sat down on his bed and hit him with a pillow. I then brought my head down to touch foreheads with him. "I love you now, I'll like you forever, and no one, not even Sirius, knows whether or not we'll get married."
"You love me?" Ron asked shocked and he got up from the bed and tripped over his own feet.
"Ron, don't be an idiot," Ginny yelled from the other side of the door.
"Goodbye, Ginny," I called. Ron got to his feet and began pacing his room.
"You love me?" he asked again more to himself than to me. I sighed and went to him. He startled when I touched his arm.
"You don't have to say it back," I told him and with that I left.
End Author's Note: Muhahaha!!! I bet you HATE how I ended that! That just means you'll have to keep reading. Anywho, you guys glad that Remus is back? I am. I started the next chapter already but it may be a day or two before I get it out because today is father's day and I have to work till close tonight. I'm really amazed at how I'm able to write and post within days. I haven't had a muse like this since when I started Anthem. I'm kind of hoping for a wave of reviews again though I guess I shouldn't get my hopes up, huh? Just know that this chapter would probably not have even been started by now if I didn't get all of those reviews. I especially like the long ones!