Our Beloved Tekken Characters
By BahamutZERO
Author's note: Another update coming ages after the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this! (And I don't own anything)
Chapter 8: Lee Chaolan
FLASH! A sliver streak blazed across the highway. Lee was driving down the interstate in his Mustang, going over 200 MPH. Suddenly, he saw the familiar blue and red flashing lights.
"Shit," he muttered as he let up on the gas pedal. Lee pulled over and a squad car pulled up behind him. Lee took a peek in rear-view mirror and spotted Lei coming towards him.
"Damn!" Lee whispered to himself. This was the seventh time in three months. When was Lei going to get off his case?
Lei came up to the side of Lee's vehicle and looked over the car. He then approached Lee and whipped out his ticket book.
"License and registration, please," Lei demanded. Lee pulled out his wallet and handed his driver's license to Lei. Lei looked it over and began writing a ticket.
"Weren't you going just a tad fast back there? I mean, the sign says 'Speed Limit 65.' Why were you going so fast?" Lei asked.
"Well," Lee said. "To be perfectly honest, I was running from you. But since you're such a pain in the ass, I should have known I wouldn't get away."
Lei just nodded and gave Lee his license back and a ticket.
"Well, from now on, just slow it down, or I'll drag you down to the station and throw you in an 8 x 8 cell, buddy," came Lei's response. At this point, Lee, who had looked at the ticket and saw the amount at $8000, jumped out of his car and prepared to attack Lei.
"Hey, cop!" he yelled. "FUCK YOU!" Lei stopped and slowly turned around. He drew his gun and aimed it at Lee's forehead.
"Care to repeat that?" Lei said, the edge of authority in his voice. Without warning, a red figure flew down from the sky. Sword gleaming in the sun, the figure cut off Lei's hand. A screaming Lei backed off as the figure stood there, sheathing its sword. Lei picked up his hand.
"You were lucky!" he yelled. "We'll meet again!" With that he drove off.
The figure, which appeared to be some sort of cyborg ninja turned and faced Lee.
"Who are you?" Lee demanded.
"I am like you; I have no dick," the ninja replied.
"What the hell are you talking about!?" Lee yelled back. Then, inwardly he said "How did he know that?"
"Neither enemy nor friend. I am back from a world where such words are meaningless. I will fuck you or you fuck me. It makes no difference."
"I still have no idea what you're babbling about!" Lee yelled. Suddenly, the ninja leaped up and attempted to stomp Lee. The silver haired man dove to the side to avoid the attack. He could have sworn the ninja was cackling.
"Now, make me feel it! Make me feel fucked again!"
The ninja unsheathed its sword; which actually tuned out to be the biggest dildo Lee had ever seen. The ninja rushed at Lee, swinging the dildo around. Lee jumped and rolled over the hood of his car. While the ninja was recovering, Lee grabbed his cell phone and dialed a number.
-
The phone rang. Jun picked it up. "Hello?"
"Is Kazuya there? This is Lee."
"Hold on a minute. Kazuya! Honey pumpkin! Lee is on the phone for you!"
Kazuya stomped down the stairs and took the cordless phone from his wife.
"What the hell do you want, twit?"
"Kazuya! There is a ninja man chasing me with a giant rubber dildo! HELP!"
"He's just playing with you. Why don't you try throwing away your weapons."
"WHAT!?"
"Throw away your weapons."
"I don't have any weapons! What the hell are you talking about?"
"Put the cell phone down and punch the ninja in the face. Don't you remember that your cell phone has gun on it?"
"Oh yeah, I installed that along with the camera, ATM machine, and dish washer the other day. I forgot all about those! Thanks, Kaz!"
"You're welcome."
-
Lee threw his cell phone in the road and put his arms up in defense. "Bring it, bitch," he whispered. The ninja rushed again with a horizontal dildo swing. Lee ducked underneath and came back up with an uppercut, connecting cleanly with the ninja's chin. The ninja faltered back.
"Ah, good! Now we can fight as warriors! Balls to hand is the basis of all combat! Only a fool trusts his orgasm to a sex toy!"
"What on earth are you-" Lee was cut short as the ninja attempted to stomp him again. Lee stepped aside and retaliated with Silver Cyclone. The ninja was knocked flat on his back.
"That's good, Lee! Hurry up and fuck me!"
With that, the ninja disappeared. Lee walked around the car, eyes sharp for any sign of his adversary. Suddenly, the ninja appeared in front of him. With a swing from the dildo, Lee was knocked clear across the road. Lee felt as if he had been hit with a truck.
"Damn, that's one firm dildo," Lee said.
The ninja leaped across the road and tried to use a downward stab. Lee rolled to the side and got up just in time to receive another stab from the dildo. Lee grabbed the end and used it to flip the ninja over his back.
"HAHAHA!" Lee yelled. "EWWW!!" He quickly tossed the dildo aside.
"Like old times," the ninja whispered. "I've been waiting for this pleasure!"
Lee focused his energies and assaulted the ninja with every thing he had.
A punch in the face. "Ah, I remember, that fuck." A kick in the shin. "Fuck me more!" A roundhouse in the chest. "Do you remember, Lee? The feel of fucking! The clashing of skin and... um... skin!" A jab to the throat. "That's good, Lee."
"I can't take this anymore!" Lee screamed. "I am not having sex with you! Why do you keep yelling things like that you sick, twisted, perverted moron!"
"Ah, I felt that," the ninja said calmly. "Do you remember me now?"
Lee thought about for a moment. "No," he said.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The ninja's scream was ear-splitting. He began banging his head on the ground. "I-I-I-I am losing myself!" With that, he jumped up and ran off.
Lee stood there for a moment, trying to make some sense of what just happened. Unable to come to a logical conclusion, he shrugged and hopped in his Mustang. He began to accelerate. Faster and faster...
Soon, he was going over 200 MPH. He glanced in his rear-view mirror and spotted the familiar blue and red flashing lights.
"Shit," he muttered.
-
Next chapter: Eddy goes to school!
By BahamutZERO
Author's note: Another update coming ages after the last chapter! I hope you enjoy this! (And I don't own anything)
Chapter 8: Lee Chaolan
FLASH! A sliver streak blazed across the highway. Lee was driving down the interstate in his Mustang, going over 200 MPH. Suddenly, he saw the familiar blue and red flashing lights.
"Shit," he muttered as he let up on the gas pedal. Lee pulled over and a squad car pulled up behind him. Lee took a peek in rear-view mirror and spotted Lei coming towards him.
"Damn!" Lee whispered to himself. This was the seventh time in three months. When was Lei going to get off his case?
Lei came up to the side of Lee's vehicle and looked over the car. He then approached Lee and whipped out his ticket book.
"License and registration, please," Lei demanded. Lee pulled out his wallet and handed his driver's license to Lei. Lei looked it over and began writing a ticket.
"Weren't you going just a tad fast back there? I mean, the sign says 'Speed Limit 65.' Why were you going so fast?" Lei asked.
"Well," Lee said. "To be perfectly honest, I was running from you. But since you're such a pain in the ass, I should have known I wouldn't get away."
Lei just nodded and gave Lee his license back and a ticket.
"Well, from now on, just slow it down, or I'll drag you down to the station and throw you in an 8 x 8 cell, buddy," came Lei's response. At this point, Lee, who had looked at the ticket and saw the amount at $8000, jumped out of his car and prepared to attack Lei.
"Hey, cop!" he yelled. "FUCK YOU!" Lei stopped and slowly turned around. He drew his gun and aimed it at Lee's forehead.
"Care to repeat that?" Lei said, the edge of authority in his voice. Without warning, a red figure flew down from the sky. Sword gleaming in the sun, the figure cut off Lei's hand. A screaming Lei backed off as the figure stood there, sheathing its sword. Lei picked up his hand.
"You were lucky!" he yelled. "We'll meet again!" With that he drove off.
The figure, which appeared to be some sort of cyborg ninja turned and faced Lee.
"Who are you?" Lee demanded.
"I am like you; I have no dick," the ninja replied.
"What the hell are you talking about!?" Lee yelled back. Then, inwardly he said "How did he know that?"
"Neither enemy nor friend. I am back from a world where such words are meaningless. I will fuck you or you fuck me. It makes no difference."
"I still have no idea what you're babbling about!" Lee yelled. Suddenly, the ninja leaped up and attempted to stomp Lee. The silver haired man dove to the side to avoid the attack. He could have sworn the ninja was cackling.
"Now, make me feel it! Make me feel fucked again!"
The ninja unsheathed its sword; which actually tuned out to be the biggest dildo Lee had ever seen. The ninja rushed at Lee, swinging the dildo around. Lee jumped and rolled over the hood of his car. While the ninja was recovering, Lee grabbed his cell phone and dialed a number.
-
The phone rang. Jun picked it up. "Hello?"
"Is Kazuya there? This is Lee."
"Hold on a minute. Kazuya! Honey pumpkin! Lee is on the phone for you!"
Kazuya stomped down the stairs and took the cordless phone from his wife.
"What the hell do you want, twit?"
"Kazuya! There is a ninja man chasing me with a giant rubber dildo! HELP!"
"He's just playing with you. Why don't you try throwing away your weapons."
"WHAT!?"
"Throw away your weapons."
"I don't have any weapons! What the hell are you talking about?"
"Put the cell phone down and punch the ninja in the face. Don't you remember that your cell phone has gun on it?"
"Oh yeah, I installed that along with the camera, ATM machine, and dish washer the other day. I forgot all about those! Thanks, Kaz!"
"You're welcome."
-
Lee threw his cell phone in the road and put his arms up in defense. "Bring it, bitch," he whispered. The ninja rushed again with a horizontal dildo swing. Lee ducked underneath and came back up with an uppercut, connecting cleanly with the ninja's chin. The ninja faltered back.
"Ah, good! Now we can fight as warriors! Balls to hand is the basis of all combat! Only a fool trusts his orgasm to a sex toy!"
"What on earth are you-" Lee was cut short as the ninja attempted to stomp him again. Lee stepped aside and retaliated with Silver Cyclone. The ninja was knocked flat on his back.
"That's good, Lee! Hurry up and fuck me!"
With that, the ninja disappeared. Lee walked around the car, eyes sharp for any sign of his adversary. Suddenly, the ninja appeared in front of him. With a swing from the dildo, Lee was knocked clear across the road. Lee felt as if he had been hit with a truck.
"Damn, that's one firm dildo," Lee said.
The ninja leaped across the road and tried to use a downward stab. Lee rolled to the side and got up just in time to receive another stab from the dildo. Lee grabbed the end and used it to flip the ninja over his back.
"HAHAHA!" Lee yelled. "EWWW!!" He quickly tossed the dildo aside.
"Like old times," the ninja whispered. "I've been waiting for this pleasure!"
Lee focused his energies and assaulted the ninja with every thing he had.
A punch in the face. "Ah, I remember, that fuck." A kick in the shin. "Fuck me more!" A roundhouse in the chest. "Do you remember, Lee? The feel of fucking! The clashing of skin and... um... skin!" A jab to the throat. "That's good, Lee."
"I can't take this anymore!" Lee screamed. "I am not having sex with you! Why do you keep yelling things like that you sick, twisted, perverted moron!"
"Ah, I felt that," the ninja said calmly. "Do you remember me now?"
Lee thought about for a moment. "No," he said.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" The ninja's scream was ear-splitting. He began banging his head on the ground. "I-I-I-I am losing myself!" With that, he jumped up and ran off.
Lee stood there for a moment, trying to make some sense of what just happened. Unable to come to a logical conclusion, he shrugged and hopped in his Mustang. He began to accelerate. Faster and faster...
Soon, he was going over 200 MPH. He glanced in his rear-view mirror and spotted the familiar blue and red flashing lights.
"Shit," he muttered.
-
Next chapter: Eddy goes to school!